Matt’s POV

Ever since the night that Dice disappeared, I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind. Her words just kept playing over and over in my head, slowly driving me insane. And please tell Matt that he’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah, I hope you’re feeling the same thing I am because I’m pretty sure that bitch lied to me. I mean, how could we kiss the way that we did and it not mean anything to her and then write shit like that to her best friend? It didn’t make any fucking sense and just that thought alone was ripping me apart. Hell, I wanted to kill the girl! Dice was either fucking crazy or she had flat out lied to me!

I was so pissed after Brian dropped me off that I could barely think straight. I ended up driving around Huntington Beach and neighboring suburbs for hours, just trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. So she did like me and then up and fled? Was I insane for feeling the way I did about her?

“No, I’m not insane,” I screamed at the top of my lungs as the sun came up. “I’m not insane, I’m not insane!” I just kept repeating over and over again. Dice had to feel the same way or else she wouldn’t write that to MJ. And then it hit me. The plan and simple truth hit me square in the face as I pulled up at the beach. Dice was just a fucking bitch that couldn’t deal with her emotions. Hell, for the longest time, she swore up and down that she didn’t have any. Well, it seems that she did and was running away from her problems. Somehow I knew that this wasn’t the first time she up and left.

I walked across the beach with my hands on top of my head in complete shock. How could Dice just up and leave everything, including her best friend? My eyes glanced down at my phone as I sat in the sand, praying that she would at least text me. Though why would she? I hadn’t sent her a message, and what exactly would I say? ‘Oh, I read your apology letter to your best friend and realized you lied to me about your feelings?’ Yeah, that would go over really well with Dice. Fuck, I didn’t even know what her real name was!

I growled as I lay back in the sand, my hands clutching it for dear life. Was I afraid that I had lost her forever? Well, what did it matter anyway? Dice obviously didn’t want to be with me or else she would have admitted to her feelings yesterday. Fuck, why was this girl so damned complicated. She was driving me fucking insane! No, Matt, it’s Dice that is the fucking crazy ass bitch. She chose to leave and you had nothing to do with it.

I sighed and closed my eyes - all I could see was the California sun burning orange under my eyelids. It looked like I was in hell, the fires burning around me in combination with the torment Dice was putting me through. Why couldn’t she just come back and say sorry? It would make everything so easy. I laughed, realizing that this whole thing was almost that easy to fix.

At that moment, the first song Jimmy had come up with popped into my head and the words just started to flow out of me. I quickly pulled out my phone and began to type exactly what I was feeling and the melody in my brain fit perfectly with the riff.

“I’m not insane, I’m not insane,” I sang to myself as my fingers flew across the keyboard. I ignored the burn in my eyes as I continued, not willing to let those emotions come out. “Come back to me, it’s almost easy. Come back again, it’s almost easy.”

I laughed as I looked down at the words, shaking my head. This was the third song Dice had inspired and she didn’t even really like our music. I remembered her telling me that we were just way too over produced. I laughed at the thought, shaking my head.

“Now that I’ve lost you it kills me to say,” I continued to type, running with the range of emotions that were flowing inside of me. I was called M. Shadows for a reason, and it had to do with me being a little bit darker than the rest of my friends. They pushed their emotions away while I embraced them and charged forward with that pain. This time wasn’t any different.

“I’ve tried to hold on as you slowly slipped away,” and that she had. Ever since Dice found out about the bet, she complete withdrew from me. She wouldn’t even so much as have a real conversation with me anymore, and it fucking sucked. “I’m losing the fight.” I shook my head as I thought back to the day at the studio with Val. I’ll admit that I was complete ass and totally forgot she was there and up and left her in the middle of the night. “I’ve treated you so wrong, now let me make it right.”

If I ever saw her again, I would have to make everything right between us and between her and MJ. I had to make her happy. It was my duty.

