Through All the Dust

Everyone had come out from the woodwork to celebrate on full year of Owen. It was an intentional afterthought that the day also marked my twenty-sixth year on the planet. The Avenged boys had returned home from their tour with just twenty-four hours to spare before child birthday party fun.
Brian was leaned up against the fence lining Lauren's backyard, a beer in his hand and a Matt by his side. I watched fondly as he tilted his head back with a laugh, his entire face lighting up with glee. I loved to know he had such strong relationships that he could spend every waking hour with them and still find their jokes funny. It gave me significant hope for our marriage. Especially since we'd be together, without the disruption of respective tours, for the foreseeable future. A first in the Peteron/Haner, turned strictly Haner, relationship.
"Glad to have him home?" Lauren asked knowingly, a permanent smile etched into her face.
I nodded, "Always."
"It's nice," she agreed. "Things can go back to normal now."
"As normal as it gets with our crowd," I noted with a grin.
She giggled, "Touche."
"Speaking of our crowd," I eased, stabbing my fork into the slice of cake in my hands. "Have you confessed your undying love to our dear hunky friend yet?"
Lauren twisted her face into a unique blend of a pout and a scowl, "I wouldn't call it undying love."
"Sure it is," I shrugged, my mouth full of the world's most delicious chocolate cake.
"I haven't said anything," she sighed. "Everything's been...normal."
I swallowed down the food, "Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know," she replied simply.
Another fork full of cake, "You should."
"We need to get you a hobby," Lauren giggled. "You've been stagnant for too long. Should you go on another tour?"
I laughed, pointing my fork at her, "Message received. New topic."
"Can you believe Owen is one?" Lauren asked, sinking down into the chair I'd been leaning on. "Where does the time go?"
"Away," I sighed.
"Soon he'll be talking and walking and then he'll be even louder and with my luck he'll probably end up just like Jimmy and cause a whole world of trouble," Lauren set off in an unusual tangent. "Oh god, and I'll be a single mother trying to reign him in and not let him run rampant!"
I laughed, "Lauren. Why don't you just focus on the now; he's fucking one, man. I don't think you need to worry about him getting into too much trouble yet."
"Right," she nodded slowly. "I just feel like it's going by too fast."
"It always goes by too fast," I offered shallowly. "So...You should learn to make the most of it. Perhaps by telling Matt you love him."
Lauren's mother appeared in the doorway, calling for her daughter to come and say goodbye to the guests that had begun filing out.
"Saved by the bell," Lauren smiled, disappearing into the house.
Feeling suddenly abandoned, my cake and I walked across the yard and planted ourselves between Brian and Matt. Brian gave me a quick smile, reaching out to run his finger through the swirls of icing atop my cake; but other than that, he and Matt were wrapped up in finishing their thought. I didn't mind. I found myself marveling at the sound of their voices, sinking deep into a familiar comfort that I'd missed over the last three months.
Matt laughed heartily, nodding his head along to Brian's latest quip. And then, finally, he turned his attention to me.
"Enjoyed your birthday at a kid's party?" he asked me with a grin.
I nodded, "Free cake. Can't go wrong with that."
"Brody still going to Papa Gates' tonight?" Matt inquired to the group.
Brian and I nodded.
It had been Brian's idea to ship off our fresh baby. He wanted everyone together, celebrating their homecoming and my day of birth; apparently everyone just didn't include the two youngest men. Owen and Brody had been effectively banished from the party, which I didn't entirely mind. A big part of me was anxious as fuck to let Brody out of my sights for too long. We hadn't spent a day apart since he was born three months prior and I wasn't sure he was old enough to go for his first sleepover. But the Haners had insisted, and Brian had bribed me with a copious amount of alcohol. With Owen headed to the Sullivans for the night, I figured if Lauren could do it; I could do it.
"Sweet," Matt smiled. "We haven't all partied together in way too fuckin' long."
Brian nodded, giving me a pointed look, "My sentiments exactly, my man."
"This is a party," I informed them. "It's just docile and has balloons and shit."
"Matt?" Lauren's voice rang out across the green grass.
I loved the way his eyes lit up at the sound of his girl. If only she knew she was his girl.
"Could you come help me for a quick second?"
He waved sheepishly at us before ducking out. Brian took a single side-step closer to me, snatching another fingertip of icing. This time, I swatted at his hand.
"Go get your own piece," I pouted.
"But I just want the icing," he grinned. "And you have some to spare."
I groaned, "But now the whole balance of cake to icing ratio is fucked up. You fucked up my cake."
"We'll get you more," he assured me with a laugh.
A silence fell between us as I actively guarded my remaining few bites of cake, my fork at the ready. I'd stab those tattooed hands if I had to. He'd been warned.
"I can't believe it's already been a year," Brian thought aloud. "It's been one year since you and Matt made beds in our bathroom."
I grimaced at the very mention of it. I'd spent the last year trying my best to forget about that whole event. Every time I looked at the bathtub, I swear my spine would start to ache.
