When I Was Your Man

The clock struck three. Matt was pacing his room like a tiger in a cage. The longer he waited for her return, the more anxious he got. There was a storm outside. There were no street lamps, and she had been gone for almost two hours. She had to return at some point, right?

Matt did not dare think about the possibility that something might have happened to her. This was no horror movie, after all. There were no chainsaw murderers running around Big Bear, all ready to kill someone. Although, Matt had to admit, the storm really fit the horror movie mood.

He did not plan to talk to her. Not tonight. After all, that was her wish. But he did want to wait, just to hear her return from the woods. He was almost desperate to hear her slamming the door shut, and then walk up the creaking stairs.

Shit, I’m going fucking insane. For a second, Matt debated whether or not to give her a call. He didn’t want to seem desperate. But where is she? He pulled out his phone nevertheless, then switched off airplane mode. It surprised him that it still worked after he threw it against the wall in the afternoon. Those things usually broke when you dropped them from your knee height. Maybe she called me already…

But there were no missed calls. He placed the device on the nightstand again, then went back to pacing his room. The alarm clock on his nightstand displayed 3:15 am. Alright, that’s it. I need to call her, he decided.

It rang. Three times. Four times. Five times. A robotic voice told Matt to fuck off, basically. Well, that was not exactly what it said. It said “the person you are calling is not available at present.“
Fuck. I don’t even know…

Suddenly, it started to vibrate. Matt didn’t even have to look at the display to know it was her. “Hello?“ He screamed into the phone. Static noise was audible. Over that, a very weak voice.
“Karma? I can’t hear you! Everything alright? I just wanted to check…“

Nothing. Just white noise. Fuck. He turned up the phone’s volume. A few words could be made out.
“… ankle … hurt … inaudible sounds … Matt? …“ He couldn’t make out any more of what she was saying.

“Text me,“ he said, hoping she’d understand. He hung up the phone and sent her a quick text.
It didn’t sound good. He banged his fist against the wall for letting her go out in the storm. I could have made her stay, couldn’t I? Suddenly, he received a text.

From: Karma
I’m hurt. Please come. I’m by the oak trees behind the house Brian wanted to buy. Battery’s running down quickly.

Fuck. She walked far. The house Brian wanted to buy a couple of years ago was over 3 miles away from Matt’s. As far as he knew, it was not inhabited now. Matt quickly threw on his jeans and and a pullover, then grabbed a blanket for Karma.

Putting a cap on his head and an old coat around his body, he left the house. The rain was pouring down. Soon, his clothes were soaked, but Matt didn’t dare complain. He had a girl to save. A girl he endangered himself.

He wanted to beat himself to pulp for justifying his terrible act. Karma’s behavior shouldn’t have guided him into the arms of another woman, after all. He should have focused more on her, and he should have helped her overcome those issues. Then, naturally, she would have been ready to be touched again at some point.

I chose the easy way out and I still blamed her, he sighed to himself. Never in the past years had he found jogging so easy. Usually he felt like an old man minutes after he started. Either his knees creaked or his lung felt dry or anything else. This time, it felt revitalizing in a way. He went faster than usual and it didn’t tire him out at all. He lost track of time, but he felt like he’d been only jogging for mere minutes when he arrived at the house.

It was dark, and some of the shutters were hanging down lopsided, and when the wind came they made an eerie sound. Goosebumps covered Matt's cold body, but he was sweating at the same time.

“Karma?“ He called out, then raised his voice some more. “Karma, it’s me, Matt!“ The sound of the raindrops falling onto the roof of the house and the rolling thunder were the only sounds he could make out.

Then, a faint voice. It was strong enough for Matt to hear where it came from. He walked some more steps into the backyard of the house. The voice grew louder as he walked.
And then he saw her.

She was lying on the ground with her ankle twisted. It was somehow caught up in the cellar window, where she apparently tried to break in to shelter from the rain. Splinters of glass and a lot of blood covered her foot, and her bloody shoe had fallen down the window.

