Where Have You Been All My Life?
Ch. 17- Back Home
*~*Kamalei’s POV*~*
I went thru security like a zombie. I wanted nothing to do with this. I wanted to stay so bad. I made my way to my gate and sat, waiting for boarding to start.
What would happen if I just never came home? Would he really throw me out? Would he really just leave my life? Of course not. It’s Micah. He would come after me. He would stalk my mother. He would harass anyone I ever knew. He would find me and beat me to death. I can only imagine what kind of a welcome I’m going to get when I get home.
I felt a buzz in my pocket, and pulled out my phone.
You better be on your way home. I’m not fucking playing Kamalei. ~Micah
I knew it. I thought about not responding, but decided it wasn’t in my best interest.
I’m at the airport now waiting for the plane. I should be home in 6 or 7 hours.~KLei
You better be. ~Micah
I wanted to throw my phone across the terminal and just run out. I composed myself and looked for some music on my phone to play. I found Chapter Four, and let it fill my headphones, getting lost in my brother’s voice.
All these years and I never knew it was my brother.
Just as I was really getting into Brian and Zacky’s guitar riffs, I was rudely cut off by another text.
I miss you already. I wish you would change your mind. ~Z
I stared at the text, lost. He told me ‘Don’t leave’ as we had pulled out of the driveway. I could feel my eyes start to get blurry.
I wish I could Z. I have to take care of my responsibilities. Please don’t make this harder for me. ~KLei
You could stay and it’d be easy. ~Z
Zacky what do you want? ~KLei
I looked at the text I sent. I waited for him to message back, but after 5 minutes, I realized how harsh that probably was. I had no reason to lash out at him. I was mad at myself for having to go.
I want you to stay. ~Z
I read his text and burst into tears. I wanted to stay. No one understood why I had to go. Deep down I don’t think I even understood why I had to go.
I can’t Zack. I have to go. You will come to see me tho, right? ~KLei
Even if I have to fly by myself I will come to see you. I’m just sad you had to go now ~Z
Me too Z. I miss all of you but I have to get on the plane now. I’ll text you when I land in Maui ok? ~KLei
Alright Kamalei. Be careful my clumsy girl… ~Z
I will my Zacky boy ~KLei
I smiled at his texts as I shut the phone to airplane mode as I stood in line to board. This would be a long ride home and I planned on sleeping. I would probably be up all night fighting Micah. Getting to my seat, I set my phone back to my music and quickly fell asleep for the entire plane ride home.
The flight attendant gently woke me up from my awkward position in my seat. We had landed in Maui at about 8pm. I gathered my things and got off the plane. I turned my phone back on to its normal settings, instantly seeing Zacky’s previous texts from California making me smile. I walked down the escalator to the baggage claim to find my bags, finding Matt’s phone number and dialing.
“Kamalei? Are you home?” he answered.
“Yes Matt. I just landed in Maui. I’m on my way to get my bags now. Is everyone there?” I asked hoping that I wouldn’t need to make a million phone calls as everyone wanted one when I got home.
“Yeah for the most part. Just Zack isn’t here.” He said.
“Oh, ok. Well speaker phone?” I asked him as I heard him switch it on.
“Kamalei’s on the phone!” He yelled.
“LEI-LEI!! MY BABY!!!” Jimmy yelled excitedly over everyone else.
“Hey everyone! I made it to Maui! I miss you guys already!” I said as I watched the bags begin spinning around.
“WE MISS YOU TOO!! WE LOVE YOU!!” Everyone yelled back.
It made my heart melt hearing them. Less than a day ago, I was there. I was with them. They were my new family and I loved them.
“I love you too!” I said back as someone grabbed my shoulder painfully.
“Who the fuck you love?” Micah said as I turned around to face him.
“Who is that?” I could hear Matt say turning off the speaker phone.
“Micah, it’s my brother. What?! I can’t tell my brother I love him?” I spit back at Micah.
“Yeah right. That’s not your brother. It’s some dude you were fucking while you were up in the mainland. I’m not a fucking idiot Lei.” He yelled back.
“Lei! Let me talk to him.” Matt said thru the phone.
Micah took the phone from me, “Who the fuck is this?! You fuckin calling my bitch! This is my fucking bitch!”
“This is her brother Matt and she isn’t a fucking bitch. She’s my fucking sister you ass!” I could hear Matt yelling thru the phone.
