I can't believe I know so little about her, Matt thought in awe as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. Back then in Big Bear, he'd wished they could spend days in bed. They'd long made up for that lost time now that they were back in Huntington Beach.

He yawned quietly and watched the peaceful body sleep in his arms. Then again, his initial thought returned. He did not know much about her, so much was true. It was a shame considering they had been traveling the world together since she joined the band. And of course, their failed previous relationship.

But then again, Matt thought, none of those relations were quite what they should have been. There was too much tension between them to be bandmates. Back then, they couldn't get along if their lives depended on it. They stayed away from each other for the band's sake, both wanting to either rip off either each other's heads or clothes most of the times.

It was astounding that it took so long, and even more astounding that it was their clothes, not their heads. And then, their relationship. It was not what it should have been. Matt was jealous, Karma had all kinds of struggles herself.

Suddenly, a lump in his throat formed. The realization how precious what they had was struck him unexpectedly. She was right when she said they never did anything right. So far, Matt told himself determinedly. So far.
The blonde in his arms turned around with a yawn. "You're up late," she said. Matt couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked.

"Don't tell me you wanna do me again," she said playfully.
"I wanna know you better," he whispered. She yawned again, then her eyes locked with his as some strands of her hair fell into her face. Her look was caring, and open.
"Like what?" She asked.

Matt didn't think much. "Where do I begin? Did you ever have pets? Do you still talk to your parents? How old were you when you were first in love? And how old where you when you realized that first love was not love at all? Who was it that broke your heart the first time?"

He inhaled. She threw him a smile. "A lot of questions you have there, you're lucky I'm as curious about you. Smokes..." She didn't have to continue.
"The balcony it is," he said contently, flashing a smile. While he fetched two glasses of wine - his relationship should at least have some kind of class - she arranged some blankets and cushions into a cozy seating space.

"I kinda like that, being so spontaneous with you," Matt confessed, and Karma smiled. "Me too. Thought it'd add another slice of luxury to us freezing our asses off on the balcony smoking fags," she replied.

"By the way..." she pulled our a little box from underneath a blanket. "You didn't?" Matt's eyes were wide open. "Cuban cigars, just the one you liked so much back at that pool party Brian threw a couple years ago. Romeo y Julietas, how fitting."

"But you didn't..." He began, feeling flattered.
"I wanted to, okay?"
Matt smiled. She did know a lot about him, things tht he didn't even know himself.
They got cozy on the balcony, and Matt lit the Habana immediately. Karma was leaned against him. causing a warmness to spread.

"So about those questions," Karma asked. "How did that come to be? We date, we tour together and we don't know much about the other."
"Exactly," Matt said.

"I had lots of pets. Had an aquarium at first, with lots of fish, and they reproduced very quick. So then we sold some of them, but eventually got tired of it and then sold the whole aquarium. New owner loves it. And then I had two cats, Tabby and Dolly. They were sweet, and they still live with my parents.

To answer your next question: I do not. I just don't want to be told what an amazing career as a lawyer I could have so far ... God damn it," she sounded sad. "But I manage," she said then. "I'm better off seeing them very rarely."

Matt nodded. "My first pet was a hamster. She was called Vanilla. And then, Vanilla II, Vanilla III,... You get the point," he grinned.
"First time in love," he then reminded her of his next question. "Phew," she said, "guy in middle school. His name was Tom Lewis, and he's a successful man now. Back then I thought he was boring, so we ended," she said with a grin.

"Did you have your first time with him?"
Karma snickered. "God, no. Boat guy on vacation in the Caribbean. Wasn't too cool," she replied, then threw him a questioning look.

"My first girlfriend was called Linda. She has five kids now," he said. "And then I was with Val, and that was my first time. We were like, fourteen," he confessed.
Karma’s eyes were wide open. “Are you kidding me?“ She exclaimed, “I thought you guys were only dating for like a month before we met!“

Matt chuckled at the mentioning of his history with his now best friend. “Yeah, but I never said it was our first attempt at dating… Though I’ll admit it was the most successful one,“ he replied with a laugh.

“If three months was the most successful relationship you ever had…“ He smiled, then placed his lips on hers for a brief moment. “Then I guess I didn’t know I was relationship material before I met you,“ he replied honestly.
“I mean, after that you…“

“Yeah, I know. Shawna, Georgia, Sarah,“ he said, counting his failed relationships. If he was honest, they never meant too much to him. It was merely not to come home to an empty house.
“Oh my God, Shawna,“ Karma laughed, “I mean, Sarah was at least hot. But SHAWNA! Shawna was ugly AND dumb!“

Matt rolled his eyes. Of course she was right, but he hated that she made fun of him. “Shut the fuck up before I make you!“ He moaned, then playfully hit her arm.

“And do you not remember how often she said ‘like’,“ she continued, gasping for air because she was laughing so hard. Matt grinned evilly. He said he would make her stop. His fingers poked in between her ribs, then moved further up to tickle her under the arms.

Karma squirmed and cooed. She made the sweetest sounds and her attempts at kicking him were of course easily overpowered. “You don’t want me tickling you, huh?“ he hissed playfully, and Karma nodded breathlessly.

“Then don’t make fun of Matty!“ She let out an angry sound, then caught him unexpectedly. Her head shot up to his level before he could react, and suddenly, her lips were against his. Matt felt the old-familiar fire and desire, and his grip loosened as they kissed.
They pulled apart when they ran out of air. Both were grinning widely because it felt so good to finally be together.

“First time my heart was broken, you said, right?" She then asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence. Matt nodded. “Well, my next boyfriend after Tom was called Fabian. He was from... phew, Colombia I think. The guy cheated on me, and that kinda ... that hurt."
“I'm sorry..." Matt said.

“And you?"
“When we broke up, Karma. I was always the one to end it, and I was never sad about it. But honestly, with you..." He swallowed, realizing he had given away a huge part of him. And he could not demand it back.

“What did you think when you first saw me?“ Matt asked the first question that came into his mind. There was so much more to find out about Karma, and he couldn’t wait to. “Honestly? I kinda wanted to know how your sweet little pierced lip would feel against mine,“ she said, biting her lip.

Matt grinned. He knew he couldn’t have been the only one to sense the sexual tension back then. “Did we ever… I mean, before I took it out?“
“I think so, yeah. I… I think you took it out after that truth and dare thing,“ she replied, “But since we don’t even remember that I’m not sure it counts!“ She snickered. “What did you think back then?“

Suddenly, Matt was back in 2003. He saw her standing there at the lawyer’s office where Larry dragged him for some contract modifications. She was looking lost with a pile of papers in her hands, a black Pantera t-shirt underneath her cheap blazer and her outstanding aquamarine hair was wild, not up in a bun like the other secretaries’ hair.

Although she had sweet eyes and innocent facial features, Matt knew immediately that she was a rebel, and God, she was pretty.

Her eyes were cactus green, and her lips were so plump and sensual Matt had to restrict the urge to walk over and kiss her. It felt like in one of those girly movies Val regularly dragged him to when they were fifteen. Time was slowing down, and somehow he couldn’t make out what Larry or Mr. King were saying.

All that counted for him was that beautiful girl who was basically eye-fucking him already.

“The same, my love,“ he finally replied, and her lips curled into a content smile.

Notes