The Little Girl
This Is Amazing!
These last few weeks of touring was a blast! I rocked out every night to their concerts plus my uncles. Jason called me every night asking how I was feeling and shit while he sat at home bored out of his mind. Jason and I talked about things we liked and didn't like and people we hated too. I told him about Michelle and he said she sounded like a real bitch. Of course that was an understatement. I was currently in the tour bus talking to Jason as the guys walked in drunker than shit. I shook my head as I laid in my bunk alone. I got off the phone with him a few minutes later and closed my eyes to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up early to loud snores sounding throughout the bus. I got up and started making breakfast for the guys and laid out water and pills for their hangovers. Breakfast was finished and the guys still weren't awake. I grabbed the bottles and pills and went to wake up the guys. I woke them up one by one handing them water and pills and telling them that I prepared breakfast. Zacky heard food and got up and rushed to the front of the bus. I swear all he does is eat. I sat down on the couch watching the guys eat. Today we were heading to our last stop...Mobile. Matt Berry was driving the bus while the others played on the Xbox. I went to the back where the guitars were and grabbed one. I started playing a song I learned while at the orphanage.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most Is being so close
And havin' so much to say (Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say (To say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, oooh
The song ended and Zacky was standing there listening. I smiled and so did he. He sat down beside me.
"That was beautiful. Did you write that?"
"Yeah." I said smiling.
"You have a talent...Singing and playing." He sat there a few more minutes before we were called to the front for something to eat. I ate in silence thinking about what might happen when I see their graves. I brought out of my thoughts once again my Zacky.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing." I lied.
"You can tell me."
"It's not that I don't want to tell you..." I started but stopped.
"What is it?" I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said getting up and walking to my bunk. I shut my curtain but it opened back up shortly after I closed it.
"Why don't you want to to talk about anything now?" I felt the bus stop and I sat up looking out the window. We stopped at a rest stop.
"Zacky please drop it." I said hanging my feet over the side of the bed.
"No..Talk to me." I stayed silent hanging my head and swinging my feet.
"Is this about visiting the grave of your parents later?" I looked up at him.
"I know how you feel." I looked at him confused and stood to me feet.
"You know I feel? You don't have the slightest fucking clue what I'm going through! Don't try to pretend you do because you fucking don't!" I yelled walking away from him. I pushed open the door violently and walked away from the bus. I heard running feet coming towards me as tears ran down my face. I felt a strong hand pull me back and I looked and seen my Uncle David. He held me close to him as I cried.
"Baby girl...You can do this. I told the guys that we'll park the buses at the venue and head over to the cemetary."
"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough!" I almost yelled again. David rubbed my back as Brian and Matt came over. I let go of my uncle and walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DAVID'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What's wrong with Rage?"
"She needs some time." I said to Brian. My neice was hurting and I couldn't fix the hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BRIAN'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate seeing her like this. I walked over to her as she sat down on a bench. She leaned into my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her.
"Baby, you're going to be fine. I know it's going to be hard for you to see the graves of your parents but all of us are going to be there if you need us." I said and she looked up at me. I smiled and she buried her face into my arm. We sat there for a few more minutes before the guys yelled at us to get back on the bus. I looked at her and she was sound asleep. I picked her up and carried her over to bus and once I got up the steps I laid her in Matt's lap. He held her like a baby. I walked off to the back and we began to drive to the venue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RAGE'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up and seen Matt holding me. I shifted and he looked down at me smiling and I smiled back. I sat up and looked around for Zacky. Matt must have known because he pointed to the back. I got up and walked back to find Zacky. I heard a guitar and opened the curtain. He stopped and I smiled.
"What do you want?"
"I came to say that I'm sorry. Zacky I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." I said sitting down beside him. He looked over at me and smiled.
"I forgive you. I can't stay mad at you anyways." I hugged him tightly and watched him play and sing for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up early to loud snores sounding throughout the bus. I got up and started making breakfast for the guys and laid out water and pills for their hangovers. Breakfast was finished and the guys still weren't awake. I grabbed the bottles and pills and went to wake up the guys. I woke them up one by one handing them water and pills and telling them that I prepared breakfast. Zacky heard food and got up and rushed to the front of the bus. I swear all he does is eat. I sat down on the couch watching the guys eat. Today we were heading to our last stop...Mobile. Matt Berry was driving the bus while the others played on the Xbox. I went to the back where the guitars were and grabbed one. I started playing a song I learned while at the orphanage.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most Is being so close
And havin' so much to say (Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say (To say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, oooh
The song ended and Zacky was standing there listening. I smiled and so did he. He sat down beside me.
"That was beautiful. Did you write that?"
"Yeah." I said smiling.
"You have a talent...Singing and playing." He sat there a few more minutes before we were called to the front for something to eat. I ate in silence thinking about what might happen when I see their graves. I brought out of my thoughts once again my Zacky.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing." I lied.
"You can tell me."
"It's not that I don't want to tell you..." I started but stopped.
"What is it?" I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said getting up and walking to my bunk. I shut my curtain but it opened back up shortly after I closed it.
"Why don't you want to to talk about anything now?" I felt the bus stop and I sat up looking out the window. We stopped at a rest stop.
"Zacky please drop it." I said hanging my feet over the side of the bed.
"No..Talk to me." I stayed silent hanging my head and swinging my feet.
"Is this about visiting the grave of your parents later?" I looked up at him.
"I know how you feel." I looked at him confused and stood to me feet.
"You know I feel? You don't have the slightest fucking clue what I'm going through! Don't try to pretend you do because you fucking don't!" I yelled walking away from him. I pushed open the door violently and walked away from the bus. I heard running feet coming towards me as tears ran down my face. I felt a strong hand pull me back and I looked and seen my Uncle David. He held me close to him as I cried.
"Baby girl...You can do this. I told the guys that we'll park the buses at the venue and head over to the cemetary."
"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough!" I almost yelled again. David rubbed my back as Brian and Matt came over. I let go of my uncle and walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DAVID'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What's wrong with Rage?"
"She needs some time." I said to Brian. My neice was hurting and I couldn't fix the hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BRIAN'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate seeing her like this. I walked over to her as she sat down on a bench. She leaned into my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her.
"Baby, you're going to be fine. I know it's going to be hard for you to see the graves of your parents but all of us are going to be there if you need us." I said and she looked up at me. I smiled and she buried her face into my arm. We sat there for a few more minutes before the guys yelled at us to get back on the bus. I looked at her and she was sound asleep. I picked her up and carried her over to bus and once I got up the steps I laid her in Matt's lap. He held her like a baby. I walked off to the back and we began to drive to the venue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RAGE'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up and seen Matt holding me. I shifted and he looked down at me smiling and I smiled back. I sat up and looked around for Zacky. Matt must have known because he pointed to the back. I got up and walked back to find Zacky. I heard a guitar and opened the curtain. He stopped and I smiled.
"What do you want?"
"I came to say that I'm sorry. Zacky I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." I said sitting down beside him. He looked over at me and smiled.
"I forgive you. I can't stay mad at you anyways." I hugged him tightly and watched him play and sing for me.
11/15/13