No Pulse Inside of Me
Chapter 56
Third Person POV:
Jimmy quietly opened the door to Tammy’s room. Johnny was writing something down in a chart as he looked at the many monitors Tammy was hooked up to. Brian was sitting in the same spot he has been for the past five days. Tammy has till yet to wake up, and Brian has been there everyday and night. “Still no change?” Jimmy asked quietly as he sat next to Brian. He gave him a simple shake of his head, the only acknowledgement Jimmy received. Jerry has been alternating shifts with Johnny, twelve hours a piece. He’s the only other person that knows about the baby. Johnny had to tell him if he was going to help. Johnny still hasn’t told Brian. He doesn’t want to lay the extra stress of worrying about the baby too on him. He’s barely handling this.
As each day passed, Brian felt a little of himself die inside. Even Johnny’s optimism that she’ll wake up has done nothing to ease the pain. He hasn’t been home at all since that night. Jimmy brings him clothes everyday. There is a shower in her bathroom that he never spends more than 10 minutes in, and has barely eaten enough to stay alive. There has been a few times Johnny has hooked an IV up to Brian just so he won’t dehydrate. He’s not usually talkative when there is other people around. Usually he saves his voice for when they’re alone, and he can talk to her. Johnny says that she can hear him, and sometimes he’ll sit there with his guitar, and softly sing to her, hoping maybe it will someway wake her up.
Johnny has no doubt she will. It’s just a matter of time. She was only dead for ten minutes, twice as long as Jimmy, but there wasn’t any brain damage shown on any of the tests they’ve done. She’s not brain dead, and her brain activity has only been increasing with each passing day. Sometimes she will twitch, tricking Brian into thinking she was waking up, but then the hope gets sucked out of him when the movement stops. The baby is still healthy, getting everything she needs through the IV. Johnny checks the heartbeat every time Brian gets in the shower. He knows when he does. If Johnny’s not in the room, then Brian will send a nurse to find him, or text him. Brian doesn’t like to leave her alone at all, and if he can’t be in there, then it has to be Johnny. Even if one or some of the guys are there, he has to be there. Johnny will just shoo anyone there out while he “checks her incision”, or “changes her bandages”. It’s been working so far. No one has found out.
Brian felt her squeeze his hand, shrugging it off as another twitch as he just stared at the floor. He didn’t think he could handle getting his hopes up just to have them come crashing down again. She squeeze his hand again, and his head jerked up when the beeps on the heart monitor picked up. This was new. A smile came across Johnny’s face. He knew it was just a matter of time, and he worked quickly to remove the tubes in her throat that fed her, and assisted her breathing. Of course Johnny’s actions caught Brian and Jimmy’s attention. He wouldn’t be taking those out if she wasn’t waking up, and they were quick to their feet.
They stood on one side of the bed as Johnny worked from the other. Tammy took in her first unassisted breath, and started to cough as everything started working on their own. Never has she felt more pain, and tears streamed down her face as she tried to stop coughing. Instinctively trying to sit up to help with the coughing, she cried out when pain shot through her entire right side. “Baby don’t sit up.” Brian said easing her back down.
She calmed a little at the sound of his voice, and let him gently push her back. “Just concentrate on breathing.” Johnny said as her coughing started to calm. He kept an eye on the monitors as Tammy worked to steady her breathing. Brian kept a firm grip on her hand, sitting back down to whisper soothing words to her as everything steadied. Brian watched with tears in his eyes as hers started to flutter open. For the first time in five days, a small smile graced Brian‘s face when her eyes finally opened all the way. He was speechless for a moment as he stared into her pale bloodshot eyes. He didn’t care, he knew eventually they would be bright with life again. He was just so happy to see them again that all thought left him, and he was speechless. Tammy smiled weakly at him when he managed to choke out a “Hey”, and blinked slowly, her lids still heavy and tired. “Hey.” she whispered causing Brian to almost break down at the sound of her voice. Though it was tired and hoarse, it was still her voice. He kissed her lips softly, and rested his head on hers. “I thought I lost you.” he whispered. She smiled a little again, “Not yet,” she said softly, taking a few deep breaths, and closing her eyes briefly, “You’re stuck with me for awhile.” she finished with a small grin, wiggling a weak finger at him. He let out a small chuckle, and kissed her forehead. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.” he said locking their eyes again. “I love you.” she whispered touching the side of his face. He smiled, and closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “I love you too.” he said before softly kissing her again.