Brian laughed loudly to himself, shaking your head, "I never get tired of your ridiculous shit."
"Good," I smirked. "Because you have an eternity left to go."
Brian smiled, leaning in to kiss me gently--I was still guarding my cake, unconvinced that he was entirely unmotivated by its allure.
"Not long enough," he muttered quietly as he pulled himself back.
I smiled, unable to hide his effect on me, "Well aren't you sweet."
Without warning, my guard lazy from distraction, he reached out and snatched the last bit of cake I had left. My jaw hit the ground as he plopped it into his mouth, giving me the smuggest look I'd ever seen in my life. I was fucking appalled.
"Divorce," I demanded.
He laughed, "Worth it. This cake is fucking awesome."
I pouted, scowling relentlessly in his direction.
"Come on, Grumpy," he snickered. "Let's go get you more."
I reluctantly let Brian link his arm with mine as we strolled through the yard and into the house. It was surprisingly empty considering how many people had been packed into Lauren's small house only a few short minutes ago. I was relieved to see the crowd dispersing.
Brian and I slipped into the kitchen, where Zach was currently entertaining his newest girlfriend. She was nice enough, if not a bit shy. She reminded me a little of Lauren at times; she never cussed and she'd never raised her voice near me. The way Zach looked at her gave me a bit of a push in terms of bonding with her--I didn't want any repeats of past relationships. I didn't suspect his girlfriend would have me falling in love with her the way Lauren had, but I was trying my best to be cordial.
"Crazy turn out for a one year old, huh?" Zach smiled.
Brian laughed, "Yeah. Kid's got a lot of love."
"No shit," Zach nodded, downing the last of the beer in his bottle.
I slipped between him and the counter, where the cake was currently being housed. My mouth began to water at the sight of it. I slipped the knife between the corner piece and carried the little piece of heaven carefully to a paper plate. With a satisfied thud, my indulgence had been refilled. No thanks to Brian.
"Isn't that your third piece?" Zach asked, an eyebrow cocked.
I stopped myself just as the fork reached my mouth. I looked like an animal caught with a mouse.
"Leave her alone," Katie giggled. "It's her birthday, isn't it?"
Zach gasped, "Oh shit! I forgot today was your birthday!"
"Please don't say it," I grunted, finishing my initial movement and sliding the cake off the fork with my teeth.
It was so good.
"Happy fucking birthday, B!" Zach beamed, pulling me into a one armed hug.
Brian was snickering behind him, endlessly enjoying the discomfort my birthday sprawled across my face.
"I said not to say it," I whined, pulling away and diving back into the cake.
He smirked, "You're so fucking weird. Makes sense that you ended up with Gates."
"Not getting into this shit again," I declared with a laugh, fleeing from the kitchen before we could embark on the age old debate of who I'd met first.
After five years together, Zach was still convinced I'd met Brian first--and not Jimmy. No amounts of arguments or rebuttals could change his mind. He was sure that I'd only ended up with Brian because I'd met him first. Not because Brian had changed my life or because I'd fizzled Brian's insanity, but simply because of timing.
I guess it did have a bit to do with timing, just not the way Zach was convinced.
With cake in hand, I sauntered over to the sofa and plopped myself down next to Joe Sullivan. Brody was cuddled up in his arms, snoozing away.
"You make cute kids," Joe informed me.
I nodded, "That one's all Brian."
"I can see a bit of Blair in him," Joe smiled.
"So I hear you're stealing Owen for the night?"
He nodded happily, "I am! It's been way too long since we'd had him for a sleepover."
"Sorry I stole him for a while," I half-laughed.
"Don't be sorry," Joe smiled. "I think it's important that Lauren has someone like you in her life. Someone worth moving across the country for. She's a good friend; a good mother. Jim would have done the same thing."
I smiled back, "Yeah...I'm missing him today."
"Me too," Joe assured me.
Lauren and Matt rounded the corner, completely unaware of the world around them as they chuckled among themselves. As they disappeared into the kitchen, I hoped Lauren would be smart enough to know she needed to guard the rest of the cake. I should have eaten breakfast.
"What's going on there?" Joe asked with a grin, gesturing behind Matt and Lauren with his chin.
I shrugged.
I wasn't sure how much Joe needed to know...How much he'd want to know. I sure as shit wasn't going to be the one to rat Lauren out to the in-laws. Especially since there wasn't technically anything to rat her out for yet.
"Blair," he pressed.
"I don't know!" I lied happily. "They're good friends."
Joe didn't seem convinced, "I don't dote after my friends like that."
"Me neither," I laughed. "Except Jimmy. I definitely doted after Jimmy like that."
"Yes you did," Jim smiled. "And he did for you, too."
I nodded, "Yes, he did."
"Well," Joe sighed, glancing down at a sleeping Brody. "I think Matt would be a good partner for Lauren. I think Jimmy would have been pretty happy about that."
"You think so?" I asked, trying to hide my 'I know!' face.
Joe half-laughed, "Of course! Lauren has a right to happiness. Jimmy wouldn't have wanted to stand in the way."
"I couldn't agree more," I smiled. "But...Like I said, I don't know if anything's going on there."
