The Little Girl
I Thought This Was Over
The ride was silent except for the music that was low in the background. The sky was clouding up and it looked like it was going to rain. I thought about my friends and I knew I would be seeing them soon. I mean every foster home I've been to didn't like the way I was so they kept sending me back to the TLC. We sped down the interstate and I felt the salty air going up into my nose.
"So you play the guitar?"
"Yeah." I said.
"That's cool so do I. I'm actually in a band called..."
"Avenged Sevenfold." I said cutting him off.
"You a fan?"
"Yeah but not a psychotic one. I mean you guys get pulverized by fans where ever you all go. Mostly by little bitches who would do anything for the chance to say, 'I fucked a member of Avneged Sevenfold.' What a bunch of shit." I explained.
"I know right and half those people probably have something that we can't get rid of."
"Or they'll think since you or one of the other guys fucked them, they are in a relationship with you. If you decline they yell rape." I said rolling my eyes.
"Exactly. How did you know that?"
"My uncles are the lead singers of both Five Finger Death Punch and Disturbed." I said.
"Ivan Moody and David Draiman are your uncles?"
"Why do you sound so shocked?" I asked looking at him.
"I was talking to them about wanting a child and they refered me to TLC."
"Really?" I said shocked.
"Yeah. Kind of weird actually but I'll invite them over one day so you can see them again."
"Cool...Thanks." I said and I looked back out the window again. The smell of salt was stronger than before. I looked towards Brian and saw the ocean. I looked ahead of me to a sign that said Welcome To Huntington Beach. He drove a little more down the side of the beach before turning off and into a driveway. He parked the car and we got out.
I looked at him as he carried my things to the door and opened it. He had the look of distraught on his face but I mentioned nothing about it. We walked into the house and he set my things down next to the couch. I looked and seen a woman walk down the stairs and look straight at me.
"Brian I thought I told you I don't want a child." she said and she seemed like a real bitch to me.
"Michelle and I told you I wanted a child. I gave you your options yesterday. You either stay here and help me or you can leave."
"I ain't going anywhere. That bitch can leave though." she said and I rolled my eyes.
"She's not a bitch! If anyone here's a bitch it's you Michelle." I clinched my fists down at me side.
"Brian...I'm sorry if she doesn't want me here then I'll go." I said and turned and ran out the door. I ran until I seen the ocean. The waves were splashing against the shore and I wondered how painless it would be just to fall in. I pushed the thought out of my mind and sat down.
I watched the water roll over and over and over again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked to see Brian.
"What do you want Brian?" I said as he sat down beside me.
"I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Michelle. She never wanted a kid but I do. Personally I think your perfect." I smiled and leaned into his shoulder.
"Let's go home. Michelle left so she won't be bothering you any longer." he said and we stood up and walked back to the house. I grabbed my bag and guitar and Brian showed me to my room. It had black walls with red curtains on the window. I pulled my clothes out of my bag and put them into the dresser and propped my guitar against the wall next to my bed.
I sat down and looked around the room in awe and just trying to take everything in. I picked my guitar up and strapped it on and began to play a song I wrote.
To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye
And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keepin' you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing
And there is no one who can make it right
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
Have lost all of their faith in love
And they've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world's falling on you
You just reach out
You just cry out to Jesus Cry out to Jesus
To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wipin' the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you were ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
I ended the song and heard the sound of clapping and looked up to see Brian. He was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help but blush.
"That was awesome Rage! You have an incredable singing voice!"
"Thanks. I always thought people said that just to make me feel good but coming from you means a lot." I said smiling.
"Hey go and take a shower. Matt just called me and told me that they are having a barbecue over at there house in just a few minutes."
"Alright cool." I said and he left the room. I grabbed me some clothes and went into the bathroom and turned on the water. I stepped into the shower and looked down at my arms. The healed scars from where I would cut, shone brightly.
I finished my shower and stepped out and dried myself off before putting on my black skinny jeans and attaching the handcuff chains. I put on a Vengeance University T-shirt and walked downstairs. We walked out of the house and got into the car once again. He turned to me.
"Here." he said putting a phone in my hand.
"For me?"
"Of course. You have the bands numbers, your uncles', and your friends from the orphanage." He said and I smiled widely.
"Thanks."
"No problem." he said as he backed out of the driveway and sped down the road towards Matt's house. It didn't take long before we pulled into his driveway and got out. Brian grabbed my hand and led me to the door. He knocked and a woman answered the door.
"Brian! Glad you could make it. Who is this?"
"Val this is my daughter Rage. I adopted her this afternoon." he said smiling.
"Sweet." she hugged me tightly and I looked at Brian. He smiled and I hugged the strange woman back.
"Well Sweety, my name is Valary Sanders."
