Brian’s POV

Was I trying too hard to convince my head of something my heart knew was a lie? Was that why I was so confused? And so irritated with everyone? How could they all tell me that I loved her when I, myself, wasn’t sure about it? Why MJ? What was so mesmerizing about her that I was falling fast and hard? Put Michelle and MJ together and you have two opposites. Two stunning girls who had shaken my world. The problem was Michelle was exactly the kinda person I always had thought I would fall in love with, but now, all I wanted to do is make love to the girl standing next to her. Maybe the naiveness was so attracting, ‘cause I’ve never been together with a naive girl before. Every one of those girls I had spent my time with knew exactly what I wanted, but MJ... It’s like she was denying that I could be the exact pig everyone took me for and tried to outbring the best of me. But truth be told – I wasn’t that kinda guy.

I mean come on, what would I do with her? Other than have a fucking amazing time and the most breathtaking sex? I couldn’t believe the way she made me feel around her. She still had the innocence of a five-year-old, which maybe was something I needed exactly after those years in the society of groupies and cocaine.

Completely mindlessly I was strolling down the shore, not even sure how I’d gotten here or why I had the phone pressed to my ear. The only thing I knew I had to have fresh breath on things. And I had to talk to someone, who didn’t fall under the category of testosterone filled jocks. I was surprised she picked up. And it sounded she felt the same way. „Brian?”

„Yea, hi...” I said unsure of why was I even calling her. I heard the bed creek below her, meaning she just sat up. The cool breeze of the ocean was kissing the side of my face as I stopped to look over the dark water and the nightly sky. „...why did we break up?”

The heavy sigh was unmistakeable and I knew she was pinching the bridge of her nose right now. „Are you asking what made me cheat on you?”

Was I? Was that what I actually wanted to know in order to move on? I sighed. „Yeah...”

„Other than the fact that you’re really an asshole?”

„Let’s keep it polite, alright?” Talking to her just didn’t seem such a good idea anymore. What was I expecting in the end? That we’d kiss and make up? Nah... I didn’t want that.

She let out a deep exhale. „Because you didn’t love me. I thought that will come with time, but it turns out I spent four years waiting for something that will never come.”

„Michelle...” I breathed, suddenly starting to feel like the biggest dick on the face of earth. Even tho I had been the one to catch her with her pants down, it felt like it had been all my fault.

„Brian, don’t. Don’t apologize, let’s just stay to what we are now. It’s easier.” Did she mean the mental war zone we created each time we met one another? Yea, sure ‘easier’. I was pretty certain I just scoffed in my head. „But why are you calling? It’s not like you miss me or anything... You have a new girl by your side now,”

„Why do everyone keep saying that? I’m just helping her out!” I yelled out in frustration. For a good couple of days I even was criss-crossing the web in search of a new home for MJ, simply ‘cause I knew how this would end. Synyster Gates would poke his amazingly stunning hairdo around the corner and fuck everything up, leaving MJ broken and shattered all over my porch.

„I think she’s the one helping you out,” She replied, „She makes you happy...”

„How do you know that?” She hadn’t seen me since we were at Johnny’s.

„Matt. Eversince he’s back with Val, he can’t stop telling her how you’re finally happy, tho he’s not. Even Val can see it...” Wasn’t I happy before MJ?

„His heart’s somewhere else...” I said, not willing to spill too much of the info. I knew Michelle had a big mouth and for a long time I thanked her for that, if you know what I mean, but sometimes her joy of bragging just wasn’t so joyful as one would think. Val didn’t need to know about Dice.

„Yea, I can see that. Do I know her?”

„Why? So you can kick her for stealing the spotlight away your sister?” Although I strongly believed Dice would kick her ass.

„So I know if I should prepare Val for the worst.”

„Nah. Don’t worry. She’s not coming back.” Completely mindlessly my eyes lowered on my wristwatch. 3 AM. Holly sh—„Hey, Michelle, thanks for the... uhmm... talk, but I have to go.”

„Take care, Brian.”

„You too...”

I said her I’ll be back shortly, I hadn’t even noticed how the time flew by, but I was noticing how I flew to my fucking house. I’ve been such a dick for the whole day and it hadn’t even been her fault. I was just confused and frustrated with myself and did what I do best – took it out on a completely innocent person. I was surprised I wasn’t partying it big with one of Johnny’s regulars and swimming in a barrel of Jack by now. So was that an improvement?

No, that wasn’t an improvement. It was all MJ. She was doing things to me... Things I never knew were possible. And I didn’t know if this was for the best. Very unwillingly I did admit to myself that she had grown on me, but I still was playing a stubborn ass and I will not and I repeat, will fucking not say that I love her. It won’t lead to a good end. We won’t live happily ever after, ‘cause, trust me when I tell you even when the story ends with the most cliche phrase of them all ‘and they lived happily ever after’ ... No. Cinderella got fucking fat, prince Charming knocked her up with five fucking kids, they divorced and now she’s trying to get the gooddamn alimony from him since he’s a one way to hell alcoholic.

