Brian's POV
I could hear Penny cry and her talking to me, but not what she said. I wanted so much to open my eyes and tell her it was okay, but I couldn't.
I saw a white light ahead of me and I was drawn to it. Jimmy was there and he told me to fight to go back.
"It's not your time yet."
"But..." I said.
"Penny is going to need you more than ever. Don't worry, I'll be waiting here."

I ran away from the light for what seemed like hours, then I woke up and Penny was there.
I heard Penny singing, I squeezed her hand and I opened my eyes.
"I think you should leave the music career to me Penelope." I whispered.
I looked up and there were those blue eyes looking at me. You could tell she had been crying, but still the most beautiful sight ever.
"Brian! Thank God!"
"What happened?"
"We were in a car accident, but that doesn't matter now. I love you!" She kissed my forehead.
"I love you Penz."
The doctor came and examined me and said that I was now in stable condition, but I needed to stay in the hospital a couple more days. The next day I was moved to a regular room and everyone came to visit.

When I was released from the hospital, we stayed in Ohio. The house was a little easier to move around in while I got used to the crutches and I really didn't feel up to flying right away. Penny was determined to take care of my every need. She was wearing herself out. She had lost some weight while I was in the hospital, so I was trying to make sure she ate. I guess we took care of each other. But she needed to take better care of herself.
We were in bed one night and I knew I had to talk to her.
"Penz, you have been incredible. You have taken such great care of me."
"I almost lost you, I am never going to take you for granted again."
"I will never take you for granted either. That's why I am worried about you." She lifted her head off my chest and looked at me.
"I'm not sure why you are worried about me."
"Because you are so busy taking care of me, that you aren't taking care of yourself."
"I have you back, that's all I am worried about." She said.
I didn't argue with her then, I knew I needed to find another way to get her to take better care of herself.

By the end of April, I was ready to go home to California, now that the cast was off and I had almost completed Physical Therapy. I needed to get back to work and Penny needed a break. She had been so tired lately, she needed a recharge to get her energy back. As much as she loved being in Ohio and close to the twins, she said she was ready for some sun and sand.
She was getting the house ready for us to be gone for a couple of months and packing one morning. I had gone to my last PT appointment. I had flowers delivered while I was out. They were identical to the ones in February. The card was the same also;

My Dearest Penelope,When I met you, my life had new meaning and new purpose. When I almost lost you, I felt that meaning and purpose start to slip away. We now have our whole lives ahead of us, together as one, growing old but never growing apart.Please do me the honor of joining me this evening for a post Valentine's Day celebration. Dinner and dancing at our special place.Love,Junior
Also, inside the envelope was an appointment card for a massage that afternoon. I had to get her out of the house so I could get everything set. Even after almost five years, I still loved to do these little surprises for her. When I thought about the fact that I almost died, I was even more grateful for every day.
Everything was set, it was perfect. Penny texted me before she left for her appointment and asked what she should wear. I suggested the dress she wore to Wicked. She ended up wearing a new dress. I met her at the doors when she walked out and I kissed her.
"You look beautiful." I told her.
"You look beautiful too" she smiled and winked at me.
We held hands, walked to the gazebo and I pulled out her chair for her. "I like your new dress."
"Thank you. The one from Wicked is too big now." She said. That was even more proof she had lost weight.
We had a nice dinner, talking and laughing. We exchanged the gifts we never got to give each other in February.
We danced and I held her tight, we almost lost it all. She suddenly walked over to the sound system and changed the music. She had selected Crimson Day and queued Acid Rain next.
"Acid Rain, that's kind of sad to dance to." I said.
"I know, but it makes me think of love that transcends death." She had one tear fall down her cheek. Suddenly, the dream that had continually haunted me for nearly a year flashed before my eyes.
"Penny, let's go upstairs and make love. I need you."
"Don't you want to finish this dance? It's almost finished." She asked, puzzled.
"No, I don't want to finish dancing to this song." With that, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house. I hit the off button on the sound system as we passed.