“Matt?“
God damn it.
“Yeah, I’m here. I’ll get you home safe.“
“You always did.“

Matt smiled for a second, then kneeled down on the ground. He fumbled with her foot for a second, earning whimpers. It was caught between two large pieces of the glass which were still firmly connected with the frame. He knew he’d have to break the glass even more to get it out without hurting her too much.

Shit.

He braced himself for the sharp pain he would be experiencing. I wish I had gloves or something, he thought with a frown. Alright, I’ve done worse on acid. It’s just a little cut. It’s just a little cut! Just a little cut, he kept telling himself as he grabbed the upper piece of glass.
Just a little cut…

“Ah fucking shit,“ he cursed out as he felt a burning sensation on his right hand. Anger surfaced in him, anger at her, at himself, at the goddamned window. “I swear if this is not getting me laid…“ he muttered under his breath.

Karma’s pale purple lips curled into a smile for a second. “That’s such a Matt-thing to say.“ He took all his strength and pushed the glass inside. He cut everywhere in his palm and around his fingers, but it broke. Karma’s foot was free.

“Let’s get you home,“ he said as he scooped her up into his arms. He threw the blanket on the ground, deciding not to use it. It was soaked anyway. As he walked, he thought back to the first day he experienced those feelings toward her. It was so long ago.


She just stood there in Matt’s parents’ garage and sang. Her voice was so much stronger than you’d think, seeing as she was just the small frame of a human being, standing there in jeans shorts with the cover for Guns n’ Roses’ Appetite For Destruction sewed on in the front.

“Come on dude, she’s fantastic,“ he heard Zack say to Jimmy in the back, and he was right. “But… we said we’re an all-guy band!“ Jimmy protested, and from the look in his eyes Matt could tell he wanted Karma as much as all the others did.

“I can be a guy for you, Jimmy!“ She said with a grin, “I promise I’ll drink beer with you and I won’t sit down to pee. I’m a great guy as long as you’re not into penis sword fights or something… And even if you are, I’ll just use a cucumber or something…“

Jimmy laughed. “Approved! A thousand times approved!“ Matt felt a happiness spread inside his chest. Was it because he thought she was such an enrichment to the band? Was it because he thought so much more about her than Val at this moment? He didn’t want to think about it.

“Alright but no-one, and I fucking mean that,“ Brian said with a stern look, “gets to tuck their cucumber into her pussy, are we clear? We’re a band now, and you don’t fuck the company.“
They all nodded, and Matt felt somewhat bummed. I have Val, he told himself, so what else do I need…? Deep inside he knew he was wrong. It bugged him. But they were a band, so he’d have to swallow it down somehow…


Yeah, you’ll see how this worked, Matt thought to himself with a grin. He stepped onto the porch, then fumbled with his keys while balancing Karma’s weight on one arm and a knee. He opened the door and immediately carried her to the bathroom.

Karma helped him strip her down to his underwear, and he did, too. He respected she didn’t want anything to happen until she was clearer in the head, and he decided not to make her feel like he was taking advantage of the situation.

They quickly warmed up under the shower and Matt removed some splinters from her foot and wrapped it in a thick bandage. The next day, he’d drive her downtown to get it checked out as soon as the guys returned with the car. He gave her a t-shirt and boxers, then tucked her in. It felt nice to take care of her.

“You know,“ he said lowly, “I’m not gonna give up so easily.“
Her lips formed a faint smile. “And you shouldn’t.“

She then grinned. “Now about that getting laid you mentioned earlier…?“
She can’t be serious. “I think you should get some rest. And I promised you not tonight, I stick to my promises, you know.“

Karma pretended to pout. “Alright. Good night handsome, and thanks so much.“
“I wish I could have saved you earlier,“ he responded, and they both knew what he meant. He left the room with an uncertain feeling.

Notes

Hello my loves! I'm back <3 hope you like the new chapter :)