The Little Girl
Why? Why him?
I was released from the hospital 2 days later and Brian was handling Jason's funeral arrangements. The recieving of friends was tomorrow and Brian let all the people in my therapy group know of his passing. I was sitting on the couch by myself thinking about Jason and the last thing I ever said to him.
I need to get home.
Why was that the last thing I ever said? Why didn't I say something meaningful? I found out from a police report that a semi truck hit us running the red light. It flipped the car over ejecting Jason out of the driver's seat. I looked down at my broken body and I couldn't help but let the tears fall down my face. I picked up my phone and dialed Val's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Val." I said.
"Rage? Are you alright?"
"I'm in pain. Can you come over?" I asked with tears running down my face.
"Of course. Do you want me to bring the rest of the girls?"
"Yeah. I could use some company." I said.
"Alright. I'll be over in 10."
"Alright." I said and we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. I reached down carefully as I changed the channel to the weather channel to watch Forces Of Nature.
I heard a knock at the door and I knew it was Val. I slowly got to my feet and walked, or should I say hobble, over to the door opening it.
"Girl are you supposed to be up walking around?"
"No but I can't sit here all day." I said stepping aside so her and the girls could come in. I shut the door before they hugged me carefully and Val helped me back over to the couch.
"Where's your medicine?"
"In the cabinet in the kitchen." I said and she nodded before leaving the room. Gena, Lacey, and Leana sat around me.
"How are you doing?" Lacey asked.
"I'm alright."
"Are you sure?" Gena said. I looked into her eyes and mine spilled with tears.
"I was thinking about what I said to Jason right before the accident. The last thing I said to him....'I need to get home,' Why didn't I say something meaningful? Something compassionate?"
"I don't know Rage. You weren't expecting to be in an accident and lose a special friend." Gena said rubbing my shoulder.
"But Why Gena? Why him? I mean he had been through a lot and now he's gone...I can't deal with that." The girls hugged me as Val brought me the medicine. I took the pills and water from her and chugged it down.
"What kind of medicine did he give you?"
"Morphine and delodin." I said smiling. I could feel the meds taking affect already.
"Lord have mercy. She's higher than a kite." I couldnt help but laugh at Leana's comment. When I laughed the rest of the girls laughed. I was feeling no pain physically but mentally the thoughts of the accident came back full force. I could still hear my screams as the truck hit us and seeing the blury object that laid near the edge of the road. I closed my eyes and tears fell down once more.
"More pain?"
"No no. I'm goooood." I said slurring my words. The girls sat around with me until the guys came home. Brian came through the door and I waved crazily at him and laughed.
"Damn those meds are making her trip out."
"I ain't trippin' youse triippppin'!" I said laughing. I looked over at him as he knelt down in from of me.
"Zacky needs to look at your stitches."
"Oh no I don't think so Brian." I said shaking my head.
"Oh yes he is. Zacky!"
"Brian! Don't you dare! I'm fine!" I yelled and he rolled his eyes.
"You know what the doctor said. Those stitches have to be cleaned." I sighed just as Zacky came into the room with the alcohol. He knelt down where Brian was and began cleaning the stitches. I cringed at the pain as the alcohol connected with the stitches.
He accidently hit one too hard and I kicked him in balls with my good leg. Jimmy held my shoulders while Brian had my leg and Matt held my head. When Zacky finished, the meds wore off and seen he was still in pain from my kick.
"Zacky I'm sorry about that." I said.
"It's alright. I know I hit one of your stitches too hard." I smiled and he kissed my cheek. I looked down at my phone and it was 4 in the afternoon and the girl's took me into the hall bathroom to get dressed while the boys went upstairs. I was finished and they sat me back down.
My ribs were hurting but I didn't let the guys see my pain. I needed to feel something. The guys came down minutes later and we all went to the SUV. Brian put my in the passenger seat while the others got into the back. I looked out the window until we pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home. I seen Dr. Canon's car and all the people in my therapy group standing outside with him. Brian parked and cut the engine. Matt got out first and helped me out with Brian holding me under one arm and Matt on the other. Dave, Roxy, Kasey, Donny, and Christy came over and hugged me gently and Dave seen all the stitches that covered my face.