"Nice to meet you." I said smiling. She ushered us into the house.
"Brian go into the kitchen and get yourself and the guys a beer. I'll introduce her to the others." He nodded and she motioned me to follow her. She stepped out the sliding glass door and so did I.
"Guys I would like you to meet Brian's new daughter Rage." They all got up and smothered me in hugs. They all let me go and I seen that woman that was in Brian's house. I think her name was Michelle.
"Val? What is that thing doing here?" she said snotty.
"Michelle give it a rest. You already made your choice to not help Brian so as long as you're here at my house you will be polite." Val warned.
"That little bitch broke my family up! Just like she did to hers when she was born." Michelle got right up in my face and when she said those words, I belted her right in the face and wouldn't stop hitting her in the face over and over again. I have no idea what came over me. I felt 2 pairs of strong arms pulling me off of her as she got to her feet.
She stormed out holding her bloody mouth and nose. Her car sped down the road and the people holding me let go. I looked at Brian and Matt and then my hands covered in blood. Most of it was Michelle's and some was becuse I broke my knuckles. Vengeance came over with a towel and gently applied pressure to my hand. I looked at Brian and he hung his head. I pulled my hand away from Vengeance and walked out of the yard. I made my way down to the peir and stood there looking out into the crashing waves. I looked up at the sky.
"I thought you were supposed to take me away from the fighting! Not add on to it!" I screamed at the sky. I heard a car approach adn stop. I fell to my knees and cried. I felt Brian's strong arms wrap around me and comfort me.
"It's ok shhh." he cooed.
"I'm fine Brian." I said getting up. I looked out over the peir again wiping away my tears.
"Rage...don't pay any attention to Michelle. She doesn't know what you've been through."
"No one does! I was ignored and went through the fights everyday that my parents had over shit. My father bitching at my mother to get off drugs while she screamed and bitched at him to stop being drunk all the time. No one valued my opinion. I hid behind the couch in that old house as they fought. My father in a drunken rage shot and killed my mom as she laid there higher than a damn kite. I peaked my head around the couch and he seen me. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. A neighbor heard the shot and called police and they found me hiding behind the couch with my knees to my chest. I wasn't crying one bit because I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel a bit sad about them dying like that." I explained. The tears dried up and I turned and face Brian. He held me close to him in comfort as I settled down.
We walked over ot the car and got in and Brian drove us back Matt's house. He pulled into the driveway and we walked into the back yard. The girls came over and hugged me and I sat down for Zacky to look at me hand. He wiped off the dried blood and applied a bandage. He smiled at me and I smiled right back.
"Thanks Zacky." I said.
"No problem Rage."
"I'll be right back." Brian said and he disappeared into the house. Minutes later he came back out with a guitar and set it in my lap.
"Brian what are you doing?" I asked confused.
"I think we need a little entertainment and their always listening to me play."
"What do you want me to play?" I asked.
"How about one that you've written?" Gena said smiling and I nodded.
"When you all listen to this song. It was my life. It's called The Little Girl." I began to play and sing.
Her parents never took the young girl to church
Never spoke of His name never read her His word
Two non-believers walking lost in this world
Took their baby with them, what a sad little girl
Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs
Never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs
She'd watch the TV and sit there on the couch
While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out
And the drinking and the fighting
Just got worse every night
Behind their couch she'd be hiding
Oh what a sad little life
And like it always does the bad just got worse
With every slap and every curse
Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night
Used a gun on her mom and then took his life
And some people from the city
Took the girl far away
To a new mom and a new dad
Kisses and hugs everyday
Her first day of Sunday school the teacher walked in
And a small little girl stared at a picture of Him
She said, "I know that Man up there on that cross I don't know His name but I know He got off
'Cause He was there in my old house
He held me close to His side
As I hid there behind our couch The night that my parents died."
I ended the song and wiped a single tear from my eye.
"Play another song. I mean that song was really sad!" Gena said holding back her tears.
"Alright this one is called Immortality." I said and began to play and sing once again.
Vacate is the word, vengeance has no place so near to her
Cannot find the comfort in this world
Artificial tear, vessel stabbed next up volunteers
Vulnerable, wisdom can't adhere
A truant finds home and a wish to hold on
But there's a trapdoor in the sun, immortality
As privileged as a whore, victims in demand for public show
Swept out through the cracks beneath the door
Holier than thou, how?
Surrendered, executed anyhow Scrawl dissolved, cigar box on the floor
A truant finds home and a wish to hold on to
But saw the trapdoor in the sun, immortality
I cannot stop the thought of runnin' in the dark
Comin' up a which way sign, all good truants must decide
Oh, stripped and sold, mom, auctioned forearm
And whispers in the sand
Truants move on, cannot stay long Some die just to live
They all clapped when the song was over and they requested songs by different bands that I knew and I sang and hit every note perfectly. We all went into the house after we ate and watched some TV. I was curled up against Brian and fell right off to sleep.
