The day’s work was done at last. I returned the rake I’d been using and stretched myself out. My neck and shoulders were aching something fierce but I’d managed to get a reasonable amount done. I understood why they needed all the help they could get. Growing food for 23 people was no easy feat and even just one extra pair of hands lessened the work load immensely.
“Good job today,” Jesse remarked as we filed back to our house. “There’ll be hot water in your room for you to wash when we get back.”
“Wow, this place is all over the luxuries,” I laughed lightly, as we entered the building.
“It hasn’t always been this way,” he admitted. “In the beginning we had nothing. We’ve built this community from scratch.”
“It’s impressive,” I marvelled, before lowering my voice, “and fucking amazing. I can’t remember the last time I washed with hot water.”
“I'm judging you,” he smirked, leading the way as we ascended the stairs.
“Hey, Jesse? Can I ask you something personal?” I questioned, tilting my head at him.
He raised an eyebrow, “Yes?”
“I was just wondering, you have a son here,” I began, chewing my lip for courage, “but I don’t think I’ve met his mother.”
He stopped halfway up the stairs, his body stiffened at my probing.
“She was here with us,” he revealed slowly, “but she never came back from a supply run.”
It wasn’t difficult to read between the lines he’d given me.
“I’m so sorry,” I replied, placing a hand on his arm.
“Like you said, it’s in the past,” he shrugged, carrying on up the stairs. I followed, parting ways with him at my door with a wave. I hoped I hadn’t upset him, but he didn’t seem in bad spirits as he returned the gesture.

“You’re back,” Hallie smiled from the bed as I slipped into the room.
“I am,” I replied, making a beeline for the steaming bowl of water.
“Fran left that for you,” Hallie informed me, turning away as I made to undress.
“Fran?” I asked, slipping my top off. The water felt divine as I lifted it to my face, washing the grime of the day from my skin. Hallie laid back, stretching herself out across the bed.
“You know the one,” she insisted, “really curly hair, freckles.”
“Gotcha,” I nodded as it came to me, “I know who you mean now. So what did you do today?”
I wrung the cloth out and swept it over the back of my neck and shoulders as Hallie animatedly told me about how she’d met the other kids here and spent time with them.
“They showed me how to tie knots,” she effused as I hunched back over the bowl, “and Aden showed me how to hold a gun.”
“Wait, what?” I shot upright. “A gun?!”
Hallie sat up and shrugged at me, “I have to learn some time.”
“You’re nine,” I argued, “you do not need to know how to hold a gun.”
“I’m ten,” Hallie shot back, squinting her eyes at me. “My birthday was in November, and that’s definitely passed.”
“Moot point,” I scoffed, “you’re too young, no more guns.”
Hallie’s mouth dropped open in resentment, “What if I have to fight a biter?”
“Don’t call them that, they’re still people,” I chided, but she was having none of it.
“They’re biters, Cole says we shouldn’t humanise them,” she informed me, patronisingly. “That’s how people get hurt.”
“Jesus,” I muttered, pulling my top back over my head. “You do not need to learn how to fight.”
“Yes, I do,” she insisted, “what if I lose you one day and I have to look after myself?”
“You’re not losing me,” I sighed, sitting next to her.
She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, “I lost Esther though. And mom. You can’t promise that I won’t lose you too.”
I fell quiet as I twirled a lock of my hair between my fingers. She wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t make any promises. Perhaps she should be prepared, but at the same time, there was a gnawing guilt inside that made me want to preserve her childhood for as long as possible. I wasn’t ready to let that go yet.