I shook my head as I looked up from a text from Val, trying to push that memory away. Surprisingly the day after that, Val called me and asked if we could get back together. And even though I was still pissed at Dice for invading my thoughts, I couldn’t say no to the love of my life. Since then, things had been perfect between Val and I. It was almost like she had never left, though Dice was always lingering in the back of my mind. Hell, I thought I saw her on a daily basis and would frequently picture myself with her instead of Val. But I knew it was just a phase, I loved Val and we were meant to be. I could screw that up just because of a fling, even though it felt like so much more. Val was what I knew and where I felt comfortable and I wished that I could just forget about that beautiful redhead.

“Dude, what are these lyrics?” Zacky asked, reading over my shoulder as I worked in the recording studio. Jimmy was in the booth recording the drum track for Critical Acclaim. It felt good to have the whole song mapped out before we even started recording. And we had Dice to thank for this idea too. Fuck, she just wouldn’t leave us alone and she wasn’t even here. I wish she would stop invading my thoughts!

“Huh?” I asked, shaking my head after Jimmy screamed some insanities. Honestly he had screamed enough today, specially with that little show this morning. Why couldn’t MJ just tell him no and make him learn? Now he was going to try that trick every time until he got what he wanted. I swear, I loved the guy to death but he was just like a puppy that needed to be taught the difference between yes and no.

“This one titled insanity?” I looked over my shoulder to see Zack with a raised brow, reading down the page. “Is this a new song?”

“No, these are the lyrics to go with Jimmy’s thrasher,” I sighed, running my hands over my face. “He wrote most of them, I just came up with the chorus and the bridge,” and that was the truth. The day after Dice left, I brought then to him and he just went crazy. He loved the idea and ran with it. I guess Dice inspired him too. “Did Brian lay down that riff yet?”

“I’m not play that shit!” he called from the doorway. “Its cheesy as fuck,” and he may be right but I’m sure he could make it sound better than Jimmy. The guy had a fucking gift. “I’m not playing it god damn it and you cant make me!” He said with a goofy voice that I hadn’t heard in a while. Well, I think someone was happy.

I rolled my eyes and turned back around, changing some levels on the soundboard for Jimmy. “Can’t you just suck it up and take one for the team. You can stack the grooves, you know. Make it more contemporary.”

Brian groaned as Zacky walked out of the room. I hoped he was going to record his track in the guitar room since Brian obviously wasn’t. “Fine…but I’m not going to like it!” he joked, pointing at me as he back out of the room.

“Take Blondie with you, maybe she could inspire something,” I laughed, only for him to pop back around the corner and look at me with a raised brow.

“What the fuck did you just say?” His brow was knit together in frustration as he eyed me down. What? It wasn’t any big secret that his mind was in the game every time he brought MJ to work with him. I noticed that each time she tagged along, he was more productive and more creative. Hell, he even played better too. Though, I didn’t want to know what they were doing when they snuck into a studio and closed the door. But whatever, as long as we were getting this album going.

“Just noticed you seem to have a muse on your hands,” I shrugged, looking back at the track screen over the technician’s shoulder. “You work better when she’s here.” And that wasn’t a lie. For the past two weeks, he had absolutely nothing to bring to the table and it was almost too much of a coincidence that he had brilliant riffs and solos after she started staying with him. Call me crazy, but that’s what I thought.

“She’s not my fucking muse,” he hissed, glaring daggers at me. “And stop talking about her. I’m only letting her stay until Dice gets back.” Whoa, where the hell did that come from? Seemed like I hit a nerve, and I had never seen him act this way over a girl before, not even Michelle. There was definitely something going on there, whether he wanted to admit it or now. We weren’t blind.

“So you don’t like her?” I asked, slightly confused now. Gates sighed and ran his hands over his face.

“Of course I like her, everyone fucking likes her! Me, you, Zack, Jimmy, hell even Johnny. She just a kind-hearted girl,” He whispered, leaning in close to me so no one else could hear. “But Blondie is just a nice little piece of ass and that’s it. She’s a fucking friend so stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong,” and with that he got up and stormed out of the room. Well, I wasn’t stupid and I could see that he was full of shit.

After what seemed like hours later, Johnny stumbled into the room holding out a manila envelop. “Uh, Shads…I think we all just got served…” he said, handing me the folder with my name on it.

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘we’ve been served’,” I raged, ripping open the envelope to find a piece of paper that said I was called to be a witness in court by someone named Lucy Reed. “What the fuck is this?”