Three days later, we were back in California and it was time to start working on the new album. I jumped back in, feet first. I have to admit, I was so fixated on the band and the new album that I had neglected Penny. She didn't complain, she knew it was what I needed. But I should have paid more attention and done what I had said I was going to do months before.

I didn't notice until we were heading out for a swim one day that she had lost even more weight. She was way too thin.
"Penz I think you need to change that bikini it looks like it's loose."
"I just bought it a couple of weeks ago, it was the only I had that fit."
"I don't want you to try to lose weight for me. You are perfect."
"Thanks Haner, but I wasn't trying. I'm not sure why I have lost weight." She said. "Do I look okay?"
"You are beautiful, you always are. But we need to make sure you eat better." I smiled at her.
"Yes Sir!!" She saluted me. I walked and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her.
"There is only one quick solution to a bathing suit that doesn't fit."
"Buy a new one?" She grinned.
"That isn't a quick one, I really want to swim right now and it would take you too long to go by a new one."
"So what do you suggest, Syn?"
I unclasped the back of her bikini top and it fell to the floor. Then without another word, I picked her up and carried her down to the pool. She was laughing the whole way. I put her down on the pavement at the edge of the pool. I pulled her bottoms down and she stepped out of them, we kissed and then I pushed her in the pool. She screamed and I knew I was in big trouble when she came back up.
She didn't come up right away, like she normally does. I jumped in and grabbed her, pulling her up to the surface. She was gasping for air as she wrapped her arms around me and I lifted her up and sat her on the side of the pool.
She was able to breathe by that time. "Penny, what happened?"
"I don't know, I couldn't move it was like I hit the water and my arms and legs felt like lead. It's really hard to describe."
"Let's get you in the house." She had just scared the crap out of me.
"Bri, I'm fine. Maybe you were right before, I haven't been eating right. I have been pretty tired lately too. I have my yearly Doctor appointment in a couple of weeks, I'll see what he says."
"Then let's get you something to eat and rest for a little bit."
"I'm sorry I ruined our swim."
"I'm just glad you're ok." I kissed her. I should have made her go to the doctor right then, but instead I just kept working.

By the beginning of June, Penny started acting different. She would get phone calls and leave the room to even answer them. She was taking a lot of trips about possible portrait commissions and traveled on book signing tours with Gwyn. When we were home together she would spend most of the time in her Art Studio. A couple of times, I went to get her and she was asleep on the sofa she had in there. She didn't seem to really be working on much either.
One night when I came home late from the studio, Penny was in the shower. I tiptoed in and was going to surprise her, until I realized she was sitting crouched down on the floor of the shower crying. I backed out of the room and entered announcing myself. "Penelope, your hubby is home!!"
I heard her shuffling to stand up and she tried not to sound like she was crying.
"I'll be out in just a second, handsome!"
She got out and wrapped a towel around herself. I realized that she had lost even more weight. I walked up and kissed her. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine. I just need us to make love." She said.
I held her hand and led her to our bed. I cupped her face with my hand and kissed her while laying her down gently on the bed. I kissed her as I laid on top of her. I entered her and we made love. When we were holding each other afterward she said, "Promise me that no matter what, you will never forget me."
I looked at her. "You don't have to worry about that. I love you Penny, I will never leave you." Tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I love you too, Brian. I never want to leave you either." The tears didn't seem like happy tears. "Penny, why are you crying?" She literally pushed me off of her and said. "I don't want to talk about it." Then she got up, went to the bathroom and shut the door.
That was strange and I really didn't know what to do at that point. I walked up to the door and knocked lightly. I heard sniffles from inside.
"Penz, are you okay?" There was no answer, so I went on. "I’m sorry if I said or did something wrong."
"You didn't do anything wrong, I just have a really bad headache." She said through the door.
"Why don't you come lay down in bed and I will hold you, maybe that will help. I promise no talking, just quiet. How does that sound?"
The door opened slowly she didn't say a word, she put her arms around me and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around her. "Come on, let's get some rest and you'll feel better." At first she didn't let go, I held on to her until she was ready. Once we were in bed, her head was resting on my shoulder and she was nestled in my arms. I kissed her forehead. "I love you Penny"
There was a pause, then she said "I love you Brian" I felt droplets hit my shoulder, but I didn't want to say anything about her crying again.