"So you play the guitar?"
"Yeah." I said.
"That's cool so do I. I'm actually in a band called..."
"Avenged Sevenfold." I said cutting him off.
"You a fan?"
"Yeah but not a psychotic one. I mean you guys get pulverized by fans where ever you all go. Mostly by little bitches who would do anything for the chance to say, 'I fucked a member of Avneged Sevenfold.' What a bunch of shit." I explained.
"I know right and half those people probably have something that we can't get rid of."
"Or they'll think since you or one of the other guys fucked them, they are in a relationship with you. If you decline they yell rape." I said rolling my eyes.
"Exactly. How did you know that?"
"My uncles are the lead singers of both Five Finger Death Punch and Disturbed." I said.
"Ivan Moody and David Draiman are your uncles?"
"Why do you sound so shocked?" I asked looking at him.
"I was talking to them about wanting a child and they refered me to TLC."
"Really?" I said shocked.
"Yeah. Kind of weird actually but I'll invite them over one day so you can see them again."
"Cool...Thanks." I said and I looked back out the window again. The smell of salt was stronger than before. I looked towards Brian and saw the ocean. I looked ahead of me to a sign that said Welcome To Huntington Beach. He drove a little more down the side of the beach before turning off and into a driveway. He parked the car and we got out.
I looked at him as he carried my things to the door and opened it. He had the look of distraught on his face but I mentioned nothing about it. We walked into the house and he set my things down next to the couch. I looked and seen a woman walk down the stairs and look straight at me.
"Brian I thought I told you I don't want a child." she said and she seemed like a real bitch to me.
"Michelle and I told you I wanted a child. I gave you your options yesterday. You either stay here and help me or you can leave."
"I ain't going anywhere. That bitch can leave though." she said and I rolled my eyes.
"She's not a bitch! If anyone here's a bitch it's you Michelle." I clinched my fists down at me side.
"Brian...I'm sorry if she doesn't want me here then I'll go." I said and turned and ran out the door. I ran until I seen the ocean. The waves were splashing against the shore and I wondered how painless it would be just to fall in. I pushed the thought out of my mind and sat down.
I watched the water roll over and over and over again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked to see Brian.
"What do you want Brian?" I said as he sat down beside me.
"I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Michelle. She never wanted a kid but I do. Personally I think your perfect." I smiled and leaned into his shoulder.
"Let's go home. Michelle left so she won't be bothering you any longer." he said and we stood up and walked back to the house. I grabbed my bag and guitar and Brian showed me to my room. It had black walls with red curtains on the window. I pulled my clothes out of my bag and put them into the dresser and propped my guitar against the wall next to my bed.
I sat down and looked around the room in awe and just trying to take everything in. I picked my guitar up and strapped it on and began to play a song I wrote.
To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye
And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keepin' you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing
And there is no one who can make it right
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
Have lost all of their faith in love
And they've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world's falling on you
You just reach out
You just cry out to Jesus Cry out to Jesus
To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wipin' the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you where ever you are
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you were ever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
I ended the song and heard the sound of clapping and looked up to see Brian. He was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help but blush.
"That was awesome Rage! You have an incredable singing voice!"
"Thanks. I always thought people said that just to make me feel good but coming from you means a lot." I said smiling.
"Hey go and take a shower. Matt just called me and told me that they are having a barbecue over at there house in just a few minutes."
"Alright cool." I said and he left the room. I grabbed me some clothes and went into the bathroom and turned on the water. I stepped into the shower and looked down at my arms. The healed scars from where I would cut, shone brightly.
I finished my shower and stepped out and dried myself off before putting on my black skinny jeans and attaching the handcuff chains. I put on a Vengeance University T-shirt and walked downstairs. We walked out of the house and got into the car once again. He turned to me.
"Here." he said putting a phone in my hand.
"For me?"
"Of course. You have the bands numbers, your uncles', and your friends from the orphanage." He said and I smiled widely.
"Thanks."
"No problem." he said as he backed out of the driveway and sped down the road towards Matt's house. It didn't take long before we pulled into his driveway and got out. Brian grabbed my hand and led me to the door. He knocked and a woman answered the door.
"Brian! Glad you could make it. Who is this?"
"Val this is my daughter Rage. I adopted her this afternoon." he said smiling.
"Sweet." she hugged me tightly and I looked at Brian. He smiled and I hugged the strange woman back.
"Well Sweety, my name is Valary Sanders."
"Nice to meet you." I said smiling. She ushered us into the house.
"Brian go into the kitchen and get yourself and the guys a beer. I'll introduce her to the others." He nodded and she motioned me to follow her. She stepped out the sliding glass door and so did I.
