Gunslingers

Brian and Zach sat down next to me and shot me looks. They were both holding their guitars.

"What?" I didn't feel like music today. I was too worried about Rae. She had to go in for a third surgery today.

"We thought it would be a good idea for you to write out your feelings," Brian said.

He'd been different since he and Laura officially started dating. Jimmy had his girl, Carol. Zach was getting it on with Maeve and even Johnny had Sarah. They all had women, and the girl I'd fucked twice was in surgery. And the hard part was I had caught feelings for her.

"It would help, Shadz." Zach handed me paper and a pen. "You clearly have feelings for her and care for her, and you won't tell us anything."

Sighing, I grabbed the items and tapped the pen against my chin. Maybe they were right. I couldn't get my head on straight, not while thinking about Martinez.

I did have a few lines running through my head. I could piece them together and have a song. Singing might make me feel better or at the very least take my mind off Rae.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around when I'm much too far away. We all need the person who can be true to you. But I left her where I found her and now I wished I'd stayed. Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired. I'm missing you again, oh no. Once again.

Brian leaned over my shoulder to read my words. He nodded his head and started to strum a gentle, almost country tune. It was beautiful, and Zacky softly sang along. I loved how we all clicked, instantly knowing where the other wanted to go with the music.

"Write more, Sanders," Brian said while working on the tune. "Zach and I will get the melody."

I nodded and went back to writing. The first words would be the chorus, and the more I wrote, the more it flowed.
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Rae looked pale on the bed. She had already been small and now she was scarily tiny. I walked over to her bed and gently grasped her left hand. The doctors wouldn't tell me anything.

"Hey, beautiful. It's been a couple weeks since we got out of the compound. You've been fighting hard, but you've had three surgeries. I'll take some blame on that. I think I gave you an infection from the cloths.

"Fuck, Rae. I just need you to wake up and get better. I was wrong. Trust me, I've never said that before. You are an amazing Marine, babe, and you are going to be Special Forces. I just know it."

Stroking her knuckles, I watched her face. The doctors had put her in a medically induced coma last week but had pulled her out after yesterday's surgery. She hadn't woken up yet though.

"I don't really know what to say." I told her. "Laura and Carol said you like music, so I thought I'd sing to you."

I released her hand and picked up the guitar Brian had lent me. Now, I wasn't the best player, I preferred piano and vocals, but he'd helped me learn the song we just finished writing.

"Well, that's all I got, Marine. I'll come see you tomorrow." Kissing her forehead, I started to leave. It was hard to see her like this.

"Matt..." her voice was small and broken, but at least she was talking.

"Yeah, I'm right here." I walked back over to her bed and took a hold of her hand.

'What happened?"

"I... I think the doctors should tell you," I said, preparing to push the call button.

"No, you."

"Well, you were shot twice and then have had three surgeries because of an infection and the nerve damage to your arm."

She looked at me with confusion. "How bad is it?"

"Bad, Rae."

She nodded and tears formed in her eyes. "Can I go back to combat?"

"I don't know."

Notes

Yo fake nails and typing don't mix.

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Heretic Blood