Weeks passed. We were settling into our routine here, I with the farming and Hallie doing whatever she did with her teen friends. They were pretty much given free rein to do whatever they wanted, though Cole was getting very close to being inducted onto the farm. Teenage dreams can't last forever, I guess. As soon as I’d stepped out the door with Hallie that morning, my name was being called. I’d been told the night before that I wasn’t on farming duty today, and presumably I was about to find out why.
“Yo, Marina! Get over here,” Holden called, waving me over.
I shot Hallie a look, “No guns.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she shrugged, sauntering off towards the other kids, no doubt to shoot cans. I watched her face light up as she was accepted into the fold like she’d always been there. She’d looked happy for the first time in forever since we'd arrived here. I knew deep down there must have been a darkness lurking in her still, but I guess I wasn’t the only person pushing things out of my mind. Denial was a strong theme of our existence.
“Marina,” Holden called again, with less patience.
“Coming,” I replied, turning away from my niece. I approached him. “So, what am I doing today?”
“Supply run,” Holden grunted, throwing me a backpack.
“Would it kill you to smile?” I teased, slinging it onto my shoulders.
“Yes,” he grunted, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. We strolled towards the parking lot in the morning sun’s warm rays. Lincoln and Emma were already waiting for us, leaning against one of the vehicles. It dawned on me that I was surrounded by people who were essentially strangers to me, a realisation that made me feel slightly uneasy.
“Don’t worry,” Lincoln chuckled, sensing my discomfort with a lazy grin. “We don’t bite*.”

*Lol, fuck off, Lincoln.

“Hey,” Jimmy appeared, carrying a bundle of tattered blankets. “Will this do?”
“I’m not fussy,” I replied, with a weak smile. He dumped them on the bed unceremoniously.
“Well, that’s lucky, because it’s all shit,” he joked, sitting next to me. “Everything alright?”
He studied me inquisitively, aware that something was wrong but unsure of what.
“Just tonight,” I answered, shrugging my shoulders at him. “It all got a bit out of hand. And that was definitely not how I wanted to Hallie to hear about her sister.”
“I’m sure she’ll come around,” he offered, lamely, sounding about as convinced as I felt.
“Maybe,” I murmured, tightening my arms around my knees. “I just feel kind of lost without her, like I fucked up my one responsibility and now I’m kind of… empty.”
His arm snaked around my shoulders; I tried to ignore that the emptiness was easily filling with thoughts of him. Perhaps, I thought, there were fulfilling things in life other than obligatorily caring for a sulky teen.
“How’s your back?” I asked, exploring the deep blue of his eyes. He pulled his arm back, twisting it around awkwardly to poke at his own back.
“It’s been better,” he smiled, wryly, wincing as he prodded one of his cuts. “Thanks for fixing me up.”
“That’s okay,” I replied, giving him a light chuckle. “Thank you for defending my honour.”
“Any time,” he grinned, “it’s worth defending.”
We sat for a moment, in an awkward silence. It was a silence that was desperate to be filled, but neither of us knew what to say or do. Eventually Jimmy clapped his hands together.
“Okay, you need anything else?” he asked, jumping up.
“I’m good, but thanks,” I answered, as he swung his arms about, trying to fill the odd space between us.
He nodded, “Okay, then.”
I watched him as he hung around, seemingly hesitant to leave. Eventually he gave me a last smile before filing out of the room. When he’d gone, I turned the lights off and slipped my jeans down. I fumbled with my bra strap, managing to slide it out from my tank and flick it off to the side. The sofa bed wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn't really comfortable either. It was still a luxury compared to a cold, hard floor though, so I wrapped myself up in a blanket and tried to drift off to sleep. Eventually, the noises of life around the house faded as everyone headed, one by one, to bed, until I was left in the still, suffocating darkness. Of course though, there was no way I was sleeping any time soon, so I tiptoed out to the kitchen.