"That's a lot of stitches. How many do you have?"
"From what I've been told, I have 200." I said trying to smile.
"Damn girl!" Kasey said. I didn't think all the people in the group would show but I was proven wrong. Brian and Matt helped me into the funeral home and when I seen the casket in the from of the room, my eyes filled with tears and threatened to flow over.
We walked slowly up to the front as people looked over at me. I stood there in front of the lifeless body of Jason. His head was shaved and you could see where the stitches turned to staples once they hit his hairline. I extended my arm the best I could and ran my hand over his head. His skin was as cold as ice. I hung my head and Brian and Matt took me over to my seat. The guys and girls sat down along with Dr. Canon and my therapy group. People started flowing in and looking at his body before looking at me. I didn't know if it was hatred or what but I wasn't liking it. Soon the preacher came up and spoke some words and read sciptures. I looked down at my feet the whole time. I didn't want to look up and see Jason's body just laying there. I don't think I could take it. The Preacher was praying and I looked up to see his body. Tears flowed again down my cheeks. People went up to see his body one last time before leaving the funeral home. I kept seated until it was only me, the guys and girls, Dr. Canon, and my friends from therapy. Brian and Matt helped me up.
"I want to go alone." I said and they nodded. I took a step forward and kept going until I reached his body once again. I leaned over his casket and tears flowed down. I wiped them away but one tear drop fell directly under his eye. It looked like he shed a tear.
"I can't let you go...Jason." I whispered to him. I ran my hand again on his icy cold skin before turning to the guys. I stood back as the group came up. Roxy shed tears and so did Christy.
I hung my head and the guys helped me back out to the car. I again was in the front seat. I looked out the window as the rest of the guys piled into the SUV and drove back to the house. The ride was silent and so was I. I wasn't talking to anyone anytime soon. Brian pulled into the drive and cut the engine. I opened the door and got out myself and shut the door. I began walking to the door before the guys could even help me. Brian unlocked the door and I went in before the others. I went to the stairs and made my way up and I heard someone following me. It was most likely the girls. I reached my room and we all went in and Gena got out my pajamas. The helped me change and lay down in bed. The girls said goodnight and shut off my light before leaving my room. I laid there not wanting to sleep but I couldn't force my eyes to stay open.
I need to get home.
Why was that the last thing I ever said? Why didn't I say something meaningful? I found out from a police report that a semi truck hit us running the red light. It flipped the car over ejecting Jason out of the driver's seat. I looked down at my broken body and I couldn't help but let the tears fall down my face. I picked up my phone and dialed Val's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Val." I said.
"Rage? Are you alright?"
"I'm in pain. Can you come over?" I asked with tears running down my face.
"Of course. Do you want me to bring the rest of the girls?"
"Yeah. I could use some company." I said.
"Alright. I'll be over in 10."
"Alright." I said and we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. I reached down carefully as I changed the channel to the weather channel to watch Forces Of Nature.
I heard a knock at the door and I knew it was Val. I slowly got to my feet and walked, or should I say hobble, over to the door opening it.
"Girl are you supposed to be up walking around?"
"No but I can't sit here all day." I said stepping aside so her and the girls could come in. I shut the door before they hugged me carefully and Val helped me back over to the couch.
"Where's your medicine?"
"In the cabinet in the kitchen." I said and she nodded before leaving the room. Gena, Lacey, and Leana sat around me.
"How are you doing?" Lacey asked.
"I'm alright."
"Are you sure?" Gena said. I looked into her eyes and mine spilled with tears.
"I was thinking about what I said to Jason right before the accident. The last thing I said to him....'I need to get home,' Why didn't I say something meaningful? Something compassionate?"
"I don't know Rage. You weren't expecting to be in an accident and lose a special friend." Gena said rubbing my shoulder.
"But Why Gena? Why him? I mean he had been through a lot and now he's gone...I can't deal with that." The girls hugged me as Val brought me the medicine. I took the pills and water from her and chugged it down.
"What kind of medicine did he give you?"
"Morphine and delodin." I said smiling. I could feel the meds taking affect already.
