Almost Easy

Brian picked me up just as the sun was beginning to set. He looked perfect in his favorite pair of ripped jeans and a plain black tee. Hell, he always looked perfect. I tried not to let it intimidate me; I was by no means looking my best.
Dark circles had accumulated beneath my saddened eyes. Despite my best efforts, I still hadn’t been able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time. It was really starting to show on my face. I’d been losing weight continuously—this also was not lost on me. I’d simply just not had an appetite since the night Ty died.
“Look at you,” Brian grinned when he saw me.
I shifted uncomfortably, “I know, I’m looking a little worse for wear…”
“No,” he laughed, giving me another once over, “You look beautiful.”
I dismissed the compliment, completely unable to hear it.
“Jimmy’s going to meet us downtown,” Brian told me as we walked down the hall. “He’s very excited that you’re coming out. And I mean very excited.”
I tried to smile, “I figure it’s time.”
Brian looked to me with discomfort. He still didn’t know what to say.
“Are we catching a cab?” I asked as we exited the building.
He shook his head, “Nah, I figured I’d drive tonight.”
I furrowed my brows, “How will we get home?”
“I will drive,” he laughed. “What do you mean?”
“Oh,” I was embarrassed. “I assumed you’d be drinking.”
“I’m just along for the ride,” he shrugged. “Figured I’d drink water…you know, just in case.”
“In case of what?” I asked seriously.
He closed one eye in concentration, obviously trying to think of his wording carefully. I had been a bit of a loose cannon in terms of my reactions; sometimes I was my regular, impervious self…and others, well, I was a bit of a nightmare. That particular night, I was feeling somewhere in between.
“In case you need to go home,” he said slowly. “In case you need me.”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Don’t skip out on my account.”
“I’m not,” he lied right back. “It’s for me. Don’t worry, Jimmy will overcompensate for my lack of drinking.”
“He’d better,” I half-laughed.
Even though Brian was trying to be a sweet guy, I was annoyed that he was tiptoeing around me. I was frustrated that things couldn’t be the same as they were only one week prior. Was this how it would always be? People monitoring my moods closely and conducting themselves unnaturally just ‘in case’ I went postal?
I hardly figured that I needed to be babysat. But I reminded myself that he was only trying to protect me. Since Tyler was gone, I guessed that Brian had volunteered himself to fill that role.
“I have a surprise for you,” Brian grinned as we approached his black SUV.
I beamed, “I love surprises.”
Once we were seated inside, and I’d had enough of inspecting the spotless leather interior and minding my jealousy, the sound system roared up.
“I managed to get my hands on our album,” he raised his eyebrows at me. “For your listening pleasure.”
“I’m going to be annoying,” I confused with great excitement, “But can we just skip ahead to the song you were telling me about? I really, really want to hear it. I promise we can circle back afterwards.”
“Sure,” Brian laughed. “Whatever you want, crazy lady.”
“Tyler would never let me skip ahead,” I told him. “He’d make me wait until my desired choice came on in order. It was really fucking annoying.”
Brian smirked, “Track nine. Here we go.”
The second it started, I was already entertained. The addition of the orchestra was incredible, despite the questionable lyrics. I recognized Jimmy’s voice right aware, marveling at its brilliance. It was insanely unique and I loved it.
“What is this?” I laughed during the slow chorus.
Brian looked to be in his prime. It was the first time he’d actually shared his music with me. It was a song that few people in the world had already had the privilege to hear—I was feeling pretty special.
The song was intricate and dynamic. It was like nothing I’d ever heard before, in the best possible kind of way.
I was disappointed when it drew to a finish.
“So?” Brian asked, turning the volume back down. “What do we think?”
“I love it,” I gushed. “It’s seriously the best piece of music I’ve ever heard. I’m impressed.”
He was beaming. Radiating, even.
“Jimmy wrote it,” Brian told me, making a left turn. “We were all super leery about it—except Matt. Matt was on board right from the beginning. It turned about pretty cool though.”
“It’s amazing,” I continued to gush. “Jimmy’s obviously crazy though.”
