Just Before You Go

“Shoot,” the bimbo attached to Matt pouted, holding her phone in her hand. “I gotta go.”
Matt pouted back at her, “Shoot.”
“Maybe I could get your number,” she smiled. “We can hang out sometime.”
“Yeah…” Matt hesitated. “Give me your phone, I’ll put it in there.”
She did. Matt typed quickly and then handed it back. She gave him a kiss on his cheek before disappearing into the crowd.
“Did you seriously just give that girl your number?” Jimmy grinned. “She’s a stage five clinger for sure.”
Matt shook his head, “Nah, I gave her Johnny’s number.”
Jimmy cackled, holding his plastic cup up to cheers his friend, “Bravo, Shads.”
“That poor man,” I grumbled.
“It’s what happens when you’re short,” Jimmy told me seriously. “You get the scraps.”
Matt howled.
“You guys are ridiculous,” I giggled, sipping at my foamy beer.
We’d been hanging around at the same table for well over an hour. It was nice to escape from the sun and the beer was flowing.
“Fuckers,” Brian grunted as he collapsed onto the bench beside Matt.
“Syn!” Matt cheered. “Where the fuck have you been?”
Brian made an attempt to point but his arm looked more like a noodle. His eyes were glazed and he was doing a hell of a lot of slow blinking. Anyone with half a brain could tell that he was absolutely shit faced.
“By the beer,” he spoke sloppily. “It’s bett—It’s better over there.”
“Oo!” Jimmy sang playfully. “Syn’s smashed!”
“You’re smashed,” Brian slurred, pointing a lazy finger at Jimmy.
“Good one,” Jimmy growled sarcastically.
“We hear you met your future wife,” Matt grinned from ear to ear, nudging Brian lightly with his shoulder.
Brian nearly toppled over.
Jimmy narrowed his brows at his drunken friend. I didn’t know Brian well, but even I had never seen Brian this drunk. He had literally no center of balance. He struggled to get himself upright again.
“Fuck her,” Brian grunted.
Matt raised his eyebrows, “Wouldn’t you just love that.”
“Shut up!” Brian growled, reaching for a full cup in the middle of the table but missing, effectively dumping Matt’s drink into his lap.
Matt’s jaw dropped as the foamy ale crept through his jeans. He very slowly turned his head to look at Brian. Brian was still and his eyes were nearly bursting out of his head.
“Shit,” he slurred. “Sorry, Shads.”
Matt blinked at him.
“Aria!” Jimmy shouted excitedly. “Now you’re not the only one spilling shit all over people!”
Brian snickered quickly but stopped himself when he realized Matt still wasn’t laughing. He made his face stone straight once more.
“I’m going to go clean this shit up,” Matt grumbled, pushing himself off of the bench and tearing away from the table.
Brian winced at us, “Oops.”
“How much have you had to drink?” I asked Brian nervously.
He closed one eye, swaying from side to side, “I don’t know…a bit…like…a little…bit.”
Jimmy looked entertained by the whole thing—which didn’t come as much of a surprise. He rarely got worked up about anything; and it certainly was never about someone else’s shenanigans. He had a delightful little grin plastered all over his perfect face.
“Had to drown out your miserable fail, huh?” Jimmy croaked, sipping at his beer. “Too much for sober Brian to process?”
Brian snatched a red cup off the table and slammed it against his lips. He took a gigantic gulp before responding to Jimmy sloppily, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Synyster Gates is afraid of a girl,” Jimmy sang boldly.
“I’m not afraid of shit,” Brian growled.
“Did you, or did you not, run away from that singer?” Jimmy continued relentlessly.
Brian’s eyebrows dropped low, “Fuck off, Jim.”
“You did!” Jimmy gasped happily, tossing his arms over his head. “It’s confirmed!”
“She’s a bitch,” Brian grumbled, taking another massive gulp.
“You don’t even know her,” I laughed awkwardly.
He grimaced at me, “I can just tell.”
“Or,” Jimmy hummed. “You fucking love her. It’s probably the latter; you always were a bit of a pussy when it came to the ladies.”