“Wow, am I interrupting something here?” Johnny asked from the doorway, raising an eyebrow. Jimmy and I sprung apart and smoothed ourselves down. Johnny let out a hearty laugh.
“I saw you,” he smirked, taking a swing of his beer before rounding on me with cold eyes. “So, Marina, what’d you do to the kid?”
I stiffened, his words strangling me.
“Fuck off, Johnny,” Jimmy retaliated, “don’t go there.”
“Fuck you, Jimmy, just because your little girlfriend gets you hard,” he snarled, narrowing his eyes at me. I cringed, cowering away from his words. Jimmy clenched his fists as Johnny stared me down, daring me to react.
“I’m still waiting for your answer,” he challenged, ignoring Jimmy’s building anger.
“I don’t have one for you,” I mumbled, looking away.
“I’m warning you, Johnny,” Jimmy hissed through gritted teeth.
“I think we deserve to know if we’re living with a child killer, Jimmy,” he retorted.
That was enough for Jimmy to launch himself across the kitchen, fists first. I let out a cry as his punch landed square into Johnny’s jaw, sending them both crashing to the floor. Johnny’s bottle shattered as it landed, sending glass skittering across the tiles.
“You’re a piece of shit,” Jimmy yelled, landing another punch. Johnny shoved him away with a grunt. Jimmy lost his balance, falling onto the littered shards with a yelp, but pushed himself straight back up to face his opponent.
“We don’t all think with our dicks,” Johnny growled as they collided again, this time the shorter one getting the upper hand. “You saw the kid crying, that cunt over there obviously did something to her sister.”
The level of noise had attracted attention, and Matt and Zach came running in to break up the brawl.
“Jesus Christ, you two,” Matt grunted, as he ripped a bleeding Jimmy away.
Zach dived on Johnny before he could lurch back into it again.
“We’re supposed to be watching out for each other, not at each other’s throats,” Matt scolded them as they continued to stare each other down with fiery looks.
“Tell Jimmy that,” Johnny taunted, turning his gaze on me. “He wants to keep that bitch around.”
Jimmy exploded into a noise of fury but was no match for Matt’s strong grip.
“Fucking cool it, you two,” Zach warned, giving Johnny a shake.
“Get off me,” Johnny hissed, shaking Zach off. He shot one last glare at Jimmy, who was still shaking with rage, and stormed out. Jimmy shook Matt off and watched Johnny leave.
“Asshole!” He yelled after him, earning himself a stern look from Matt.

“What the fuck happened?” Matt asked, looking to Jimmy for an explanation.
“Johnny’s a fucking twat like usual, that’s what happened,” Jimmy raged, now pacing the kitchen agitatedly.
“Let’s go for a smoke, bro,” Matt replied, grabbing Jimmy by the shirt and dragging him over to the still open French doors. Jimmy, still breathing heavily, made no resistance as he was hauled outside.
Zach hovered for a moment before asking, “are you ok, Marina?”
“I’m fine,” I replied, smiling weakly. We both knew I wasn’t really, but he decided not to press the issue which I was thankful for. He slipped out of the kitchen, leaving me alone in the suffocating atmosphere. Despite the hostilities being over and the offending parties being removed, I could feel the fury lingering, misting the air. Johnny’s words were hanging around, needling into me as I sat alone at the table. In an attempt to push them out of my mind, I set to clearing the broken glass that was scattered across the kitchen floor. After several minutes, Matt appeared with a calmer Jimmy. He gave me a nod before disappearing down the corridor, leaving just myself and Jimmy in the silence. Jimmy stood still, apparently lost for words, as he watched me sweep up the last pieces. I dropped them into a plastic bag and slung it onto the counter, causing him to flinch as I did so.
“Turn around,” I whispered, finally looking at him. He did so without question, and I delicately slid his tee up to inspect his back. He shivered slightly at my touch.
“You’re hurt,” I frowned, my fingers grazing gently over the cuts the glass had left. “Let me clean you up.”
He didn’t argue, just turned to face me, searching my soul inquisitively with his piercing blue sapphires. Fuck, his eyes were gorgeous. I dipped down and dug into the cupboard that contained the first aid supplies, grabbing what I needed.
“Come sit,” I ordered, gesturing to a chair. He did as he was told, pulling his t-shirt off also, still silent. It was almost unnerving; Jimmy was normally so bubbly, but I figured he had his reasons. I soaked some cotton wool in antiseptic and gently pushed him forwards. He leaned with my touch, and I began to dab at his wounds. They weren’t anything serious, but I felt guilty that they’d essentially come about because of me, so I continued sweeping the cotton wool over them, feeling Jimmy tense occasionally at the sting.
“There,” I murmured, cleaning up the last one and clearing my throat. Jimmy stood slowly, unnaturally so compared with his usual vim. I swept around him until I was in front of him.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, his quietness concerning me.
“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. He started slowly, but his pace picked up quickly until he was almost tripping over his words. “I shouldn’t have lost it, Johnny just fucking rubbed me up the wrong way. He doesn't know when to shut up and I couldn’t stand the way he was talking about you-”
“Hey,” I stopped him, “it’s fine, honestly.”
“It’s not, Marina,” he breathed, placing his hands on my arms. “You aren't any of those things he said.”
I gave him a weak smile, “Jimmy, I can take the truth. It’s really not-”
“Don’t fucking say that,” it was his turn to interrupt as he gave me a gentle shake. “It’s not the truth, it’s bullshit. Every single thing was bullshit.”
I held his gaze, unsure of what to say. He bit his lip, and then roughly pulled me into him. His impulsiveness caught me off guard, and a small gasp fell from my lips as I almost fell against him. My heart raced wildly as he held me against his bare chest, sending the butterflies he'd been carefully nurturing into a frenzy. I was aware, as I was sure he was, that my breathing had sped up. I rested against his chest and listened to his heartbeat, which matched my own heart’s excited fluttering. I picked my head up, looking up into his intensely icy eyes.
“Thank you,” I whispered, as he smiled.

