The Little Girl
Celebrating (Part 2)
After the guys finished practicing we all drove over to Matt's house. I had no idea why we were going here but I could care less. We walked into the house and outside where Matt was running the grill. The girls were sitting at the patio table talking away until they seen me. They all got up and ran over hugging me to death.
"Why is everyone killing me with hugs today?" I asked.
"We're celebrating on your victory of course."
"Oh I see." I said and they sat me down at the table. I wasnt listening to their conversations at all. All I could hear were my thoughts talking loudly in my head. I got up and walked into the house and into Matt's hall bathroom.
I pulled out the razor from my pocket and pulled up my pants leg. I was just about to cut my leg when the door opened revealing Val. She stepped fully in locking the door behind her. She grabbed the razor from my hand and looked at me.
"What the hell were you about to do?" she whispered.
"I want to cut Val. I need it."
"No you don't. We are all here to help you." She said.
"Help me? With what? Cutting my legs all to shit helps me focus on what I need to do. Why can't you all just see that?" I unlocked the door and she followed me into the kitchen.
"If I find one more cut mark on you, I will tell Brian." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm serious Rage. I have no idea what he would do if he lost you." Her eyes were full of concern but I didnt care. I put on a fake sad face and promiced I wouldn't do it again. I walked out of the kitchen and to the others with Val.
I watched as they ate and got drunk. Jimmy and Johnny were drunkenly arguing and so were the girls. Matt was passed out already and everyone seemed to be about to do the same. I walked away from them and went back into the house. I grabbed me some water out of the fridge and went out the front door. I was not staying here with a bunch of drunk people not right now and not today. I made my way down the road until I came to the cemetary where Jason is buried. I easily found his grave and sat there staring at his name. I wished so badly he didnt have to die in that car accident. Maybe I would never get blamed for it. He would still be alive and his grandparents would be able to see him and help him out... I sat there and it started to get cold but I didn't give a shit. I curled up against his headstone and closed my eyes. I couldn't stay away as sleep took me over.
"Why is everyone killing me with hugs today?" I asked.
"We're celebrating on your victory of course."
"Oh I see." I said and they sat me down at the table. I wasnt listening to their conversations at all. All I could hear were my thoughts talking loudly in my head. I got up and walked into the house and into Matt's hall bathroom.
I pulled out the razor from my pocket and pulled up my pants leg. I was just about to cut my leg when the door opened revealing Val. She stepped fully in locking the door behind her. She grabbed the razor from my hand and looked at me.
"What the hell were you about to do?" she whispered.
"I want to cut Val. I need it."
"No you don't. We are all here to help you." She said.
"Help me? With what? Cutting my legs all to shit helps me focus on what I need to do. Why can't you all just see that?" I unlocked the door and she followed me into the kitchen.
"If I find one more cut mark on you, I will tell Brian." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm serious Rage. I have no idea what he would do if he lost you." Her eyes were full of concern but I didnt care. I put on a fake sad face and promiced I wouldn't do it again. I walked out of the kitchen and to the others with Val.
I watched as they ate and got drunk. Jimmy and Johnny were drunkenly arguing and so were the girls. Matt was passed out already and everyone seemed to be about to do the same. I walked away from them and went back into the house. I grabbed me some water out of the fridge and went out the front door. I was not staying here with a bunch of drunk people not right now and not today. I made my way down the road until I came to the cemetary where Jason is buried. I easily found his grave and sat there staring at his name. I wished so badly he didnt have to die in that car accident. Maybe I would never get blamed for it. He would still be alive and his grandparents would be able to see him and help him out... I sat there and it started to get cold but I didn't give a shit. I curled up against his headstone and closed my eyes. I couldn't stay away as sleep took me over.
11/15/13