Confession of a King

I had been three weeks since my last day at the prison, and to be honest, this whole stay-at-home mom thing wasn’t as exciting as I had hoped it would be. There was only so much cleaning I could do in the apartment. Only so much cooking I could do for the boys. Only so much shopping I could do before I ran my paychecks into the ground. Oh, about my paychecks, I take back how bad I felt about continuing to take the money for maternity leave. It was awesome getting paid for doing absolutely nothing, as if I was still working. Especially since I was still bringing in some money on the side with the online therapy… oh, and Matt’s money.

Matt, being himself, was worried about my income although I had explained to him over and over that I was still somewhat working, and collecting paid maternity leave. He wanted me to be able to go out shopping for myself, and our son, and therefore had Brian handing me a thousand dollars a week. I thought it was outrageous, but he didn’t want to hear it. Also, Matt was now even more in my business than before. If I could go three hours without a text message from him, it was a miracle these days. Calling him when I wake up and before bed, and having a half-healthy Zacky looking after me, just wasn’t enough for him to know that I was truly safe and sound.

Zacky was recovering well, and was fairly mobile, but couldn’t be off bed rest for elongated periods of time. Just a few hours here and there, and he would pop in a few times a week to just check in on me, and have whatever I cooked for dinner. Brian was insanely busy now that the date of Matt’s trial was getting closer and closer, and also trying to keep Avenged together. Christ was, well, out of the picture right now. Supposedly Matt and him had some words after the interaction I had with him. Matt ordered him to leave me alone unless something was pertinent, which I appreciated because I really didn’t like the short, little asshole to begin with.

I sighed putting the remaining dishes away, closing the cabinets and dishwasher when I was done. This was boring. I had a little over three months to go until I would have the kid to keep me occupied, and just about four and a half months until Matt would be free, fingers crossed. I grabbed Shadow’s water bowl and refilled it in the sink, then placed it back on the floor. I squatted down, my belly now starting to rest on my legs in this position, and scratched behind the black cats ears.

“You are such a good boy. Mommy loves you very much. You better be a good big brother to Shadows Jr,” I talked in baby-talk to the cat who was most likely ignoring me, just grateful that I was scratching him behind his ears. “Mommy should probably look for a two bedroom apartment, huh?” I said, more to myself.

It had almost slipped my mind that I would need another bedroom for the little guy in my belly. I was on a month-to-month lease now, so I would be able to get out of it as long as I gave my landlord notice. I made a mental note to look up places online, or to ask my landlord if he had a two bedroom available in this building. Maybe Matt’s extra money would actually come in handy.

I stood up from my spot and straightened out my shirt. I was now wearing more form-fitting clothing since my pregnancy was no longer a secret I was trying to hide. I was happy to be sporting my belly, even if I got stares from older women in public because they thought I was sixteen and pregnant. I slipped on my flip flops, then grabbed my purse and keys. I headed out the door and toward Target, needing to get a few things for the apartment and my growing gremlin.

I got into my car, noticing a matte-black BMW in the parking lot. I waved to it, but the tinted windows didn’t allow me to see who was inside. I figured it had to have been either Zacky or Brian, and shrugged it off. I cut on my engine and started down the road, dialing Matt’s number and holding the phone up to my ear.

“I’ll call you back,” Matt said gruffly into the phone and hung up immediately.

I frowned at the second long phone call and tossed my phone into the passenger seat. He must’ve either been about to be pulled out of his cell by guards, or was on the line with one of the guys. At least I hoped it would be something of that sort and not that he was being an ass. Pregnancy hormones, Ivy, I though to myself. No need to get mad at him for being busy. He’s in prison, after all, and shouldn’t even have a cellphone.

I pulled into the Target parking lot and got out of my car, closing the door behind me and looking around. That matte-black BMW didn’t follow me here, which was semi-strange, seeing as usually the guys followed my every move when they were watching me. Maybe Zacky decided to just head back home? Oh well, I thought. I walked into the store and grabbed a cart, starting off toward the baby section, then made my way through the rest of the store. You know how when you and your friends were sixteen and would go shopping together and be out for hours? That’s how I was in Target. It was like you get sucked into Narnia, and spent three hours there and about two hundred dollars, when you really only went in for five things that cost under fifty.

Getting into the check-out line, I groaned to myself seeing that all of the self-checkout registers were closed. Not that I was the most impatient person in the world, but it was always my luck that the line I chose had the mother with three kids and a cart full of shit. I always said that wouldn’t be me, but most likely in a few years, it would.

I felt someone’s hand touch my shoulder and I turned around to come face-to-face with Chelsea, “What are you doing off of work?” I laughed, taking in her appearance of her in sweats, a hoodie and her hair up in a messy bun. She was usually all dolled up.

“Called in sick,” she giggled. “Brian was at my house until about ten minutes ago. He said Matt called him with some work business and would be back in a bit, so I decided that I’d be a nice girlfriend and get stuff to make him lunch.”

“You’re so sweet,” I rolled my eyes and smiled at the young boy at the register who greeted me. “Matt cut me off when I called him, must be important.”

Chelsea nodded, “Seemed like it the way Brian kind of jumped out of bed. He said Zacky wasn’t able to go because he was still on bedrest. I guess he stayed up watching your apartment last night and had been dead asleep since eight this morning.”

