Almost Easy

This had, easily, been one of the worst years of my life. If I really stopped to think about everything that had gone on…It was enough to make a sane person crazy, I think. Maybe that was the key to survival in any life; don’t dwell. Move on.
I was trying but fuck, it wasn’t easy.
It was so much more than a man ripping away my security. I couldn’t help but think that if Tyler had been alive, and with us on the tour, none of it would have ever happened. No way would Ty have let me out of his sights for even a second…especially with a potential suitor sniffing around. I really missed my protector. It’s funny the way you start to long for things you once resented once they’re gone.
I’d reinstated some form of normalcy over the few days following the whole Dave thing…but everyone was still looking at me like a porcelain doll. Austin had absolutely refused to remove the band from the tour. I was outraged but it wasn’t up to me.
We’d all made the collective decision to fire him immediately once we were home. The guys had my back, whether Austin did or not.
Everyone made sure to keep Brian and I away from Dave. Our bands now had very little interaction but in the case of situations like set changes and sound check, everyone was careful about timing. Last I’d seen of Dave, his face was pretty bruised and swollen. Apparently, Brian had broken his nose. I was fucking glad.
We were on our way to Florida, where I was promised we’d get to have at least a little fun. I’d been basically held as a prisoner on the bus during any off-time that we were allotted. Brian was terrified that something else was going to happen. As long as Dave was on the tour, Brian was everywhere I was. Not that I really minded…but it would have been nice to have a day in the sun. What a waste of the North Carolina dates.
“How’s my favourite Blair?” Jimmy asked as he slid into the seat across from me.
I set my novel down on the table, “I’m fine. How’s my favourite Rev?”
“You have more than one?” he asked me sadly.
I rolled my eyes.
“Justin and I were talking,” Jimmy started.
“Of course you were,” I groaned.
He scowled, “Don’t interrupt your lord and master. Anyway, we were talking—”
“Which are you?”
He paused, “Which am I what?”
“Are you the lord or the master?”
“I’m both,” he said seriously.
“But you made it sound like you and Justin were my lord and master…like one was the lord and one was the master.”
“Oh,” he nodded. “I get it. But yeah, I’m both.”
“It wasn’t clear.”
“I get that…but anyway, we were talking and we had an idea.”
Justin and Jimmy had been getting along famously. I was starting to think that Jimmy was never going to leave our tour—everyone had adopted him as part of the family and he was eating it up. He was supposed to have flown home more than a week ago. But here he was, eating my cereal.
“What’s your idea?” I asked despite my better judgment.
He grinned, “So, your manager is a douche that obviously condones rape.”
I cringed at the word. I was lucky in the way that it couldn’t be used to describe what had happened to me…but it could have been. That scared the shit out of me. It took everything I had not to dwell on it every second of every day. Every time Brian touched me without my anticipation… I was trying.
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled.
“We think you should kick them off the tour anyway,” Jimmy concluded happily.
I hesitated before responding. I, in no way, wanted that band anywhere near us. I wanted them turned around and headed back to wherever they came from. Unfortunately, though, Austin had made some fair points when explaining to us why he would not remove them.
“We can’t,” I said finally. “People bought tickets to see them. The seats aren’t just our fans. That’s a real conflict.”
“So let’s figure out how to fix it,” Jimmy shrugged. “Brian’s going to murder that guy, Blair. Seriously. He’s going to stab him in the neck.”
I smiled, “I know.”
“As much as we all really want to see that,” Jimmy continued. “Justin hatched a plan.”
“He hatched it?” I smirked.
Jimmy nodded, “Yes, from an egg.”
“What do you guys get up to when I’m not around?”
Jimmy grinned widely, “Don’t worry about that.”
“What’s this plan?”


“That’s fucking genius,” Brian decided aloud once Justin had pitched the plan to the entire group.
Everyone was in agreement. We sent John to deal with the Austin aspect of it all. I couldn’t wait to fire that son of a bitch. He’d been so dismissive of my issue.
“If he didn’t actually touch you,” he’d said. “I don’t see the problem.”
