When I Was Your Man

She looked so beautiful in her casual red playsuit and the sunhat. Her long legs ended in white converses, with a little dirt so they didn't look so new. The sun was shining onto her silky blond hair as she stood on a small unpaved road in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by corn.

It was here, right? She seemed to be wondering. She looked around with her pretty green eyes, anxious he wouldn't come to where they were supposed to meet after all these years of war.

It was clearly visible in her eyes that she wanted so desperately for him to remember, and she was almost about to leave. She sighed, walking back to the car with a frown. She'd waited for too long.

Then, suddenly, you could hear footsteps. Slowly, she turned around, not wanting to look forward to a false alarm. But it was him. The one she'd been waiting for. She ran the short distance to where he stood, then flew into his arms.

Their lips joined in a joyful kiss, and then some soft string music started playing in the background as they slowly sunk into the corn fields, seemingly lost in their own world, a perfect world full of love, which was made for just the two of them.

And then the credits started to roll.

The people around Matt were getting up and slowly moved out of the theater, but Matt stayed seated as if he'd grown roots over the past one and a half hours. He couldn't leave, not before he saw it.

"Based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks", the broad letters on the screen informed Matt as if he didn't know already. If the guys knew I watched this chick flick they'd probably euthanize me, Matt thought with an amused smirk. And then there it was. It hit him like it always did, and always would.

Starring... Her name. Karma Strikes. His Medusa.

Matt didn't know why he found such a strange comfort in watching the woman he loved and lost be loved, lost and found again by someone else, but he did.

Maybe it was all that ease, that lack of complication that drew him to that movie, Road Back to Me. Maybe it was that Karma was playing the main part, or maybe the fact that, for the longest time, Matt wished for just that ending with her.

He didn't know why, but he knew that in some fucked up, twisted way it helped to soothe his mind. In the past four weeks, he'd gone to see it twelve times. All by himself. There was no woman in his life, at least no constant. He knew all the dialogues in the movie better than his own song lyrics. Alright, I'll admit... I suck at remembering lyrics... So that's not too hard.

He'd lost her a long time ago, and while he accepted that he had to take the consequences, it still hurt from time to time. Karma was the only woman he ever really loved. It was bound to hurt. Especially now, he thought, now that this stupid movie is out, and it's telling the exact story of what we could have been.

He let out a huff at the sight of his name. Ethan Montgomery was her co-star.
For all he knew, Karma was with that Ethan now. He was one of those blond totally ripped classical fuckboy actors, and it bothered Matt that he actually looked good and seemed to make Karma happy.

On the other hand, there were rumors that they were only dating to promote the film, which was not uncommon in the business after all. Matt clang to those rumors as if his life depended on it.

He never met him, and he didn't plan to, but he already knew he was his nemesis.
Matt realized he was the last one in the theater, so he hurriedly jumped to his feet and left the room, all while putting back on his sunglasses and pulling his hood into his face. He didn't feel like talking to anyone now, not when walking out of a chick flick with tears in his eyes, feeling vulnerable. Matt was surprised how the film was still moving him. It was good.

As he steered the car through the nightly streets in no particular direction, he thought about his life until then.

After Karma and him split, Matt went back to what he knew best, drugs and lots of sex. Then Jimmy died, and Matt went to rehab. He decided not to put his life on the line anymore, wanted to pull himself together.

It all felt unreal, like sobering up from a party that lasted over ten years. He was comfortably numb. He was not feeling anything for a long time, but at the same time uncertain how long he still had to prepare for that avalanche of feelings all coming down on him at the same time.

And then the hangover hit. And it hit hard. Matt cried and grieved over the loss of his best friend, but also realized that life as he knew it then had to cease. He wept also for all the memories the band had yet to make, knowing those would never be made.

During the recording process for Nightmare, which Jimmy had written pretty much alone, Matt and Karma's friendship reformed. It was nothing more than ever before. They talked, they acknowledged each other. It felt strange to pretend they didn't know all secrets of each other, to re-get to know each other.

But Matt respected that this was how she wanted it to go. Even if she didn't know everything about back then, he knew it was his fault they were where they were now. He was the one to cheat, after all. There was nothing he could do to color or justify it.

And then he had to break up, knowing he couldn't carry on after his side leap. Sometimes he wished he'd told her, knowing she thought it was all her fault. But it would have only upset her even more.

Karma joined them for a short tour, then that break of six months she'd allowed herself for Avenged and to grieve over Jimmy's loss was over already.

She flew to Europe to star in some episodes of a girly series called Pretty Little Liars, then recorded and produced her third solo album, A Common Thread. It sold platinum and she won countless awards, but Matt knew she wasn't fully in it. Metal was her heart and soul, but she always said shallow pop-rock music sold better. And she was right.

Karma Strikes was THE icon, the all-rounder, the modern day Madonna. Men wanted to be with her and women wanted to be like her. She'd always said she wanted to be famous. And then she was. Most followers on twitter, most sold album ever, most viewed music video on YouTube, you name it. She became everything she ever said she would.

Brian got married, then Zack did, then Johnny. And Matt was just kind of... there.

He wrote music, but it wasn't the same as with Karma and Jimmy. Even to Matt it sounded like a shitty Metallica rip-off. They half-heartedly recorded it just because they didn't have anything else and agreed to put out a new record. Karma flew in for one day, and in one session, all her vocals on the record were recorded.

They put the album out and it sold surprisingly well considering it was no-one's passion project. But then, apart from some irregular phone calls, radio silence.

Matt loved the guys, Karma included, and he loved the band. But they had gotten to a point where they all had to accept the bitter truth: Avenged Sevenfold was no more.

Notes

Hey guys, as promised I'm back with the sequel to On Tour. I hope you'll enjoy it as much. Please let me know what you think :)

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