"Guys I would like you to meet Brian's new daughter Rage." They all got up and smothered me in hugs. They all let me go and I seen that woman that was in Brian's house. I think her name was Michelle.
"Val? What is that thing doing here?" she said snotty.
"Michelle give it a rest. You already made your choice to not help Brian so as long as you're here at my house you will be polite." Val warned.
"That little bitch broke my family up! Just like she did to hers when she was born." Michelle got right up in my face and when she said those words, I belted her right in the face and wouldn't stop hitting her in the face over and over again. I have no idea what came over me. I felt 2 pairs of strong arms pulling me off of her as she got to her feet.
She stormed out holding her bloody mouth and nose. Her car sped down the road and the people holding me let go. I looked at Brian and Matt and then my hands covered in blood. Most of it was Michelle's and some was becuse I broke my knuckles. Vengeance came over with a towel and gently applied pressure to my hand. I looked at Brian and he hung his head. I pulled my hand away from Vengeance and walked out of the yard. I made my way down to the peir and stood there looking out into the crashing waves. I looked up at the sky.
"I thought you were supposed to take me away from the fighting! Not add on to it!" I screamed at the sky. I heard a car approach adn stop. I fell to my knees and cried. I felt Brian's strong arms wrap around me and comfort me.
"It's ok shhh." he cooed.
"I'm fine Brian." I said getting up. I looked out over the peir again wiping away my tears.
"Rage...don't pay any attention to Michelle. She doesn't know what you've been through."
"No one does! I was ignored and went through the fights everyday that my parents had over shit. My father bitching at my mother to get off drugs while she screamed and bitched at him to stop being drunk all the time. No one valued my opinion. I hid behind the couch in that old house as they fought. My father in a drunken rage shot and killed my mom as she laid there higher than a damn kite. I peaked my head around the couch and he seen me. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. A neighbor heard the shot and called police and they found me hiding behind the couch with my knees to my chest. I wasn't crying one bit because I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel a bit sad about them dying like that." I explained. The tears dried up and I turned and face Brian. He held me close to him in comfort as I settled down.
We walked over ot the car and got in and Brian drove us back Matt's house. He pulled into the driveway and we walked into the back yard. The girls came over and hugged me and I sat down for Zacky to look at me hand. He wiped off the dried blood and applied a bandage. He smiled at me and I smiled right back.
"Thanks Zacky." I said.
"No problem Rage."
"I'll be right back." Brian said and he disappeared into the house. Minutes later he came back out with a guitar and set it in my lap.
"Brian what are you doing?" I asked confused.
"I think we need a little entertainment and their always listening to me play."
"What do you want me to play?" I asked.
"How about one that you've written?" Gena said smiling and I nodded.
"When you all listen to this song. It was my life. It's called The Little Girl." I began to play and sing.
Her parents never took the young girl to church
Never spoke of His name never read her His word
Two non-believers walking lost in this world
Took their baby with them, what a sad little girl
Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs
Never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs
She'd watch the TV and sit there on the couch
While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out
And the drinking and the fighting
Just got worse every night
Behind their couch she'd be hiding
Oh what a sad little life
And like it always does the bad just got worse
With every slap and every curse
Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night
Used a gun on her mom and then took his life
And some people from the city
Took the girl far away
To a new mom and a new dad
Kisses and hugs everyday
Her first day of Sunday school the teacher walked in
And a small little girl stared at a picture of Him
She said, "I know that Man up there on that cross I don't know His name but I know He got off
'Cause He was there in my old house
He held me close to His side
As I hid there behind our couch The night that my parents died."
I ended the song and wiped a single tear from my eye.
"Play another song. I mean that song was really sad!" Gena said holding back her tears.
"Alright this one is called Immortality." I said and began to play and sing once again.
Vacate is the word, vengeance has no place so near to her
Cannot find the comfort in this world
Artificial tear, vessel stabbed next up volunteers
Vulnerable, wisdom can't adhere
A truant finds home and a wish to hold on
But there's a trapdoor in the sun, immortality
As privileged as a whore, victims in demand for public show
Swept out through the cracks beneath the door
Holier than thou, how?
Surrendered, executed anyhow Scrawl dissolved, cigar box on the floor
A truant finds home and a wish to hold on to
But saw the trapdoor in the sun, immortality
I cannot stop the thought of runnin' in the dark
Comin' up a which way sign, all good truants must decide
Oh, stripped and sold, mom, auctioned forearm
And whispers in the sand
Truants move on, cannot stay long Some die just to live
They all clapped when the song was over and they requested songs by different bands that I knew and I sang and hit every note perfectly. We all went into the house after we ate and watched some TV. I was curled up against Brian and fell right off to sleep.
11/15/13