“Oh yeah, well fuck off!” He said and hung up the phone on my brother.
“WHAT THE HELL MICAH!? That’s my brother!” I yelled in the middle of the baggage claim.
“Whatever. Get your fucking bag and let’s go home. I’m hungry and you need to cook me some fucking food.” He said throwing my phone back at me and walking off to the parking lot.
I was shaking but I somehow managed to call Matt back, “Matt? Hello? I’m sorry… he just…”
“Lei, are you ok?” was all he said.
“Yeah. He’s just mad. I’m sorry… I didn’t…”
“Stop. Don’t apologize for him. I want you to call me at least once a week. Do you understand me? Text me anytime you want to but I want to hear your voice on the phone once a week. Do I make myself clear?” He said seriously.
He was mad and trying to keep his cool. I knew that wasn’t easy for him.
“Yes brother. I will.” I replied.
“Memorize my number in case he takes it from you. I don’t care if you call me from a fucking payphone, I’ll pay the charges. I just want to hear that you are alright.” He said.
“Yes Matt. I better go. I love you.”
“I love you. Remember to call me if you need ANYTHING!” he stressed.
“I will. I love you and tell everyone I love them too.”
“I will. Talk to you later.” He said before hanging up.
I stared at his number in my phone memorizing it then and there. I would call him every week no matter what.
Hurry your ass up. ~Micah
I looked at his text, sighed, and kept looking for my bag. It finally came around and I grabbed it and ran out into the parking lots. Micah pulled his truck around and I jumped in as he sped off towards our house. I wanted to text Zacky but I didn’t dare pull out my phone with Micah next to me. I felt it buzz in my pocket but let it go until we made it home and I hopped out of the truck. Checking my phone, acting like I was getting my bags I saw a text from Zacky.
Did you get home alright Lei? ~Z
I looked up and watched Micah walk into the house without even looking back or helping me with my bags.
Yeah, I can’t talk right now. I’ll text you later. ~KLei
I slipped my phone back in my pocket and rushed into the house. I walked into our house and it was a total mess. Micah had left every dish dirty and had probably every piece of clothing he owned on the floors.
“You couldn’t have picked up after yourself just a little?!” I sighed heavily.
“What for? That’s your fucking job.” He said to me as he reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer.
I threw my bags in our bedroom and came back into the kitchen. He was standing there just watching me pick up dishes from the table and counters and toss them into the sink. One broke as I slammed it down and I didn’t care.
He walked over to me and backhanded my face.
I looked up at him with tears spilling over, “What the hell?!”
“The fuck are you breaking dishes for?! I fucking pay for this house! I fucking take care of you!” he said as he balled up his fist and punched my stomach causing me to fall over onto the floor.
He stood over me and kept kicking me in the ribs repeatedly until I could have sworn I heard one break. I tried to get up but he just pushed me back down. He kicked me in the face a few times before reaching down and grabbing me by my shirt and lifting me up. He looked me in the eye before punching me 3 or 4 times in the face. I was crying and trying to put my hands up but to no avail. If anything it made it worse. He grabbed the back of my hair and yanked it up, standing me back up.
“You stupid fucking bitch! Put your damn hands down!” he yelled, reminding me of what my mother used to tell me when she beat me as a child.
He punched me a few times before I slumped down to the cold kitchen tile floor, losing consciousness.
~~~~~~Later~~~~~~
I woke up in a pool of my own blood on the kitchen floor. Micah hadn’t even tried to move me, but left me lying there cold on the floor. The house was silent and the light was shining thru the kitchen window, telling me it was daytime which meant he had gone to work.
I groaned as I struggled to pull myself up on the distant table, pain shooting thru my torso. I realized I couldn’t see in one eye, as I balanced myself with my palms against the hallway walls, making my way to the hall mirror. I leaned against the wall beside me and looked at myself.
My clothes were torn and covered in blood. My left eye was swollen shut, my right had already changed to a deep purple. My lip was cut open and trails of blood were dried up and caked to my face where my nose had been bleeding. My body hurt so much but I knew I had to look. I slowly and carefully lifted my shirt and gasped at the sight of myself.
My entire torso was a bruise. One big, nasty, purple, black, and blue bruise. I touched it softly and nearly started to cry again. I knew for sure he had broken at least one rib. It was a pain that I knew too well from the 4 years of being with Micah.
