Matt’s POV

My head was spinning as I got out of the car and pulled out a cigarette. I know it wasn’t the best way to start off a day of recording but I needed something to calm me down because I was fucking pissed. Dice had played me again and totally avoided the topic that I had been trying to breech for the past three days now. Why did she refuse to talk to me about this? Hell, I didn’t even know what I did wrong and why she was pulling the illusive girlfriend act and the cold shoulder. She at least owed me an explanation for that. Obviously I had done something to make her pull away, but what? Be damned if I knew. I was just fucking sick of this merry-go-round we were on.

I let out a frustrated groan and tossed my ash. Maybe it would be better for both of us if we just cut our losses because this tango we were doing now wasn’t making either of us happy. I couldn’t keep going day-by-day wondering where I stood with a person that obviously wasn’t feeling the same thing I was. Especially when she wouldn’t even give me a clue as to what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers. God she fucking pissed me off with this shit because I just couldn’t figure her out! Maybe it was best just to let her go…

As I leaned against the wall, I could hear vaguely hear Jimmy screaming about something overtop of the sound whatever was happening in the guitar studio. It sounded like a fucking house of horrors in there and I knew my time was up. I just had to try and push this shit with Dice on the back burner and get my head in the game. I knew that I would have to corner her later and talk to her about all this, but the studio wasn’t the place and I had a job to do.

I took a deep breath and walked into the main studio room just as a haunting female voice filled my ears. What in the world? We didn’t have anybody from Big Machine on the docket today. My eyes scanned the room to see MJ sitting on the couch with her computer, chewing her bottom lip as her fingers flew on the keyboard. Okay, so it wasn’t blondie and I would be damned if Val or Michelle were here. This wasn’t their scene. That left only…

“That’s Dice?” I gaped, walking into the vocal studio to see Jimmy grinning and nodding like an idiot. I didn’t know she could sing, let alone that Jimmy had any of this planned. We had originally decided for him to scream those back up vocals but I guess he had a change in heart.

“It’s perfect!” He literally looked like a little kid on Christmas morning, full of light and innocence as he bounced on the balls of his feet. “She sounds just like zombie bride in my head! Of course we’ll have to change a few of her levels but I’m a motherfucking genius!”

I crossed my arms as I watched her in the booth, letting out a light sigh. Something about listening to her sing in that raspy timbre caused a realization to come over me. She wasn’t happy and that thought hurt more than she would ever know. I needed to let this go, not matter how much it hurt me. Did I love the girl? Sure I did, but I couldn’t live like this. I couldn’t continue this façade we were living when I knew that she wasn’t happy with me, that I was causing this kind of unrest for her. How did I know all this from listening to the sound of her voice? I knew music and I could hear it through the tone. Hell, it was the tone I used in half of City of Evil when Val smashed my heart for the first time.

“So we’ll turn up her compressor ratio a bit and I think it will be exactly what we’re looking for. Maybe a little EQ too…” I shook my head, bringing my attention back to Jimmy just as Dice stopped singing. “But I think we’ve done it! My precious work is coming alive!” he sang, lifting his hands up in the air dramatically.

“Yeah, I think that will be good,” though I really hadn’t been listening to him. My eyes followed Red as she came out of the studio and instantly wrapped her arms around me and pressed her face into my chest.

What was this? I was so confused that I didn’t know whether she was pulling my leg right now or it was genuine. So she can run away from me and avoid me for weeks and then just come up and hug me out of the blue? Talk about fucking blurred lines in our relationship.

“Umm…what’s this?” Though no matter how frustrated I was with her, something inside me just couldn’t let her walk away without touching her. Dice had me wrapped around her pale little finger and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around her and pulled her close. What the hell was wrong with me? Seconds ago I was fighting with myself about breaking up the girl but now here she is in my arms, making me feel like everything’s okay. The only problem was, things aren’t okay.