“Um, I’m going to go call the guys.” Jimmy said, motioning to the door with his thumbs, not really knowing what else to do. Yea he wanted to see her too, but he also knew that they needed time first. Johnny gave him a nod in acknowledgement as he went out the door, and sat on the edge of the bed. “You gave us quite the scare.” Johnny said placing a hand on Tammy’s shoulder. “Sorry.” she said smiling weakly at him, pulling her gaze from Brian. “Yea well don’t do it again.” Brian warned, the smile fading from his face. She looked at him with a smirk. “You know I will.” she said with a grin as she closed her eyes, and shifted a little to get comfortable. “Not if I have anything to do with it.” Brian said with nothing but seriousness. “The worst is over.” Tammy whispered, keeping her eyes closed. She was still very tired.
Johnny and Brian exchanged looks, not really sure what she meant by that. “So what’s the damage doc?” Tammy asked popping her eyes open to look at Johnny. “Well,” he started scratching the back of his head, “The bullet shattered a rib. The impact broke the rib above it and below,” he said as Tammy and Brian listened quietly, “It traveled through your right lung, and out your back.” he explained. Tammy nodded a little, “Well that explains why I feel like I got ran over by a semi.” she mumbled to no one in particular. “I’m going to have to replace the shattered rib, but it can wait,” Johnny said before a smile spread across his face, “There’s something else we need to discuss first.” he said. A knowing smile made its way across Tammy’s face as she instinctively placed a hand over her stomach. She almost said it before him, but the excitement in Johnny’s eyes stopped her. It was obvious he’s been waiting to get this out. “You’re pregnant.” he said almost a little too excited.
Brian’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open. “How?” he asked, the shock never leaving his face. “Well you see baby, when a man and a woman love each other-” Tammy started being cut off by the look Brian gave her. “Oh that’s not what you meant.” she said trying to hold in her smile. “I mean you’re on birth control.” he said. “Everybody knows that’s not 100 percent,” Johnny started “But the measurements I got from the sonogram I did the night you were shot-” “Wait how long have I been out?” Tammy interrupted him. “Five days.” they both answered. “Wow.” she whispered out looking down at her lap. “You did technically die.” Johnny told her. “Yea I know,” she said not looking up, “So you were saying.” she said meeting Johnny’s confused eyes. “You’re about 11 weeks now,” he continued, shaking off what she had said, “You were on antibiotics then, still recovering from Disturbed, and I may have forgotten to tell you it would affect your birth control.” Johnny said avoiding eyes. “How the hell do you forget to mention something like that?” Brian asked still in shock. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve had to remember.” Johnny defended. “Calm down daddy.” Tammy said with a smile looking at Brian.
He quickly met her eyes, and let out a breathy “huh” when it finally sunk in. He was going to be a dad. “Can we come in?” Jimmy asked poking his head in. Tammy waved him in as she continued to watch Brian with amusement, staring at the floor now, his mouth still agape, but you could see a smile pulling at his lips. Jimmy came through the door with the guys in tow, stopping in their tracks when Brian jumped up, “I’m going to be a dad!” he blurted out, causing Tammy to start laughing. “Owe.” she groaned out when pain shot through her chest, but the amused smile never left her face.
The guys looked at them in shock. Obviously that wasn’t the first thing they were expecting to hear walking through the door. “Yay! A baby Gates.” Jimmy cheered, breaking the silence, and rushing over to Tammy’s bed side. He playfully pushed Brian away, and he stumbled to the side. “Hey!” Brian said when he regained his balance. Jimmy just ignored him as he leaned over to give Tammy a gentle hug. “Congratulations.” he said placing a peck on her cheek. “Thanks.“ she said with a wide smile. He turned to face Brian, and the two playfully glared at each other before Jimmy pulled him in for a “bro” hug. “You’re going to name him after me right?” Jimmy asked bouncing with excitement as the rest of the guys came over, greeting and congratulating them. Tammy let out a small chuckle at Jimmy’s excitement. “We can’t Jimmy, I‘m sorry.” she said, watching disappointment wash over his face. “Why not?” he pouted. She smiled and looked at Brian. “Cause she’s a girl.” she said watching a confused smile come across his face. “You don’t know that.” Jimmy countered. “Yes I do.” she said simply looking down at her tummy with a smile. “How could you know that?” Johnny asked with slight confusion. She smiled, and looked up at him. “I died, remember?” she said, leaving them with just that.