There was a pack of cigarettes abandoned on the counter. I slid one out and inspected it. It had been fucking years since I’d had one. I couldn’t quite remember why they had been so attractive, but I’d spent a good chunk of my youth devoted to them. They’d always been my friend in times of need. I tried to remember how it felt, the rush of relief when you took that first drag of nicotine. Curiosity got the better of me. Grabbing the lighter, I sneaked out of the back doors to go on my adventure, hiding away in the corner like a teenager to avoid being caught. Settling myself on a lounger, I brought the cigarette to my lips and flicked at the lighter, watching the sparks fly out against the backdrop of the night. The end caught and I pulled deeply, building the ember up. I took the smoke down into my lungs, the harsh taste making me instantly cough it back out in a spluttering fit.
“Why did I ever like these?” I asked myself out loud, for some reason experimenting with another pull on the cigarette anyway. It was still disgusting, but I had nothing better to do with my time so I pushed through until half the cigarette was gone.
“Can’t sleep?” a lisped voice cut through the night. I jumped out of my skin, the guilty teenager in me launching the cigarette away. He laughed softly to himself as I smoothed my hair down. Instinctively, I pulled my knees up, self-consciously trying to hide my scarred thighs. For fuck’s sake, of course he turns up when I’m half clothed. He wasn’t much more covered up than I was though, in just loose joggers with his pale, tattooed chest left bare.
I fumbled with my words as my eyes drifted over his body’s artwork, “I was just…”
“Smoking?” he offered, looking amused.
I sighed, “Well, yes, but not properly.”
“Right,” he placated me, nodding knowingly. I’m not sure why I was trying to justify my brief fling with nicotine, especially not to another smoker.
“So, what were you doing here?” I asked again, almost accusingly as I projected my guilty teenager onto him. He shook the pack of cigarettes at me.
“Same as you,” he grinned, raising an eyebrow. “Didn’t know it was one of your vices.”
“It’s not,” I admitted, sheepishly. “It was once, but now? I don’t know, I couldn’t sleep and they were there on the counter and…” I trailed off with a shrug. Truthfully, I didn’t really know why I’d tried one. Jimmy seemed to understand though, nodding as he lit one. He sat next to me on the lounger, offering it to me, but I declined. I’d decided pretty quickly not to re-explore my old love affair with them.
“I’m not very good at sleeping,” I began, keen to change the subject. “It just kind of eludes me, and when it doesn’t, it isn’t usually restful.”
“I get that,” he replied, knowingly, and he puffed out a cloud of smoke. “Zach could sleep through a bomb going off. The second he closes his eyes, he’s out for the count. It’s a talent.”
“One I wouldn’t mind having,” I joked, relaxing a little. I uncurled my arms from where they’d been tightly wrapped around my knees, letting my feet fall back to the floor. It instantly made me feel uptight as I caught Jimmy glancing over at the emotionally charged etchings on my thighs. He looked away as he flicked his cigarette into the empty pool, focusing on the softly illuminated shoreline and reached a hand over. My breath hitched in my throat, my whole body becoming rigid as he trailed a fingertip over my mottled skin. He delicately traced patterns as he continued to focus on the waves in the distance.
“Jimmy?” I uttered softly, almost dizzy at his touch. It felt like time had stopped around us, and all that existed was Jimmy and his touch on my skin. He turned slowly, his icy blues looking deeply into my own, exploring every inch of my bare soul.
“Marina,” he breathed, hesitating for a moment. “Do you want to make something of this?”
I bit my lip, “This?”
“Us,” he answered, quietly. “Or what we could be.”
“You don’t want this, Jimmy,” I began, but he cut me off with an exasperated groan.
“Stop telling me what I want,” he sighed, “don’t you see, Marina? I want you.”
His words stopped me short. To actually hear it out loud was… earth shattering, in the best way possible.
“I want you,” he repeated, more softly this time. For a few seconds, my mind felt like it was exploding. My heart fluttered, my nerves were electrified and my blood was pumping around my body with a fiery purpose.
“I… want you too,” I replied, breathlessly.

