“EMILY! You can’t… you can’t do this to me now.” I tapped her cheeks a few desperate times and tried to slow down my own accelerated breathing so I’d be able to hear her heartbeat.
“C’mon babe…” nothing, I couldn’t hear a thing, I couldn’t find her pulse, I was in the verge of screaming for help when she moved her hand in my back and turned her head slowly to the sides, coming back to life like a miracle.

Oh god, she is back!!

“I can’t… I can’t breathe.” she mumbled through her blue lips and I kissed her cheek quickly before I rolled out of bed in a jolt and began to dress the first set of clothes I found in my way.

“That’s it, I’m taking you to a hospital right now. I won’t let you do this.” My whole body was shaking in fear as I got dressed as quickly as I could and went back to her side to keep her awake.

“No, Bri, please… I don’t wanna go.” Her voice was barely audible. “They’ll lock me in.”

“I won’t watch you die!” I fixed her clothes and was ready to get her in my arms when my cellphone buzzed. “Damn it, worst time ever!”

I picked it up from the nightstand and saw Jason’s number. Oh god, yeah, maybe he could help me out here.

“Hey, man, I...”

“Jason, listen up, I need your help here, you must know what to do, you had medical training a few years ago, right?

“Yeah I…

“You gotta come here, man, it’s Emily.” I looked at her and she had closed her eyes once again. God… “She doesn’t wanna go to a hospital, she thinks they will lock her in a mental facility, you gotta help us man. She stopped breathing for a few minutes, her lips are blue, she’s not eating for days now, I don’t know what to do!”

“Shit, she needs oxygen and saline man. I… okay give me your address and I’ll bring a few things to help her out, but I can’t promise it’ll work, alright?”

“Alright, just come!” I gave him the address and luckily we were only a few minutes away.
Just when I hanged up, her eyes started to roll over her head and her whole body began to contort, her back curved and her neck tensed a hell of a lot. For Christ sake, is this… a seizure?

I tried to hold her still so she wouldn’t beat her head on the bed but her body kept convulsing. I prayed as I never did before, I wasn’t so used to talk to someone or something I didn’t even know if exists or not, but this time only help from above could work out here.

“I’m not fucking losing you today. You hear me!? I’m not!!” I know she was unconscious now but I had to scream that, to get it out of my chest, and so did a few tears.
The episode was happening for too long and just when I thought I wouldn’t have any more strength to keep holding her body, Jason knocked on the door.

“Oh, thank god, come on in!”

“Hey, man, what’s… shit, she’s worse than I thought.” His eyes widened when he came in with a bag in hands and saw me kneeled on the ground with my arms around her legs and holding her neck still. “We should take her to the hospital, man, I’m telling you, she can’t withdraw from heroin by herself.”

“She told me she could. I… don’t know shit about it, I believed her.” The spasms finally stopped and she was only out now, but still breathing somehow. “Jason, what should I do? She doesn’t wanna go, man.”

He checked her breathing, her pulse and licked his lips looking at me.

“She’s completely cold turkey, she’s not getting enough oxygen. We can try something out. But if it doesn’t work out on the next hour or so, we’re taking her, alright?” I nodded, stepping out, as he picked up his bag and started to prepare the saline. “She’s really dehydrated, this will help her get her senses back.”

He set up the needle and held her arm to look for veins. Yeah, that was our next big problem.

“Fuck… I can’t find a vein that isn’t… Search on the other arm for me.”

I did what he asked and I could only find bruises everywhere, she had her both arms screwed up.

“I can’t see anything here, man. God, what she did to herself…” I moved my hands to my eyes and felt defeated.

“Maybe on her legs…” I moved the blanket away from her feet and her legs looked a lot better than the arms. “Yeah, it’ll do for now.”

Jason quickly found a vein in one of her ankles, set the tourniquet, and asked me to stay holding the saline up as he needed to do one more thing.

“Brian, you need to know that only this IV won’t get her anywhere. I… took a little longer to come cause I had to go out and find a few guys to score me some methadone.” He showed me a bottle with pills and a syringe. “This is just as strong and addictive as heroin, but they use it as a treatment on every detox clinic I know. It should help her with the symptoms in a really low dose, so she can get clean a little slower to give time for her body to handle it, alright?”

“Okay, man, we should try everything at this point. Go ahead.”

