Gunslingers

My arm was completely numb even after Matt had pulled the bullet out. I felt like crap even after the blood transfusion. I couldn't believe he had given me his own blood.

"Matt, are we gonna make it home?"

He looked over at me and nodded. "I'm going to make sure of it."

We sat in silence for a bit, me fading in and out. Every time I zoned out for too long, Sanders would shake me awake. He was pissing me off; I just wanted to sleep.

"Rae, you can't sleep on me."

"I want to so badly. Everything in my body hurts."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "You've got to stay awake, Rae. We're getting out of this. Do you want me to sing to you?"

I blinked. Could Sanders even sing? I nodded and waited to see what came of it.

Matt sent me a smile with those damn dimples. "Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun will never rise. Living another day in disguise, these feelings can't be right. Lend me your courage to stand up and fight on tonight. Stand up and fight.

"Now fighting rages on and on. To challenge me you must be strong. I'll walk your land but don't belong. Two million soldiers can't be wrong.

"It's no fun but I've been here before. I'm far from home and I'm fighting your war. Some are scared, others killing for fun. I shot a mother right in front of her son."

Glancing over at Matt, I wondered what that song was about. He had a beautiful voice, filled with emotion. It was deep and raspy and sound like it belonged to a metal singer.

"What's the song about?"

Matt stopped humming and squeezed my hand again. "My first tour as a SEAL. I did kill a mother, and then it's morphed into the Iraq invasion."

"Does writing songs help you deal with the war?" Matt was starting to blur in my vision.

Those beautiful dimples flashed. "Not just with the war, babe. It helps with anything I'm dealing with."

Spots appeared in front of my eyes. "What was the first song you wrote?"

"A shitty punk song with my high school friends." Matt gently squeezed my hand. I think he was doing it to keep me awake. "We weren't any good, so we stopped. But Zach and I started another one with three Naval pilots."

"Really?" I smiled and my vision fully went black. "Matt, I can't see."

I heard him chuckle. "Babe, your eyes are closed. You have to keep talking to me."

"Okay, about what?"

"Why do you want to be Spec Ops?"

I looked at him. Was he really going to ask about the thing that had caused our fallout? "Matt, really?"

He squeezed my hand again. "I genuinely want to know. I fucked up last time."

"Yeah, you did." I gripped his hand tighter. "I've always wanted to be a Marine, ever since I was a little girl. My dad and grandpa had served; it was like a calling. We just wanted to serve.

"Now, the Martinez family has a long history of only men for children, but my dad had three girls. My older sister, Lucy, is a boxer. Dad's so proud and rightly so. My other sister, Mira, she's a firefighter. She can out lift him. Then I joined the Marines. He about imploded." I laughed and coughed.

Matt squeezed my hand, a signal for me to continue. "They started meat a desk jockey job, and it was stifling. I don't know how, but I convinced my CO to let me train for combat. Turns out, I was good, and he requested I get assigned to a unit.

"That's when I met Jeff, my new CO. When he found out I was fast and strong, he talked to me about Force Recon. He's been helping me train. I can do this, Matt."

There went those damn dimples. "I can help. Force Recon is similar to the SEALs. I'm sorry I didn't hear you out. I have no excuse."

I squeezed his hand. "In your defense, I did overreact. Every man except Jeff has reacted the same exact way."

"Are we going to be okay?" Matt asked softly.

"No, we already are."

PRESENT DAY

The raspy voice of Matt woke me up. He was singing about a road and God? I didn't really understand the lyrics, but I was happy to hear his voice. He'd been visiting me since they'd taken me out of Germany.

He started to leave, but I called for him. He came over and sat down, answering my questions. I could sense nerves rolling off him. Matt was so rarely anxious.

"Can I go back to combat?"

He looked away from me. "I don't know."

My heart dropped. Were all my dreams going to come crashing down around me? Tears formed in my eyes, and Matt swept them away with a thumb.

"We're going to figure it out, Rae. I promise."

Notes

Hey this story and Cold State Line will be updated when I can. I am moving to a new state right now. But enjoy!

How many times did I say "squeezed"? Anyone want to count?

Please rate and comment!

Heretic Blood