Jimmy quietly opened the door to Tammy’s room. Johnny was writing something down in a chart as he looked at the many monitors Tammy was hooked up to. Brian was sitting in the same spot he has been for the past five days. Tammy has till yet to wake up, and Brian has been there everyday and night. “Still no change?” Jimmy asked quietly as he sat next to Brian. He gave him a simple shake of his head, the only acknowledgement Jimmy received. Jerry has been alternating shifts with Johnny, twelve hours a piece. He’s the only other person that knows about the baby. Johnny had to tell him if he was going to help. Johnny still hasn’t told Brian. He doesn’t want to lay the extra stress of worrying about the baby too on him. He’s barely handling this.
As each day passed, Brian felt a little of himself die inside. Even Johnny’s optimism that she’ll wake up has done nothing to ease the pain. He hasn’t been home at all since that night. Jimmy brings him clothes everyday. There is a shower in her bathroom that he never spends more than 10 minutes in, and has barely eaten enough to stay alive. There has been a few times Johnny has hooked an IV up to Brian just so he won’t dehydrate. He’s not usually talkative when there is other people around. Usually he saves his voice for when they’re alone, and he can talk to her. Johnny says that she can hear him, and sometimes he’ll sit there with his guitar, and softly sing to her, hoping maybe it will someway wake her up.
Johnny has no doubt she will. It’s just a matter of time. She was only dead for ten minutes, twice as long as Jimmy, but there wasn’t any brain damage shown on any of the tests they’ve done. She’s not brain dead, and her brain activity has only been increasing with each passing day. Sometimes she will twitch, tricking Brian into thinking she was waking up, but then the hope gets sucked out of him when the movement stops. The baby is still healthy, getting everything she needs through the IV. Johnny checks the heartbeat every time Brian gets in the shower. He knows when he does. If Johnny’s not in the room, then Brian will send a nurse to find him, or text him. Brian doesn’t like to leave her alone at all, and if he can’t be in there, then it has to be Johnny. Even if one or some of the guys are there, he has to be there. Johnny will just shoo anyone there out while he “checks her incision”, or “changes her bandages”. It’s been working so far. No one has found out.
Brian felt her squeeze his hand, shrugging it off as another twitch as he just stared at the floor. He didn’t think he could handle getting his hopes up just to have them come crashing down again. She squeeze his hand again, and his head jerked up when the beeps on the heart monitor picked up. This was new. A smile came across Johnny’s face. He knew it was just a matter of time, and he worked quickly to remove the tubes in her throat that fed her, and assisted her breathing. Of course Johnny’s actions caught Brian and Jimmy’s attention. He wouldn’t be taking those out if she wasn’t waking up, and they were quick to their feet.
They stood on one side of the bed as Johnny worked from the other. Tammy took in her first unassisted breath, and started to cough as everything started working on their own. Never has she felt more pain, and tears streamed down her face as she tried to stop coughing. Instinctively trying to sit up to help with the coughing, she cried out when pain shot through her entire right side. “Baby don’t sit up.” Brian said easing her back down.
She calmed a little at the sound of his voice, and let him gently push her back. “Just concentrate on breathing.” Johnny said as her coughing started to calm. He kept an eye on the monitors as Tammy worked to steady her breathing. Brian kept a firm grip on her hand, sitting back down to whisper soothing words to her as everything steadied. Brian watched with tears in his eyes as hers started to flutter open. For the first time in five days, a small smile graced Brian‘s face when her eyes finally opened all the way. He was speechless for a moment as he stared into her pale bloodshot eyes. He didn’t care, he knew eventually they would be bright with life again. He was just so happy to see them again that all thought left him, and he was speechless. Tammy smiled weakly at him when he managed to choke out a “Hey”, and blinked slowly, her lids still heavy and tired. “Hey.” she whispered causing Brian to almost break down at the sound of her voice. Though it was tired and hoarse, it was still her voice. He kissed her lips softly, and rested his head on hers. “I thought I lost you.” he whispered. She smiled a little again, “Not yet,” she said softly, taking a few deep breaths, and closing her eyes briefly, “You’re stuck with me for awhile.” she finished with a small grin, wiggling a weak finger at him. He let out a small chuckle, and kissed her forehead. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.” he said locking their eyes again. “I love you.” she whispered touching the side of his face. He smiled, and closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “I love you too.” he said before softly kissing her again.
