God Damn

The last couple of days have been relaxing and I think Matt and I needed that so much. It was nice to spend time with my husband and help work on some new material for the band. He is bringing that side out in me more and I am quite enjoying it.

Matt and I decided to go for a hike and enjoy the wilderness around the cabin and exercise was good for the mind something both of us needed.

I grabbed Matt’s hand as we exited the cabin and smiled over at my husband. “Think you can keep up with me?” I teased even though I knew he could keep up with me but it was good to keep things light between us these days.

“I think that can be arranged.” Matt winked at me and I kissed me. After all these years, together I always enjoyed the simple affections from my husband and he still makes me giddy inside when we get alone time.

I took in the beauty of the trail we were walking on and I gave Matt’s hand a squeeze. I looked over at the morning sky and it made me think of Jimmy. He was somebody who was always there for me. When we were teenagers he encouraged me to get Matt out of the friend zone and I was thankful. He also listened to me when I was having troubles with Benji and when I first moved to LA.

I will always miss him and I know he would be proud of me and how far I’ve come and especially with my relationship with Matt. I just remember how happy he was when I finally moved back to Huntington Beach but it killed me that my sister did not treat him as well I thought she would. Nobody in my mind could replace Jimmy but I knew I had to accept that he was gone despite how hard it truly felt.

Matt’s voice took me out of my thoughts. “Are you okay Saige? You were pretty spaced out there.”

I looked over at Matt “Yeah I’m fine baby. I was just thinking about Jimmy and how he was always there for me. I remember when he convinced me in high school that it would be good if I showed you I wanted to be more than friends.” I grinned at that memory and I saw the smile come to Matt’s face.

“I remember when you made the first move on me.” I grinned at the memory of the first-time Matt and I broke the friend zone.

He picked me up in his car that he just recently got and I was always happy to have Matt around. I enjoyed those times when we got to hang out just the two of us. We drove around Huntington Beach one night and we parked by the beach. I kissed him for the first time and I was nervous at how he would react. When he kissed me back that was the first time I felt truly complete in life even if it was only for short time. At that moment, we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend and it was one of the highlights of my high school days. Our relationship got me through the tough times that come with being a teenager and having a complicated family situation. Even though our relationship did not last after high school, Matt and his friends showed me the fun of side of life that I will always cherish. I will be forever grateful to Jimmy, Matt, Zack and Brian for that. I did not know Johnny in high school but I am thankful to call them all my family now.

“I figured that was the only way I could show you that you meant more to me than just a friend.” I smiled and pulled Matt in for a soft kiss. I was so lucky to have him in my life because at one time I thought I would never have the chance to call him my husband.

“You continue to show me and I am grateful to have you in my life Saige. I love you so damn much and I have since our high school days.” I smiled at that and despite me marrying Benji my love for Matt has been a long-time thing in my life.

“I love you too Matt and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.” I ran my hand over his cheek.

“Shall we continue hiking or would you like to head back to the cabin?”

“Let’s head back. I think we got enough exercise for now.” I took one of Matt’s hand in mine and we walked the distance back to the cabin. A comfortable silence formed between us and I continued to reflect on the good times we shared with Jimmy but also all the good memories I have with Matt up to now.

As we reached the cabin Matt picked me up bridal style into the cabin and I giggled. I always admired Matt’s physical strength. That was one of the things that first attracted me to him when I met him in high school.

He put down as we entered the cabin and wrapped my arms around his waist. “How about we get a shower and make a good breakfast. Then we can go from there.”

“Sounds perfect baby.” Matt leaned down and connected our lips in a simple but loving kiss. I took one of his hands and led him to the bathroom and we got undressed. He ran his hands over my back as I turned on the water and let it warm up.

I turned around and faced Matt and ran my hands along his tattooed chest. His touch always made me feel amazing and sometimes I had a hard time controlling myself even after all the time we have been together.

“I’m not used having the chance to see you naked this much since the kids were born.” I grinned at that.

“I am not complaining about seeing you naked this much either.” Matt’s words sent a shiver down my spine.

“You have all week to ravish me.” I smirked and got into the shower and Matt quickly joined me. He pressed me lightly against the shower wall and I connected our lips in a passionate kiss. I enjoyed feeling myself reconnect with Matt on a intimate level. Over the last few months we have been so busy that our sex life was put on the back burner since the kids took so much of our time.

We had a quick round of steamy shower sex before we both got clean. I knew later we would take our time in bed.

After we got showered and dressed we made a wonderful breakfast. Matt did all the cooking and I made coffee which was one of my strengths in the kitchen. I love to cook but sometimes it does not always go as planned. But since I have had kids I have learned how to make healthier options and please my whole family.

Once we were finished breakfast Matt went to do some writing and I cleaned up the dishes. I joined him after a while and he was humming a melody while writing some lyrics. I grabbed one of the other guitars and sat beside Matt on the couch.

I strummed some basic notes as a warm up and Matt looked over at me. “I can’t wait to see how our collaboration turns out when we get into the studio. I’m sure the guys are going to enjoy what you will offer to the album.” I smiled at my husband’s kind words and I felt my face heat up a bit.

“Aww thanks Matty but I don’t want to interfere or distract you in the recording process.” I was honored they wanted my help but I was worried I would be more of a distraction.

“Trust me when I tell you this Saige. You don’t give yourself more credit when it comes to your musical ability and I want you to have a chance to be involved with the band. You will be a welcomed edition to the new album and the guys will appreciate everything you offer.”

“I do trust you. This is just new to me and I don’t want to mess up.” I felt embarrassed over my overthinking because Matt made me feel so good about myself. Especially regarding my musical ability that I suppressed when I was with Benji. I would never be able to play guitar as good as Brian, Matt or Zack but I was happy to offer them what I could.

I leaned over and kissed Matt’s lips and ran a hand along his cheek. “Show me what you got baby.” I smiled.

I positioned the guitar on lap and I started to play and I sang a bit as well. Thinking about the past and Jimmy’s passing inspired me. When I stopped playing Matt had one of his adorable smiles on his face.

“That was good Saige. Your voice sounded amazing and I think I can add to what you played for me.” He then started to play on his guitar and sang and I started singing with him. For the rest of the day we jammed and wrote down some lyrics and came up with some good melodies for future use.

I truly feel like since Matt and I have been together he has complete and utter trust in me regarding my musical ability I was quite enjoying the chance to be involved on a Avenged Sevenfold album and to work so closely with him on a musical level, which was something that was a completely new territory for me.

Notes

Hello, everyone! I hope you all enjoy the update. I was going to wait to post this until tomorrow but I decided to post it now.

I appreciate any feedback which helps motivate me to continue with this story and feel free to rate my story as well :)

The next update will be up tomorrow or the next day.