Just Before You Go

“He’s out,” Jimmy laughed, pulling Brian’s legs from the floor onto the bed with a loud groan. “And he’s fucking heavy.”
I frowned at snoozing Brian, “Is this a usual occurrence for him?”
“What, getting shit-faced at two in the afternoon?” Jimmy grinned.
I nodded my head.
“Sometimes,” he shrugged. “Not usually this shit-faced, though…”
“And does he try to fight Matt often?” I laughed, turning my gaze from Brian to Jimmy, who was now standing straight.
“Never,” Jimmy said seriously. “That was…weird.”
I shrugged, “It’s because Brian has a crush.”
“So?” Jimmy asked, eyes narrowed as he plopped down on the bed next to me.
“What do you mean, so?” I giggled. “Matt was hitting on her…right in front of Brian.”
Jimmy glanced around, “…So?”
“Oh my…” I groaned, shaking my head. “You’re not seriously that dense…”
Jimmy gasped, thrusting his hands to his chest dramatically. He fell backwards onto the bed, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth.
“What…what are you doing?” I laughed awkwardly.
He opened only one eye, “I’m dead.”
“Oh,” I nodded slowly. “I guess I can see that.”
“Can you just pretend to be amused by me?” he pouted before resuming his death tongue out the side of his plump lips.
I smiled, “You are amusing; don’t worry.”
Jimmy propped himself up onto his elbows, “Okay, so I don’t get it—why does Brian hate Matt now?”
“I never said he hates him,” I whined. “You’re a terrible listener.”
“I know,” he nodded once. “But explain it anyway.”
“Brian very clearly has a big crush on that singer girl,” I said slowly.
Jimmy nodded again.
“And he made a total dick of himself,” I half-laughed. “And then had to watch Matt be all flirty and endearing? I’d want to hit him too.”
“Yeah…” Jimmy scratched at his head, eyebrow furrowed heavily. “I still don’t get it.”
“Forget it,” I laughed.
Jimmy was very obviously still thinking about it. After a few seconds, he nodded his head to himself.
“It would be like if Brian had flirted with you when we first met,” Jimmy suggested.
“Brian did flirt with me when we first met,” I laughed.
Jimmy scowled, “Yeah…but not after he knew that I liked you. He wouldn’t do that.”
I shrugged, “It’s like that, I guess.”
“But it isn’t,” Jimmy argued confusedly. “Because I knew you when I decided I liked you…Brian doesn’t even know Blair.”
“When you decided?” I mocked, a subtle grin toying with my face.
He cackled, “Yeah. How else am I supposed to word that?”
“Literally any other way,” I giggled. “I liked you right away.”
He shook his head, “Did not.”
“Did too!” I argued like a four year old. “From the very second that I spotted you, I knew there was something…different…about you.”
“Different,” he scoffed. “What a nice way of telling me I’m obnoxiously insane.”
“You’re not,” I smirked. “But that isn’t what I meant…And now I feel really stupid because obviously I’m a lone wolf on this.”
He considered this for a second before shrugging his shoulders, “I get it.”
“Do you?” I asked with an eyebrow cocked.
“Yeah, sure,” he offered lamely. “I felt it too, I guess.”
I grimaced, “You guess? God damn are you ever cryptic today.”
He laughed, “I don’t know. I don’t want to get all mushy on you…You get weird when I mention my feelings.”
“I don’t get weird,” I defended. “…Do I?”
He nodded, “I told you that I thought you might be my soul mate and you told me you were hungry.”
I’d never been very good at the whole affection thing. It was something I wanted to be well-versed in, though. I knew that it was important that people understand how feelings for them—good or bad. I’d just never really learned how to verbalize it.
But with Jimmy, I’d caught myself nearly professing my love for him on more than one occasion. So…that must have said something about the validity of what I’d been feeling.
“I suck,” I smirked.
He snickered, “And you do it so well.”
“Shut up,” I groaned.