That is not gonna happen.

Period.

But in the end why did one need the aproval of those three simple words? Weren’t the actions who spoke for themselves?

However my heart did sink to the pit of my stomach once I stormed through the front door and saw the food she’d made and the neat table setting. Where did she even get all this stuff to make it all so... beautiful? I didn’t own anything beautiful as far as I knew. My hand rubbed over my face as my inner self kept repeating what big of a dick I am. I know. Thanks. And there’s the lime tarte... You have to be fucking kidding me...

How could I make up for myself?

And where the hell even was she? Please, don’t tell me she’s—

Asleep on the couch... My heart skipped a beat or two and I swear, by now I was in actual physical pain from all the suffering I laid upon her. That’s how fucking sorry I was. I knelt down beside the couch to run my fingers lightly over her cheek.

„I’m so, so sorry, baby doll,” I murmured, taking her hand and raising up to my lips so I could lay a tender kiss on each and every inch of her soft skin.

„B-Brian?” Her eyes flustered open as she narrowed her eyes on me. „Where ... have you... been?” She mumbled sleepily, me still holding her hand up to my lips and now kissing her knuckles.

„I’m sorry, MJ... I know I’m a dick...” I whispered.

„What? No,” she shook her head, now sitting upright, „You’re not...”

„Oh, but I am,” I rolled my eyes, more at myself than at anyone else. „You do all these beautiful things, you even dress up and look absolutely mouthwatering by the way, but that’s not the point,” I shook my head to get the perverse thoughts out of my mind, „and I’m just constantly fucking up...”

„Wh—„

„No... Please, don’t deny it. I’m selfish, I know that,” I frowned as I kept on talking, looking at her deeply, „and because I’m selfish I don’t want to let you go...”

„What do you mean?”

„Exactly what it means. I want to leave everything behind and start from a clear slate,” It seemed she wasn’t following. Either because she was still asleep, or I was just simply not making sense, „I want a new beginning... with you.”

Dice’s POV

Before leaving Huntington Beach I had to tie some loose ends, which meant, I had to hold my promise and donate my hair to Rachel’s crazy hairdressing ideas. I can’t quite say I necessarily like what she did with my hair, ‘cause now the judge will take me even less seriously when I’ll walk in the court room with pink fucking hair, but what the hell. A promise was a promise.

Where did I go to? Well, my route consisted of hitchhiking my way to Las Vegas, since I’m Dice and gambling is what I do. Little did I know I’d quit the gambling completely once I arrive there. I can honestly admit the little hitchhiking adventure was the most fun I’d had in months. I caught three different cars on my way there, the third being a dude who took me in to live with him and in the end I kinda ended fucking him. But hey, no harm – no foul. He actually was the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, despite the humble thing he did when taking me under his caring wings, and throughout my stay there I figured assholes who admit they’re assholes are the worst kind of breed of human. That’s why I’m Buddha now. The kind of Buddha who’s constantly fighting it’s inner demon’s and trying not to pick up that knife and dug it deep in someone in order to satisfy the blood thirst I get from suppressing my anger.

However, his name was Jay, but I called him Jay the Humble, which pissed him off even more, since he was all about manly-man things. He was the straightest they come, a gym junkey, the 9 AM sports central kinda guy, an obvious man-whore and a fitness trainer with a surprising taste in good music, but an annoying taste in his midnight booty calls. You’d think living with a fitness trainer would keep you in shape? Not since I decided to go on a celibacy. Sex was the only sport I knew and admitted.

„I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?” Jay walked out of the bathroom, a light blue towel hanging dangerously low around his hips as he dried his short hair off with another same color towel. The dude had a body of a greek god, too bad he was too big of a dick for my entertainment. For a moment I considered writing the address of Burger King on a piece of paper and putting on the plate for him. Me and cooking? Not gonna happen, buddy. However I was trying to control my anger issues and decided to just ignore him and continue packing my bag. „You’re going somewhere?”

„I told you... I have a trial tomorrow,” I felt him come closer and put his strong hands on my hips. A trial I was positive I’m gonna win. For the whole past months I was digging through archives only to equip myself with everything I can possibly find on Malcolm Knoxville. And what I found was disturbingly surprising.

„If it’s tomorrow then why are you packing today?” He whispered in my ear in a seductive manner. Yea, sorry, you’re not getting any from me. I’m a good girl now. „You look so fucking tempting in this tight pencil skirt... I could fuck you right here, on the counter...”

„I don’t have time for it, Jay. I have a plane to catch,” I tugged a lost strand behind my ear, feeling his hard member teasing me. Or at least attempting to do so. My head was somewhere else for me to be turned on. Thinking about the mess I left behind in Huntington Beach.