"Lord have mercy. She's higher than a kite." I couldnt help but laugh at Leana's comment. When I laughed the rest of the girls laughed. I was feeling no pain physically but mentally the thoughts of the accident came back full force. I could still hear my screams as the truck hit us and seeing the blury object that laid near the edge of the road. I closed my eyes and tears fell down once more.
"More pain?"
"No no. I'm goooood." I said slurring my words. The girls sat around with me until the guys came home. Brian came through the door and I waved crazily at him and laughed.
"Damn those meds are making her trip out."
"I ain't trippin' youse triippppin'!" I said laughing. I looked over at him as he knelt down in from of me.
"Zacky needs to look at your stitches."
"Oh no I don't think so Brian." I said shaking my head.
"Oh yes he is. Zacky!"
"Brian! Don't you dare! I'm fine!" I yelled and he rolled his eyes.
"You know what the doctor said. Those stitches have to be cleaned." I sighed just as Zacky came into the room with the alcohol. He knelt down where Brian was and began cleaning the stitches. I cringed at the pain as the alcohol connected with the stitches.
He accidently hit one too hard and I kicked him in balls with my good leg. Jimmy held my shoulders while Brian had my leg and Matt held my head. When Zacky finished, the meds wore off and seen he was still in pain from my kick.
"Zacky I'm sorry about that." I said.
"It's alright. I know I hit one of your stitches too hard." I smiled and he kissed my cheek. I looked down at my phone and it was 4 in the afternoon and the girl's took me into the hall bathroom to get dressed while the boys went upstairs. I was finished and they sat me back down.
My ribs were hurting but I didn't let the guys see my pain. I needed to feel something. The guys came down minutes later and we all went to the SUV. Brian put my in the passenger seat while the others got into the back. I looked out the window until we pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home. I seen Dr. Canon's car and all the people in my therapy group standing outside with him. Brian parked and cut the engine. Matt got out first and helped me out with Brian holding me under one arm and Matt on the other. Dave, Roxy, Kasey, Donny, and Christy came over and hugged me gently and Dave seen all the stitches that covered my face.
"That's a lot of stitches. How many do you have?"
"From what I've been told, I have 200." I said trying to smile.
"Damn girl!" Kasey said. I didn't think all the people in the group would show but I was proven wrong. Brian and Matt helped me into the funeral home and when I seen the casket in the from of the room, my eyes filled with tears and threatened to flow over.
We walked slowly up to the front as people looked over at me. I stood there in front of the lifeless body of Jason. His head was shaved and you could see where the stitches turned to staples once they hit his hairline. I extended my arm the best I could and ran my hand over his head. His skin was as cold as ice. I hung my head and Brian and Matt took me over to my seat. The guys and girls sat down along with Dr. Canon and my therapy group. People started flowing in and looking at his body before looking at me. I didn't know if it was hatred or what but I wasn't liking it. Soon the preacher came up and spoke some words and read sciptures. I looked down at my feet the whole time. I didn't want to look up and see Jason's body just laying there. I don't think I could take it. The Preacher was praying and I looked up to see his body. Tears flowed again down my cheeks. People went up to see his body one last time before leaving the funeral home. I kept seated until it was only me, the guys and girls, Dr. Canon, and my friends from therapy. Brian and Matt helped me up.
"I want to go alone." I said and they nodded. I took a step forward and kept going until I reached his body once again. I leaned over his casket and tears flowed down. I wiped them away but one tear drop fell directly under his eye. It looked like he shed a tear.
"I can't let you go...Jason." I whispered to him. I ran my hand again on his icy cold skin before turning to the guys. I stood back as the group came up. Roxy shed tears and so did Christy.
I hung my head and the guys helped me back out to the car. I again was in the front seat. I looked out the window as the rest of the guys piled into the SUV and drove back to the house. The ride was silent and so was I. I wasn't talking to anyone anytime soon. Brian pulled into the drive and cut the engine. I opened the door and got out myself and shut the door. I began walking to the door before the guys could even help me. Brian unlocked the door and I went in before the others. I went to the stairs and made my way up and I heard someone following me. It was most likely the girls. I reached my room and we all went in and Gena got out my pajamas. The helped me change and lay down in bed. The girls said goodnight and shut off my light before leaving my room. I laid there not wanting to sleep but I couldn't force my eyes to stay open.
11/15/13