“Anyway,” Jimmy droned. “You’re trying to tell me that Brian feels…connected…to someone he doesn’t know?”
The sarcasm in his voice was palpable. He obviously wasn’t buying what I was selling.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged with a sigh. “It’s just my theory—he seems genuinely scared of her, so unless she threatened to shoot him when we weren’t looking…I just don’t understand why else.”
“Huh,” Jimmy exhaled, glancing over at his friend. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brian actually like someone. He doesn’t like anyone.”
“He likes you,” I noted.
He scrunched his face, “That’s different.”
“Brian has lots of girlfriends,” I offered.
Jimmy tilted his head from side to side, “Yeah, I guess…But that just proves my point, doesn’t it? He’s never kept a girlfriend for longer than a month. Ever.”
I frowned. Not like I couldn’t relate, but I’d never really actively participated. I’d had one long-term relationship, so Brian and I couldn’t be compared—thankfully. But the idea of Brian never experiencing real love was something that made my heart sad for him. He was pretty loveable, after all…when he wasn’t acting like a drunken buffoon.
“Maybe he can date Blair,” I smiled happily. “They’d make adorable children.”
Jimmy laughed, shaking his head, “Won’t happen.”
“Why not?”
He looked at me seriously, “Did you see how Brian talked to her when he had his chance? Would you date that guy?”
I sniggered, “True…But she really didn’t seem to mind.”
“Blair’s pretty cool,” Jimmy nodded. “She’s probably cooler than Brian. She’s too cool for Brian.”
I considered this for a second, watching as a smidgen of adoration washed over Jimmy’s face. He lit up when he talked about her—in a way that made me instantly insecure. Let’s be real, compared to a rock star…I didn’t stack up. She was stunning and a bad ass…everything she did was mesmerizing.
I was a nobody. I was a bartender with a ton of student debt they’d never be able to afford to pay off. I was insecure and self-loathing was my specialty…Jealousy coursed through my veins.
That was all I needed…competition.
“How’d you meet her anyway?” I asked, trying not to sound too interested.
Jimmy shrugged, laying all the way back onto the bed once more, “Met her backstage at a festival. She drank with me, so…obviously we became friends.”
“Obviously,” I reiterated, hesitating. “…Which festival?”
He shrugged again, “I don’t know…They’ve all blurred together at this point.”
“Recently?” I continued to quiz.
He eyed me up, “Yeah…Like, I don’t know, two or three weeks ago.”
“I don’t remember you going to any festivals,” I said lowly.
Jimmy tilted his head, “That’s because I didn’t invite you. You said you don’t like going to concerts.”
“Right,” I nodded.
“What’s with you?” I asked suspiciously.
“Nothing,” I lied. “I was just curious how you met her.”
“Uh-huh,” he groaned, his eyebrow high up on his head. “Just curious.”
I nodded.
“A likely story,” he grinned, poking at my ribs. “You’re jealous.”
I shrugged, “How could I not be?”
Jimmy shook his head, “Have you looked in a mirror recently?”
“I have.”
Jimmy smirked, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“Would you sleep with her?” I asked point blank.
His eyed widened, “What?”
Clearly my issues from my last relationship were unresolved. I was still as untrusting as ever—and now it was coming out at a totally ridiculous time. But I couldn’t stop the words as they slipped passed my tongue.
“I just…” I paused, already embarrassed of myself. “She’s so beautiful…and she’s cool…and she was really excited at the mention of your name…It’s just—”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Jimmy half-laughed. “You can go ahead and stop now.”
I shrugged, “Fuck, even I want to sleep with her.”
“I know you do,” he grinned. “It’s hot.”
“Jimmy,” I said flatly. “Be serious.”
“I am,” he retorted. “You’re not being serious. Would I sleep with her? Give me a break.”
My cheeks were hot, “If we weren’t together—”
“That’s a risky game you’re playing,” he snickered. “I’m not participating.”
“I wasn’t implying…” I stopped. “I’m being weird. Sorry…”
He shrugged, “I don’t offend easily.”