I pulled my shirt back down and slowly limped to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped down and got into the warm water watching the blood go down the drain.
Why do I do this? I could leave. I could go. If I left he’d find me. If I left he’d fucking kill me… he even told me that before.
The water began to run cold and I quickly washed off the dirt and dried blood from my face and got out, wrapping myself in a towel.
“If you ever fucking try to leave, I’ll fucking kill you. If I can’t have you NO one will!” Micah yelled as he slapped me across the face.
I shook the memory from my head and dug thru the drawer for some kind of a pain reliever. Finding some and taking a handful, I grabbed my clothes off the floor with much discomfort and made my way to our bedroom. When I got to the bedroom, I felt my clothes vibrate. My phone. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and checked it.
Kamalei! Are you alright? Matt said something happened when you called him last night. Please call me or text me ASAP! I’m worried about you. ~Z
I knew I couldn’t call him. My lip was busted and talking didn’t sound too pleasant. I would probably break down crying as soon as I heard Zacky’s voice.
I’m ok. Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night. I was kinda busy. ~KLei
It was a horrible lie. I was everything but ok. I was a mess. I hated to lie to him, but I couldn’t tell him the truth for his own safety and mine.
As long as you are safe I don’t mind. I was just really worried when I didn’t hear from you ~Z
Safe! Ha! What a joke.
Sorry to make you worry my Zacky boy ~KLei
It’s ok my clumsy Kamalei. What are you up to today? ~Z
I’m actually going to clean today. I’ll be busy but I’ll text you later if that’s ok? ~KLei
I knew that even though I was in excruciating pain I had to clean before Micah came home. Otherwise, he probably would really beat me to death. I set my phone down on the table and got dressed before picking up the house.
Alright. I’ll talk to you later then. I miss you ~Z
I looked at his text and smiled. He could make me so happy with just a dumb text. I continued picking up, leaving my phone on the table. After I was done cleaning, I went into the living room and lay down on the couch to rest my sore body and think before falling asleep.
What a welcome back home…
I went thru security like a zombie. I wanted nothing to do with this. I wanted to stay so bad. I made my way to my gate and sat, waiting for boarding to start.
What would happen if I just never came home? Would he really throw me out? Would he really just leave my life? Of course not. It’s Micah. He would come after me. He would stalk my mother. He would harass anyone I ever knew. He would find me and beat me to death. I can only imagine what kind of a welcome I’m going to get when I get home.
I felt a buzz in my pocket, and pulled out my phone.
You better be on your way home. I’m not fucking playing Kamalei. ~Micah
I knew it. I thought about not responding, but decided it wasn’t in my best interest.
I’m at the airport now waiting for the plane. I should be home in 6 or 7 hours.~KLei
You better be. ~Micah
I wanted to throw my phone across the terminal and just run out. I composed myself and looked for some music on my phone to play. I found Chapter Four, and let it fill my headphones, getting lost in my brother’s voice.
All these years and I never knew it was my brother.
Just as I was really getting into Brian and Zacky’s guitar riffs, I was rudely cut off by another text.
I miss you already. I wish you would change your mind. ~Z
I stared at the text, lost. He told me ‘Don’t leave’ as we had pulled out of the driveway. I could feel my eyes start to get blurry.
I wish I could Z. I have to take care of my responsibilities. Please don’t make this harder for me. ~KLei
You could stay and it’d be easy. ~Z
Zacky what do you want? ~KLei
I looked at the text I sent. I waited for him to message back, but after 5 minutes, I realized how harsh that probably was. I had no reason to lash out at him. I was mad at myself for having to go.
I want you to stay. ~Z
I read his text and burst into tears. I wanted to stay. No one understood why I had to go. Deep down I don’t think I even understood why I had to go.
I can’t Zack. I have to go. You will come to see me tho, right? ~KLei
Even if I have to fly by myself I will come to see you. I’m just sad you had to go now ~Z
Me too Z. I miss all of you but I have to get on the plane now. I’ll text you when I land in Maui ok? ~KLei
Alright Kamalei. Be careful my clumsy girl… ~Z
I will my Zacky boy ~KLei
I smiled at his texts as I shut the phone to airplane mode as I stood in line to board. This would be a long ride home and I planned on sleeping. I would probably be up all night fighting Micah. Getting to my seat, I set my phone back to my music and quickly fell asleep for the entire plane ride home.
