***Zack’s POV***

I drove the interstate back down to Huntington Beach, trying to drown my thoughts of the previous 24 hours with loud music. The breeze blowing through the car with The Murder City Devils cranked. Should be a recipe for a perfect day and clear mind, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

I pulled into Brian’s driveway about an hour later, not wanting to practice at all. But being a new band and all, we needed practice and more practice. I walked straight into the open garage, guitar case in hand. Brian and Matt were sitting on the couch, tormenting Johnny, who was sitting on the floor. Jimmy was behind his drum set, eagerly awaiting practice to start.

“‘Bout damn time you showed up, Baker! Where you been? I stopped by your house to see if you wanted to ride with me. Zina said you were in LA,” Jimmy shouted over the Pantera on the stereo. Brian leaned over and turned the music down before I could reply.

“Yeah, CJ’s mom wanted me to take her to the airport,” I said dully, knowing any extra excitement could tip them off. I set down my guitar and opened the case. The guys exchanged looks and looked back at me, smirks on all of their faces. I stood up and turned back to all of them.

“Can we get this started? I didn’t drive over here for nothing when I could be sleeping,” I put my guitar strap over my shoulder and began tuning. After the guys slight surprise, they all rose up. Matt grabs the microphone, warming up his voice. Brian and Johnny strap on their gear and Jimmy plays simple little beats to warm up his muscles.

---

Two hours later, it feels like my fingers and my right forearm are going to fall off. I take my guitar off and set my guitar in the case. I grab a beer out of the fridge and plop on the couch. The guys continue messing around, joking and laughing with each other. I can’t help but sit there and think about CJ.

Fuck, I miss her and it hasn’t even been a day. Half the time, I look at her as one of the guys. But the other half, I can’t keep my eyes off of her. She’s beautiful, there’s no doubting that. But there’s a line between “yeah, she’s my sister and she’s beautiful” and “yeah, she’s beautiful and I wanna fuck her.” Well...maybe for some people, there’s no difference. Ha, incest jokes.

“Baker!” I look up to see all the guys staring at me. “What’s up with you today?” Matt asked, sitting down on the couch next to me.

“What, you and Cailey go at it all night?” Johnny made a humping motion. It was almost true, besides the all night part. I was drunk, I could never have lasted all night. But despite the truth behind it, I got incredibly defensive.

“What the fuck? No! She’s like a sister. Plus, I heard she’s been around lately,” I say, picking at the Bud Light sticker on my bottle. Jimmy snickered.

“I believe it. With a body like that, she could have anyone she wanted like that,” he snapped his fingers. Defensiveness transitioned into jealousy at Jimmy’s comment.

“Guys, CJ isn’t like that and everyone knows it. Especially you, Zack,” Matt looked at me, like he knew something I wasn’t coming clean with yet. “Hell, I dated her and she would hardly ever sleep with me. But when she did, woo boy,” Matt shook his head and leaned back on the couch.

I suddenly felt incredibly dirty and disgusting, knowing I’d had Matt’s sloppy seconds. It wasn’t the first time I’d slept with a girl after Matt, but this time felt different. Before I could get any deeper in my thoughts, I heard a honk from the driveway. Matt looked at the clock and jumped up.

“That’s my ride. See ya later guys,” Matt waved as he walked out the garage. Jimmy and Johnny got up in unison as Matt walked down the driveway.

“We’re gonna head out too, I’ve got a date with a new Metallica record,” Johnny rubbed his hands together excitedly. Jimmy snickered and waved as they both left. Brian sat on a stool across from the couch, sipping a beer. I continued picking at the sticker.

“You sure you’re alright, man? You’re acting weird today,” Brian continued to pry. I sighed deeply, trying to decide which way to go. Tell him I’m fine, not that this girl everyone knows and loves now has this death grip on my heart. Or spill the beans and tell him I slept with Matt’s ex.

“Shit dude, I don’t know. I just feel different today,” I confided in him.

“Different as in what?” Brian’s interest grew. I sighed, knowing I had to tell him.

“CJ and I had sex last night. Really drunken sex, and I kind of regret it,” I finally let out. Brian sat there for a moment and processed it.

“You regret the actual sex or the circumstances it was under?” he questioned.

“That’s the thing, I don’t really know. I’ve been so consistent with the she’s my best friend thing, I can’t just go and change my mind. Plus, I don’t think either of us were in our right minds. We were pretty fucked up,” I continued.

“Sure, you can change your mind. People fall in love with their best friend all the time. Just look at Matt and Val. After he had his fun with everyone else, he knew who he belonged with,” Brian comforted me. He was right, that did happen often.

“But there’s something else..” I cleared my throat. “I told her I loved her,” I let my head drop.

“Did you mean it?”

“I don’t know.” I truly didn’t know how I meant, or if I meant it. Did I love her as a friend? Absolutely. Did I love her like a girlfriend? I’m not sure.

“Well, you know what, fuck it. Forget about all this shit. Let’s go to Matt’s tonight and get trashed,” Brian sat down on the couch next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

“Nothing a little Jack can’t fix, right?” I pulled my mouth into a smile.

Notes

Hi all! These next couple of chapters are going to be delving into the mind of none other than Zachary Baker. I decided to split this originally very very long chapter into two smaller chapters. Hopefully it won't take me months to update again. :-)

As always, thank you very much for sticking it out with me. Comment, subscribe. All is appreciated. Also, go check out the new chapter of my newest story The Stage!

Title credit: Jesse McCartney "Beautiful Soul" (had to throw it back to middle school lmao.)