Brian's POV
Penny called me every day. I made excuses why I couldn't talk. She could tell something wasn't right, I just kept telling her it was nothing.
"Hi Junior"
"Hi Penny"
"Are you okay? You sound like something is wrong." She asked.
"Nope, I'm fine, I'll see you tomorrow." I was trying to cut the call short.
"Okay. I love you."
"Love you too, bye" I said quickly.

It was a very quiet drive to Michigan. I barely spoke to her and she seemed preoccupied.
We got settled into our suite and I just couldn't even stand to speak to her.
"Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?" She had the nerve to ask me.
"I don't know Penny, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?" She seemed very nervous.
She wanted to know what I was talking about and I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Tell me about your trips Penny, because you haven't started a single painting. How about the suites for two while traveling all over the world?"
"How do you know that? Have you been spying on me?"
"So you're not denying it! Who is he? Well you can tell him that I know, he obviously wanted you to tell me!"
"He who? What are you talking about?" She faked looking surprised.
"I heard you on the phone on my birthday. You were on the phone with your lover. 'Just one more trip and I'll tell him' you said. So you've went on another trip. So who is this guy your fucking?"
"I'm not fucking anyone! I was on the phone with Gwyn. I can't believe you really thought I was cheating on you!"
"Really? Gwyn? You expect me to believe that? Just like you were with Gwyn for a whole week while she had book signings in Florida? But really on those dates you went to Switzerland!" I could not believe she was going to keep denying it.
"I don't believe this! What did you do, get into my iPad?"
"Yes I did! I know everywhere you actually went and that you weren't alone."
"Okay Sherlock, did you notice they were 2 bedroom suites?" I could tell she was pissed but also on the verge of tears. I was too angry at that moment to even care. "I told you, I was with Gwyn."
"Maybe I should call Gwyn right now and ask her. Oh wait, you obviously have her lying for you. I can't believe she is part of this. Are you going to tell me the truth or stand there and keep lying to me?"
"Brian, I didn't want to do this here. I wanted us to have a good weekend."
"Well too fucking late Penny! Either you tell me the truth right now or I am walking out that door forever! I have had it with this bullshit."
Her face was now red with anger. "Okay, you want the truth?"
"Yes Damn it!"
"I'm sick and there is nothing that anyone can do. I'm dying! That's no BULLSHIT!"
I stood there stunned.
"What?" Was all I could manage to say.
"I am sick. All the trips were in hopes that I could find a Doctor or hospital that could help me. I didn't want to tell you until I knew for sure." Tears had started to well up in her eyes.
I physically staggered back. "This can't be, that's not true."
"I wish it weren't true." I could tell by the look on her face that it was true.
I was even more angry now, how could she have kept this from me? "How long have you known?"
"I found out at the end of May when I went for my yearly exam."
"So you've known for nearly two months and you didn't tell me?"
"I wanted to tell you that there was at least hope."
"So you went to all these places all over the world, without me? Your husband. Aren't we supposed to be there for each other in sickness and in health?"
"Bri, please try to understand." She had tears rolling down her cheeks. I had turned off all emotion but anger.
"How long did they say?"
"Please don't be angry."
"I'm sorry, but you chose to be away from me when we should have been together. How long Penny?" I knew I was just spewing out raw anger, but I couldn't hold it back.
"They say 6 to 8 months. I understand if you don't want to stay. I will give you a divorce, so you don't have to go through this with me." She started crying harder.
"I can't believe you would even say that to me, Penny! Do you think I am that shallow? I took our vows seriously. When I said till death do us part, I meant it. It hurts me that you don't believe in me."
"I didn't mean it that way." She walked to me and put her arms around my waist putting her head on my shoulder. "I need you."
I wrapped my arms around her, "Why didn't you need me a month ago?" I was so conflicted at that point, I didn't know whether to hold her tight, yell, cry, scream or punch something. I did know I needed to get out of there. I pushed her away and said "I have to take a walk."
"Brian, please don't go."
"I have to clear my head. I need to be alone. You have had over a month to grasp this and you did it on your own, I need some time on my own right now to do the same. I'll be back later, I promise." I kissed her forehead. "I love you."

I left the room and ran to the elevator, I got in and started down then stopped and got off at the next floor. I needed to walk, so I went down the stairwell instead. I stopped at the next landing and cursed God. "Why God damn it! First Jimmy, now Penny! Why did I even have the chance to fall in love with her just to lose her too?!" I walked down to the Casino floor and could hear the sound of the woman going ape shit on a slot machine and I remembered saving her from being kicked out. I went to the VIP lounge and sat at the table where we sat and told each other about our lives. I heard her voice as she started to leave because of the girls that insulted her. I remembered asking her to stay and taking a walk together. I heard her laughter as we took a walk and sat under the stars. It all played before me as I sat there, her moving away from me and I wouldn't let her get away that easy. Making out like teenagers, before going up to my suite.
As I sat in that bar it all came flooding back, her hesitation and how I got her past what held her back from me. I remembered that incredible night, where in a matter of hours I fell in love with her. I recalled all the discussions and arguments we had about being together all the time, making our relationship public and getting married. She didn't want to hurt my career or hold me back from having the possibility of meeting someone younger and starting a family. I knew that she also was afraid of a Jay repeat. It wasn't until later that I understood Merlin's impact on her.
Why did I let her hold us back from being together? Why couldn't I convince her? Why did I accept no as an answer? We lost so much time together that first year hiding from the public.
It was here that I proposed to her and she accepted. For a while, I thought that day would never come. I remembered how beautiful she looked the day she became my wife.
Suddenly it was clear to me, I knew that I had been wrong to yell at her like I did. She was scared and did what she thought was best for me. I went back up to our suite and she wasn't there, her suitcase was still there so she was still at the Casino. I knew where she probably was, I grabbed a blanket and her jacket and went after her.