And that’s the problem with the world. But that’s neither here nor there.
My reality was that Austin was unwilling to help but we’d all made up our minds.
The next morning, our plan was put into motion. We turned up at a local magazine and were ready to pitch a story. It was heavy enough that we knew that they’d run it immediately, but it was also crucial to us that they publish certain details.
“What do you have for me?” Carl asked John, Justin, and I.
Justin took the reins; it was his plan after all.
“I assume you know who we are,” Justin started.
Carl nodded impatiently.
“We’re in the middle of a tour at the moment,” Justin continued.
“I know. You sold out here, no?”
“Yes we did,” Justin answered smugly. “But a certain…situation…has developed.”
“A situation,” Carl repeated slowly.
“I’m going to make you a trade,” Justin grinned. “We’re willing to give you a pretty heavy story.”
“And what do you want in return?” Carl asked. “How much?”
“We don’t need your money,” Justin said. “We just need you to run this immediately. We’ll be hitting up a radio station from here so…its in your best interest to run with it quickly.”
“Our newest publication comes out next week,” Carl said slowly.
Justin looked at us and then back to Carl, “That’s fine.”
From there, we moved onto the radio. This was going to be our immediate impact and I was starting to get really nervous about it.
I knew it had to be done.
The radio host, Benny, welcomed us to his show. Apparently he was a big fan. He showed us four tickets to our show to confirm his seriousness.
“I hear you have an announcement,” Benny said live.
Justin nodded, like anyone could see him, “We’re in the middle of our North American tour at the moment.”
“Right,” Benny answered quickly. “With Still Borne.”
“It’s actually about them,” Justin smirked.
“Come on,” Benny said impatiently. “Tell us!”
Justin looked to me to get the job done. I took a deep breath.
“We’ve decided to change up our tour,” I said as sternly as I could. “We will be removing Still Borne from our tour and finishing the dates on our own.”
“What?” Ben kind of laughed. “That’s a pretty bold move! Dropping a band in the middle of a tour? Can I ask why? And please don’t say creative differences.”
“There’s nothing creative about it,” I said smugly. “They have a member who doesn’t believe consent from women is important. We just cannot support that kind of behaviour. We do not, in any way, want to be affiliated it. They have been removed effective immediately.”
“What?” Ben choked. “Consent from women? Who is your source? That’s a bold accusation.”
“Source?” I scoffed. “The source is me. He tried to force himself on me less than a week ago. Had my bandmates not burst in when they did…It doesn’t matter. The point we’re making is that it is not okay with us and we’re hoping that by releasing this information, albeit not specifics, not only will we get the word out immediately about our tour…but I hope that any fans, or anyone who works with this band in the future, will be aware of this. I don’t want this shit to happen to anyone else.”
Ben looked dumbfounded. I smiled smugly at him.
“We here at Rock 76 totally agree,” he finally mustered. “So what about Still Borne’s fans? Do you think they’ll pose issues at your next dates?”
“I hope not,” I sighed. “I hope that they’ll still come out and support us. We’d love to have them. However, should they feel that they’re not interested in seeing Haven play without Still Borne, we’re happy to issue full refunds. No questions asked.”
And we did. The news went viral right away. Not only because Dave is a fucking pervert, but because it was absolutely uncommon for a band to drop out of a tour before it was even halfway through. Austin was pissed at first but as the outpouring of support for both me and the band began, he was suddenly appeased by the marketing we’d done for him. Still going to fire him though. Fuck that guy.
Still Borne got the news through the media, which we honestly thought was the best way to go. It was deeply satisfying to have their manager yell at my manager. Ultimately, though, it was our tour. They were guests. And now they were going the fuck home.
“Good luck,” Callie said to me.
It was weird to see her sober. I think that was the first time I’d ever seen in. She’d come to our bus specifically to speak with me.
“Look,” she sighed, “I’m really sorry about what happened. Dave’s been a little…grabby with me…before. I honestly never would have thought…Just know that we’re all really fucking sorry.”