He shrugged, "Doesn't really matter. Lauren's a good girl. She'll make the right choice."
Hearing the words 'good girl' used to describe an adult woman made me feel a little sick. But Joe was so innocent that I let it pass by without drawing much attention to it. We talked about Brody for a while, and subsequently about Owen.
"Where is Owen?" I laughed, glancing around the mostly empty room.
"With Barb," Joe smiled. "She's completely obsessed with him."
I grinned, "Me too. Can't get enough of his crystal blues."
"They're oddly familiar, huh?" Joe smirked. "It isn't just me that thinks so?"
"No, no!" I laughed sharply. "We're all in agreement. Owen is practically Jimmy incarnate."
Joe smiled fondly, "I just hope he gets Lauren's temperament."
"Fuck," I groaned. "Me too."
After another piece and a half of cake, the rest of the party cleared out. Brian Senior had taken Brody when he'd left and the Sullivans had done the same with Owen. Lauren and I had stood around, pouting to ourselves and each other about our wayward babies. The guys didn't seem to even notice the absence. They got straight into the liquor and high-tailed it outside. The summer sun was still high in the sky and the day was perfect.
Before we could get into the throes of adult time, Lauren and I took it upon ourselves to start the cleaning process. We started inside and slowly made our way outdoors, talking about the day and all of the gifts Owen had received. Lauren wasn't sure she could fit them all inside Owen's little room.
"The house two doors down just went up for sale," I grinned up at her from behind a table covered in half-eaten food. "Just sayin'."
"Yeah, because I can afford to move right now," she quipped.
I shrugged, "You should at least look at it."
She met my gaze, letting herself fall into my amusement, "Could you imagine living two doors down from each other?"
"Yes," I laughed. "And it sounds fucking awesome."
She smiled, "Maybe it is worth at least looking at..."
"That's my girl," I grinned, tossing a whole pile of paper plates into the bag in Lauren's hands.
"Hey! Women!" Johnny called from the group spread out across the lawn. "Come down here!"
Lauren planted a hand on her hip, "We're busy, Johnny!"
"Clean later!" he called back.
"Fuck off, Johnny!" she giggled loudly, despite her best attempt to sound macho.
The guys went off with laughter; it was always a good time to hear Lauren curse. I snickered under my breath, admiring the strength of my best friend. Not because she'd told our friend to fuck off, or because she'd rather clean than party, but because Owen's birthday had come and almost gone and she hadn't had a single second of faltering. She was steadfast; secure in her life. While she'd mentioned Jimmy a couple of times, it had been with fondness--not with longing. I was in complete and total awe of her.
Brian and Matt appeared on the sprawling deck, hopping into work mode to help us finish the job quicker.
"Thank you," Lauren said to them both. "You two are the best."
"Hey!" Zach whined from a distance. "We heard that!"
Lauren laughed, "Good!"
"We're happy to help, Lo," Matt assured her with those dimpled cheeks.
It only took a few minutes and then the house was relatively cleared of destruction. Lauren was far more at ease knowing she wouldn't have to step around partially eaten cake all night long. We looked around, marveling at the peace that had followed the chaos.
"Thank you for your help today," Lauren said to me as Brian and Matt disappeared inside to fetch drinks.
I waved her off, "You know I'm down for whatever."
"I know," she nodded once. "But I'm grateful. Sometimes I think it's important to say that more often. I appreciate your friendship, B. And I love you."
"You're weird today," I smirked, nudging her gently with my hip. "But I love you too. You know who else loves you?"
She laughed, stopping my thought.
Brian and Matt stepped back out into the late afternoon air. My husband passed me a beer like the smart man he was.
"Having a good birthday?" Brian asked me with a smile.
I nodded, "It's going to be a good year."
He kissed my cheek and I swooned over the way I melted. I hoped that feeling never went away.
As Matt passed Lauren a drink and she smiled up at him, he instinctively leaned down to plant a sweet kiss on her cheek. It wasn't foreign for them; they were always finding excuses to have little moments of intimacy. Lauren's gaze met mine for a split second and I silently screamed to urge her to do something. What better time than the present?
Lauren set her drink down onto the table and spun around, grabbing Matt's face with both hands. He looked startled at first but quickly relaxed as his lips met Lauren's. Brian nearly choked on his beer from the shock--but I'd seen it coming a mile away. I sank into my smug psychic premonition with glee.
"Best birthday ever," I grinned up at Brian.
He grinned, pulling me under his arm as we melded into a new life. Everything was changing and, for the first time in my life, I was genuinely excited to see where we'd end up.
I may have gotten a little lost along the way, but I was finally secure in my own footholds. With Brian by my side and Brody spoiled with grandparent love, I was finally feeling at peace.
No reservations, no hang ups, no guilt.
Beneath the California summer sun, I was completely at peace.

Notes

That's it, folks.

Blair will be back at some point. But let's be real; juggling three stories at once is out of my strategy level.

So, despite the wrongly numbered chapters, I hope you've enjoyed the second installation of Blair's journey.

xx