“I was just asking the same thing!” Zacky chimed in, coming into the room, closely followed by the rest of the gang. We all looked around at each other with confused faces. “Who the fuck are Lucy Reed and Mia Johnson?”

“Um…I’m Mia Johnson,” MJ’s high-pitched voice chirped nervously from the door. She was holding a sketchpad and had a large frown on her lips. “Wh-what are those?” I watched as she swallowed nervously as Johnny passed her the paperwork. “No…no…. just forget about it. We’re not going to court.” She shook her head furiously, her eyes darting around the room in panic.

“Court for what, love?” Zacky asked, pulling her into his side only to receive a glare from Brian as he walked out the guitar studio.

“To put her bastard of and ex behind bars,” Brian growled, moving to put his arm around MJ’s waist. And you told me there was nothing there? That looked pretty damned possessive to me. Oh, that asshole from Johnny’s. Well, I guess that made sense. But who was Lucy Reed and if MJ didn’t want to go, who was taking him to court? “And yes you are going, baby girl,” my brows shot up. He had a pet name for her too? What the hell was Gates doing? “Specially if you want to see Dice.”

“But who the fuck is Lucy Reed,” Johnny asked, looking at MJ for answers.

“That’s-that’s Dice,” she said, her eyes pleading with Brian.

My jaw dropped at the blonde’s words. That was fucking right, Dice was a motherfucking lawyer and I had almost forgot. And her real name was Lucy Reed? You had to be kidding me! It even sounded like a lawyer’s name. My heart started to race in my chest at the thought of her and I had excuse myself from the room to take a smoke. I couldn’t deal with all this right now.

MJ’s POV

I had spent the entire day at the studio sketching up the characters for the Avenged Boy’s video. As I read the lyrics, a deep blush took over my cheeks, causing both Brian and Zacky to laugh at me. Okay, so maybe I was naïve but I had never heard of someone wanting to have sex with a corpse after death. Was that really a thing? It was fucking gross if you asked me, but who was I to judge their music. From what I had heard so far, they sounded amazing. I just couldn’t believe that Jimmy thought I was talented enough to do this for them. I mean, weren’t million’s of people going to see this in the end? I swallowed thickly at the thought.

I was happily doodling a woman, who ended up kind of looking like Dice only with dark hair, and a guy that would be the main characters in the animation when Johnny came storming through the studio’s with court envelops. I only knew what they were because I had seen them before and as soon as I heard Matt and Zacky yelling from the other studio, I sprang to my feet.

No, she hadn’t done this. She hadn’t dragged these guys into my mess and hoped that they would help fix things. This would only piss Malcolm off more and he would undoubtedly come after me and probably kill me. My heart started to race at just the thought, only being able to answer the question about who Lucy Reed was.

As Matt stormed out of the room, I looked at Brian with pleading eyes. He couldn’t make me go through with this. I would find some other way to get Dice back because I didn’t want to bring all the guys into this mess. They had already done too much for me.

“Please…” I begged Brain, following him back into the guitar studio. “Please don’t testify against him…It-it will only cause more problems.”

“Not if Dice gets his ass thrown in jail. Trust her,” he said with a pointed look somewhere over my shoulder. Why did he refuse to look at me all of a sudden? Had I done something wrong? Oh, this fucking court mess was going to screw everything up.

I gaped at Brain, still shaking my head. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “MJ,” he sighed again, still not meeting my eyes. “Please…I don’t have time for this right now and I still have a lot of work to do before we can head home.” A deep frown fell over my face and I gave him a curt nod and headed out of the room. I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly felt like a burden. I couldn’t ruin this now and I wasn’t going to let the drama with Malcolm destroy whatever Brian and I had.

I sank back into the couch in the lounge and pulled my knees to my chest, setting the sketchpad on top of them. I burred myself in drawing, trying to get rid of this emotion building inside of me. The next thing I knew, Jimmy was screaming something about the drawings being perfect.

