When I Was Your Man

"I tried to wait on you, you know," Karma told Brian, who cocked an eyebrow and gave her the don't-bullshit-me look.

"And you were passed out on the couch. I fell asleep, too, and when I woke up later I walked to the guest room. I slept there. Without Matty over here," she continued to explain pointing to Matt. Brian's eyebrows went even further up. “That doesn't explain the naked guy running out of your bedroom this morning, who had a fucking hard-on by the way. Damn bro last time I checked it wasn't that..." He cut himself off when he realized the matter was serious.

Matt chuckled at his remark for a second. It was so typical of Brian to joke around and only later realize he wanted to be serious. He took it as his signal to continue their adventurous story. "So this morning I heard a noise from the guest room and figured it was K, so I went to check up on her."

He could tell that Bri didn't buy it. "Again: why were you only in your boxers and your stuff was shattered all around the floor?"

"Uh, that's a kind of funny story..." Matt grinned, knowing he was about to fuck up even more. "I thought you were gonna think that. So we decided to pretend she wasn't there. I knew you'd grow suspicious if I was dressed and so..."

"You took your pants off and walked outside in your boxers so I wouldn't think she's here? Come on! Grow some fucking balls, Matt. Admit it."
"There's nothing to admit."
“If I find out you guys are lying I'm gonna chop off your balls, Matt. I care about this band."

Matt hated himself for what he said next. “You care about Karma. Always have." Brian flipped them off, then wordlessly turned around and walked out of the room. "I'm happy with my wife. We're expecting, by the way," he called in from outside. “Wait, Bri? Why didn't you tell us yesterday?" Matt called after him.

“I found out this morning, she just sent me a text. Doc's confirmed it." He walked back inside the room. “And you know, this is why I want it to go smooth this time. I'll have a family. I'll provide through them with this band and I swear to God, you're not gonna fuck it up this time. Keep your dirty hands to yourselves. Whatever happened last night, you're fucking stopping, we clear?"

Matt rolled his eyes. “Come on Bri, it wasn't only us who ruined it... You all lost interest for a while, and you all wanted to settle down. Besides, nothing happened anyway. Congrats on becoming a dad." He knew he sounded like a retard. Brian didn't believe him one thing.

"Whatever man. I'm taking your car, K. You're obviously going for round ten."

They ignored him as he walked out of the room for good. "You're such a good liar," Karma said once they heard the door. "Well, my part of the story was almost true, it's you who invented stuff," Matt chuckled.

"Uh, you said nothing happened," she cocked her eyebrows and threw him a disfavoring look. Since when does making out count? Matt wondered. And why the hell is she so pissed at me? "Well, technically..." Matt said, but she didn't even seem to notice it.

"You fucked me while I was passed out drunk," she yelled accusingly. He inhaled sharply, then counted to ten. "I uh... I fucking what?"
She stared at him with a blank expression.

What the hell does she even think of me? Matt saw her swallow. "We didn't?" She looked surprised. Is there a hint of...? Whatever. Such a fucking bitch for thinking I'd do that to her...
"No. As I said, I wouldn't do that. But thanks for showing me where I stand and how highly you think of me,“ he spat.

"Matt, you don't understa-"
"Don't fucking bullshit me. You really thought I'd do that to you?"
"I...," she began but Matt wouldn't have it.

"You know what? Since you apparently can't think any worse of me maybe I should have! You were begging for my dick anyway," he shouted. She just glared at him. Matt knew he shouldn't have said that. He should simply wait for the mood to cool down, apologize for even going along with the kiss and swear it wouldn't happen again. But he couldn't stop.

Was it because of the huge hangover he was nursing, was he still drunk or did he do it because he felt like he was finally done with bullshitting around? He never found out why he kept talking so provocatively.

"Ohhh please fuck me Matt, ugghhh I missed your body so much," he imitated what he heard during their previous night. He didn't even have time yet to process what happened. Saying those words made his mind only more confused.

"I didn't say that," she defended herself. Matt's lips curled into a smug grin. "Here's where you're wrong."

His body moved without him being able to control it. It felt like he was watching his movements from the outside, almost like an out-of-body experience.

Before he realized what was happening, he had her pressed into the corner. Her face was dangerously close to his. He could feel her breath on his lips. I wish I had some more alcohol in my system, Matt thought, knowing he wouldn't dare to make that last move.

He felt her inhale deeply. Her eyes were closed. She stood there defenseless, given up all her guard. Fuck. Matt regretted that he rarely ever thought with his heart. He couldn't pull through. It would ruin everything. The band is just reforming. Brian's right, we fucked up last time. All those thoughts were taking up too much space in his head.

"Bullshit you wouldn't do me anytime," Matt heard himself hiss right into her face. He pulled away, and with that, Karma seemed to snap back to reality.
Her face turned hard. "Not in a thousand years, Matt."
"You're lying and you know it."

An hour later, Matt laid on his couch. He couldn't stand the lingering smell she left in the bedroom. He'd already pulled off the sheets, ready to wash them so she wouldn't be on his mind constantly. Then he decided against it, thinking he might want to smell it again later.

The previous night's events were on his mind constantly. He was too tired and hungover to walk downstairs to his studio. Still he wrote down some random lyrics that came to his mind.
Being with her felt so good to him, almost like it was meant to be. He hated that he loved her so, but at the same time he hated that she seemed to at least be attracted to him.

She wouldn't have kissed him, or tried to sleep with him. She wouldn't have let down her guard another time in the morning. Matt wanted to punch himself in the face for doing the right thing, for not kissing her.

If she weren't interested at all, Matt was sure he'd find it easier to cope with that unrequited crush. But as things were now he didn't know where he stood. Was there a chance? Maybe. Would they take it? Maybe not.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed. His display informed him that he received a new text from Karma. His insides twisted painfully at the sight. A part of the message could be read.


From: Karma
You're right, I did want that. Eve...
Swipe to display message

Fuck.

Notes

Here we go, another update for you guys :)