I watched as he crushed the pill until it turned into powder, placed it on a spoon and cooked it until it got liquid. Then he filled the syringe with the white liquid and gazed at me. My mouth was probably hanging open cause I had never seen someone… cook drugs like this before. I glanced back at Emily and felt my heart squeezing so bad. That thing was destroying her life and she had to take it again, there was no other way.

“I’m gonna try to push it directly into her vein to work faster.” He searched on her arm for a few minutes again and shook his head, blinked his eyes lingeringly and kept searching. “Alright, I guess I found something.” He tied the tourniquet around her arm and not before waiting for the vein to pop out, he injected it and pushed the plunger slowly.

Her head moved to the sides and she let out a few moans while he was shooting it. I had a big frown when I thought those moans were from pain, but no, I guess I was wrong, I noticed the lines on her face losing up and her lips almost forming a smile. I could see her chest moving stronger and a little faster than before. She was actually enjoying that feeling.

“I think it’s working, man. Yeah, it’s working.” I sighed in relief while he took off the needle and tossed it on the trash. He checked her pulse again and nodded at me.

“Now we wait…”

---

“So… you guys gave him an ultimatum?”

“After talking so much they’ve got to that conclusion. But not even threatening to take the thing he loves to do the most could convince him to quit. He’s completely hooked on it and on her.” Jason motioned to Emily, who was quietly asleep. We were waiting for her to wake up at any second now.

“He’s not good to her. They are not good for each other. It’s our fault, you know. We all let it get to this point, pretending we didn’t know about it.”

“I think he won’t listen to any of us. He can only listen to her, Brian.” I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. “If she’s really getting out of this, you need to let her talk to him. She can convince him to get clean.”

“She can’t go back to him, not after everything we just went through here. No way, I can’t let him get near her again, not for now at least. He’s gonna drag her down with him all over again. They are so deeply tied to each other over this, Jason.”

“I know, and that’s why she’s the key to get him out. Jimmy thinks the whole world is against him right now, he can’t see clearly through the damn heroin fog. You gotta start worrying about your friend too, he only trusts her.”

I kept wondering about Jason’s words, he was right, we need to help Jimmy. But… there’s gotta be other way.

When the silence filled the room with a lot of unanswered questions, I saw Emily finally awakening, opening her eyes a little and moving her fingers. I ran to her side promptly.

“Babe? Are you okay? How are you feeling?” I caressed her hair and she looked a little less pale now. Her lips had gotten back its color I loved so much to kiss. And that’s what I did, I couldn’t help myself, I kissed her before she could say anything.

“Hmm, you put a spell on those lips or what? I’m much better now…” she grinned beautifully and I replied. I really thought I was never gonna see that smile again.

“I wish I could’ve cured you. Jason’s here, he gave you something to help you get better. I didn’t take you to a hospital as you told me you didn’t wanna go. I thought I had lost you, Em.”

“You did the right thing baby. Thanks for coming, Jay.”

“No problem, Ems. Can you breathe easier now?” Jason came near me.

“Yeah, I… I’m feeling much better now. I think I’m…” she gazed at me and then at Jason, then back at me again, her eyes smiling at me. “Do we have something to eat here? I’m starving!” I chuckled at the way she said it and kissed her cheek.

I looked at Jason for a second and mouthed him a thank you before I could go after something for her to eat, finally.

She was finally getting better.

---

Next Day

“Em, please, I don’t want you to come tonight. He’s gonna be there, I explained the situation already, you’re not good to get out yet. You should stay here.” I said while checking my clothes, hair and makeup on the mirror. They were at least disguising my lack of sleep a little.

“I’m better now Brian, that thing Jason brought is really helping me with the symptoms. I need to talk to the guys from my band, they must be crazy worried I’m not picking up my calls and… Yes, Brian, I need to talk to him and you know damn well why!” Emily was behind me now, looking at me through the mirror.

“I AM his friend, I should be the one to talk to him, okay? I don’t wanna involve you in this.”

“You’re kidding me, right? I’m involved on this from head to toe. We helped each other get into this hole, now I gotta help him out. I’m not going back to him, I just need to set things up, alright?” she brushed my hair, fixed a few locks behind my ear and placed my red hat on my head. I was tired as hell, hadn’t slept for two nights watching her, but had to go to that last gig anyway.

I refused to look at her eyes at first. She looked a lot better, she had color on her skin, her hair was beautifully hanging loose on her shoulders and she had that glow back in her eyes. The glow of life.

She was doing so great and… what if I just take her to Jimmy and he convinces her of going back to that hell they created to themselves? The last thing I want is to risk her recovery and her safety. I watched her go in my arms too many times to simply put it aside now. I gotta make sure she’s free from this first so we can help him. Is that so hard to understand?