“You are fucking mastermind, Blondie! Look at this bloody beautiful massacre and is that a church!? I could kiss you,” and boy did he. I got a wet sloppy kiss pressed against my lips and I had to blink a few times to regain myself. When I looked down I saw a huge drawing on the pad in front of me that was indeed a battle scene. People’s heads were chopped off, hearts were on the floor, and the zombie lovers were happy eating a feast. Was I fucking sick to draw something like this? Maybe, but at least Jimmy liked it.

“Can I have his?” Jimmy basically screamed, ripping it out of my hands and running around the studio. “My precious is ALIVE!!” I couldn’t help but laugh as he paraded it into each of the guys and I was surprised to hear them agree. “I’m going to hang it right here for inspiration.” My blue orbs met him as he pined it to the back of the studio door proudly. “You little Blondie are my new favorite person!”

“Hey, what about me?” I glanced over to see Brain leaning against the door with an amused look on his face.

“Oh, Bri-Bri, you are my favorite boy…and Blondie here is my new favorite girl…AND you’re together!” he screamed, happily dancing around the room. “But don’t be too upset when I highjack her to the movies to replace Dice until she gets back,” he chirped happily.

Brian sighed and rolled his eyes before grabbing his leather jacket from the chair next to me. What was with him today? He acted like he was pissed off at everyone, including me. “Let’s go,” he basically barked at me, grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door.

The car ride back to Brian’s house was painfully quiet and I could only hear Pantera playing lightly in the background. Usually Brain talked to me about what he was recording or we made small talk, but not today. His jaw was tensed and he was staring intently ahead, not even chancing a glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

I sank back into the leather seat, chewed my bottom lip nervously, and twisted my fingers in my lap. Why did I feel like I was about to be scolded for something? This was how my parents used to act when they found out I got a B or an A- on a test instead of an A. His body language made me feel like a failure all over again. Was he going to kick me out?

“I-Is everything alright?” I asked quietly, my voice shaking from my racing heart. I was afraid to hear his response.

“Yeah, fine,” he snapped as he pulled into the driveway. “Shit…”

“What?” I watched him closely, still chewing my bottom lip. Brian looked straight ahead out the window before he licked his lips. Though, it wasn’t in the same seductive way as it usually was. He shifted slightly in his seat like he was trying to decide on something before he spoke softly. “I-I left something at the studio. You go ahead in and make something for dinner and I’ll be back shortly,” he said, though something was off.

“Okay,” I breathed, though I wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth or not, but when had he ever given me a reason not to trust him. “See you soon,” I said and he pecked my cheek before I got out of the car. I watched from the front door as he speed off again with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just hoped I hadn’t done anything wrong. Had the whole going to court with Malcolm thing really irritated him that badly? I knew right then that I had to make it up to him.

I flew into the house and threw my bag on the couch next to my laptop—I would have to work on Jimmy’s project later. Right now, my attention was on Brian and making sure I didn’t fuck this up with my ex problems.

The next thing I knew, I was making homemade Chicken Parmesan, Alfredo Pasta, and those disgustingly sweet lime tarts like we had on the boardwalk. I wanted this dinner to be perfect, so while the chicken and the tarts were baking, I quickly ran and jumped in the shower. And in between checking, stirring, and perfecting the meal, I pulled on my black and red lace dress and did my hair and make up. I wanted Brian to know how thankful I was and how sorry I was for causing him so much trouble.

About an hour later, everything was set and ready to go, including the beautiful table setting, but Brian wasn’t home. “Okay, so maybe he had some inspiration and went to record something,” I murmured to myself, moving to sit on the couch with Pinkly. “Daddy will be home soon, sweetheart. Don’t you worry.” I was surprised when the dog seemed to give what looked like a sad expression. Did she know something that I didn’t?

After waiting about ten more minutes, I decided that I could probably start to work on the graphics for Jimmy. My fingers flew over the keyboard as I coded each of the characters, making them come to life and color on the screen. When I was done, the zombie lovers were standing in the middle of a cemetery, both holding a heart. It was really cool to look at but I was exhausted. What time was it anyway and where was Brain? I looked up at the clock in the right hand corner of computer to see that it read 2:44 am before my eyes slowly started to droop shut. So much for having a nice dinner…

Notes

MJ's Dress