I’d barely finished the words when he leaned forwards and pressed his lips to mine. Elation flooded throughout me, pushing me into the kiss. My hands moved to his body, one resting on his shoulder, the other entwining into his hair, as he reached around my waist. He pulled my body closer to his roughly, making me gasp softly as he did so. I let the feeling consume me, and my hand wandered down his chest. My exploration only encouraged him, and our kiss became more passionate, more urgent. He suddenly lifted me, swinging into his lap. I wrapped my legs around him as he stood, all my insecurity lost in the heat of the moment. He carried me into the kitchen, where he set me down. Still wrapped up in each other, we felt our way along as we stumbled down through the kitchen and down the corridor, both of us past fighting the urge anymore. As we turned the corner, we knocked an empty bottle which had been balancing precariously at the edge of an end table. It smashed as it hit the floor, the sound ringing out into the silence of the house.
“Fuck,” Jimmy murmured, breaking away from me to inspect the damage.
“Leave it,” I begged, pulling him back into me. He didn’t need much persuasion, his mouth quickly finding my own again. It didn’t take long for us to reach the sofa bed, where Jimmy seamlessly laid us down together without interrupting our flow. His hand wandered to the bottom of my tank, where it hovered for a moment, as though asking for permission. I kissed him harder by way of reply and he slid his hand under the material. His fingers trailed across my skin, making me shiver, drifting higher and higher-
“Marina?” Brian’s voice called from beyond the doorway. We froze, trying to cover our ragged breathing.
“Fuck,” Jimmy whispered, his face a picture of frustration. “Answer him, or he might come in.”
“Hello?” I called out, trying to slow my panting, which was difficult with Jimmy still laying between my thighs.
“Is everything alright? I thought I heard a smash,” he called back softly.
I covered my face with my arm in exasperation, “Everything’s fine. I just knocked something over in the dark.”
“Oh right,” he replied, “sorry for disturbing you.”
We heard his footsteps trail away down the corridor and both let out a sigh of amused relief. I giggled softly as Jimmy smirked at me, and pulled him back down into me, scattering my inhibitions into the night without a second of thought for them. His tongue danced at my lip, threatening to take the intensity of our rendezvous up a level. I let him in eagerly, my hands roaming south until my fingertips lingered at the waist line of his pants.
“Marina?” Brian called out again.
Jimmy pulled away, putting his palm to his face, “Jesus Christ, you’ve gotta be shitting me.”
“What?” I answered, a hint of irritation gracing my voice. Brian hesitated, stuttering a little as he tried to get his words out.
“Is… Is Jimmy in there?” he asked, almost apologetically. Jimmy and I looked at each other with wide eyes. Caught in the act.
“Are you in here?” I mouthed at Jimmy, watching him calculate his answer.
“If he’s not with you, then he’s missing,” Brian continued, before pausing, obviously straining his ears for signs of his best friend. Despite normally having trouble with being quiet, Jimmy took it like a trooper, managing to remain silent as he weighed up his options.
Brian let out a frustrated sigh, and then, as though he was having to exercise extreme patience, asked, “Jimmy, are you in there?”
Jimmy rolled his eyes before reluctantly answering, “Yeah, bro.”
“Right, well, maybe you could let me know before you sneak off to go canoodling next time?” Brian complained.
I smirked and mouthed, “He’s tired of your shit.”
Jimmy flashed a devilish grin at me before answering Brian, “Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, Haner.”

We heard Brian slouch off, his heavy feet ascending the staircase slowly. Jimmy reluctantly pushed himself away from me, and we both sat up.
“Canoodling?” Jimmy groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “What does he think we are, teenagers?”
I giggled, blushing a little. I sort of had been behaving like a teenager tonight, but I thought I’d keep that to myself.
“Trust Brian to ruin the mood. Worse than Mother Shadows,” Jimmy sighed, giving me an awkward smile. I returned it, feeling rather self-conscious all of a sudden. My confidence had deserted me along with Jimmy’s physical attention and had left me feeling naked. He looked at me, smirking slightly at my flushed cheeks as he reached over to sweep his thumb down my jawline.
“You’re pretty,” he slurred, imitating my drunken confession from earlier to break the atmosphere. I let out a burst of embarrassed laughter, clapping my hand to my mouth to stifle the noise. I continued snickering into my hand softly, my cheeks now burning.
“Shut up, you ass,” I teased, giving him a playful shove. He laughed and leaned his forehead against mine for a moment, before planting a light kiss on my lips.
“Brian's going to eat me alive if I don't appear soon, sorry," he mumbled, apologetically.
"It's fine," I shrugged, trying to will the colour to drain itself from my cheeks.
"Until next time,” he whispered, standing up. He tiptoed over to the doorway, pausing to look back. I wiggled my fingers at him, a contented smile painted onto my face. He disappeared and I laid back, melting into the thin, hard mattress beneath me with happiness.

Notes

Hey, check it out! Almost smut! But you guys know how I love my interruptions. Sorry!