The First

I quickly realize, after closing the door on Dave, that I was due to leave the house. I peek out of the peep hole, until I lose sight of him, and decide it is safe to leave, heading to Brian's house for the BBQ.

I can't believe he just showed up on my doorstep like that. What are the fucking odds that I would pick an apartment directly across from his? How dare that bastard come around and try to apologize after all the shit he's done to me. Fuck him.

My anger is coursing through my veins, as I pull up to Brian's house. I need a moment to recuperate and try to calm myself, before I go in. I switch off the engine, pulling the keys out of the ignition, and lean my head on the steering wheel. I take deep breaths, in and out, focusing on my breathing. I've been trying to find new ways to cope with my emotions, besides lashing out all of the time or running away.

So far, I've been doing better, minus the night I threw the pillow at Brian, demanding he get out of my apartment. He's honestly lucky that was the first thing I could find to throw at him. I hate to think of the damage I could have caused, had I grabbed a lamp or something with more weight to it. I'm fucking crazy, I have been since I can remember. I guess having a fucked up childhood does this shit to you.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by a tapping at my window. I jump, jerking my head up, and subsequently managing to hit my head on the roof of my car.

"Fuck!" I say, rubbing a hand on the back of my head. I get out of the car to greet Zach.

"Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He's trying to hold back his laughter.

"You think that's funny, asshole?" I playfully punch him in the shoulder.

He laughs in return, then apologizes. "Everything alright?" He asks, and his laughter quickly disappears, his face turning serious, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answer shortly. "Or so I was, before you scared the shit outta me." I laugh.

"Sorry." He mumbles again, grabbing a cigarette out of his back pocket.

I haven't smoked in years, since leaving Boston. I gave it a very brief shot, while with Lucas, but I couldn't stand constantly smelling like the shit. Seeing Zach now, cigarette hanging from his lips, as he flicks his lighter in front of it, sparks something in me, and I find myself wanting the familiar release. Just one drag, I tell myself. After all, it's just a cigarette.

"Do you mind sharing?" I ask, as I stand next to him.

"You smoke?" He asks, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and handing it to me.

"No." I laugh, taking a long drag.

"Gotcha." He laughs.

I hand him back the cigarette and we stand in silence for a few moments.

"I tried it once or twice." I admit to him. "I was living in Boston, and my... umm... boyfriend smoked. I found out pretty quickly that I hated it."

"I'm confused." He laughs.

"I don't smoke, I just wanted one drag." I smile and nudge his shoulder. "Thanks for sharing."

"No problem." He takes another drag. "So you're boyfriend..." He trails off, not knowing what to say.

"We were talking about smoking." I laugh.

"But you mentioned a boyfriend." He says.

"I did." I admit. "And no he's no longer around, obviously, he's in Boston. He really wasn't my boyfriend, anyway."

Zach gives me a questioning look, and I don't know why, but I continue. Something tells me I can trust him with this information. I still don't want to give too much information away, though, so I have to tread carefully.

"He was married." I say, and Zach frowns.

"Oh."

"Before you jump to any conclusions, I didn't know he was married when I started seeing him."

"When did you find out?"

"Not until months later, when his wife..."

"Hey! I was wondering when you'd be here." Brian yells from the door to the house, and Zach and I turn to him.

"I'm here!" I yell back, feeling stupid for not coming up with anything better to say.

"I can see that." Brian laughs. "What are you doing out in the front yard with that loser?" He asks, pointing to Zach. "The party is in the back."

Zach flips a middle finger at him, and puts out his cigarette. "I guess we better go join the party." He smiles at me. "We'll continue this some other time." He half questions, half states, and walks to the house.

I follow behind him and greet Brian at the door. "I was just reprimanding him for scaring the shit out of me in my car." I say to him, answering his earlier question.

"He has a habit of being a creep." Brian laughs and Zach yells at him.

"Fuck off!" Zach disappears through the house, and soon I hear a door shutting.

"Was Lindsey not able to come?" Brian asks.

"Oh fuck." I say, eyes going wide. "I forgot to invite her!" Brian laughs at this.

"You can still invite her, if you want."

"Yeah, I'll call her." I say, pulling my phone from my purse.

I call her, but she doesn't answer. Instead, I get a text not even five seconds after I hang up from her voicemail.