“You’re just figuring that out?” Brian snickered.
“More please,” I smiled, gesturing to the stereo.
He grinned at me, “Whatever you want.”
This album was nothing like City of Evil. It was something entirely new, its own beast by any definition. Each song was unique from one another. Brompton Cocktail was my second favourite—obviously not surpassing A Little Piece of Heaven.
“It’s groovy,” I’d said about it, marveling at the guitar riffs. “I really like it.”
“I love that you like my music,” Brian was grinning from ear to ear. “That’s sexy as hell.”
I was finally starting to feel more like myself again. This was what my whole life had been—driving around, blasting good tunes. It was an added bonus that it made Brian happy. I was jealous of his talent and in remarkable awe of his band’s composition abilities.
“Your solos are sexy as hell,” I retorted flirtatiously. “Anyone that can move their fingers that fast is obviously on my to do list.”
Brian cackled, turning into a gated parking lot.
“We’re here,” he told me as he pulled into a parking spot. “Saint Jimmy is around here somewhere.”
I pushed myself out of the vehicle and was surprised to find that the air was cold. I pulled at my jacket to better cover my chest.
“Let’s get you inside,” Brian smirked, rubbing my arms to warm me up.
Thankfully, there was no line at this particular club. The security guard nodded as we passed him.
We found Jimmy straight away. He was at the bar, flirting shamelessly with the cute auburn-haired bartender. She didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Blair!” Jimmy shrieked once I was perched on the stool beside him. “You’re a vision!”
He pulled me in with his long tattooed arms, constricting my air supply. He pet me like a dog…I let him.
“I’ve missed you,” he continued with excitement.
The bartender eyed me jealously. She must have developed a soft spot for Jimmy before I showed up to mark my territory. This both satisfied me and made me push away from my friend. He wasn’t mine to mark.
Mine was pulling up a stool to my right, muscles in his arms flexing as he dragged the stool closer to me. I nearly drooled.
Making sure to maintain eye contact with the bartender, I planted a small kiss on Brian’s cheek.
It was a little out of character to show a random act of affection; after all, I really didn’t have a firm grasp on what kind of relationship Brian and I had. However, he’d given me small kisses before—I figured it was safe to assume it was fine for me to, too.
Brian only smiled. Winking at me lazily and squeezing my knee with his hand.
The bartender was visibly relieved. She resumed her flirtations with Jimmy, taking her time to ask Brian or I what we’d like to drink.
“Stella,” Jimmy said, then pointing at us, “this is Blair, and this is Brian. They are family and so, you have to be nice to them. Quench their thirsts.”
“Blair and Brian,” she repeated amusedly, “I love that. Two B’s. That’s seriously adorable.”
“Hear that, Blair?” Brian quipped to me, “Our names are adorable. I’m so happy that we chose them.”
“Truly blessed,” I mused.
She rolled her eyes at us, “What can I get you guys?”
“Vodka tonic,” I answered her shortly.
Brian squinted, “Just water for me.”
“Water?” Jimmy gawked. “Who the fuck goes to a bar and orders water?”
“A musical god,” Brian retorted.
“Man,” Jimmy whined.
“Don’t worry, Revvy,” I cooed, “We’ll get properly fucked up. Brian can look after us when we get out of control.”
“I like that you said when,” Jimmy grinned deviously. “Give her two drinks, Stella.”
She was looking at me weirdly. It had been pure jealousy moments ago but now it was something else. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
That is, until she said, “Oh my freakin’ goodness! I know you!”
I lowered my eyebrows and then shot Jimmy an accusing look. This was the type of girls he was into? The type of girl that couldn’t bring herself to say the word ‘fuck’? That made no sense to me.
“You’re that girl in the news!” she continued excitedly. “You totally yelled at a reporter! I love your single. It plays on the radio here all the freakin’ time and I just love it.”
I really wasn’t sure what to say, so I said, “Thanks.”
Brian laughed.
“Drinks on me!” she decided loudly. “Sorry about your guitarist, by the way. Total bummer.”