“My last boyfriend cheated on me…a lot…” I explained lamely because it felt like I should. “So…I guess I get weird about other women now…That’s great.”
He smiled up at me, “I would never.”
“You say that now,” I sighed. “But when you’re off on your tour and I’m back home—”
“I would never.”
I stared down at him.
“Some of the other guys get a little…morally questionable,” he laughed. “But I’m not into cheating, Aria. I’ll do every drug that I find without thinking twice about it, but I would never stick my dick in someone else.”
That visual was disgusting. Jimmy laughed at the visible discomfort on my face.
“Blair’s cool,” he told me. “But you’re way cooler.”
“Don’t lie to me,” I laughed.
Brian stirred, startling both me and Jimmy. Jimmy stretched his neck to look over at his friend, who grumbled something in his sleep but didn’t wake. We relaxed.
“Do you think he’ll sleep all day?” I asked like it mattered.
Jimmy laughed, “Probably. But if he isn’t up by nine, we’re leaving him here.”
I smirked.
“I’m serious!” he groaned. “Somehow he’s my responsibility because he’s put himself into a coma?”
“Yes,” I giggled. “We don’t want him choking on his puke.”
“If he isn’t up by nine,” Jimmy said again, grinning from ear to ear. “We’re leaving him here.”
“Whatever you say,” I smirked.
“We should nap,” Jimmy decided aloud.
I shook my head, “We need to keep an eye on Brian.”
Jimmy whined.
“You nap,” I laughed. “I’ll watch Brian.”
Jimmy nuzzled into his own shoulder, his arms folded across his chest like a vampire or a bat. I flicked on the television and turned it as low as it could go without having to turn on the subtitles.
“You wouldn’t, right?” Jimmy’s voice startled me.
I jumped, “What? Wouldn’t what?”
“Cheat,” he said simply.
I shook my head, “No.”
“Especially not with any of my friends, right?” he asked awkwardly.
“No…” I answered slowly. “Absolutely not.”
“Okay,” Jimmy shrugged and then closed his eyes once more.
Something about his sporadic question made me feel a little better about myself. Obviously I wasn’t the only one with issues…or a fear of losing the other.
After all, that’s where the fear of cheating comes from, right? Because then you’ll have no choice but to give them up—or to find a way to live with it. I wasn’t a strong enough soul for that, though. If Jimmy cheated, I’d have to give him up cold turkey.
And maybe he was the same way…Filled with the same anxieties and the same worries…
Maybe he loved me too.
But, for now, he just needed to know that I wasn’t going to mess around with Brian when he wasn’t looking. The notion of nearing Brian in that capacity was nauseating.
Speaking of nauseating…
Brian sputtered awake just in time to begin projectile vomiting all over his temporary half of our hotel room. I ran to help him roll over before dashing to the other side of the room to grab the garbage bin. I held it under Brian’s heaving body and prayed to god his aim didn’t target in on me.
Jimmy must have been used to it because he slept through the whole thing.
“I’ll go grab you water,” I told Brian once he’d stopped reenacting that scene from The Exorcist.
Once I’d returned, Brian’s eyes were low but alive; he was watching the television, rubbing at his stomach absent-mindedly.
“Here,” I said softly, handing the glass of water to him.
“Thanks,” he grumbled, taking a long and exaggerated sip. “I’m…I’m fucking embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” I shrugged.
He laughed gently, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…Sorry you had to see that.”
“The puking or you acting like an asshole?” I smirked.
He shrugged, “All of it.”
“It’s all good,” I assured him. “You should sleep it off.”
He nodded, “Thanks, Aria.”
I smiled, climbing back into my bed next to Jimmy and turning my attention back to the TV.
“You’re a solid human being,” Brian told me groggily before passing back out.
And for a second, I wasn’t insecure at all.

Notes

Sorry for the delay! I'm in the middle of finals and, so, my schedule is hella tight.

xx