“Thanks,” I replied coldly. “You can go now.”
And then we were on our own.
“Call Avenged,” Jimmy suggested from the couch, tossing a ball up into the air and catching it—for over an hour he’d been doing this.
Like a cat on drugs.
“For what?” I asked seriously.
He shrugged, “Tell them to come play at a couple shows. Soften the blow. Give me something to do.”
“You’re not even supposed to be here,” I laughed.
“But I am here and I’m bored,” he replied.
“We don’t need another band,” I groaned.
John sighed.
“What?” Justin asked him.
“I just think…I mean, it’s not a bad idea,” he said awkwardly. “I don’t mean for every show, that’s ridiculous. But it might be nice to have a second band for the bigger venues. We don’t have a crazy setlist.”
“We’re not asking any more favors from Avenged Sevenfold,” I stated firmly.
Chris sighed then. I rolled my eyes. Clearly there was a mutiny at hand.
“They’ll totally do it,” Jimmy sang. “I’ll tell them they have to.”
“No,” I maintained.
Chris interjected, “Blair, it’s a good idea. It doesn’t hurt to ask. We have a venue of 8,000 coming up next week. We can’t appease a crowd that big, B. It just isn’t going to happen.”
“We’ve added covers,” Justin argued. “It’s beefed up our set list.”
“It isn’t enough,” Chris said again. “I’m just saying.”
“We’re not asking Avenged Sevenfold!” I said again, much louder this time. “Are you guys all fucking deaf or what?”
“What aren’t we asking Avenged Sevenfold?” Brian asked curiously as he finally emerged from the bathroom.
The man took the world’s longest showers.
“Nothing,” I groaned.
“We want to ask them to play at a couple of our big shows,” John told Brian.
I sent a warning look in John’s direction. He totally ignored me.
“They’ll totally do it,” Brian shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and sliding into the seat beside me.
“That’s what I told her!” Jimmy shouted excitedly.
Brian looked to me, “What’s your problem with it?”
“I don’t have a problem,” I sighed. “You guys have done enough saving us for the next lifetime. We don’t need to ask any more favors.”
“We like to play,” Brian shrugged. “This guy’s so bored that he’s playing fucking catch with himself.”
Jimmy looked offended.
“You’re going to play two full sets?” I asked Brian with one eyebrow raised. “You’re good but I doubt you’re that good.”
“Babe,” Brian laughed smugly. “I’ve been playing with the guys forever. It’s like taking a walk. I can handle it.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I huffed. “We’re not asking them.”
“Hey Matty!” Jimmy called loudly into his cell phone. “Blair specifically has a favor to ask of you.”
I gasped, “Fuck you!”
He smirked.
Brian kissed the side of my head, “How are we today?”
“I’m fine,” I whined. I was so fucking tired of people asking me that.
“Yeah, ya are,” he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“Okay,” Jimmy called to us, covering the phone, “They’re in. They said just tell them where and when and the Berry’s will take care of it. Johnny said there better be free beer.”
Despite my resistance, which again didn’t matter to anyone, apparently yet another favor had been called in. I was trying to be happy and excited but I was so fucking annoyed. Why did men never listen to me? I figured I was still reeling from what had happened. Obviously it had created a nerve that didn’t exist before. I tried not to let it become a thing. The last thing I wanted was for anything that sick fuck did to change who I was. But maybe it already had. I wasn’t sure yet.
“We’re going to owe them a kidney by the end of this tour,” Justin said to me with a smirk.
I nodded, “A kidney for each member.”
“But they have five…there’s only four of us.”
“Guess someone’s giving two kidneys,” I replied quietly. “I vote you.”
“I vote Chris!” Justin argued with a grin.
I considered this and finally nodded, “Yeah, alright. Chris donates both kidneys and we hire two new guitarists.”
With all of our kidneys spoken for, we were down a band for the tour and up a band for big shows. I didn’t care about fucking any of it. Maybe this had fucked me up more than I thought.
I was determined not to let it fuck me up any further. I was taking that power back.

Notes

xx