And deep inside my heart, of course I was afraid she would go back to his arms. Not just for the drugs and for the fun of it but… because I feared she still loved him. And that’s something I can’t accept anymore. It’s my turn now and I won’t let her go that easily again. He had his chance.

“Alright? Baby? Bri, you zoned off! Hello!” she grabbed my both cheeks and shook my head from side to side jokingly to bring me back from my thoughts.

“Hey… hey, I’m here. It’s just… I didn’t sleep well for two nights in a row, my brain turned into shit now, I don’t even know how I’m gonna play.” I blinked and breathed heavily. I swear if I sit, I’d fall asleep at the same second.

“We buy some energy drinks on our way, okay? Just hang in there, just a few songs and we are finally heading back home.” She comforted me with her soft hands still on my cheeks and I had to take her lips into mine lingeringly for another time before we could get a cab straight to the concert venue.

---

“Stay here and don’t go anywhere before I can come back, alright?” Brian stated gazing inside her eyes, holding her shoulders. The last thing he wanted was to lose her from his sight to Jimmy’s sight. But Jimmy had no idea she was there.

They were in the audio control isle just behind the crowd. The place was more than full of reckless young people waiting for their favorite band to hop in the stage.

“Yeah, of course Bri, where do you think I’d go? Hook up with one of those eighteen year old dudes?”

“Ha-ha very funny. I’m gonna tell Jason to stay here with you just in case.” He kissed her lips quickly and hugged her tight. “Anything you need, just ask him. I’ll be there in the back. See you, babe.” He pecked her lips once more.

“Break a leg!” she winked and he went away with a smile.

A smile that simply faded away to give place to a big yawn at the exact same moment he turned his back. Even after two cans of energetic drinks, he still felt exhausted. He didn’t know how he would be standing up in that stage for an entire hour. He needed something. Something stronger.

Just when he was stepping inside the backstage area, he bumped with Jason. “Hey, man, you’re late, they are waiting for you in there to go onstage already.”

“Yeah, I know I… I’m getting there. But hey…” Brian walked closer to Jason, looked at his both sides and over his shoulder before mumbling. “… look, I’ve been awake for 48hs straight watching out for Emily so… do you think you have some… you know, to keep me awake?”

“Coke?” Jason took a sheer plastic envelope out of his pocket and handled to him discreetly.

“Yeah, I guess it’ll do. Thanks man, I owe you another one.”

Brian was walking away already.

“Hey and… how’s she, man?”

“She’s doing really great. I’m controlling those pills you gave to her, I think she’ll be able to quit it entirely soon.”

“Good, man, that’s really good!”

“Can you… stay in the audio control with her tonight? I don’t wanna leave her alone, you know?”

“Of course, bro. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“I appreciate, J. See you later.” Brian went straight to the bathroom, locked himself in and snorted his row as quickly as he could, looking at the mirror right after the initial rush took place in his brain.

Last gig of the year. C’mon, you can do this! Wake up!

He washed up his face, feeling as hyped as he had slept for 24hs straight, and walked out of the room to bump into another person. Jimmy.

They stared eye to eye for several seconds like they were strangers, the tension rising to the limit around them. None of them really knew what to say. But Jimmy was the first to break the ice with a cold and harsh tone:

“Is she here?”

Brian sighed.

“Yeah, she is. And… if you really care about her, you should stay away.”

“Why don’t YOU stay away?” Jimmy stepped further with all that height up against Brian, never losing eye contact, when Matt came in between them and interfered.

“Hey, hey, hey, you two! NOT NOW! We have a concert to deliver so CHILL OUT! Both! I don’t want any of you making a scene onstage, understood?” he didn’t raise his voice once, just kept moving his head to trade glances between the two of his band mates.

They gazes were still glued, not sure who was angrier. Matt was holding their chests back. He knew they had to discuss their differences eventually but now wasn’t the right time for that.

“Understood?” he repeated and they both finally nodded forcefully with clenched jaws. “Good… now let’s go, we are rocking this place out, c’mon!” Matt made them both move ahead to meet the others already in the side of the stage, getting ready for the action.

Brian greeted his band mates and crew, like they always do before concerts. When it was time for Jimmy to greet Brian, he ignored his extended hand and left Brian behind to be the first one to go onstage. That was the first time they went on a stage without a handshake and a bro hug.
And to break those rituals wasn’t a good sign at all. It really meant the end for their friendship.

