The Way Your Heart Sounds

As Lauren lifted her head off of Brian’s now tear-stained shirt, she heard her name being called and immediately whipped around. She knew that voice anywhere. She darted into the room Jimmy was being held in, and was stopped by one of the doctors.

“We gave him two doses of Narcan and he just woke up, he’s having violent withdrawal symptoms. We’re trying to orient him and keep him calm.”

When she made eye contact with Jimmy, she saw that he was crying, and his whole body was shaking like he was freezing. There was a doctor trying to talk to him, and a nurse who was giving him something through the IV, but Jimmy was only staring at Lauren. She felt chills go down her spine when she looked into his eyes, but quickly snapped out of it and walked over to him.

“I’m scared,” he whimpered.

“I know sweetie, but you’re okay, you’re in the hospital and everyone is taking good care of you, okay?” Lauren felt her eyes fill with tears again as she rubbed both his arms. She was so happy to see him awake, but she was also incredibly angry and sad. She honestly didn’t know what to feel right now. He had been hooked up to a continuous heart monitor, and had an IV running. His body continued to tremble, and he shut his eyes tightly.

“Not here…Not here..” he repeated, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“Do you want Brian to come in?” she asked. She thought maybe seeing him would help comfort Jimmy and bring him back to Earth a little bit. He still seemed pretty out of it. Jimmy just shook his head, and continued to keep his eyes closed.

It took quite a while for him to stop violently shaking, and his body was exhausted afterwards. He quickly drifted off into sleep, which Lauren was kind of thankful for. It was hard to watch him in such distress. Sighing, she stepped out of the room for a minute to see Brian and Dr. Kramer still waiting patiently, except they had also now been joined by Matt and Zacky.

“Is he awake? Is he okay?” Brian asked quickly.

“He did wake up, but he’s asleep again. The doctors were right, he overdosed.”

The group was silent. Matt and Zacky looked like they had been punched in the stomach, while Dr. Kramer looked down at his shoes and shook his head.

“He was having nasty withdrawal symptoms. They’re keeping a good eye on his heart though,” Lauren said quietly. She took a seat and sighed deeply. Zacky put a hand on her shoulder.

“Whatever you guys need, we’re here for you,” he said. Lauren nodded and thanked him.

“You guys can probably go home. I’ll keep you in the loop,” she said. Zacky and Matt both went home, saying they’d be back in the morning. Dr. Kramer also left to go back to work, and promised to return at the end of his shift. Brian stayed with Lauren and refused to leave the entire night.

“I kind of feel partially responsible for this,” he said suddenly. It was now about six in the morning, and the hospital was starting to buzz with shift change. Nurses were in the hallways with their clipboards getting report from the night shift.

“Why?”

“We used to do drugs together all the time. I knew he used to get out of hand. When he got sober, I thought all of this was behind us. I never thought this would happen, and I feel like a shitty friend.” She looked over and noticed Brian was wiping at his eyes. She put an arm around his shoulders.

“Jimmy’s an adult, Bri. He makes his own choices, as much as we try to influence him either way. Don’t blame yourself for what happened,” she said.

Their conversation was interrupted when a young nurse came up to where they were sitting in the waiting area. She must be the new nurse that came on after shift change.

“Are you Mr. Sullivan’s wife?” she asked. Lauren nodded. “We just transferred him upstairs. He’s awake, and he’s asking to see you.”

When Lauren stepped into the new room Jimmy had been transferred to, she saw him curled up in bed, facing the window. When he heard footsteps, he turned his long neck around. He quickly sat up in bed once he saw her. She smiled softly and came over to sit down next to him.

“You scared the living shit out of me last night,” she said, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing tightly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“How are you feeling?” She already knew the answer, judging by his paleness and the prominent dark bags under his eyes. He shrugged, but didn’t say much else. She was dying to ask him about a million questions, but she didn’t want to overwhelm or upset him right now.

“Is anyone here?” he asked.

“Brian’s here. The guys, your parents, and Dr. Kramer are going to stop by sometime this morning too. Do you want me to get Brian?” Jimmy nodded. She told him to hang tight, and walked down to the waiting room.

“How’s he doing?” Brian asked.

“Okay, I think. Better than yesterday. He wants to see you.”

Brian nodded in response, and followed Lauren upstairs to Jimmy’s room. He walked in and managed to smile when he saw his friend, although Jimmy didn’t return the smile.

“Man am I glad to see you awake,” Brian laughed weakly, patting Jimmy on the shoulder. Jimmy still didn’t respond, and was unusually quiet. Brian looked over at Lauren, silently asking her what to do.

“Do you want to be alone, Jimmy? I thought you wanted to say hi to Brian,” she said, looking over at him.

“I’m sorry,” was all Jimmy responded with.

“No need to be sorry, sweetie. Do you want us to leave you alone for a bit?” Jimmy looked down at the floor, but didn’t answer. Lauren continued to try and get something out of him. Brian quickly excused himself and stepped out.

“I don’t want to see anyone right now,” Jimmy said. Lauren frowned. She had never seen him like this. He never denied an opportunity to see one of the guys.

“I get that. But he cares about you so much, he just wants to know you’re okay,” Lauren replied. She wanted to go find Brian and see if he was okay after leaving so suddenly, but she couldn’t leave Jimmy right now.

When Jimmy failed to respond again, she sighed and told him she’d be right back. She walked out into the hall and saw Brian sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. She went over to him to ask if he was okay, and he looked up at her while he wiped tears away from his face.

“I’ve never seen him like that before,” Brian said.

“Me either. But like you said, he’ll pull out of this, he’s a strong guy,” Lauren reassured him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m going to go home. Michelle is worried as hell. Please call me if anything changes or if you need me, okay?”

Lauren nodded and told Brian it was fine for him to go home. She gave him a hug before he left, and then went back into Jimmy’s room. He was staring out the window again.

“Are you going to talk to me?” Lauren asked. She was trying to be as therapeutic as possible, but it was becoming difficult. When he shook his head, she sighed again and took a seat next to the bed. She wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

Notes

What's everyone thinking? Is this what you were expecting? Thanks so much for reading! I'll try to keep updates frequent (every few days or so).