“I needed a hug.” She needed a hug after storming away from me and avoiding me for days? I let out a small sigh, her touch alone making my anger and frustration melt slowly away.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Jimmy called over my shoulder as a smirk crept over my face. And he was the one screaming about how perfect it was.

“Oh yes it was. I’m never ever doing that ever again... ever.” I swear Jimmy looked like he was about to have a seizure. His eyes bulged slightly as she shook his head with a manic look, a smile pulling over his face. He was excited about this next part.

“What? Dicey-poo, you still have to say ‘I do’!” He sang, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

„What?!” The next thing knew, Dice had pulled away from me and was looking between Jimmy and I in shock. Her eyes grew wide and she shook my head. What had I grown three heads in the last five minutes? “I’m not fucking saying those words!”

My brow furred as Dice’s face paled and her chest rose and fell quickly. What the hell was this? I had never seen her freak out about anything before and this was serious. This was some MJ shit that she was pulling right now. “Dice, calm down,” I urged, reaching out to try and calm her. I was so frustrated and confused that I didn’t know what to do. Why was she so freaked out by saying ‘I do’? I wasn’t asking her to marry me for Christ’s sake so there really wasn’t any need for these dramatics. “Just take a seat.”

“Don’t touch me!” Dice ripped out of my arms and took a few steps away, only to fall flat on her face seconds later.

“Dice!”

“My Knife Mistress!” Jimmy screamed as we both rushed to her side. What the hell just happened? I scooped up her limp body and moved her over to the couch in the corner. “No, she can’t be dead! What are we going to do?”

“She’s not dead, just go get MJ,” I growled, kneeling down beside her on the floor, tapping her cheeks and looking down at her pale face. Fuck, this was messed up and I couldn’t think straight. My mind was spinning in panic as I looked at that beautiful pale face. What the hell caused this? I pinched my eyes shut, trying to find my nerve again but I was overrun with emotions: Anger from all her bullshit, hurt from her pulling away from me, fear for seeing her like this, and anxiety over what was happening to me, to us.

I slowly stood up and back away after MJ kneeled down next to me. My hands were running over my head as I watched the scene, still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. But thank fucking god for MJ and that beer trick because she sprung back to life. I felt both a wave of relief and anger run over me. What the fuck was she thinking pulling shit like this? Did she hate me that much and over recording a stupid song? It just didn’t make sense and after this whole line of bullshit, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“You care to explain what the hell all that was?” I suddenly snapped at her, not being able to contain my rising anger anymore. My fists were clenched at my sides and I ignored the shocked looks from the others. She owed me some answers and she better start fucking talking.

“Uhmm... Sleep deprivation?” She frowned, avoiding eye contact with me. That’s when I fucking lost it.

“That’s complete bullshit and you know it, Dice,” I raged, seeing Jimmy look around nervously out of the corner of my eye. “I’m so sick of playing these fucking games with you! You better start fucking talking!”

Dice narrowed her eyes at me, watching as my chest began to rise and fall again with anger. However she didn’t say anything. “I’ll ask you again,” I growled, stepping towards her. “What the fuck was that?”

“You don’t even want to go there, big boy,” she warned, now standing and giving me a pointed look. “Stop now before I get really pissed.”

I laughed skeptically as Jimmy slipped out of the room. “You owe me some fucking answers,” I raged, taking a step towards her. “Why the fuck are you avoiding me and—“

“Don’t,” her jaw tensed as ran her hands over her face.

“Don’t what? Talk about these fucking mind games you’re playing?! I’m so sick of all this bullshit!” I ran my hands over my face, a deep frown and crease between my brow becoming a permanent fixture on my face. “Just tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Dice let out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose, and I could tell that she was trying to remain calm. She was picking a really fucking good time to remain silent for the first time in her life.

I scoffed again, my brow furring and clenching my teeth. I was sure my knuckles were white now from holding them in sheer anger and frustration. “So you mean to tell me that I don’t fucking mean anything to you anymore?”

