I don’t wake up in my room the next morning.

At first, I panic, thinking that I’m somehow back in Anthony’s room. But after a moment, my mind begins to register the events of the previous night. Gus must have told Matt that I wanted to stay with Michelle and Brian; I was most likely in the guest room she had told me about earlier.

The digital clock on the nightstand reads 11:41. It’s a little late to be up, but no one has come and gotten me yet. I look around the room, taking it in. The bed sheets are black and red, and the curtains are a matching crimson. They are heavy enough to block out the bright, California sun. The rest of the room is pretty plain, considering it was nothing more than a guest room; people probably rarely used it as anything more. It made me wonder if it would be staying that way; would I really be moving in with them for the rest of the summer?

The thought, for some reason, excited me. Even though I had grown used to referring to my room back at Matt and Val’s house as “my room”, it didn’t really hold that sort of significance to me. Maybe this would be my fresh start – maybe things would be different now – better, even.

That’s why I felt so excited.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on my door. I jump violently – my anxiety levels were clearly still running high. Michelle pokes her head in and I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” she says cheerfully. She slips in and shuts the door quietly behind her. I move over a little so there’s room for her to sit down on the bed beside me. “The guys are going to be here in a little over half an hour.” She sounds nervous now. I couldn’t really blame her; I was just as bad. “You do know what’s going on, right?” I nod, recalling the conversation she and Brian had in the kitchen. “Right. Well, I went and got you some of your clothes from Matt’s house. They’re over there.” She points to a duffel bag at the foot of the bed that I hadn’t noticed earlier. “And the bathroom is right through that door. So go ahead and get ready quickly – there’s still some leftovers from breakfast.” I nod again.

She hesitates for a minute before kissing my forehead gently.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything, okay?” I nod for the third time and she sends me a reassuring smile that I try my best to return in full. After smoothing down my hair one last time, she steps out, leaving me alone.

I crawl out of the king-sized bed and begin leafing through the clothes Michele had brought me. I pull out the first few items I see – a gray sweatshirt and a pair of shorts – before I notice a couple things at the bottom of the bag that I had definitely not expected to see.

One of them is my old stuffed bear that I had brought down to California with me. I had only just taken it out of its hiding place under my bed the other day, when I came back from Anthony’s house. I can’t help but hug it to my chest as I pull out the next item, which was also hidden under my bed.

The photo of Matt – the only one I had brought with me, of the hundreds I had taken – seems to stare back at me. I almost felt like I couldn’t look at it the same way – Matt had, so far, not been anything like the man I always pictured in my head whenever I looked at this picture. I wondered how on earth Michelle could’ve possibly thought to pack this as well. I silently decide that I will ask her later – after everyone leaves.

The last thing that catches me completely off guard, is a camera. It isn’t anything too fancy – honestly, I’ve owned ones a hell of a lot more high-tech than this one. No, this one is an old-fashioned one – a model I’ve been looking at for months now, but had never been able to afford on my own. I had been saving up for one for ages; how did she know?

I pull out the rectangular device carefully, treating it almost as if it were some sort of fragile, prized artifact. I turn it around in my hands for a moment, before I realize there’s a small note attached to the flash. As soon as I read it, I begin to feel guilty for everything I had said or thought before –

“I meant to give this to you sooner. I’m sorry it slipped my mind – I hope this can make up for how shitty I’ve been since you arrived.

Love, your father, Matt.”

In a way, it bothered me that he still seemed to insist on using the “father” title, which I still wasn’t even sure he deserved. What also bothered me was how he knew how much I wanted this camera. I suppose Gus had been telling the truth when he said Jim and Rhonda have always been in contact with Matt – they probably told him how badly I wanted this, and that if anything goes wrong, it would win me over.

Well, he was wrong to think that.

I almost want to throw the camera across the room, but I know that I may never get another one like this any time soon. I can’t pass up this opportunity. So instead, I tear up the note, and flush the remains down the toilet before I get in the shower.