I went outside to our spot. She was there, her head down on her knees and she was crying.
I put her jacket over her shoulders. I must have surprised her, she looked up at me.
I gestured next to her. "Is this seat taken?"
"I'm saving it for my husband. I'm not sure he'll ever want to sit next to me again."
I sat down and put my arm around her. "Of course I do. I will be right beside you until..."
I couldn't finish the sentence. I put the blanket across both of us.
"I'm sorry Brian, I did the wrong thing. I was just trying to do what was best for you. I did need you, I needed you so much." She said.
"Do you understand now that it wasn't what was best for either one of us?"
"Yes I do. Please don't be mad at Gwyn either, she tried to tell me."
"I'm not mad at her, I know what a stubborn person you can be. She was a good friend to be with you through that." I said.
"So where do we go from here?" She asked.
"I am going take you to the best doctor's in the world. We will find one that can help you.".
"Brian, I've been to the top Doctor's and they all agree. There is nothing they can do. If it had been discovered even two months earlier, the prognosis would have been different. I've at least got time to care of things, say my goodbyes. They said it will be a very gradual decline."
"I don't accept that and I won't. They are wrong!" I couldn't help but cry. "You're not going to die. Screw the so called top Doctors. We will find every possible cure. We will find a way!"
She moved over to face me. "I don't want to become a guinea pig for possibly the next medical breakthrough. I want to live the rest of my days to the fullest I can, with dignity and happiness. I want to live life as long as I can with you in our homes, not in hospitals. It's a lot to ask and eventually I won't be able to travel with you and at the end I will need someone to take care of me."
I grabbed her and hugged her tight. "Penz, I will be right there and we will cherish and share every moment together. I just want us to be together." We kissed. "Do you want to head back up to the room and get some rest? You look tired."
"Is it okay if we stay out here for a while?" She asked. "This will be our last time here together." I started to cry and so did she. We both just held on to each other tight.
"We have tonight, that's what matters right now." I said through my tears. "Turn around and lean back against me." She turned around and I wrapped my arms around her. She leaned her head back against my shoulder and we just quietly looked up at the night sky.
"I'm sorry I accused you of having an affair." I said after about 5 minutes.
"It's ok, I understand how it could have looked that way. This is not how I planned to tell you, I wanted us to enjoy our last anniversary together."
Her words "our last anniversary together" stabbed at my heart. This is going to one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Merlin was an enemy I could save her from, this wasn't.
As I sat their holding her under the stars in the moonlight, I thought about the last several months and it all suddenly made sense. The weight loss, the pool incident, crying when I told her I never wanted to leave her, the headaches, falling asleep in her studio and not wanting to book the cruise. If only I had pushed her to go to the doctor earlier. I had been too wrapped up in getting back to work after the accident and I didn't see it. I kissed the top of her head and just breathed in her scent, I never wanted to forget how beautiful she smelled. Then I realized she had not spoken for a while. "Penny?" She didn't answer, it scared me. "Penny!" I woke her with a start.
"Wha, What happened?"
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't realize you were asleep. Why don't we go back to the room and get some sleep? Do you need me to carry you back to the hotel?"
"Brian, please don't treat me like an invalid yet."

The next morning, I woke up hoping it was all just a bad dream, but I knew it wasn't. She was sleeping peacefully. I thought I would be waking up with her beside me for many years, now I have less than a year left. I didn't want to wake her up and I needed to talk to someone. We decided last night that we would tell everyone in Ohio when we got back from Michigan and then go tell everyone in California. I at least had to call Matt.
"Hi Matt"
"Hey man, what happened? Is she cheating on you?"
"No, it's way worse than that."
"What could be worse than that?" He asked.
"The trips she's been taking were to see Doctors and the person on the phone was Gwyn, she was going with her."
"To see Doctors? Why?"
"She's sick. She only has 6-8 months to live." The other end of the line was silent. "Matt, did you hear me? Are you there?"
"Oh shit Brian, I don't know what to say. There isn't anything they can do?
"She says they can't, but I plan to get more opinions."
"We're here for both of you. Penny is part of our family."
"I am going to have to take a break from the band. I have to be with her."
"Understood." He said
"Penny said they told her if she had been diagnosed even two months earlier, they could have done something. It's my fault Matt, I should have seen it and made her go to the Doctor as soon as I saw how she had lost weight. I was too wrapped up in getting back to everything after the accident."
"Brian, you can't blame yourself. You didn't know."
Matt and I talked for a while. It helped to talk to someone.
When I went back up to the room, she was still asleep, I crawled back into bed with her. I must have woken her up.
"Bri, I'm scared." She said.
"I know baby." I had no idea what to say. "I'm going to be here with you."

Notes