She walked away to fetch my alcohol. I was a little stunned at her passiveness about my friend’s death. A little cold, even for a stranger.
“You good?” Brian asked cautiously.
I waved him off, “I’m fine. Seriously, I’m not a china doll.”
He raised his hands, “I’m just checking.”
“So, to what do we owe the pleasure, anyway?” Jimmy croaked, demanding my attention.
“What do you mean?”
“Didn’t think you’d leave your lair for at least another year,” Jimmy teased. “What’s brought on your urge to leave hibernation?”
“Depression,” I said seriously. “I needed to get out. Who better to get out with than you two?”
“Nobody,” Jimmy grunted. “You’ve made a good decision choosing us. I’m happy to oblige any time binge drinking is suggested.”
Stella returned with our drinks and Brian’s water. He sipped at it with absolute sadness scribbled across his perfect face.
“How’s that water?” Jimmy teased. “Hydrating?”
“Very,” Brian held the glass up to his friend. “Fucking refreshing.”
“Don’t mind this pussy,” Jimmy said quietly to me. “We’re going to do it up right. Should have left your boyfriend at home.”
“I can hear you, ya know,” Brian laughed.
“I love you, man,” Jimmy smirked, “I do…but you’re totally a buzzkill tonight. Drinking your fucking water like an asshole.”
Brian only laughed.
“Okay,” Jimmy turned to me, holding the bottom of my glass as I drank so that I couldn’t stop, “Drink up.”
Jimmy and I wasted no time moving onto shots. We were well on our way to wasted within the hour. My stomach was turning—copious amounts of alcohol into a very empty stomach was admittedly a poor choice on my part.
I carried on.
“It’s fucked up about Tyler,” Jimmy said once we were all outside so Brian and I could smoke.
I was not thrilled to learn that the bar did not permit smoking inside.
“Yeah,” I agreed, trying to keep my body from swaying.
“Are you super fucked up or what?” Jimmy continued, trying to read my soul. “I’d be so fucked up if Brian died.”
“I’m super fucked up,” I slurred. “Like it’s bad. It’s really fucking bad.”
“Fuck, eh,” Jimmy frowned. “Come here.”
He pulled me into his chest. I really didn’t need it. I was okay to speak candidly about the pain but the alcohol had pretty well numbed my actual feelings about the whole thing.
“You’re a perfect fucking specimen, Blair,” Jimmy told me with his subtle lisp making an appearance. “Perfect.”
Brian watched us intently, smoking his cigarette to the left of us. He’d been keeping a close eye on us all night.
“Brian’s a lucky guy,” Jimmy continued. “Fuck man, she’s perfect!”
Jimmy’s voice changed significantly when he started to yell. It made me think back to that song and I smiled. His voice cracked me up.
Brian nodded to his friend. He didn’t seem bothered one way or another about his friend’s ramblings.
“You’re perfect,” I echoed at Jimmy with a laugh.
He took my face into his hands, as he often did, “I mean it, man. You don’t deserve that kind of pain. Fuck, Tyler’s an asshole.”
“Jimmy,” Brian warned, taking a step toward his friend.
Jimmy squinted at me, probably to narrow my face down to only one instead of two, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” I giggled.
But then Jimmy pushed his lips to mine. I was so drunk that I couldn’t process what was happening right away—I was stunned. Literally stunned.
Brian wasted no time at all in pulling his inebriated friend off of me with an aggressive shove. I was surprised that Brian hadn’t hit him. That, honestly, kind of confused me.
I was still standing there, stunned.
“What the fuck is wrong with you,” I could hear Brian berating Jimmy.
Jimmy was beyond fucked, though.
“What are you on?” Brian continued, backing Jimmy up into the brick wall. “How fucked up are you right now?”
“I’m pretty fucked, man,” Jimmy tried not to laugh. “You’re really mad.”
“No shit,” Brian spat. “You just kissed my fucking girlfriend, you dickhead.”
That was it. That was the first time I’d heard Brian refer to me as anything other than Blair. And he used the g-word. I was like a little kid with her first crush bragging to her friend’s about having a boyfriend.