My face dropped, “Zacky was home at eight? There was one of their cars at my apartment when I left a couple hours ago. It’s noon.”

“Christ?” Chelsea said, sounding hopeful. “Look, I gotta go get shit for Brian. I’ll call you later on, maybe we can do a movie night tonight?”

“Okay,” I mumbled as she ran off down the store. I turned to look at the young kid at the register, him picking up on my confusion and awkwardness, he gave me a sad smile. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” he replied, his name tag reading Kyle.

“Are you still in school?” I asked, while grabbing the filled bags and putting them in my cart.

He frowned, “I dropped out. I work here part time and part time at a coffee shop.”

I nodded, “Why’d you drop out?”

“Times got hard and my mom needed someone to help out with bills around the house. She doesn’t make much money because she got laid off from her old job, and has no college degree. She makes minimum wage, and so do I. It didn’t make sense for me to stay in school when she needed my help at home,” he answered, honestly, that frown still on his face. “Your total is two-hundred and fifty seven dollars and thirty three cents.”

I swiped my card, paying for it directly out of my bank account, then grabbed a thousand dollars in cash out of my wallet. I placed it in Kyle’s hand when he handed me my receipt. He looked at me dumbfounded and I gave him a sad smile, “This should help you and your mom out a little bit. I think she would be proud of you if you finished up high school, and went on to college. They have a lot of scholarships and programs that can help you, and your mom, too. Take care, Kyle.”

“Thank you so much,” he stumbled over his words, staring at the cold-hard cash in his hands. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

I smiled at the young kid and put the rest of the bags in my cart, then walked out the store. Matt didn’t exactly give me the money to do something for someone else, but so be it. If a gang leaders money went toward a good cause, then it went toward a good cause. I felt for kids who were in struggling situations like that. It wasn’t easy being a teenager even if you didn’t have to worry about bringing bread to the table. I knew Matt almost hadn’t finished high school either because he got so wrapped up in the gang world and how much money he could make without any education. He should be proud of me for putting a kid back in school. Speaking of that asshole, he hadn’t called me back yet, and my blood was pretty much boiling over it. Maybe that’s why I did the good deed, because I needed something to calm me the fuck down since my baby daddy wasn’t acting appropriately.

He was going to get it when I saw him next week for visitation day. I hadn’t seen him since that last day since I didn’t want to make things seem sketchy right away, but next week will be one month since I last got to touch him, and it was more than enough time to pass. I had let Sandy know that I would be visiting Matt regularly, and possibly even Jimmy, because I missed Jimmy and needed someone as an accomplice in not letting Mr. Morgan know I’m pregnant with Matt’s baby. They probably wouldn’t allow Matt and I to be in a room alone together without him being restrained, or a guard in the room. That was frustrating, but we would see what the deal was once next week came about.

I put all of the bags in my trunk and guided my cart over to the cart return. I cut my engine back on and drove in the direction of the apartment, but not without stopping at McDonald’s first. I knew that I was supposed to be healthy and try to surpass my cravings, but there was nothing in this world I wanted more right now than a Quarter Pounder and a M&M McFlurry. At least I cut out the fries, I told myself. That was a pretty big step for Ivy to not order french fries.

I scarfed my food down on the short drive back to my apartment building. I noticed that there was no BMW here this time, so Christ must’ve left whenever I left. I grabbed a couple of Target bags and headed for my door, knowing I would have to make a couple of trips to collect all the things.

Once I got to my apartment I noticed that my door was slightly opened, and I dropped the bags at my feet. I muttered “what the fuck” to myself, swearing that I closed the door when I left. Brian had a key, but Brian wouldn’t have left it open, would he? He was doing something for Matt business related, anyway. I pushed the door open and stepped into my living room, my heart dropped into my stomach at the scene in front of me. I let out a blood-curdling scream as my eyes filled with tears. I grasped my belly, trying to remind myself not to let my blood pressure go up too high. Someone was fucking in here while I was gone. That wasn’t Christ in the parking lot. That was someone else.

The scene in front of me played out on my kitchen counter, directly across from the front door. They did it on purpose, in this spot, knowing that it would be the first thing I saw. There Shadow laid lifeless, slashed open in the abdomen, his digestive organs ripped from his body and strewn around it. A note laid on top of his head. I tried my best not to gag as I sobbed over his dead body, reading the note out-loud to myself, “Tell Shadows I said hello.”

He was in here. I needed to get out of here. I turned on my heel and darted for the door, slamming it behind myself and running back out to my car. Shadow’s blood was on my hands as I dialed Matt’s number, frantically screaming into the phone when he answered.

“I said I would…”

“HE WAS IN MY FUCKING APARTMENT!” I screamed out between tears, not caring that he needed to call me back once again.

“Who? What are you talking about?” Matt said, oblivious.

“He gutted Shadow…” I felt my stomach start to turn.

“Where are you now?” He asked, his voice slightly fearful.

I stared at my reflection in my rear-view mirror, trying to calm my breathing, “I’m in my car. I don’t know what to do.”

“Stay in the fucking car,” he snapped, his voice now strong, commanding. “Keep the doors locked until the guys show up. I am going to call Brian then will call you right back.”

I let out a shaky breath, “Matt, I’m scared.”

“I know, honey,” he sighed. “I love you. Give me two minutes.”

Notes