He's Forbidden, as am I

Brian's hand fumbled around the nightstand as he blindly searched for the off button on his alarm clock. He yawned and stretched once it was found, and climbed out of bed. Time to go back to work, another day, another dollar. He pulled himself to the bathroom to shower, and get ready for the day. Emerging about twenty minutes later, a smile came out on his face when he heard Slipknot blasting downstairs. Tammy was awake, and it was nice to know they had similar taste in music. Brian made his way downstairs, his smile getting wider when he saw her rocking out to Psychosocial as she made breakfast. However, that smile didn't last very long once his mind started to wander to places it shouldn't go again. Trying to ignore how great her ass looked in those short cutoff denim shorts, he put the smile back on his face as he walked over to the already made coffee on the counter. "Morning." he greeted, catching her completely off guard.

Tammy whipped around, eyes wide, the butter knife she was using extended as she prepared to defend herself. "Whoa," Brian caught her hand that had a death grip on the knife, "it's just me." he said, lowering her hand as he pulled the knife out of her grip. Tammy took a few deep breaths, placing a hand over her racing heart. "Don't sneak up on me like that." she said softly as her heart slowed to normal. "I'm sorry." Brian apologized, placing the knife on the counter. He didn't mean to, but he knew he needed to watch that. Johnny warned him about startling her, and how it could trigger a sudden burst of rage, or another flashback. Tammy gave him a nod before picking the knife back up, and continuing what she was doing. Hopefully it won't always be like this. She hated being so jumpy, but she couldn't help it. She was conditioned in fear.

"So, what's cookin' good lookin'?" Brian playfully tried to change the mood of the room. A small giggle escaped her, and he didn't miss the pink tint that flushed her cheeks. "Food," is all she told him, "so go sit down and wait. It's almost done." Tammy shooed him to the kitchen island that had a couple of stools on the other side. "But I hate waiting." Brian pouted a little. "Awe, but good things come to those who wait." she mocked his pout, patting his cheek lightly with her hand. Even though he didn't want to, Brian took his cup of coffee, and sat down. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't entirely comfortable with her making his meals for him. That wasn't what she was here for. He wanted her to enjoy the rest of her teenage years, not feel obligated to cook for him. "Here you go," Tammy smiled as she placed the plate in front of him, "I made a lunch for you too." she said as she turned away to clean up the breakfast mess.

"You don't have to do all this." Brian told her once she joined him. "Do what?" she looked at him a little confused as she sat down with just a cup of coffee. "Cook for me, and stuff. I don't want you to feel like you owe me." he explained. "I don't mind," she said as she flipped through the news paper, "I like cooking. Kind of have too if I want to do it as a career." she said with a small smile. Brian gave her a nod, but frowned. "Are you not eating?" He really wasn't comfortable with her making food for him, and not herself. "I'm not always hungry in the morning." she told him finally finding the section of the newspaper she wanted, the funnies. "But-" Brian started to protest before the look she gave him stopped him. "Will you relax? When I'm hungry, I'll eat," she said with a small smile, "So shut up, and eat your fucking breakfast." she shook her head as she went back to her paper. "Fine," Brian laid on the sarcastic sass, "excuse me for being concerned about you eating." he said before digging into probably the best breakfast he's ever had. "I won't starve." she chuckled with another shake of her head.

Brian finished his food, and tossed his napkin and silverware on his plate. "I'm going to get so fat with you living here." he said, getting a giggle out of her as he stood to put his dishes in the sink. "So what are you going to do all day with the house to yourself?" he asked, resting on his forearms as he leaned forward on the island. "I don't know. I have a session with Dr. Doolittle later. Till then I thought maybe I'd snoop around, see where you hide your porn and drugs." she gave him a grin, and without missing a beat, Brian pushed himself back off the island. "Well the porn is between my mattress and box spring. I'm not telling you where my drugs are. That shit's too expensive to share." he said as he refilled his coffee, making Tammy choke on hers. "Don't say shit like that when I'm taking a drink." she said between coughs. "You set yourself up for it." Brian grinned as he sipped on his coffee. "Yeah, and I'm going to rip that smile right off your face." she gave him her own sweet smile with a tilt of her head.