“Um, I’m going to go call the guys.” Jimmy said, motioning to the door with his thumbs, not really knowing what else to do. Yea he wanted to see her too, but he also knew that they needed time first. Johnny gave him a nod in acknowledgement as he went out the door, and sat on the edge of the bed. “You gave us quite the scare.” Johnny said placing a hand on Tammy’s shoulder. “Sorry.” she said smiling weakly at him, pulling her gaze from Brian. “Yea well don’t do it again.” Brian warned, the smile fading from his face. She looked at him with a smirk. “You know I will.” she said with a grin as she closed her eyes, and shifted a little to get comfortable. “Not if I have anything to do with it.” Brian said with nothing but seriousness. “The worst is over.” Tammy whispered, keeping her eyes closed. She was still very tired.
Johnny and Brian exchanged looks, not really sure what she meant by that. “So what’s the damage doc?” Tammy asked popping her eyes open to look at Johnny. “Well,” he started scratching the back of his head, “The bullet shattered a rib. The impact broke the rib above it and below,” he said as Tammy and Brian listened quietly, “It traveled through your right lung, and out your back.” he explained. Tammy nodded a little, “Well that explains why I feel like I got ran over by a semi.” she mumbled to no one in particular. “I’m going to have to replace the shattered rib, but it can wait,” Johnny said before a smile spread across his face, “There’s something else we need to discuss first.” he said. A knowing smile made its way across Tammy’s face as she instinctively placed a hand over her stomach. She almost said it before him, but the excitement in Johnny’s eyes stopped her. It was obvious he’s been waiting to get this out. “You’re pregnant.” he said almost a little too excited.
Brian’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open. “How?” he asked, the shock never leaving his face. “Well you see baby, when a man and a woman love each other-” Tammy started being cut off by the look Brian gave her. “Oh that’s not what you meant.” she said trying to hold in her smile. “I mean you’re on birth control.” he said. “Everybody knows that’s not 100 percent,” Johnny started “But the measurements I got from the sonogram I did the night you were shot-” “Wait how long have I been out?” Tammy interrupted him. “Five days.” they both answered. “Wow.” she whispered out looking down at her lap. “You did technically die.” Johnny told her. “Yea I know,” she said not looking up, “So you were saying.” she said meeting Johnny’s confused eyes. “You’re about 11 weeks now,” he continued, shaking off what she had said, “You were on antibiotics then, still recovering from Disturbed, and I may have forgotten to tell you it would affect your birth control.” Johnny said avoiding eyes. “How the hell do you forget to mention something like that?” Brian asked still in shock. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve had to remember.” Johnny defended. “Calm down daddy.” Tammy said with a smile looking at Brian.
He quickly met her eyes, and let out a breathy “huh” when it finally sunk in. He was going to be a dad. “Can we come in?” Jimmy asked poking his head in. Tammy waved him in as she continued to watch Brian with amusement, staring at the floor now, his mouth still agape, but you could see a smile pulling at his lips. Jimmy came through the door with the guys in tow, stopping in their tracks when Brian jumped up, “I’m going to be a dad!” he blurted out, causing Tammy to start laughing. “Owe.” she groaned out when pain shot through her chest, but the amused smile never left her face.
The guys looked at them in shock. Obviously that wasn’t the first thing they were expecting to hear walking through the door. “Yay! A baby Gates.” Jimmy cheered, breaking the silence, and rushing over to Tammy’s bed side. He playfully pushed Brian away, and he stumbled to the side. “Hey!” Brian said when he regained his balance. Jimmy just ignored him as he leaned over to give Tammy a gentle hug. “Congratulations.” he said placing a peck on her cheek. “Thanks.“ she said with a wide smile. He turned to face Brian, and the two playfully glared at each other before Jimmy pulled him in for a “bro” hug. “You’re going to name him after me right?” Jimmy asked bouncing with excitement as the rest of the guys came over, greeting and congratulating them. Tammy let out a small chuckle at Jimmy’s excitement. “We can’t Jimmy, I‘m sorry.” she said, watching disappointment wash over his face. “Why not?” he pouted. She smiled and looked at Brian. “Cause she’s a girl.” she said watching a confused smile come across his face. “You don’t know that.” Jimmy countered. “Yes I do.” she said simply looking down at her tummy with a smile. “How could you know that?” Johnny asked with slight confusion. She smiled, and looked up at him. “I died, remember?” she said, leaving them with just that.
Notes
The End :) or :(.... you decide.
Wanted to have this up yesterday, but my power went out for a few hours in the middle of typing it, and I lost half the chapter :(
Happy Sappy Epilogue still to come so don't go anywhere :)
Sequel in the works :) I will post an update to this when I get the first chapter up with the link
I would be interested in a rewrite if that’s what you feel like you wanna do. I would read the new version too, even though I don’t find anything wrong with the original.
9/27/19