“Don’t go down that road, Matt,” she shot me that death glare.

“I deserve to know the fucking truth, Dice. Do. You. Feel. Anything. Towards. Me?” I hissed through clenched teeth, trying my best not to lash out, though all I wanted to do was punch the shit out of something. She looked down at the ground and took a shaky breath, her fierce green’s never once looking back at me. “ ANSWER ME!” I bellowed before kicking the coffee table over.

“Fine do you want to know the fucking truth, Matt?” Her eyes finally looked up at me, staring straight into my soul, but the person I saw there wasn’t the one that I feel in love with. “And I can promise you’re not going to fucking like it!”

“You owe me an answer!” I hissed, crossing my arms.

“Fine,” Dice spat. “You want to know why I’ve been avoiding you and showing up at all hours of the night? It’s because you fucking piss me off! You’re drowning me! You’re always fucking there!” Dice started, her hands flying up in the air. “I’ve tried giving you the subtle hint to back the fuck off but apparently your scull is too thick for that! And do I feel anything towards you? Nothing more that a good night’s fuck.”

I felt like I had been slapped in the face and stabbed in the heart all at the same time. My jaw dropped as I looked at her blinking a few times as her words sank in. “Well, you’ve made yourself pretty damn clear,” I said softly, dropping my head so she wouldn’t see the hurt in my eyes. “So guess what, Dice? You don’t have to worry about me breathing your fucking air anymore because I’m done. Don’t let me stop you from finding you next good lay! There’s the fucking door…”

I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick and I had to get out of there. I took in a shaky breath as I turned to head into the vocal booth. I didn’t even notice if she walked out the door or not because the next thing I knew I had a microphone in my hand, squeezing the life out of it. So she had been fucking using me this whole time? And what clues? One day she was there and the next she was gone! I was beyond pissed and hurt and couldn’t control myself. I threw the microphone as hard as I could into the glass before sliding down the wall behind me, my head falling into my hands.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Now is not the time Johnny.

“Not now,” I sighed, pulling at my hair.

“But you—“

“GET OUT!”

I couldn’t deal with anyone right now. All I wanted was that tall bottle of Jack Daniels that was currently sitting on the table. I reached up and pulled out the cork with my teeth before taking a long chug. The burn was comforting but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest. So that was it. Dice and I were officially over.


MJ’s POV

My eyes scanned over Dice’s face with a frown as she slowly sat up from the couch. Something was going on with her and I would have to get to the bottom of it later. It wasn’t like her to pass out or look this pale, so it had to be something deep. I chewed my lip, fearing that she would dive off the deep end again and do something reckless. However, I didn’t have time to think about it because the next thing I knew, Brian had pulled me back outside the door.

His dark browns searched my face with a small frown as he arms crossed over his muscular chest. “You’re going with Vengeance?”

“Well, yea, that was the plan.” Why was he so concerned about me getting ice cream with Zacky? I blinked at him with as I tried to read his expression, not really sure where all this was coming from. He sure knew how I felt about him.

It was then that a cocky smirk fell over his lips and he shook his head. “Nah. You have a new plan.” What was he talking about? I didn’t have any plans for evening, well except maybe eating my weight in mint chocolate chip ice cream.

A frown came over my face as I furred my eyebrows at him. “I do?” I was so confused right now that it wasn’t even funny.

“Yup,” he replied with the same smirk grown on his lips. “I’m taking you out to dinner.”

As soon as I registered his words, a huge smile pulled across my face. It had been weeks since Brian had taken me out for dinner. Did this mean he wanted to get back together with me? My heart fluttered at the thought and suddenly felt giddy, just like I did back in high school when I got asked out on my first date. Brian smirked down at me as he put his arm around my shoulders and lead me towards the car. It was then that I saw Zacky still sitting at the patio table with a frown. Shit, I forgot about ice cream with Zacky.