Matt was going to have to do a hell of a lot more than this – giving me a camera that he only knew I wanted because of my real parents – if he wanted to make it up to me.

As much as I want to take my precious time in the shower, I decide against it; I’m still really hungry and the idea of food is beginning to sound more appealing than ever. I step out and get dressed, throwing my hair up into a damp, messy ponytail.

I practically stumble downstairs, still feeling weak from lack of nutrition. Thankful, as soon as I take a seat at the dining room table, Michelle sets a plate piled with scrambled eggs and hash browns. As soon as her back is turned, I begin to choke it all down desperately.

When she notices I’m done, she sits across the table from me. She watches me for a moment, lips pursed, as I drag my fork lazily across my nearly barren plate. I can tell she wants to talk to me about something. I’m scared as to what it could be.

“I talked to your brother last night,” she begins. I stop playing with the stray piece of cheese left on my plate. I don’t bother looking up at her. “He told me how he doesn’t think you coming to California was the best thing for you.” I inhale sharply. “He says you’ve been more introverted than usual – that you’ve been locking yourself in your room, and you haven’t been eating much.” Before I can defend myself, she continues. “Now, he also said that he and Matt may be part of the problem. He said that they haven’t been treating you like you should be being treated – like someone who’s almost in high school.

“I understand that you don’t think yours and Matt’s relationship is salvageable, and to be quite honest, I can’t exactly blame you. But at the same time, I do think you and Matt need to sit down and try and… talk.”

I’m not sure if I can do that. I have never been real good with words, especially when talking to people directly. And now that my confidence level was at an all-time-low; now that my walls have not only been knocked down, but completely demolished – the thought of talking to anyone outside of my comfort-zone – especially Matt – sent a new feeling of fear ricocheting throughout my body.

Michelle must’ve noticed the look of distress painted on my face, because she rests a comforting hand on mine. I have no choice but to look up at her. My eyes begin to fill with tears. “Honey, you don’t have to do it alone,” she tells me gently. “I understand Matt can be scary sometimes, but he’ll listen to you – I know he will.”

She doesn’t understand. How could she, after all, when I haven’t even told her the real reason why I felt like I couldn’t talk to him?

Suddenly, I hear someone clear their throat behind me, and I jump violently, knocking my fork to the floor. I turn around and see Brian standing in the kitchen doorway, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Er… I’d hate to interrupt,” he says, getting over my awkward reaction. “But we’re all kind of waiting on you guys…” I frown.

“The guys are here already?” I ask. My voice is hoarse from crying so much last night; it even hurts a little. I attempt to clear it, but that just seems to make it worse.

“I’ll get you some water,” I hear Michelle mutter, as Brian nods in reply to my question.

“They’ve been here for a good twenty minutes. We were just waiting for you to finish eating.” He eyes my plate for a moment. “And it looks like you have.”

Michelle returns with the glass of water, which I down as quick as I can without choking.

“Are you ready?” she asks me quietly. I shrug.

I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

~

“Matt’s not here yet?”

Johnny is the first one to speak up when we get downstairs. Brian’s little in-home studio is pretty cozy; there are three leather-couches arranged in a semi-circle in the center of the room, and a whole wall lined with guitars.

Zack smiles at me as soon as he sees me and motions for me to sit beside him. I can’t help but hesitate a little – while he had never given me a reason not to like him, I still didn’t know him that well, though I suppose that is partially my fault. Not wanting to be rude however, I sit next to him anyway. But I can’t help when I tense up when he greets me with a quick side-hug.

“So what’s going on?” Johnny pipes up again. “Why are Autumn and Michelle down here?” Brian runs a hand through his hair nervously and glances down at his wife, who is perched on the coffee table in the center of the couches.

“I don’t know if we can start without Matt,” he mumbles. Zack pulls his iPhone out of his front pocket.

“Want me to try calling him?” Brian glances one more time at Michelle before nodding.

“Yeah, sure.”

