When I Was Your Man

“I can’t believe my lady’s going off to tour with Guns n’ fucking Roses,“ Matt complained to his friends while he turned the steaks on the barbecue. “Oh my God,“ Zacky chimed in, “me neither. It’s crazy, huh? We all had things we strived for but Karma? We never thought she was actually gonna achieve that. And fucking hell, she was the first one to ever do!“

Brooks chuckled. “Actually, I was. I’d never set my aims too high. I wanted a wife and kids and to make a living off of music,“ he said. “Okay, the first one after Brooks,“ Zacky corrected himself. “I wanted kids. And to play an acoustic set at the Grammy museum,“ Brian inserted, and Matt smiled. He knew that for the longest time, Brian and his only interests were getting shitfaced and getting groupies. He was glad they shared moderate interests now.

“And I’m certain this grammy museum thing will happen,“ he said. “By the way, how’s Michelle holding up with that pregnancy?“ Brian laughed. “Boy, she’s moody as fuck. Like, a trillion times Val when she was pregnant, and I mean, Val at least had a reason to be moody. That asshole Daniel!“ He rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed.

“But yeah, it feels crazy to watch that stomach grow,“ he then said. Is that a tear in your eye Bri? Remember, only Michelle has those pregnancy hormones! I’m sure it’s just the fumes from the barbecue.

“I wanted a clothing line, for Avenged to take off, which we kind of did, and kids, too. And I think I’m in a good place with Meaghan, I’m actually thinking of asking her to stop taking the pill,“ Zack then said. “It’s crazy how all things are kind of falling into place, right?“ Johnny chimed in, then everyone smiled as they thought about it. “I’m content, we’re actually about to try for a kid, too. But the biggest surprise was our little Matty,“ he chuckled.

“Oh yeah definitely,“ Brian laughed, “though he never knew what he wanted, it was Karma. Like, all the time.“ Matt smiled to himself, realizing just how true it was what his best friend said. “Yep, and I intend on staying with her.“

“Alright, steaks are done,“ he announced a second later, somehow glad the conversation was over. It was strange to talk to his bandmates about love, kids and serious things when some years ago they’d been chasing groupie after groupie, night after night, together. The wild days were over, at least to an extent. But the strangest memories remained, and they made it hard for him to think of him as mature adults, even though he knew they were.

“Do you wanna stream the concert tomorrow?“ Brian asked while they were all chewing on their steaks. “I was thinking of heading there. But I’m not sure yet…“ Matt shrugged, not wanting them to know he’d actually bought a plane ticket the day before. Val, too, wanted to go. Johnny was the only one who knew as him and Lacey would be taking Val's daughter for the night.

“I think you should go. Maybe you’ll even meet Axl,“ Zack said, and they all drank to that. “Actually, I thought you’d laugh at me but… I bought a ticket already. Going to Vegas tomorrow first thing in the morning.“ They laughed. “We knew you would!“ Christ said, “And Val told me, too. She’s dropping off Estelle tomorrow because she’s going, too.“ Matt grinned. “That’s definitely gonna motivate your guys to try harder for a kid,“ he laughed. “Definitely!“

A couple of hours later, Matt had a good buzz going on when he entered Johnny’s bar for some more drinks. He told himself he was different now than then when he came to Johnny's to pick up women. After all, he couldn't just stop going there because he had too many memories there. No matter how much he liked being around Karma all the time, it still felt good to meet up with the guys alone for a change.

“I think we should do a shot challenge,“ Johnny called out, and Matt went along despite thinking he actually didn’t want to get drunk because of obvious reasons. “But only one, alright?“ He said, noticing he was slurring more than he wanted to. “I think our Matty here is a little outta shape,“ he heard Brian say behind himself, and he was right.

“I’m an old man, you fuckers,“ he retorted, then grinned as he outdid Johnny with the challenge. “Yesss Shadz fucking for the winnn,“ Zacky slurred, then handed him another drink. God damn it, what are they even? Some kind of alcohol zombies? How the hell did I drink entire bottles of whisky when I was younger? I guess we were all alcoholics at some point...

An hour later, Matt had to admit that he wasn’t tipsy anymore, he was drunk. Some starstruck girls had joined them, but one of them had impressed him in particular. She was such a fan of the guys that she just bought a plane ticket from Italy and tried her luck at Johnny's Bar to meet them every night. It was some kind of admiration Matt was feeling, that she was so committed to them, nothing more, he told himself.

“So, M Shadows, why don’t you tell me some more about the new album? Is your girlfriend gonna be on it or is she out?“ That girl asked. Matt scolded himself for forgetting her name all the time. “Uh yeah she’s definitely not out. I mean, why would she be? We just had a hard time fitting into everyone’s schedule. But Karma’s definitely in.“ He smiled as he thought about her.

“But she’s indeed your girlfriend, right?“ The woman asked, her accent much more prominent than before, maybe because she was getting drunker and drunker. “Sure, we just announced that,“ he answered with a smile. “You see, that’s a real bummer. I’d hoped I could win you over for some, you know…“ Matt chuckled. She was hot, that he had to admit. In another life, he would have definitely gone for it. But not now, not when he finally had the love of his life.

He bent over to whisper in her ear, not wanting everyone to hear it. “You see, I’m really really happy with her. I’m not gonna ruin this. But thanks for your interest, it’s flattering. I'm sure you're a great girl and all, but that's just not my life anymore.“ He flashed her a dimply smile, then walked out of the bar. He was done for the night, it had been fun.

But now it was time to leave, time to call Karma and ask her how the rehearsal went, then go to bed alone for the first time in actual months. He was sure, though, that this time he wouldn’t mind sleeping alone as much as back when he didn’t have her.

To: Group chat
I just left, sorry guys but this bitch just wouldn’t leave me alone. @Syn don’t forget to pick up your car from my place tomorrow.

To: Karma
I don’t think you realize how much you changed me, seriously. Thanks for making me want to be better all the time. I love you. FaceTime?

Notes

Sorry this is kind of short but I wanted to show you how much Matt changed :)