“I need a fucking coffee and cigarette,” he announced, and I took my cue to step away from him. I leaned back against the kitchen table, and watched him busy himself around the kitchen, gathering his personal survival kit up. Every now and then he’d glance over at me, setting the flush in my cheeks off again. He’d just stepped out the door, pulling it closed behind him, when footsteps approached from the corridor. I shifted my gaze to the kitchen doorway, where Brian appeared. I stood up straight immediately, the desperation evident in my eyes before I’d even opened my mouth.
“Is she okay?” I uttered, pleading with him to tell me something I wanted to hear.
His mouth twisted a little, “She’s upset.”
“Oh god,” I breathed, “I just want her to be okay. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I know,” he replied, grimly. “Listen, I don’t know how to tell you this but…”
I looked at him expectantly, “What?”
“She doesn’t want you in the room,” he finished, awkwardly. I blinked a few times as I thought it over. I could cope with that, I was half expecting her to ask me to leave the house, so just the room seemed like a fair compromise.
“I suppose she doesn’t want to see me?” I tried, though I already knew the answer.
He shook his head, “Sorry.”
“Okay,” I paused, heaving a sigh. I looked up at Brian, pleadingly. “Will you look after her while she won’t let me?”
“Of course,” he returned with a small smile.
“Thank you, Brian,” I called, as he vanished again, presumably to return to Hallie.

“What did he want?” Jimmy asked, stepping in shortly after Brian left. I bit my lip.
“You got somewhere else I can sleep?”
“Oh,” he murmured, pursing his lips sympathetically. “Of course, if you’re okay downstairs?”
“Anywhere is good,” I replied, gratefully, letting him lead the way. Though I’d slept through half of it, I was seriously done with today. I followed Jimmy into a room next to the lounge that I’d not been in before. Jimmy pushed open the door, and snorted at my wide eyes.
“A second lounge?” I blurted out, in disbelief, a small smile pulling at my lips.
“Oh yeah, Brian doesn’t do things by halves,” Jimmy quipped, finally letting his grin creep back onto his face. I was glad to see it. “This thing actually pulls out somehow.”
He gestured lazily to the couch, and we both tilted our heads as we examined it from a distance.
“I mean, I’ll just sleep on it in chair mode,” I shrugged, not fancying the effort involved with attempting to open it out.
“Chair mode?” he spluttered with laughter. “Right, yeah, okay. Or we can figure it out. We’re intelligent enough.”
“Are we?” I asked, unconvinced.
“Sure we are,” he replied, though he was clearly doubting it now. He approached the couch with determination. “Help me out here.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked, bewildered.
“Just grab something, pull, see if it comes apart?” he suggested. I raised an eyebrow but I joined him anyway.

One hour of swearing, sweating and some interesting, though I suspected not entirely necessary, bending on Jimmy’s part not dissimilar to a game of Twister, we had converted the couch into something that mostly resembled a bed.
“Yeah! Teamwork!” Jimmy cheered, high fiving me. Despite the events of the evening, he still managed to raise a shy smile upon my lips. With a grin, he disappeared to find some bedding to adorn the sofa bed with. I sat on the edge of it while I waited for him to return, mulling over the past few hours. I pulled my knees up to my chest, suddenly feeling incredibly lonely. I thought of Hallie who was directly above me and sighed heavily. I only hoped that she could forgive me some day.

Notes

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Pass the popcorn!!!