From Emily’s perfect-pitched ears and eyes, Brian was making mistakes at every song. He seemed happy and electric on stage like she had never seen before but his low speed couldn’t keep up with Jimmy’s lead this time. He was messing the tempo but the kids didn’t seem to notice it, they were having fun anyway.

“What the fuck is going on with him tonight?” Emily asked Jason while watching them. She knew he was too tired but he wouldn’t mess up that big.

Jason only shrugged and pretended he didn’t know, but he was almost sure that coke had something to do with his sloppiness.

At the end of the concert, Jimmy couldn’t be more pissed off at Brian. He stole his girl and now messed up the entire set of songs on their last concert. He should be the one fired, not him. This time, he wouldn’t stay quiet. Brian needed to hear some truths.

“What the heck was that, Haner, huh? Where was all your perfectionism tonight? You couldn’t get a single song right! Oh, let me guess, you were too busy fucking my girlfriend the whole week and now you didn’t have any energies left to do your fucking job, right?” Jimmy was the last one to leave the stage and Brian was ahead of him but he made sure all the people around them could hear what he had to say while they were climbing down the stairs.

Brian’s blood boiled to his words. He stopped his walking right away and turned to face Jimmy but Johnny stood in front of him, afraid of what could happen this time.

“For your information, I was busy taking care of her the way you weren’t capable of doing this whole year. I’m trying to help her fix the mess you both made! She’s been going through hell because of you, alright!?”

“I bet she is…” he nodded with a sarcastic expression and went closer when Brian had just turned his back to keep walking outside. Jimmy was following him now and the guys followed them, trading worried looks.

“You can think whatever you want. Just stay the hell away from her, man.” When they finally got outside, the bus was already waiting for them in the parking lot. Brian hoped Emily would stay inside waiting for him, he wanted her as far as possible from Jimmy.

“You didn’t let her answer my calls and you kept her locked somewhere away from me. You’re the cause of all of this, you son of a bitch, so don’t you turn your fucking back on me!” Jimmy forced Brian’s shoulder back and made him face him. The guys were around them, just waiting to set them apart if needed, but never getting in the way of their arguing.

“She wasn't taking anyone's calls. I’m doing what you never did before, I’m being the man she needs by her side. I’m trying to save her life. You had every chance in the world and you fucking blew them all! Don’t try to blame ME for your mistakes!” Brian pointed his index finger on Jimmy’s chest to make him back off.

“She’s still mine and you can’t keep her away from me, you cheating bastard!” Jimmy pushed him back with clenched teeth.

“Oh, c’mon, do you really think she wants you back after all those nights you couldn’t even get it up cause you were too loaded on dope? Huh?” Jimmy pursed his lips in deep rage of hearing him yell that in front of everyone. Brian had no restraints in his tongue this time. “That’s why she ran to me every night, Jimmy, cause I can satisfy her anytime she wants. Anytime. Apparently, you’re not man enough for that!”

With those bold words from Brian, Jimmy reached the peak of his fury and along with a loud rage scream, he grasped Brian with his both arms and slammed hard his back against the bus, causing a big noise.

The guys ran towards them to hold Jimmy off but before they could reach them, Brian’s anger gathered with the big amount of adrenaline that was blasting through his veins exploded in just one sharp blow from his wrist on Jimmy’s face.

Brian’s eyes captured everything in slow motion then. His friend falling back in the ground, his nose bleeding, his eyes closing and the scary noise of his head hitting the curb. The only thing he was able to hear next was Emily’s shout at him as Matt and Zacky held him back and still.

“BRIAN!!!” she had just arrived at the venue exit with Jason, in time to see the punch.

She ran desperately towards them and when her eyes got the sight of Jimmy’s unconscious body spread on the ground, she went with closed fists to hit Brian’s chest several times with them.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!!??” she yelled at him and kept hitting him. He didn’t do anything to stop her, he just watched.

“Guys!! He’s out!!!!” Johnny yelled.

Brian was astonished, frozen in shock as the guys left him behind to go see why Jimmy was still on the floor and not moving at all. When Emily had no more strength to unload on Brian, she ran down to Jimmy, trying to wake him up and crying desperately.

Matt demanded at last:

“Call 911! NOW!!!”

Notes

uh ohhh... I just twisted this thing up a little more... ihih *shy laughter*

But... you still are my friends, right, girls?? RIGHT????

*running to go hide in the hills*

<3