„I still don’t get why you need to leave today...” he finally sighed, pulling away. Maybe ‘cause I need one single night where I don’t hear how the porn is being shot in the room behind the wall?

„I simply do,” I said spinning around in an attempt to find my leather jacket, but instead seeing those uncomfortable six inch heels I have to torture myself with. This outfit? The tight grey pencil skirt, a transparent lace blouse and slick black heels which I believed were originally invented as a torture device for super violent crimes? This was not Dice. However it was Lucy Reed. The one who I dug up from her grave oh so ‘politely’. Nah, not grave, it was more of a knock on her crack house door with a loud ‘bitch get up’, today we put on our armor and war paint.

„You’re coming back, right?” he asked as I slid into the slick pump heels. Why wouldn’t I come back? There wasn’t anything waiting for me back in Huntington Beach, I just needed to get there a day early to go through MJ’s statement with her. Not that she knew I was coming or anything, but I had a very nice conversation with Brian the other day to make sure he sees she goes to the court house even if that means taking her by hand or kidnapping or whatever Synyster Gates stunt he had to pull to drag her there. Sure I knew Malcolm will plead not guilty, which if you ask me, was just a waste of good ten seconds of my life.

„Why wouldn’t I come back?” I frowned, checking if I had all the necessities. A briefcase full of papers? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. My mind? Left in Huntington Beach.

„I don’t know... You just seem the type who doesn’t say goodbye.”

„And why would you be concerned if I went missing? You’re a man-whore, it’s not like a chick isn’t waiting behind the door for me to leave in order to come here and fuck your brains out,” And in fact, there was a girl waiting. And I barely knew the guy. That wouldn’t big a big deal for Dice, but since I’m Lucy Reed right now, I’m playing by the rules. My own set of course.

„I don’t know. You just seem cool enough to hang around,” he shrugged, walking up to the fridge. „And I’m not saying I won’t go after you if you don’t come back, so consider yourself warned miss Reed.”

„You wouldn’t,” I grinned, taking my bag and fixing the strap on my shoulder.

„Oh I would. Any sane man would for that matter,” He closed the fridge door and came closer only to lean over and push a lustful kiss on my lips. He pulled back, his eyes still lingering on my features. „besides you’re a good fuck. Now go, the cab’s waiting.” He turned me around and slapped my ass.

„And your fuck buddy,” I grinned as I looked over my shoulder to see the naughty grin on his face, „Okay, I’m going.”

I grabbed my leather jacket and out the door I was. I ignored the blondie outside and just flew down the stairs, literally, since running in these shoes wasn’t an option, and in not even a full hour I was sitting on the plane, flying first class.

Where did I get the money for the luxury? Well... I may or may not have modeled nude for an issue of Playboy. They really paid generously if I might add. Even wanted to seal a contract with me, but I just wasn’t that kinda gal’. It was just a one time thing. I was even surprised I fell under their categories with all the ink and the reddish-purple hair, not being their typical blonde with big tits.

Once I landed in LAX it was somewhere after 6 PM, and once I pulled up to Huntington Beach, it was around 8. Felt a bit nostalgic about the whole thing, this had been my home for three years after all. And MJ had been my friend for fifteen, but knowing me, I don’t leave anything un-fucked. I’m just not that type of gal. I smirked to myself.

As I handed the driver a solid Ben Franklin and stepped out in the warm evening sun of California and the parking lot of Johnny’s, I couldn’t miss Frank’s gaping mouth. Felt kinda nice. I walked up to the big guy and he instantly pulled me in a firm hug. „I should kick your ass...” He whispered against my hair.

„Get in line, buddy,” I smiled once he put me back on the ground. „I need to talk to MJ, is she in tonight?”

„Yea-yea, but she’s busting her ass off. The new chick Johnny hired really blows... that’s of course between me and you speaking,” He winked.

„Of course,” I smiled and patted on his shoulder, squeezing through a couple of regulars, hugging them while passing by and cracking a few of Dice’s dirty jokes, before I managed my way to the bar. MJ seemed like she was about to kill someone, well now she felt my pain when it was her first week at this joint. I couldn’t bare but smirk as I walked up to the bar.

Her head was laid low and I wouldn’t be surprised she was texting Brian to come and kill a few of these bastards. Were they an item finally? I sure hoped so. She needed someone to look over her and he needed someone to tame him. One of the patron’s offered a seat for me on the high worn out leather stool and I gladly accepted it. So this was why girls dressed up... So men would be polite around them. Figure quick enough, right?

„What can I get you?” She sighed, straightening up, but not taking her eyes from the phone.

Hmm... What could she get me? I was kinda in need of marijuana and those lovely banana’s she made, but I knew they didn’t serve those here. A sly smirk took over my face, „I’d like a tall glass of you... And make it a double.”

Notes

Dice's hair
Dice's outfit