“I get more pussy than you could ever dream of,” Brian retorted smugly, trying his best to look coherent.
Jimmy tried not to laugh.
“He fucking better,” I smirked at Jimmy. “Or you and I are going to have a problem.”
“Jimmy would—Jimmy would never cheat on you,” Brian told me, waving his finger around in the air as he tried, and failed, to focus his eyes on me. “You’re like a fucking angel.”
“Thanks…I think,” I said slowly.
He nodded lazily, his head looking too heavy for his shoulders, “You’re a perfect specimen.”
He was sure to enunciate every single syllable of the word ‘specimen’. I tried not to show my discomfort.
“I’d do you,” he continued, downing the rest of the cup and moving on to another.
“That’s probably good, Brian,” Jimmy warned lowly.
Brian looked up at his friend, then to me, then back to Jimmy, and tossed his hands up by his sides—dropping the cup onto the table, which spilled out in every direction, “I’m just sayin’.”
“Find your own girlfriend,” Jimmy laughed, slinging an arm around my shoulders territorially.
Brian scoffed, “No thanks.”
He put the red cup upright and then grabbed a fresh one. We were going to need a refill on our supply of beer pretty soon.
“Don’t let him take yours,” Jimmy said quietly to me with a laugh. “I’ll be back with more.”
“Please don’t leave me,” I whimpered with a grin.
We looked at Brian who was inspecting his empty cup with a real disheveled kind of look. Then, for no real reason at all, he nearly fell backward. He looked genuinely angry that he’d had to adjust his body.
Jimmy opened his mouth but paused briefly, “Uh…yeah, he’ll be fine. Don’t let him run away.”
Jimmy disappeared, leaving Brian and I alone. Normally that wouldn’t be such a problem, but in Brian’s aggressive state, I was nervous to make any sounds. So, I tried to sit as still as possible to discourage communication.
It seemed to work because Brian didn’t even notice I was still there.
“It looks like I’ve fucking pissed myself,” Matt’s voice startled me.
I whipped around to see him standing next to our table, gesturing to his very damp groin. He was not pleased.
“Fuck you, Gates,” he hissed.
Brian raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes, I assumed in an attempt to actually see Matt. Have you ever seen Jack Sparrow? The pirate guy from those movies? Yeah, that was Brian—but with picket-straight black hair instead of dreadlocks. About the same amount of eyeliner though.
“How fucking toasted are you right now?” Matt groaned, sliding next to him and forcefully taking his beer away.
“Hey!” Brian snapped.
Matt shook his head, turning away as he downed the rest of the cup, “Now you’ll have to wait for a refill.”
“Fuck that,” Brian grumbled and tried to stand.
Matt used his muscles for good, placing one hand on Brian’s shoulder and pulling him back down to the bench. He gave Brian a daring look—which Brian understood, despite his impaired motor skills.
“Where’d Jimmy go? Did Brian spill shit all over him too?”
I snickered, “No, he went to get more beer…you know…since Brian drank it all.”
“Or spilled what was left,” Matt groaned.
Brian had apparently checked out.
“Oh no,” Matt grinned deviously. “Oh god. This is going to be good.”
I was confused, “What?”
“Hey!” a familiar voice sounded to my left.
I turned to find the wonderful Blair Peterson hovering by my side. She was smiling—and to my surprise, she was alone. My eyes looked around for her friend (boyfriend?) but came up short.
“Oh, hey,” I smiled back.
“Sorry I was so delayed,” she half-laughed. “We had a little mishap.”
“Um…no problem,” I managed weakly.
Brian was looking like he had earlier in the day—he was visibly afraid. He was staring at her like she might be his next meal. It was unnerving.
“No Jimmy?” she asked sadly.
“He’ll be right back,” I told her quickly. “Did you want to sit?”
She looked around for a second and shrugged her perfect shoulders, “Sure, I have a minute.”
She slid onto the bench beside me and locked her eyes on Matt. I couldn’t help but notice her cheeks flush a little as he shot her a dimpled smile.
“Matt,” he said to her, extending his hand across the table.
“I know,” she smirked. “M Shadows.”