Can't talk right now, at a family dinner. Call you later.

I decide not to text back, as I don't want to bother her during her time with her family. I'll just have to tell her later what she missed out on.

--

"Another one!" Johnny says, and hands me another shot glass. He holds his own shot glass up and clinks it against mine. He brings it to his mouth and downs the liquid quickly. I do the same with mine.

I'm not sure what it is about this man, but he's always wanting me to do shots with him. I don't know what it is about me, but I always end up agreeing to it.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you like me better drunk." I say pointedly to Johnny.

"Well..." He laughs and smirks at me. Brian shoots him a glare. "Hey, hey." He says to Brian. "I'm just trying to get her to lighten up and have a good time."

"What are you saying? I can be quite fun when I'm sober too, I will have you know."

"Nothing. Just that you always seem stressed out about something. Liquor helps." He smiles.

"Sometimes too much." I laugh and hand him my empty shot glass to refill. He takes it and gladly does just that.

"You know you don't have to drink with him if you don't want." Brian says.

"I'm not the only one drinking." I smile at him and motion to the rest of the group. Zach, Matt and Brooks all have drinks in their hands. "In fact, you're the only one not drinking." I poke him in the side. "Why's that?"

"Ehh, I just don't feel like drinking tonight." He says nonchalantly and looks over to the pool. "I think I'm gonna take a swim." He stands up from the chair next to me and pulls his shirt over his head, exposing his tattooed chest. I can't help but admire him. He is so damn sexy, too sexy for his own good.

Johnny clears his throat next to me, holding the shot out to me. "It's not nice to stare." He teases me.

I laugh. "I'm a grown woman, and I do what I want." I smirk at him. I take the shot quickly, and stand up. I haven't had many shots luckily, maybe three, so I'm still steady on my feet, and in my right mind. "I think I'll go for a swim too." I walk to the pool side and rid myself of my shirt and shorts. Brian is swimming over to me, and I watch his eyes graze up and down my body.

"Coming in?" He smiles, and I nod my head. I can't help but feel a little self-conscious standing here before him half-naked. The last time I stood before him half-naked I at least had alcohol swimming through my veins, liquid courage. Now I stand before him, fully aware that his eyes are on me, taking me in, and I find myself nervous.

Before I have time to ponder any further, I feel arms wrap around my waist, lifting me into the air. I squeal as I'm thrown through the air, landing in the cool pool water.

"Hey!" I yell, as I emerge, seeing Johnny standing next to the pool, clad in his swim trunks now.

"You looked like you needed to cool down." He laughs and jumps into the water.

--

Later on, we're gathered around the patio set again, sharing stories of our past, when it comes to my turn.

"I'm going to pass." I say quickly, as their eyes settle on me.

"Oh, c'mon." Brooks says, smiling at me. "It doesn't have to be anything crazy, just tell us something about yourself. It doesn't even have to be about your past."

"Fine." I take a brief time to think, as I'm not sure exactly what to tell them. I have worked very hard to build these walls around me, guarding myself, and I'm not ready to tear them down yet. "I'm officially a lawyer." I smile.

"That's great!" Matt is the first to speak up and the group quickly takes turns congratulating me.

I thank them all, hoping that now we can move on to someone else. Johnny quickly lets me know that this is not the case, by asking "Why did you move all the way across the country to study law?"

His question weighs on me. There were many reasons I moved to Boston, 90% of which I do not want them all to know. "I wanted to study law, and Harvard was the best option for me. Plus, my grandmother lives in Boston, I went to live with her."

"I can't believe you attended Harvard." Zach says. "That's really awesome. I'm sure it's not an easy place to get into."

"It's alright." I say, wanting this conversation to end, before we end up digging up more dirt on my past. "I'm going to use the restroom." I say stupidly, and stand up from my chair.

"There's one right off the kitchen." Brian says, as I make my way to the sliding doors. "Take that hallway and it's the first door on the right."

"Thanks." I say, and let myself inside, sliding the door shut behind me.

I make my way through the kitchen and find the bathroom. As I step inside, I flip on the light and close the door behind me. I lean against the counter top for a moment, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I am wearing my bikini still, a towel wrapped around my waist.

I don't know how long I've been standing here, when a knock sounds at the door, making me jump. What the fuck is it with these guys scaring the shit outta me?