“But-but what about ice cream with Zacky?” I asked, my smile fading slightly as Brian hurried me towards the car. I felt bad throwing away our plans so easily, but I had been waiting for Brain to come around like this for weeks. Zacky was one of my best friends and surely he would understand, right? I would make it up to him tomorrow.

“Eh, he’ll live,” Brian simply shrugged his shoulders as I chanced a glance back before getting in the car. “Besides, I’ll buy you all the mint chocolate chip you can eat, baby doll.” A blush ravished my face when he used his pet name for me. It felt like ages since he had talked to me this way and I couldn’t help but chew my bottle lip to hide my excitement.

“You better live up to that, buddy,” I giggled, poking him in the side as he started the car. “You know how I get when you deprive me of ice cream.”

“Oh, don’t worry sweetheart I can make you cream all night long.” Brain graced me with his browns as he turned the corner, my face turning a shade darker. Why did he have this affect over me? Just that look alone made me crave him—no need him. I physically ached as his hand reached over and traced small circles on the thigh. “Tell you what,” he said in a husky tone. “I’ll drop you off at home, you get around and prettied up, and I’ll meet you at Baci at eight.”

I turned to look at him as he pulled into the driveway. “Where are you going?” A small frown pulled over my face, not liking the idea of sitting at home by myself for a few hours. Tell me again why I had to leave the studio?

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, his fingers gliding over a Benjamin before handing it to me. “I’ve got to head back to the studio for a few more hours or else the guys will kill me,” he shrugged, brushing my blonde bangs behind my ear. That motion alone caused shivers to run down my spine. God, I missed this closeness. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there. Order us a bottle of the house wine and get me the prime rib.”

“Okay, but don’t be late,” I couldn’t help but miss the silent laughter that shook his body. We both knew he was notoriously late to every occasion, and mainly because he needed to make sure his hair was perfect.

“I’ll try my best, babe,” Brian reached over and pushed open the car door, grazing my upper thighs along the way. I bit my lip, feeling my core beg for more but I knew that I had to wait. “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you at eight.”

“At eight,” I agreed before he leaned forward and pecked my lips.

I slowly made my way into the house, watching the slick black BMW pull away with a smile plastered on my face. Things were finally going well for us again and I felt like the Brain that I had fell in love with was back. I let out a giddy squeal and ran into the house, picking up Pinkly and spinning around happily.

“He’s taking me on a date!” I cried to the Maltese, and she barked back happily. Though I wasn’t’ sure if it was because she was happy about my news or happy that I was home. I smiled at that thought. Yeah, I was home.

Over the next few hours, I did some cleaning, made some lime tarts and cookies for the guys, and dressed myself up in my favorite dress. It was a teal skin-tight bodice with a black lace overlay that brought out my eyes. I danced around in front of the mirror as I curled my hair and applied just the right amount of make-up. When I was certain that I couldn’t make myself look any better, I slipped on a pair of black studded heels and called a cab.

“Reservation for Haner,” I said, walking up to the hostess stand at exactly 8pm. Brian wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but that wasn’t surprising. I still had at least twenty minutes before he would show up—that was normal. The short waitress lead me over to the table and I ordered the wine and both Brian and my usual entrees.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until your other guest arrives?” I waitress asked, pouring me a glass of the rich red wine.

I shook my head with a small smile as I brought the glass to my lips. “No, he’ll be here shortly. He asked me to order for him,” I took a sip of the wine, its sweetness lingering on my tongue. This was the best wine I had ever had, which was why Brian requested that I order it. I couldn’t help but look around the restaurant happily, my heart racing with anticipation as I waited for Brian. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

An hour and a half and the bottle of wine later, I was still sitting at the table by myself. Only this time I was pushing around my salad with my head in my hand, staring blankly into the ice-cold prime rib dinner. I was trying my best to hold it together as I kept glancing down at my phone. Not even a text message—Brian obviously wasn’t coming. I pinched my eyes shut and bit down on my lip as I tried to keep the tears from rising. I was so stupid to think that he actually wanted to go out dinner with me. Was it an act to piss off Zacky? And for what? We were just friends.