The flight attendant gently woke me up from my awkward position in my seat. We had landed in Maui at about 8pm. I gathered my things and got off the plane. I turned my phone back on to its normal settings, instantly seeing Zacky’s previous texts from California making me smile. I walked down the escalator to the baggage claim to find my bags, finding Matt’s phone number and dialing.
“Kamalei? Are you home?” he answered.
“Yes Matt. I just landed in Maui. I’m on my way to get my bags now. Is everyone there?” I asked hoping that I wouldn’t need to make a million phone calls as everyone wanted one when I got home.
“Yeah for the most part. Just Zack isn’t here.” He said.
“Oh, ok. Well speaker phone?” I asked him as I heard him switch it on.
“Kamalei’s on the phone!” He yelled.
“LEI-LEI!! MY BABY!!!” Jimmy yelled excitedly over everyone else.
“Hey everyone! I made it to Maui! I miss you guys already!” I said as I watched the bags begin spinning around.
“WE MISS YOU TOO!! WE LOVE YOU!!” Everyone yelled back.
It made my heart melt hearing them. Less than a day ago, I was there. I was with them. They were my new family and I loved them.
“I love you too!” I said back as someone grabbed my shoulder painfully.
“Who the fuck you love?” Micah said as I turned around to face him.
“Who is that?” I could hear Matt say turning off the speaker phone.
“Micah, it’s my brother. What?! I can’t tell my brother I love him?” I spit back at Micah.
“Yeah right. That’s not your brother. It’s some dude you were fucking while you were up in the mainland. I’m not a fucking idiot Lei.” He yelled back.
“Lei! Let me talk to him.” Matt said thru the phone.
Micah took the phone from me, “Who the fuck is this?! You fuckin calling my bitch! This is my fucking bitch!”
“This is her brother Matt and she isn’t a fucking bitch. She’s my fucking sister you ass!” I could hear Matt yelling thru the phone.
“Oh yeah, well fuck off!” He said and hung up the phone on my brother.
“WHAT THE HELL MICAH!? That’s my brother!” I yelled in the middle of the baggage claim.
“Whatever. Get your fucking bag and let’s go home. I’m hungry and you need to cook me some fucking food.” He said throwing my phone back at me and walking off to the parking lot.
I was shaking but I somehow managed to call Matt back, “Matt? Hello? I’m sorry… he just…”
“Lei, are you ok?” was all he said.
“Yeah. He’s just mad. I’m sorry… I didn’t…”
“Stop. Don’t apologize for him. I want you to call me at least once a week. Do you understand me? Text me anytime you want to but I want to hear your voice on the phone once a week. Do I make myself clear?” He said seriously.
He was mad and trying to keep his cool. I knew that wasn’t easy for him.
“Yes brother. I will.” I replied.
“Memorize my number in case he takes it from you. I don’t care if you call me from a fucking payphone, I’ll pay the charges. I just want to hear that you are alright.” He said.
“Yes Matt. I better go. I love you.”
“I love you. Remember to call me if you need ANYTHING!” he stressed.
“I will. I love you and tell everyone I love them too.”
“I will. Talk to you later.” He said before hanging up.
I stared at his number in my phone memorizing it then and there. I would call him every week no matter what.
Hurry your ass up. ~Micah
I looked at his text, sighed, and kept looking for my bag. It finally came around and I grabbed it and ran out into the parking lots. Micah pulled his truck around and I jumped in as he sped off towards our house. I wanted to text Zacky but I didn’t dare pull out my phone with Micah next to me. I felt it buzz in my pocket but let it go until we made it home and I hopped out of the truck. Checking my phone, acting like I was getting my bags I saw a text from Zacky.
Did you get home alright Lei? ~Z
I looked up and watched Micah walk into the house without even looking back or helping me with my bags.
Yeah, I can’t talk right now. I’ll text you later. ~KLei
I slipped my phone back in my pocket and rushed into the house. I walked into our house and it was a total mess. Micah had left every dish dirty and had probably every piece of clothing he owned on the floors.
“You couldn’t have picked up after yourself just a little?!” I sighed heavily.
“What for? That’s your fucking job.” He said to me as he reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer.