Brian shook his head with a tisk. "Violence doesn't solve everything." he told her. "Neither does talking out your ass. What's your point?" she asked as she went back to flipping through her news paper. "Well I would explain, but I have to get going." he said, glancing at his watch. "Yeah right, you just don't have one." Tammy looked up at him with a smirk. "I do. It's just some of us have to get back to school," he continued to avoid explanation, "Which reminds me, when do you want to go back? The principle said you didn't have to until next week." he said, successfully changing the conversation direction. "I'll go stir crazy by then." she told him as she got up, and walked to the fridge. "Well he wants to talk to us your first day back, so just let me know." he informed her. "About what?" she asked a little confused as she handed him the bagged lunch she made for him. "I don't know, something about graduation." he said, watching her eyes go wide. "What about graduation?" she sounded kind of panicked. "I don't know," he repeated, "He didn't go into detail." he explained. "There's no way I can wait till next week. This will drive me crazy." she ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "You want to go back tomorrow?" he asked, but didn't get a response right away.

Tammy stood there, staring at the floor, in deep though for a minute as she chewed on her bottom lip. She wasn't really ready to go back there. Everyone knew her secrets now. She wasn't ready to feel their stares, and hear their whispers. However, she knew she couldn't wait till next week. Graduation was such a huge part of their plan. "How about Friday?" Brian suggested when she didn't answer him. He had a pretty good idea what was going through her head right now, and he really couldn't blame her for not wanting to go back right away. "It's just one day, and you'll have the whole weekend before you have to go back again." he explained further. Slower really probably is better. Teenagers suck sometimes. "Yeah," Tammy slowly nodded her head, "yeah, lets do that." she agreed, meeting his eyes again.

Brian gave her a small smile and a nod as she relaxed a little. "Alright, I'll set everything up," he glanced at his watch again, "but I really have to go now." he said, heading to the living room to grab his keys, and briefcase off the table by the couch. "Wait! I have something for you." Tammy took off up the stairs before he could respond. She wasn't up there long, and he couldn't help but smile as she slid down the banister to save time. "Here you go." she handed him a couple pieces of paper. "What's this?" he asked, glancing at the papers. "My song." she said, and his eyes snapped to her in surprise. "You didn't have to do this." he told her. He wasn't expecting it anyway. "Johnny thought I should," she shrugged a little, "get some things out." she finished off kind of soft, looking away from his gaze. Like everyone in school, he also knew all her secrets, and she was feeling a little too exposed right now. Brian tucked it away in his briefcase, sensing her uneasiness. "I look forward to reading it," he said, a half a smirk coming out as he looked back at her, "Don't have too much fun by yourself." he teased, getting a smile as she brought her eyes up from the floor. "Have you hung out with me? I'm awesome." she jokingly stroked her own ego, getting a chuckle as Brian walked out the door.

Tammy stood there for a moment, not really sure what she was going to do today. Well, she knew what was the first thing she was going to do, rushing to the front door, and locking it. Yes, she knew he was in jail, but it still made her feel better. Tammy walked back into the kitchen to clean up the breakfast mess, and started the dishwasher. Johnny didn't specify when he would be by, so she figured she'd probably just play some video games until he got here. She did want to look around though. She wasn't going to be snoopy, but she wanted to get familiar with the place. Kimmie said her mother's stuff was in the basement, and she wanted to make sure it was all there. She got a good look around her room at 4:30 this morning when yet another night terror woke her up. She found the duffle bag full of money, and her diary stuffed in the bottom drawer of the dresser, not a penny of it spent.

It was kind of reassuring that Kimmie didn't spend any of it. That meant that mother of hers was really trying to do better. Maybe Tammy would try to bite her tongue around her. It was going to be hard. She hated the woman, but she has a disease. Alcoholism is a disease, and she was trying to get better. She didn't really need to make the woman feel like shit every time she saw her. Maybe things will work out, and they could actually get along with each other. Something Tammy never thought would ever happen. Victoria better not fuck up.

Tammy shut the light off in the kitchen as she left. Honestly, it was a little weird being in her teacher's house. She was sure that would wear off eventually, so she just tried to act like normal. Even though this situation was far from normal. She was kind of excited to get to know him more personally, but that also made her nervous. Her "crush" on him was already getting deeper just from what he's done for her. How the hell was she suppose to keep herself from full blown love? An infatuation was much easier to control. Maybe she could talk to Johnny about it. Without giving anything away, of course. She wasn't exactly comfortable discussing his friend with him. She wasn't worried he would say anything to Brian. By law, he can't, but it was still awkward.