“Right.”
“Blair,” she said, shaking his hand.
“I know,” he grinned.
Brian was watching what I was watching—their hands lingering a little too long to be deemed appropriate for a handshake.
“Awesome set last night,” Matt complimented as they finally drew their hands away from one another. “You’re an incredible performer.”
I couldn’t help but picture what their babies would look like—no doubt they’d be beautiful. But Brian looked so…conflicted. It was obvious he held the most adorable little crush on this perfect human being. Matt wouldn’t dare flirt with her…would he? I mean, it wasn’t like Brian actually knew her…
His face would have suggested otherwise.
“Thanks!” she beamed. “They wouldn’t let us watch the bands before our set…My guitarist was pretty bummed. He wanted to see Synyster Gates. He belongs to you, right?”
I laughed a little—belongs.
“Yeah,” Matt smirked. “Bummer you didn’t get to see us. We put on a good show.”
She blushed a little harder, “I bet you do.”
“Not comparable to you though,” he added cockily. “Obviously.”
Brian stayed silent, which was a little bit confusing. He was just watching. Maybe the alcohol had finally made him unable to speak—wouldn’t that be a little bit of a blessing. Drunk Brian was arrogant and I didn’t much care for him at all.
“Obviously,” she mimicked teasingly.
Blair’s eyes drifted from Matt and over to Brian. Her face visibly flinched as they made eye contact—but Brian didn’t even blink. He was just staring her down…like a real fucking creep.
“Hello again,” she said awkwardly.
He blinked finally.
She pulled away backward ever-so-slightly, “Are you a mute or what?”
“No,” he grumbled.
“Oh!” she chuckled. “You do speak!”
“Do you know who I am?” he bit, obviously trying not to slut his words.
She cocked an eyebrow, “Besides drunk?”
“I’m Synyster fucking Gates,” he told her seriously.
She looked from Brian to Matt quickly.
“O…k…ay?” she offered lamely, trying her best not to laugh.
“I’m not afraid of you,” he said so seriously that she, this time, couldn’t help but laugh.
She shook her head, “I don’t get it.”
“They think I’m scared of you,” he slurred loudly. “Like Synyster fucking Gates would ever be afraid of some dumb bitch.”
Her eyes widened a little—but not out of shock, I’m pretty sure. She looked like she was ready to punch him in the jaw.
Matt and I held our breaths as the tension mounted. Brian was very clearly way too drunk and moved passed aggressive and onto obnoxious.
“That’s cute,” she retorted. “I don’t often make a habit of referring to myself by my full name, but I guess that’s reserved for assholes.”
“I’m not an asshole,” he barked.
She nodded slowly, “Uh-huh…Ya seem like an asshole to me.”
“Fuck you,” Brian groaned.
She scoffed, “Fuck you.”
“Who’s fucking who?” Jimmy asked happily, his arms full of red solo cups overflowing with foam.
“Brian and Blair Peterson were just getting to know each other,” Matt told Jimmy slowly. “It’s going well, I’d say.”
“Brian?” Blair caught, repeating it with a scoff. “Your name is Brian?”
He furrowed his brows at her.
“This is going well,” Jimmy declared, plopping down next to me and handing me a beer as he intently watched the B’s declare war against one another.
“So what am I supposed to call you?” she asked. “Brian or Synyster fucking Gates?”
“You’re going to fill me in, right?” Jimmy whispered to me excitedly.
I nodded, shushing him with my hand.
All we needed was popcorn.
“I don’t give a shit what you call me,” Brian slurred.
She rolled her eyes, “You’re pleasant. I’m glad we got a chance to talk. It was a missed opportunity earlier when you literally ran away from me, so…I’m glad we made up for it.”
“Fuck you!” Brian hissed again, louder this time.
“Fuck you,” she said simply. “Brian…Synyster…Whatever the fuck I’m supposed to call you.”
“How about you call me later,” he grinned.
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. I noticed a tiny, tiny smile forming at the very tips of her plump lips. She shook her head at our drunken Brian and turned her focus to Jimmy.
