When I Was Your Man

“Matt, what are you doing here?“ Karma asked, and Matt bit his lip. She looked so gorgeous with her hair down, her dark red blouse and the white skin tight pants. Is she glad to see me? Who did she come with? Is she gonna leave now?

His throat felt constricted. His palms were starting to sweat. Shit, why am I so nervous now all of a sudden? It’s just Karma. Just my bandmate. Just a friend. Don’t fuck this up, Sanders.

“I was actually gonna meet Val here, did you see her already?“ he said. He was pleased with how firm his voice sounded. Karma smiled. “I was gonna meet her, too. Looks like that bitch fooled us.“ They laughed. It felt freeing. Matt felt much more comfortable now after her reaction. “Looks like it,“ Matt said.

“While you’re already here, why don’t you sit down, huh? Bet that was her plan all along,“ she smiled, motioning to the seat across from her. Matt slowly sunk down onto the chair, taking a second to muster her. She was beautiful.

“I take it she’s not coming, that’s a table for two,“ he concluded. Karma laughed, “yeah, and I wondered why she didn’t want a ride.“ Matt snickered as he heard her say it. “Me too! And I thought it was because last time I took them along, Estelle threw up all over my car!“

Her eyes opened wide. “Really? Oh my God, you must have been so pissed. You love your car!"

Their laughter was interrupted by the waiter who handed them their menus. “Do Master and Miss already know what to drink?“ The waiter asked nasally. Oh my God, I forgot this place was so... stuck up.

Before Matt could answer, Karma said, “We’ll have a bottle of your finest Cabernet Sauvignon and some sparkling water to go along with it.“ The waiter nodded, obviously pleased with her answer.

“My treat,“ she said as she leaned over to him once the waiter was gone. Matt smiled and nodded, mainly because he knew she would never let him pay tonight. They opened the menu in silence.

While Matt went over various items, not really sure whether to pick the steak with the baked potato and baby carrots or the roasted turkey, he heard Karma laugh on the other side. Damn, does she have any idea how good it feels to sit here with her after all this time?

“What’s so funny?“ He asked, trying his best to sound casual. “Well, our beloved Miss DiBenedetto left us a note with the menu,“ Karma snickered, then handed him a handwritten note.

“You two, I’ve been giving you life updates about one another for years. It’s time you talk yourself. Have a great night and please don’t go home immediately. - Val.“ stood there in her elegant curved handwriting, her signature with the dominant V Zacky copied from her for his autographs.

Matt laughed. “That is such a typical Val.“ Karma nodded in agreement, then closed her menu. “Did you decide yet?“
“Yeah I did,“ he replied, “I’m gonna go full classy and take the steak even though it doesn’t really go along with white wine.“ She threw her hair back.

“And you?“
“I’ll have the Ceasar’s Salad.“
Matt felt an old-familiar pang inside his chest. She’s so not over it. This has gone too far. Why can't she just eat normally? She has the most amazing body anyway...

“For once, Karma,“ he said with a pleading look on his face, “please just order what you really want instead of a salad. It’s not gonna kill you.“
She sighed. “Are we really gonna start this before we even get our food?“

He leaned back, knowing better than to respond. It always bugged him. When all of this started, he couldn’t ever go to dinner with her anymore, simply because she didn’t want to eat. Except for this one time in London, he didn’t even ask her for dinner or something.

“It mattered, you know,“ he said lowly. “I know,“ she responded, probably sounding softer than she wanted to. “It was one of those things that just started piling up and then led to what happened.“ How right she was. Matt shrugged, mainly because no reaction would be appropriate.

It’s an issue she has to solve with herself. No matter what I do or say, she’s gonna take it the wrong way, that’s what I thought. That’s why I never said anything.

“Did you already decide on your food?“ The waiter asked as he poured Matt a very small amount of wine. Matt rolled his eyes at Karma and she grinned, knowing how much he hated wine tasting.

That’s the only thing that sucks about being a guy, Matt thought as he twirled around the glass and looked at the wine’s color and pretended to be a fine connoisseur of the liquid, and sweaty balls. But yeah, besides that - being a guy is awesome.

He put a very small amount of wine inside his mouth and pretended to taste it. To him, most wines tasted very similar. Finally he decided he’d done enough to be able to judge the taste of the wine, so he nodded and Karma was poured a glass, too.

“I’ll have the baked potato with a side of onion rings, please,“ she told the waiter, and it made Matt happier than it should. I said eat properly and now she’s not having that salad tonight. I still matter!

His happiness was interrupted by the waiter. Oh yeah what did I want again? He almost forgot to order. “I’ll have the rump steak, please, medium rare,“ he said, then turned his eyes back to Karma with an easy smile.

“Yeah, you sure know a lot about wine, do you?“ She snickered, and Matt had to laugh. “Absolutely. I buy the cheapest with the highest percentage of alcohol. I mean,“ he coughed as if he wanted to correct himself, “this one has a fine earthy taste with a mildly nutty aroma aftertaste!" She laughed.