Tammy made her way to the door next to the stairs, assuming it was the basement. However, when she opened the door, she was met with just a closet. There was another door in the kitchen she remembered seeing, and decided to check that out. Nope, the garage. There looked like there was another car parked in here. She noticed he didn't park in here, and now she knew why. Both cars wouldn't fit in here. Apparently this one was more important to him as it was also covered. She thought about peeking, but decided against it. She was looking for something, and didn't want to accidently damage it somehow.

Shutting the door, Tammy left the kitchen, and paused looking around with her hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed on a door right next to the kitchen, a small smirk coming out as she shook her head. She walked right past that a few times, and didn't notice. She swears she would loose her head sometimes if it wasn't attached. Tammy opened the door, and flicked the light on, smiling at the carpeted stairs leading down. It was a finished basement, and she decided to just check the first room she saw. That was until something moving caught her eye in a room at the end of the hall. She walked down, and flicked the light on. Her eyes widened as she stepped in. The room was practically a small music studio. There were guitars on stands, a huge drum kit set up, microphones, and a computer with a screen saver moving around on it.

Tammy let out a sarcastic huff as her eyes scanned the room. "In the past, my ass." she mumbled with a shake of her head as she shut off the light, and left the room. If it really was like he says, then he wouldn't have all that set up. He was obviously still writing and recording. Maybe she could talk him into trying again. Tammy made her way back to the stairs. There was a room right next too them, and thankfully the only one she had to check. There stacked neatly against the walls was her mother's stuff. She walked over grabbing garment bags as she made sure all the totes, trunks, and boxes were there. Once sure, she shut the light off, and carried the bags up to flights of stairs to her room. She was basically the same size as her mother, and there were business clothes along with others that she could wear. She laid the bags on her bed, and opened one. The familiar sent flooded out, and Tammy closed her eyes, fighting back the tears. With a deep breath, she took the clothes out of each bag, and hung them up in her closet. She folded up the bags, and put them on the shelf at the top of the closet.

Turning on her Xbox and TV, Tammy grabbed her controller, and plopped down on her bed. Maybe she could get some Left 4 Dead in before Dr. Doolittle showed up. Of course after about an hour of nothing but dead lobbies, she gave up, and shut everything off. Her neck was starting to hurt looking up at that TV anyway. It was really too big for this room, and she decided to swap it out for Brian's downstairs. It was smaller by a lot. He'd probably like her TV better anyway, and his would be more appropriate for her room. Tammy unhooked everything from the TV, and carried it downstairs. She set it on the floor next to Brian's before unhooking everything from his TV, and carrying it upstairs. It was a good thing they were both high def; she would have never been able to carry a standard up and down these stairs.

Tammy skipped back down the stairs, and put her TV on the stand. Actually, he could have this one for all she cared. The fewer things she had that reminded her of him, the better. She crouched down behind the stand, and hooked everything back up before backing out on her hands and knees. She grabbed his remote off the coffee table, and was headed for the stairs when the sound of the lock on the front door stopped her in her tracks. Tammy's heart started to race as her mind went to the worst. She dove behind a chair when she heard the door open, and hid, clenching tightly to the remote in her hands. He's out, and he found her, her mind raced with the worst. He was going to take her away she thought, her heart about to burst out of her chest. The door closed, and she listened as footsteps started to close in on her. No, not now, she wasn't going to let him take her.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she jumped up ready to bash him over the head with the remote. "Whoa, it's just me," Johnny grabbed her wrist in midair, "It's just me." he repeated softly as her wide eyes blinked a few time. "How did you get in?" she asked at a whisper as he slowly started to lower her arm. "I have a key," he said, letting go of her wrist once he knew he wasn't going to get hit over the head with that remote, "We all have keys to each other's houses." he explained a little further as he set his briefcase on the coffee table. Tammy plopped down in the chair she was hiding behind. She set the remote on the arm, and rested her head in her hands, taking a few breaths as she tried to calm herself. "We need to get that under control," Johnny said, referring to her PTSD as he opened his case, and pulled out a white paper bag, "and since your not fond of taking pills, I thought we would try this." he said, tossing the bag to her once she looked up at him.