Of course it took Jimmy doing something stupid to evoke that type of blurt from Brian.
“No I didn’t,” Jimmy argued. “I would never do that!”
“You just fucking did!” Brian shouted, he was dangerously close to Jimmy’s face now.
I snapped back into reality and got in between the two men.
“It’s not a big deal,” I assured Brian, trying to seem more sober than I was. “Seriously, it’s fine. He’s really, really drunk—I’m sure it was an accident.”
“I don’t know how you could accidentally kiss someone,” Brian hissed, still glaring at Jimmy.
Jimmy laughed, “Man, I’m so high right now I’d probably kiss you if you came close enough.”
“Brian,” I urged, “It’s fine.”
“If you ever touch her again,” Brian warned his friend, “I will cut your fucking dick off. I swear to god, Jimmy.”
“I would never touch her,” Jimmy maintained.
I was starting to wonder if maybe Brian and I had imagined the whole thing—I was fairly certain it had happened. Brian was sober and knew it had happened. Jimmy seemed to genuinely believe that it hadn’t.
What the fuck was he on? If it was good enough to make you lapse on reality, I wanted it by the truckload.
“Brian,” I reached out to touch his arm but he pulled away from me.
He shook his head at us both, “I need a minute.”
He disappeared back inside.
“Why did you do that?” I demanded.
Jimmy shrugged, “I didn’t mean to. Scout’s honor.”
“Jimmy,” I groaned. “Get it the fuck together.”
“Blair,” Jimmy laughed, “Just say thank you.”
“Thank you for what?”
“Giving you a nice demonstration of how much Brian loves you,” he really exaggerated the word loves. “I wouldn’t give a fuck if someone was banging Stella in front of me.”
“Jimmy,” I groaned again. “Are you actually that stupid?”
“Smart,” he wiggled his eyebrows and tapped on his right temple. “You’re welcome.”
“Don’t ever kiss me again,” I said seriously. “Or I’ll cut your dick off.”
“I would never,” Jimmy pretended to be offended. “What do you take me for, an animal?”
“Can we please go find Brian?” I asked impatiently. “He’s really angry…I don’t think us hanging out here together right now is going to help the situation.”
“You’re probably right,” Jimmy kicked the ground dramatically. “Fucking buzzkill, I told you.”
As we walked back indoors, I whined again, “Why did you have to do that?”
“You’re welcome,” he maintained. “Just don’t let him kick my ass. I bruise like a peach.”
I rolled my eyes, “I’m going to kick your ass, you idiot.”
“Kinky,” Jimmy grinned. “There’s your broody son of a bitch at the bar. I’m scared.”
“You should be,” I half-laughed.
We approached Brian cautiously, Jimmy cowering behind me. For such a giant human, he was truly like a child. Though, in his position, I’d be cowering too. Fuck, I was afraid of Brian in that moment and I hadn’t technically done anything wrong.
“Hey,” I said quietly, sitting next to him.
He looked at me and sighed, “Hey.”
“We okay?” I asked, biting at my lip.
“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “It’s that idiot’s fault,” he nodded to Jimmy. “He gets out of control sometimes—just didn’t think he was stupid enough to pull that shit with you.”
“I’m smart,” Jimmy corrected him before ducking back behind my shoulder.
Brian shook his head, “I’m going to have to kill him now.”
“I understand,” I smiled. “I’ll help you move the body.”
“What a good partner in crime you’d be,” Brian smirked. “Jimmy you can stop hiding. I’m not going to kick the shit out of you in a bar—I’ll do that later in private.”
“Oh, baby,” Jimmy laughed, “don’t rile me up like that.”
Crisis averted…I’ve said it before and it had to be said again; fucking Jimmy.
Despite his tactics, Jimmy’s experiment had been a success. While I seriously hoped he would never, ever kiss me again—it was deeply satisfying to watch Brian get so territorial. Deeply satisfying. I was drooling over him all over again.
Thanks, Jimmy.

Notes

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