“Anyway, how have you been?" She asked with a genuine smile.
“Well, I've been writing a lot of stuff. I mean, our album hasn't been out for long enough to make a new one, but for some reason I'm just very creative at the moment."
“Oh, so you probably took your first shower in weeks today?" She mocked him, and Matt flashed her a grin. “Yeah, and I even brushed my teeth, so feel honored!"

She took a sip from her wine. “So, how have you been?" He asked. “Well, busy as always for starters. But I'll be home for some months now. Gotta learn how to ride for a new role. And I'm so scared of horses," she answered with a laugh. Matt grinned as he remembered that one time a fan who won a contest invited the entire band on a horse trip. Karma managed to fall off the horse while it was not even moving. Thankfully, she wasn't injured.

“But yeah, I've been writing some lyrics and reading up on a lot of stuff, like space and AI for another possible role. So I don't really know if they fit with Avenged... They certainly don't fit with my solo stuff." She looked up at him for a second. “I mean, if you even wrote for Avenged?"

“Well honestly, I don't even know myself. I mean, if this band is... still alive. I'd love it to be," he said with an uneasy smile. “Well, me too. And we could write and record during my pause, then we're just gonna put it out when we think is a good time, right?" Matt was grinning ear to ear. "I'd love that!"

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. Karma almost finished her plate, which was enormous. The rump steak tasted just like at everyone’s favorite restaurant in Huntington Beach, Merido’s.

Matt felt like he didn’t have such a great time in months, maybe even years. They kept their conversation light and easy, but somehow, Karma always managed to amuse him. When it was time to go, Matt remembered to be a gentleman and helped her into her jacket.

His fingers felt cramped. He wished he could make time stop, or at least suggest anything to prolong their date - which definitely wasn’t a date. But the slow cruel hands of time kept turning the wheels, and they arrived at Karma’s car sooner than he wanted to.

“I had a great time tonight, Matt,“ She said with a smile. Matt felt like he was in one of those movies where that exact line always meant ‘kiss me‘. He knew better than that, though. This time it definitely meant nothing but 'I had a great time tonight'.

“Me too, it was great to catch up with you,“ he heard himself say. I sound like an old guy meeting his old tennis friend that he never really liked, Matt thought with a frown.

“And by the way, congrats on making it onto Guns n’ Roses. Looks like you really achieved every single thing you’ve been dreaming of ever since you were barely twenty,“ Matt said, not knowing why it escaped his mouth without him wanting to say it.

“Oh yeah, that,“ she said with a grin, “that is totally different than you think! Alright, so do you remember my make up artist?“ Matt furrowed his brows. Of course he remembered the blue-haired beauty Karma got along with so well. He nodded.

“Well, I technically got her into GnR,“ she said, then taking the questioning look on his face as a motivation to elaborate.

“I got her into the band. Like, I heard her sing while cleaning up once and she just fits so perfectly. And I don’t really have time for another band, so I turned down Axl when he ask-“ -
“Wait,“ Matt interrupted her, “you met Axl Rose? Like, THE Axl Rose from Guns n’ Roses?“

She nodded, then grinned. “Yeah, I met him back at some Rock Against Cancer event back in 2014. Nice guy. But he believes in past life regression and stuff.“ Matt laughed, remembering their drunken conversation on a hotel balcony that one night when Karma said Matt must have been a woman in a previous life.


“You’re such an asshole,“ she slurred, then walked over to his chair and sat on his lap. Oh my God woman do you have any idea what you’re doing to horsey down there if you do that?

“Why am I an asshole?“ He grinned, bringing her beautiful face very close to his. “Well, I don’t… remember why… But I said so and that means you are! I'm always right!“ She was drunk, and Matt enjoyed that night. He had no idea why. They just straight up got drunk and talked for hours on the balcony.

“You were a girl in another life, I’m so convinced of that,“ she said, hiccups interrupting her every now and then. “And then… someone broke up with you and that’s why you’re such an asshole to girls now.“ Matt laughed out loud, the alcohol getting the best of him. “Yeah sure,“ he said, then kissed her gently. Her lips tasted like whisky.


“We broke up less than a month after that…“
Matt jumped when he realized that he said that out loud.

“Yeah we did,“ she said curtly, then looked at the floor. Matt took a deep breath and tried to think about anything to say that would take the awkwardness out of the air.

But Karma was quicker. “So I told Axl no but I know someone. Yeah and then he said I should join them for some concerts and do that with Melissa. Honestly it’s just background singing so I don’t know if I would have wanted that.“

Matt was glad the conversation was in full bloom again.
“Dude, I would have died to background sing for Guns n’ Roses,“ he retorted and Karma grinned.
“Too bad you’re not a girl in this life, Sanders.“

Notes

Update for you guys! Hope you liked it :)

Finally they meet! And it went alright, didn't it?

By the way: GnR really has a girl who joined them, her name is Melissa Reese and she's amazing. :3