Tammy opened the bag, and peeked in. "Is that..." but she didn't bother finishing the question. He was already nodding. "Full plant therapy," he told her as huge smile came out on her face, "Looks like it's already working." he couldn't help but grin. "Sweeeeet," she sang out, grabbing the remote off the arm of the chair, "I'll be right back." she said jumping up, and running upstairs. She set the bag and remote on the nightstand in her room, and grabbed her remote. "Did Brian get a new TV?" she heard Johnny holler up the stairs. Tammy left the room, and jumped down the stairs two at a time. "Nope, it's mine." she landed at the bottom, her feet making a rather loud thud.

Johnny chuckled a little as she hopped the back of the couch, and laid down. "So, how was your first night in your new home?" he asked as he sat in the chair Tammy was just hiding behind. "Not too bad. Although it's a little weird being in my teachers house." she told him. "Well, you guys have a pretty casual relationship at school right?" he asked, getting a shrug and a yeah, "Just act like you do there. I'm sure the weirdness will fade." he told her. "I guess that might work," she said kind of soft, not really sure if it would, "Um, you're kind of an expert on the human mind and feelings right?" she asked, not really sure how to approach what she wanted to know. "I wouldn't call myself an expert, necessarily." Johnny chuckled a little. "Yeah, but you have more knowledge than the rest of us?" she rephrased the question. "You could say that." he said starting to wonder where she was going with this.

Tammy hesitated for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. "Is there anyway a person can stop themselves from developing feelings for something or someone?" she asked, hoping to not give too much away. Johnny cocked a brow even though he was looking at the back of her head. "Well you can't really stop feelings. You can only suppress them, but that's not always a good thing to do, he told her, "Is this about Brian?" he decided to go for broke. "What?! Who said anything about Brian?" she tried to play it off, feeling her heart pick up. "You're a horrible liar." he pointed out. "Nobody said anything about him." she sat up, trying her best poker face. "I read your poem." he confessed. That's when the eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped a little. "He let you read that?!" Johnny could see the anger starting to come out on her face. "No," he responded right away, "He actually tried very hard to get it back from me and Jimmy." he said, trying to hide his smile as her eyes got even wider. "Jimmy read it too?!" Well this just keeps getting better and better.

Tammy let out a defeated sigh, and plopped her head in her hands. Well the cat's out of the bag now. "Look, he didn't let us read it. Jimmy took it from him, and I read over his shoulder," he explained to her, not wanting her to be mad at Brian, "Honestly, it probably would have gotten ripped if he tried to get it back from him." he chuckled, his smile fading quickly when he didn't get the same reaction from her, just a blank stare. Johnny cleared his throat, and tried a different approach to making her feel better. "He's oblivious if that helps." he said, and she relaxed, but just a little. "It's not like I'm really in love with my teacher," she stood up, and started pacing, "He wanted us to write that stupid poem," Johnny always found these little rants entertaining as she went back and forth. She was so easy to read, "I'm not thinking about love right now. It's the furthest thing from my mind," she paused her pace for a moment, "and yes, maybe I do have a small, little, teeny tiny crush on him, but that's not love." she defended herself, not really liking the smile on Dr. Doolittle's face right now. Apparently he knew better. "It was Kimmie's idea." she sighed out, trying to pass the blame as she dropped back down on the couch, and once again had her head in her hands.

Johnny gave her a sympathetic look, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, I'm not going to say anything. Jimmy's not going to say anything," she finally looked up at him, "Just keep doing what you're doing, and he'll never know. Just remember That he is your teacher, and he can get into a lot of trouble if anything happened." he said getting an eye roll. "Please, like that would ever happen," she brushed that off as she laid back down on the couch, "He could do so much better." she mumbled. "I wouldn't sell yourself too short." Johnny said simply as he sat back in his chair.

Tammy glanced at him briefly over her shoulder with narrow eyes. "Whatever," she turned back around, brushing him off, "Why does Brian have a mini music studio in his basement?" she changed the topic. "I thought we established that I ask the questions?" Johnny asked with a small smirk. "I'm sorry, are you new here?" she countered. It was also established that she liked to do this through back and forth conversation. Johnny chuckled a little, and shook his head. "Because at heart he's a musician, we all are. You have no idea how many songs we have recorded down there." he told her, hoping he wouldn't have to go too far into this subject. "He doesn't seem to like to talk about it, and if it really is in the past like he says, then you guys wouldn't still be writing music." she continued on. "What are you trying to get at?" he asked, wanting to get away from this topic. It wasn't his story to tell. "Why doesn't he like to talk about something that's obviously still very important to him?"