I threw my bags in our bedroom and came back into the kitchen. He was standing there just watching me pick up dishes from the table and counters and toss them into the sink. One broke as I slammed it down and I didn’t care.
He walked over to me and backhanded my face.
I looked up at him with tears spilling over, “What the hell?!”
“The fuck are you breaking dishes for?! I fucking pay for this house! I fucking take care of you!” he said as he balled up his fist and punched my stomach causing me to fall over onto the floor.
He stood over me and kept kicking me in the ribs repeatedly until I could have sworn I heard one break. I tried to get up but he just pushed me back down. He kicked me in the face a few times before reaching down and grabbing me by my shirt and lifting me up. He looked me in the eye before punching me 3 or 4 times in the face. I was crying and trying to put my hands up but to no avail. If anything it made it worse. He grabbed the back of my hair and yanked it up, standing me back up.
“You stupid fucking bitch! Put your damn hands down!” he yelled, reminding me of what my mother used to tell me when she beat me as a child.
He punched me a few times before I slumped down to the cold kitchen tile floor, losing consciousness.
~~~~~~Later~~~~~~
I woke up in a pool of my own blood on the kitchen floor. Micah hadn’t even tried to move me, but left me lying there cold on the floor. The house was silent and the light was shining thru the kitchen window, telling me it was daytime which meant he had gone to work.
I groaned as I struggled to pull myself up on the distant table, pain shooting thru my torso. I realized I couldn’t see in one eye, as I balanced myself with my palms against the hallway walls, making my way to the hall mirror. I leaned against the wall beside me and looked at myself.
My clothes were torn and covered in blood. My left eye was swollen shut, my right had already changed to a deep purple. My lip was cut open and trails of blood were dried up and caked to my face where my nose had been bleeding. My body hurt so much but I knew I had to look. I slowly and carefully lifted my shirt and gasped at the sight of myself.
My entire torso was a bruise. One big, nasty, purple, black, and blue bruise. I touched it softly and nearly started to cry again. I knew for sure he had broken at least one rib. It was a pain that I knew too well from the 4 years of being with Micah.
I pulled my shirt back down and slowly limped to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped down and got into the warm water watching the blood go down the drain.
Why do I do this? I could leave. I could go. If I left he’d find me. If I left he’d fucking kill me… he even told me that before.
The water began to run cold and I quickly washed off the dirt and dried blood from my face and got out, wrapping myself in a towel.
“If you ever fucking try to leave, I’ll fucking kill you. If I can’t have you NO one will!” Micah yelled as he slapped me across the face.
I shook the memory from my head and dug thru the drawer for some kind of a pain reliever. Finding some and taking a handful, I grabbed my clothes off the floor with much discomfort and made my way to our bedroom. When I got to the bedroom, I felt my clothes vibrate. My phone. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and checked it.
Kamalei! Are you alright? Matt said something happened when you called him last night. Please call me or text me ASAP! I’m worried about you. ~Z
I knew I couldn’t call him. My lip was busted and talking didn’t sound too pleasant. I would probably break down crying as soon as I heard Zacky’s voice.
I’m ok. Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night. I was kinda busy. ~KLei
It was a horrible lie. I was everything but ok. I was a mess. I hated to lie to him, but I couldn’t tell him the truth for his own safety and mine.
As long as you are safe I don’t mind. I was just really worried when I didn’t hear from you ~Z
Safe! Ha! What a joke.
Sorry to make you worry my Zacky boy ~KLei
It’s ok my clumsy Kamalei. What are you up to today? ~Z
I’m actually going to clean today. I’ll be busy but I’ll text you later if that’s ok? ~KLei
I knew that even though I was in excruciating pain I had to clean before Micah came home. Otherwise, he probably would really beat me to death. I set my phone down on the table and got dressed before picking up the house.
Alright. I’ll talk to you later then. I miss you ~Z
I looked at his text and smiled. He could make me so happy with just a dumb text. I continued picking up, leaving my phone on the table. After I was done cleaning, I went into the living room and lay down on the couch to rest my sore body and think before falling asleep.
What a welcome back home…
Notes
Here's the second chapter for the day. What do we think my pretties? Comments are always appreciated. Much mahalos and aloha <3
Ello, I've tried to find your story on wattpad and it's no where to be found. Could you send the link to the page of your story? I've gotta know what happens next!
11/20/17