“Would you like a to-go box, Miss?” I looked up to see the waitress staring at me with a sad look on her face. Oh, great, she pitied me too.

“No, just the check,” I couldn’t believe Brain would do this to me. I was so embarrassed and I knew that I couldn’t afford this meal. Reaching for my clutch on the chair next to me, I pulled out my bankcard and prayed that I had enough to get pay bill. My student loans were eating up my checks each week, leaving me with pennies.

I paid the check and signed my name, not even looking at the amount. I was afraid to see the damage and overly pissed off at Brian. Great, now how the hell was I going to get home? I pulled out my phone and called Zacky, knowing that he was still up and about at 10:30 at night.

“Baker,” he answered on the second ring.

“H-hey,” I said in shaky tone, trying to hold myself together. “Can you come get me? Brian didn’t show up…

“Fuck, yeah, I’ll be there shortly. Where are you?” I couldn’t deny the irritation in his voice. I wasn’t sure if it was aimed at me disturbing his evening or at Brain for being that asshole that everyone warned me that he was. I guess I had been too blind to see it before this moment. But honestly, I was hurt and hurt bad by this move. How could he give me hope and then just crush all in one simple action? Did I really mean that little to him.

“Baci,” I sighed.

The ride home with Zacky was a silent one though I could tell he was dying to know what was going on. I however, was too busy trying to control he anger and hurt building inside me. I really must have meant nothing to him for him to leave me sitting there for two hours embarrassed and alone. I scoffed at the thought.

Just as Zacky rounded the corner, I nearly lost it when my eyes landed on both the Black Mustang and BMW sitting so perfectly in the driveway. It all made perfect sense to me now. Brian said he’d go out to dinner with me so that he could screw around with my best friend behind my back. I guess caring for me was an on-again off-again switch that he could turn on whenever the hell he pleased. How could I have been so stupid to think that he actually cared about me and wanted to be with me? It was all a fucking farce.

“Shit,” Zacky hissed, slouching down at his seat, as he spotted the cars. “Do you want to stay with me tonight, MJ?”

I laughed skeptically, shaking me head. “I don’t fucking know.” And before I could stop myself, I was in the house and slamming the door behind me. My eyes landed on Brian sitting on the couch with a bottle of Scotch and Dice passed out with her feet on him. Oh, they looked really fucking cozy sitting there drinking and watching fucking TV.

“Shit,” I heard Brain say as soon as the door slammed. He was on his feet and heading toward me with an apologetic look in his eyes. “MJ….I’m—“ At that second my fist made contact with his face and he stumbled backwards.

“Fuck that hurt,” I hissed, shaking my hand, not even really realizing what I had done. “You’re what Brian, sorry? Well sorry is being a half and hour late. Sorry is sending me a text saying that you’ll be late. You left me sitting there for two hours waiting for you to show up! Two hours!” I raged, fire in front of my eyes. I didn’t know if I had finally developed a backbone or if this was the bottle of wine talking but I couldn’t stop. “And for what? To come home and find you just relaxing and drinking with my best friend? Your fucking sick, Brian! A real selfish and arrogant asshole.”

Brian hung his head, his jawline tightening, but I wasn’t done. “Do you know how embarrassing it was to sit there? Not to mention the hefty bill that I had to pocket on my lousy bartenders salary.”

“MJ—“

“No,” I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes as I ran my hands angrily over my lace dress as he stepped towards me. “I guess you only care for me when it’s convenient for you, right? God, I was so stupid to think that you would actually care about me. I was wrong, I know it now. Well, guess what, I’m done playing this game. It hurts too much!” I choked back a sob as I turned on my heels and headed towards the door.

“MJ, wait!”

Notes

Sorry for any major typos or grammatical errors. I'm exhausted but I had to get this up. I will edit in the morning!
MJ's Dress