The Way Your Heart Sounds

Although Jimmy’s condition had stabilized tremendously compared to last night, he was still experiencing terrible withdrawal symptoms. It was just as bad as when he was going through detox the first time, perhaps a bit worse. He refused all visitors, including his parents, the guys, and Dr. Kramer. Lauren didn’t know what to do. She kept trying to talk to him throughout the day, but he would rarely respond.

Once the next night rolled around, they were sitting quietly like they had all day, when Jimmy suddenly spoke.

“You should have left me there,” he said. Lauren was shocked to hear him speak, so she looked over at him.

“What do you mean, Jimmy?”

“When you found me.”

Lauren’s heart sank as she observed him. He looked so broken, so sad. She wasn’t used to this, she was used to the fun, over the top guy who would do anything just to make someone laugh. Now he was breaking her heart.

“Did you try to kill yourself?” she asked quietly.

“No,” he replied quickly. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but that wasn’t my intention.”

“I want to believe you, I do.. But fiction? The way you were acting the past few days? The fact that you were using drugs again even when you knew this would be a likely result? I don’t know. It just all seems to add up to that for me,” Lauren said, after taking a moment to collect her thoughts.

“I knew you’d be angry.”

Lauren furrowed her brows as she looked at him. Nothing in the tone of her voice indicated anger in any way. She wasn’t sure what was going through his mind right now, and that scared her. She was always able to tell what was up with him, but now? Nothing. She had no clue.

“Honey, I’m not angry. I care about you. I love you. I want you to be happy and healthy.”

“You’re better off without me,” he mumbled. Lauren was at a loss for words. She stumbled over words as she tried to reply, and told him that wasn’t true at all.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” she asked. He took a few moments to respond.

“You should go,” he said coldly. Tears sprung to Lauren’s eyes. She had never heard him speak like that before, especially not to her. When she didn’t reply, he turned towards her and looked at her with an equally cold stare.

“Go,” he growled.

Lauren didn’t need to be told again. The tears finally fell once she left the room, and she quickly paced down the hallway. She needed to be out of here as soon as possible. As she was walking down the hall, trying to conceal her tears, she ran straight into Dr. Kramer. When he looked at her, he had a confused look on his face. He gently put his hands on her arms.

“What’s the matter? I was just about to go see him,” the doctor said quietly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sniffed. “He was so harsh and cold towards me just now, I’ve never seen anything like that from him.” The doctor frowned and pulled her in for a hug.

“I’m so sorry. I have no idea what’s going through his head, but I’m going to try and go reason with him. Don’t take it personally, Lauren. He’s probably just lashing out because he’s frustrated. Go home and try to get some rest, okay?”

Lauren wiped her face and nodded. The doctor gave her a reassuring smile, and walked down the hall towards Jimmy’s room. She sighed as she made her way out of the hospital and to her car. She hadn’t been home since Jimmy was admitted, and she could definitely use a shower and a nap. Maybe it would be better for her to spend some time away from him, since he didn’t seem to want to see her anyway. She fought tears during the entire drive home. Just a few days ago, everything was absolutely perfect, and now it had all gone to shit so quickly.

Once she got home, she made her way inside, and it felt different now. She set her bag down on the couch when she saw something shiny on the floor. As she bent down to pick it up, she noticed it was Jimmy’s favorite cross necklace. It must have gotten torn off that night. She stored it in her pocket, and went to the bedroom to lay down. As soon as she rested her head, the phone started to ring. She groaned as she picked it up, and saw it was Brian. As much as she didn’t want to talk right now, she didn’t want to worry him by not picking up.

“Hey Bri,” she mumbled.

“Hey. How’s he doing?” Brian’s soft voice came through the speaker.

“The same, more or less... He was so mean and cold towards me before,” she said quietly.

“Mean?” Brian asked, in disbelief.

“He told me to leave.” She heard Brian sigh on the other line.

“I have no idea what’s happening with him,” he said, sounding defeated.

“Me either. I’m going to go now. I really need to lay down, my head is killing me,” she replied.

“Yeah, no problem. Feel better.”

Her head was pounding, and she desperately needed to relax. She threw her phone onto the bedside table and buried her head into the pillow, trying to forget about everything that had been happening.

She woke up a little while later to her cell phone ringing. She spent a few seconds trying to wake up, not even realizing she had fell asleep with her shoes and coat still on. After blinking a few times, she reached over and grabbed her phone. It was Dr. Kramer.

“Hello?” she said.

“Lauren, I have some bad news…” Lauren felt a lump forming in her throat. What more bad news could someone possibly give her right now?

“They just told me that Jimmy signed himself out of the hospital AMA. He’s gone, and I have no idea where he went.”

Notes

So, where do you guys think Jimmy went?!

Also, I'm currently working on a Jimmy related short story, so expect to see that up in the next week or two. :)