He gets up and walks away for a minute to try calling him. After a couple seconds, I can hear the low hum of his voice talk to Matt on the other end. Soon, the conversation becomes heated, and eventually, it ends with Matt hanging up on him. He sighs and trudges back over to us.

“Any luck?” He shrugs.

“He kept demanding why you were calling an emergency band meeting – I told him I honestly had no idea, and he didn’t really seem to believe me,” Zack explains. “Why are we here?”

“I don’t know if I can start without Matt being here,” Brian says, and he raises an eyebrow at him.

“Why is it so damn important if Matt’s here or not?” he demands, clearly growing frustrated with the amount of secrecy going on with him.

I can tell Brian is beginning to grow even more anxious, and so is Michelle. She fidgets nervously; runs her hands through her light brown hair and picks at her nails.

Suddenly, I hear a door slam from upstairs, and I can tell everyone else can too. The basement door swings open and Matt comes pounding down the steps, a scowl printed on his face.

“Alright, I’m here. What the fuck do you want?” he asks angrily. He looks around at everyone for a moment before sitting on the only unoccupied couch in the entire room.

“Glad you could make it,” Brian mumbles, rolling his eyes.

“What the hell is going on, Brian?” Matt growls, glancing somewhat nervously between Michelle and me.

“Matt has something to tell you,” Brian says, completely ignoring him. “It’s pretty important.” Zack and Johnny both direct their attention towards Matt.

“Brian…” he starts warningly.

“Okay, does someone want to please explain what the fuck is going on?” Zack looks between the two men angrily, before looking over at Michelle, and then me. I shrink under his gaze, and he seems to notice; his expression softens a little and he pats my leg reassuringly. I resist the urge to pull away.

“Brian,” Matt growls. “Can I talk to you? Alone?”

“No,” he retorts, folding his arms across his chest determinedly. “Anything you can say to me, you can say to everyone else.”

“I just don’t think now is a good time.” Brian laughs humorlessly.

“And when will it be a good time, huh Matt? When the twins have gone back to Washington? When it’s too late to care anymore? This has gone on for long enough, Matt – you need to own up to your past and tell the god damn truth.”

Everyone looks at him curiously and expectantly. He shifts nervously under their gaze and I almost feel bad for him.

Almost.

“Matt?”

Everyone turns to look at me. Why are they looking at me?

Oh, because I was the one who spoke up in the first place.

“Matt, please just tell them.” My voice is barely louder than a whisper. It can’t go any louder than that either – it’s pretty much gone.
Matt continues to stare at me for a moment before sighing and running his hands down his face. I often notice Gus doing something similar whenever he was stressed or upset – I guess he must’ve gotten that from him.

“I lied,” he finally mutters.

“About what?” Johnny questions him almost immediately.

“About the twins’ mother.” Zack raises an eyebrow at him, and then he looks over at me questioningly.

‘Did you know?’ he mouths. I hesitate for a moment before nodding. The disappointment that flashes across his eyes almost feels like I’m being stabbed in the chest.

“I said I didn’t know who she was – that she was just some girl I slept with before I started dating Val… But that’s not true.” He looks up at Michelle. She doesn’t look away. I have to admire her for that – if someone like Matt was looking at me that way, I would’ve probably shied away almost immediately. But she holds her ground; she doesn’t let the tears in her eyes spill over just yet. “But I did.”

I can tell from the looks in both Johnny’s and Zack’s eyes that it’s finally clicking in their heads – that everything is finally beginning to make sense. They exchange knowing glances before looking over at Matt, waiting for him to confirm it.

He does.

“And she’s sitting right in front of me.”

Notes

A/N: I am sooo sorry I didn't update this story in over a week. I was trying to get it caught up on Mibba, so now both stories are completely up to speed and I can post the same chapter each time I update.

Updates for this story may continue to be a little slow however, since I'm sort of stuck on one chapter and I kind of feel like I need to go back and rewrite a few others.

Hope you all enjoyed

~WOLFY~