Whelp, so much for not getting too much into this. He wasn't entirely sure how Brian would feel about him telling her this. "You know, we're suppose to be discussing you." Johnny continued to avoid the subject. Of course when Tammy sat up and looked at him again, she was starting to get irritated with his stalling. "Well I'm living with him now, so I should know more about him." she pointed out. She really didn't want to ask Brian. He seemed uncomfortable with the subject, but the curiosity was killing her. Johnny let out a sigh, and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine, but just as I don't talk to anyone about what you say, you can't tell anyone what I say. Deal?" he asked, getting a nod. "He doesn't like to talk about the band because he blames it's fall for the failure of his relationship with this girl, Michelle," he started to explain, "They got together around the time I joined the band, and last year on his birthday he proposed to her." Tammy felt her heart start to clench, not liking the idea of where this could go. "In front of all his friends and family, she shot him down. Said she was suppose to marry a rock star, not a teacher." Of course it went right there. "She said she was already seeing someone else, and he just stood up, didn't say a word to anyone, and walked away. No one could reach him for days. He took it pretty hard, and he's still not really completely over it yet." Tammy's heart sank for him. How the hell could someone do that to him? So what he's a teacher. That shouldn't matter. He was a wonderful man, that obviously deserves so much better. Her loss.

The sound of the door opening quickly drew their attention off topic, and Johnny saw Tammy tense up. "Relax, there's only one person it could be." he assured her. Actually there was four, but three of them were at work. "Tammy?" Zack's voice sounded out. "I should have thought of that," Johnny chuckled, recalling his near death experience with the TV remote, "In here!" he hollered back at him. "What's up Short-shit?" Zacky grinned as he walked into the living. "Just having a session that you rudely interrupted." Johnny just rolled his eyes at him. "Short-sit? That's so lame. Mine's so much better." Tammy giggled. "I agree." Johnny said, giving Zack the finger. "Whatever, you're still short." Zack said sitting in the chair on the other side of the couch. "Yeah, keep beating that dead horse." Johnny brushed him off.

"So, what's going on?" Tammy asked, knowing he was here for a reason. He was in uniform, so obviously he was working. "Why's there gotta be something going? I can't check, and see how your doing?" Zack acted offended, but she wasn't buying it. "Your stepdad had another bail hearing today." he told her. "And?" she asked, the worry creeping up in her eyes. "And I made sure he was denied again." he gave her a smile, and she relaxed. "How long you going to be able to do that?" Johnny asked, knowing he would have more hearings. Dr. Douche Bag waived his right to a speedy trial. Which means he could sit in jail for months, with hearing after hearing until he finds a judge to grant him bail. That, and he can get time knocked off his sentence for time served. "I don't know, a few more times at least." Zack said, scratching the back of his head. It was only a matter of time before he got out. The dick had great lawyers.

"Anyway you can get me a visit with this guy?" Johnny asked, getting a confused look from Tammy. Why the hell would he want to talk to that mother fucker? "I was just thinking if I could talk to him, maybe I can analyze a little, and help get a few more bails denied." he answered her silent question. "You'd do that?" she asked a little surprised. She's never had anyone, except Kimmie, go out of their way for her like this. She really didn't know what to think about it all. "Yeah," he told her like she should have know that, "You're not alone in this. Anything we can do to keep that piece of shit behind bars, and you safe, we're going to do." he said, Zack nodding in agreement. Tammy sat there, quiet for a moment. She really didn't know what to say. For once she truly felt safe, and it was kind of new to her. She wasn't sure she knew how to live not looking over her shoulder all the time, but she could try. "Thank you." she whispered.

Notes

So for some reason I got this wild hair up my ass at 3 in the morning to write, and in a matter of a few hours I shit out over 2500 words, and finished this chapter. Don't ask me how, I have no idea :D But anyway hope you like it. I'm going to bed now. Enjoy, and as always thanks for sticking with me. I will finish this story eventually.