I decided we needed to get out of the house and just be together. She had been gone so much lately, and I had been in the studio so much, we barely had time together to even talk. I had a surprise for her that I thought would cheer her up.
We went out to eat, just a fun casual evening. We had a great time, laughing and joking just like old times. I was so excited to tell her my plan.
"Penelope, I have been thinking ahead about our third anniversary and your birthday. You said you didn't want a party, so I thought maybe you would like it if we went on another cruise. We can pick which one we want to go on and get it booked."
The expression on her face was not what I expected. "I don't think that's a great idea." She said.
"Why? You said you didn't want a party and you loved our last cruise."
She seemed flustered. "Well, you know. I mean, my family will want to have a get together or something. Can't we wait until closer to February to make a decision?"
"It's close to Valentine's Day, you have to book that way in advance."
"Maybe later in the year, okay?"
"Okay, it was just a thought." I said.
"I know and I love you for it." She reached across the table and touched my hand. She looked like she was going to cry.
The rest of the night was pretty quiet. Not too long after that, Penny had a headache and wanted to go home.

On my birthday, while everyone was at our house in Ohio, I couldn't find Penny. She had acted odd all day. She clung to the twins during their first birthday party earlier in the day and seemed very detached during my party that night. I walked into our bedroom and she was on the phone in the bathroom.
"I know I need to tell him, but I can't bear the thought of how much it's going to hurt him. Let's just go on this next trip and then I promise no more sneaking around. I know I'm asking a lot of you, but I need you, you're the only one I can talk to." The other person must have said something. "Yes, I know that he has a right to know. It's not fair that you have to sneak around with me either. I can't keep finding reasons not to make plans. I wish you were here; I need a hug." Penny sounded like she was starting to cry. "I'll be okay. The hotel and flights are all set, I'll be there to meet you."
I had to leave the room, she was cheating on me! I checked her studio, she wasn't working on any paintings. I checked her iPad (I had never done that before) there were saved travel itineraries from her "business" trips. They were to New York, Paris, Switzerland pretty much all over the world! All were for suites with 2 guests. I couldn't believe it. No wonder she didn't want to go on a cruise for our anniversary, she had already travelled everywhere with her lover. My whole life suddenly became black and I felt so empty. It was all I could do to control my anger.
I had to talk to someone, the guys and I went out to have some drinks. We told the ladies we needed some "Guy Time." I may have just imagined it, but it was like Penny was glad that I was going out.
"There is no fucking way, dude. Penny would never cheat on you." Zack said
"She's changed. She's been really quiet, sometimes she pushes me away and other times she holds on to me so tight like she's afraid to let go. I get so many mixed signals. After hearing that phone conversation and finding out all the lies she has told me, what am I supposed to think?"
"If she is cheating, why would she want to go to where you met on your anniversary? You said she was determined that you go there again this year." Matt asked.
"I don't know, maybe she plans to tell me there. That would be so fucked up or maybe she wants one more trip together before she dumps me. I don't know what to think!"
"Maybe you should go talk to her now." Johnny said
"What do you think Matt?"
"I don't know I wish I did. Maybe the best thing is to confront her with it and see if she has an explanation."
"Maybe that's what I'll do, as soon as we get to Michigan. I'm going to ask her before she has a chance to dump me. I am glad I am going back with you guys and coming back here right before we go to Michigan."
"I hope you're wrong about this, Brian" Matt said.
I got stinking drunk off my ass after that. I passed out on the couch when I got home. When I woke up around ten the next day, Penny was gone and all I had was a note.

Hey Bri,
Had to head out, have a client that has to meet right now. I'll be back to pick you up from the airport before we drive to Michigan.
Love you,
Penz
Fucking great.

Notes