"Yes?" I question, opening the door to reveal Brian.

"Hey, I just wanted to check and make sure you were alright." He says.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I force a smile.

"I know Johnny can pry too much sometimes, so I'm sorry for that."

"It's not your fault." I truly smile this time. I watch his eyes drop to my lips and rest there for a few seconds before drawing back up to meet my eyes. What is he thinking? I barely finish this thought, before his lips are on mine. He wraps one arm around my waist, pulling my body to his.

I pull my mouth away from his, after a few seconds. I'm out of breath. What is going on? What is he doing to me?

I feel the towel around my waist slipping down my legs and I look down, as it falls completely to the floor. Brian takes a step back to look at my half-naked body in front of him.

"You are so fucking sexy." He says, his voice low and husky. "You know that right?"

His eyes meet mine, and I find myself swallowing hard. He must notice this, because his eyes drop to my throat. "How I'd love to kiss you there." He says, pointing to my neck.

"Why don't you?" I ask, finding some of my courage. Holy fuck I want this man. I don't even care if it's right here in this bathroom. I don't care about the fact that I've only really known him for a month and still don't truly know him. All I care about right now is his hands on my body, I want to feel his hands on my body, his mouth on my lips, my neck. Just my thoughts of him alone send shivers up and down my spine.

He takes a step closer, and I reach around him to shut the bathroom door. As it clicks shut, his eyes are on mine. I'm sure he's trying to read me, trying to feel this whole situation out.
"I want you to kiss me there." I say, pointedly. I step up to him, my body flush against his. My eyes are pleading with him to kiss me, begging him to put me out of my misery.

My prayers are answered, as I soon feel his lips on mine, his tongue running along my bottom lip, wanting to gain entrance to my mouth. I part my lips and his tongue meets mine. As he's kissing me, his hands reach down to grab my hips, and he lifts me onto the counter top.

I moan into his mouth as his hands trail up my thighs. He stops just short of my bikini bottoms and I groan, pulling him closer to me, as I close as I can get him. I want this man so badly right now it hurts. I run a hand down his chest, letting my nails graze him. I can see the goosebumps following in my wake.

I then reach down between my legs, finding his length through his swim trunks. I grip him, ever so lightly and rub my hand up and down. He instantly grows harder under my touch.

"Fuck." He says through his teeth, pulling his mouth from mine. His hands find my shoulders and he steadies himself. I push him back slightly and remove myself from the counter top. I quickly slide his swim trunks down his legs and fall to my knees in front of him. I take in the sight of him, fully exposed, towering above me. This man is fire, and right now I don't care if I get burned.

I move my mouth to his cock, taking him in my mouth. I feel his legs tense and he takes in a breath. He's pretty large, so I use one hand to grip the end of his shaft as my mouth works along the top, taking him in and drawing him out slowly. He bucks his hips, making me take more of him into my mouth. I gladly open my mouth wider to him.

A string of curses leaves his lips, as he stands before me, his cock growing harder in my mouth. Soon after, he releases into my mouth and I swallow every drop of him on my tongue.

"Holy fucking hell." He lets out a long breath, as I get to my feet before him. "That was so fucking good."

"I'm glad." I smile at him, and lick my lips. I could taste this man a million times, but somehow I know that wouldn't be enough.

"I want to return the favor." He says, his voice deeper again. He steps closer to me and runs a finger along the top of my bikini bottoms. I shiver under his touch.

Before we can move further there's a commotion from down the hall.

"They must've gotten tired of waiting outside for us." He laughs, but I can tell he is slightly upset that he didn't get to taste me as I did him. His hands fall away from me, and he takes a step back.

"That's okay." I smile at him. "I've gotta get going anyway, I have work tomorrow." It's already almost seven in the evening. I've been here most of the day, and I'm going to need time to recuperate after this eventful afternoon.

His face falls. "Oh, alright."

I grab my towel from the floor and again wrap it around my waist. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before letting myself out of the bathroom.

Notes

Just a heads up for those of you that read the prologue, it originally said that Allie was returning after five years, this was too short of a time frame to work with and it has now been edited to eight years. Sorry, I hope this doesn't mess anyone up during reading.

I hope you all enjoy this update! Things are getting steamier. ;) Thank you for reading!

- J