“Anyway,” she moaned. “I came to say hello to you; but, unfortunately, this guy has eaten up my time,” she gestured to Brian once with her thumb. “So…”
“Are you going to the after party tonight?” Jimmy asked her from behind his cup of beer.
She scrunched her face, “I don’t know…Last night was a little much. I don’t do crowds so well…”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Brian groaned from the other side of the table.
She flipped him off without looking, “I’m probably going to sit this one out.”
“No!” Jimmy objected sadly. “You should come! I’m sure Aria would like it if you came. She has a big ol’ girl crush on you.”
My cheeks beat red, “Jimmy!”
Blair smiled, glancing over at me, “Are you stuck with these guys alone tonight?”
I nodded sadly.
“I’ll think about it,” she shrugged, pushing herself to her feet.
Matt interjected with a smile, his eyes tracing over her slim body, “You should definitely come. It’s going to be a good time. You can hang with us if you don’t like the crowds.”
“Tell Justin to come!” Jimmy added. “I like that guy.”
She rolled her eyes, scoffing at the idea, “Justin. Yeah…I’ll get right on that.”
“Don’t let them badger you,” I giggled.
She smiled, taking a step back from the table, “Maybe I’ll see you guys later.”
“You better come tonight!” Jimmy called after her. “Or my girlfriend will be stuck with me all night! Think of her well-being!”
She laughed, waving as she dipped away from our table.
“No one cares if you come!” Brian shouted after her, wobbling from the effort.
Jimmy tossed an empty cup at his friend’s face. It connected and then flopped onto the table with a little flop.
Brian didn’t even seem to notice.
“We should get him to the hotel,” I said quietly. “If we’re supposed to be going to a party later, Brian should probably sleep this off for a while.”
Jimmy nodded, “Fuckin Gates. Always ruining a good festival.”
“We’re taking him back,” I told Matt as Jimmy and I climbed to our feet.
“Okay,” Matt nodded, stood, and put his hands around Brian’s arms, “Come on, big guy.”
“Get your fucking hands off me,” Brian barked, shaking Matt’s grip loose.
Matt flinched, “Bri—”
“Don’t fucking touch me,” Brian reiterated, struggling to find his balance as he climbed to his feet.
Matt reached out to try and steady his drunken brother. To our dismay, Brian took a swing at him. Matt ducked away from Brian’s fist, looking genuinely concerned and confused.
“Dude,” Matt quipped. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Fuck you,” Brian spat, shoving passed Matt and taking off into the sea of people.
Jimmy threw his head back, whining loudly, “Are you kidding me?”
“What the fuck was that about?” Matt asked me specifically.
I knew. I’d watched what Brian had watched. Matt should have known too.
You don’t flirt with the girls that make your friends run away in fear. Those girls are strictly off limits. Shouldn’t that be in the guy code somewhere?
Instead of causing more trouble, I just shrugged. I was determined to plead the fifth.
“I don’t want to chase him around all day,” Jimmy whined, stomping his foot like a four year old. “This is some grade A bullshit.”
“Come on,” I laughed, pulling at Jimmy’s arm. “We have to find him before he drinks himself into an early grave.”
“Should I…” Matt paused. “What do I do?”
“Come with us so I can watch Brian try and hit you again,” Jimmy grinned.
Matt laughed, “Yeah…I’ll stay right here.”
Jimmy, against his will, and I stepped back into the crowd in search for a very drunk Synyster Gates. I knew that, even if we found him, it was going to be a real struggle convincing him to go back to the hotel. So, I hoped that by time we found him, he’d be passed out somewhere.
He was.
He was leaned up against a port-a-potty, an empty cup in his hand, his head resting on his shoulder. Jimmy holstered Brian up, I took Brian’s other side—but was weak and remarkably short compared to them both, so it wasn’t working well. Brian was in and out of consciousness, and would occasionally try to support his own weight.
As we finally made it to the road and hailed ourselves a cab, Brian leaned into Jimmy—who caught him with both arms.
“She’s really fucking pretty,” he slurred at my man. “Shit, huh.”
And he was out.

Notes

Long-winded.

Oh, drunk Brian.

xx