Confession of a King

Breathe, Ivy, breathe. I repeated to myself over and over as I walked around my apartment, pacing back and forth. I looked at Shadow, sound asleep on my couch and sighed with a smile. What I would give to be a cat right now. My alarm went off, signaling that it was time for me to leave. Where the fuck is Brian? Why was he late? I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to keep my composure.

“Sorry I’m late,” Brian’s voice sounded from my living room, the sound of the front door closing behind him. “Where are we going?”

“Doctor’s office. I can’t do this alone,” I muttered and grabbed my purse and my work bag, throwing them both over my shoulder. I intertwined my arm in Brian’s and pulled him out the front door with me. “Zacky isn’t following us, right?”

Brian rolled his eyes, “You know, of all people to tell, you should probably relay the information to Mr. Vengeance so that he can ensure a watchful eye on you and baby Shadows.”

I cut my eyes at him, getting into my car, “Call it baby Shadows one more time and I will murder you myself. Just follow my car. I will see you in ten.”

Brian laughed and nodded, getting into his own car behind mine. I looked around the parking lot and didn’t see Zacky’s car, feeling a hint of relief wash over me. Zacky had picked me up from the airport two days ago and seemed to be back to his normal self. Didn’t ask me any questions. No hugs. Didn’t ask why I came home early. I was thankful for it. I called Brian as soon as I entered my apartment, asking him to come over. I knew that if I was going to confide in someone about being pregnant, it was him. I had also told him about Matt and I’s argument, and he advised me that it probably wasn’t best to tell Matt about the baby the first day we saw each other, but he wanted me to tell him sooner rather than later, and that I needed to drop the L word before Matt’s head exploded.

Brian escorted me out of my car and into the office of my OBGYN, his arm linked in mine again and a hopeful smile on his face. “Let’s take a look at little Shadows.”

“I swear to god,” I grumbled at him as he grinned at me.

“Ms. Miada?” A young girl, probably around my age, spoke from the doorway to the back. My eyes met hers and she smiled, “Follow me.”

Brian gave me a look as to what I wanted him to do, and I shot him a nasty glare as I stood up. He stood up right after me and followed me into the back.

“My name is Morgan,” the girl smiled. “Let’s take a look at that belly.”

I leaned back into the chair and exposed my stomach to her, Brian’s eyes immediately locking onto the baby bump. The cold, ultrasound gel was placed on my stomach and she held the probe up to get a look at the little hellion that was now residing inside of me.

“Right there,” she pointed on the screen while holding the probe against my stomach. “That’s your little one. You’re almost done with your third month, just a few more days and you will enter your second trimester. They’re about the size of a plum.”

“Holy shit,” I mumbled, looking at the screen.

Brian’s eyes were wide and glued to the screen. I’m sure he was in even more disbelief than I was. I cleared my throat and he turned his focus to me, smiling at me. “I wonder if it’s going to look like you or Matt.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m not worried about who it’s going to look like right now, dumbass.”

Morgan laughed, “Not the father?”

I shook my head, “No, he couldn’t make it, so this is his best friend.”

She smiled at Brian, “That’s really nice of you to come along.” He flashed her a flirty smile and I rolled my eyes again. She turned to face me, “So, you will notice that you are going to be battling less morning sickness, but getting way more cravings. Make sure you are eating healthy and staying hydrated. It’s going to be hard to eat healthy when you’re craving everything, but just try your best. No alcohol, try to cut down on caffeine.” Morgan let out a small giggle, “I’ll have some paperwork ready for you to take home on what to expect, but you should make an appointment to be back in here around this time next month. By that time we may be able to determine if you are having a boy or a girl.”

She wiped the ultrasound gel off of my stomach and helped me down from the chair. I grabbed my paperwork and made my next appointment, then exited the building. Brian kept making jokes about baby Shadows, and I could tell that he was actually strangely excited over the idea of Matt and I having a baby. I bid him farewell and headed towards work, grabbing a bagel with cream cheese and an iced tea on my way.

When I walked into the prison, my eyes met Sandy’s and she gave me a sad smile. I paused and smiled, knowing that she was following protocol last time I saw her. She did what she had to do. She was supposed to sedate Matt. She knew how to follow the rules of her job. I didn’t. Obviously. I was embarrassed over the entire situation, but that was the past and I couldn’t hold a grudge for her sedating him. I was scared for my life after all.

“Hey,” I smiled softly while speaking. “How have things been?”

“Kind of quiet,” she laughed lightly. “How was your family vacation?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Not as great as I thought. Kind of happier to be back at work, as horrible as that sounds.”

Sandy nodded then frowned, “Hey, I want to apologize for what happened a couple weeks ago. I don’t know what is going on with you and Shadows, but I want you to be careful. I’m sorry you went through that and had to be in the room when we did that.”

I frowned, looking at the floor, then looked back up at her with a half smile. “I completely understand. You were doing your job. You don’t need to apologize, because I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come into the room. Thank you for looking out. I appreciate that.”

She pulled me in for a hug, “You’re a tough cookie, Miada.” She then held me away from her at arms length, “Everyone’s talking, though. He’s being restrained from now on, ankles and wrists. You can’t fight this one.”

I closed my eyes for a second and sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, “Ankles? Really? What does that even do?”

“Mr. Morgan’s orders,” Sandy frowned. “I don’t make the rules. But hey, he’s your only one today, so maybe you can talk things through with him.”

“What about Jimmy Sullivan?” I looked at her, confused.

“Solitary. Tried to bite someone while you were gone. He should be out by next week.” I nodded and took a deep breath. She must’ve noticed how bothered I was and she gave me another sad smile. “Hang in there.”

“Thanks,” I smiled and pulled myself from her grip.

I walked down to my office and unlocked the door, closing it again behind myself once entering. I looked at my office and frowned. I hadn’t really cleaned it up since Matt and I got into it last time I was in here. There was a pretty big hole in the wall behind my desk from his fist. My chair was pushed out from under my desk, into a bookcase. Everything that was usually nicely organized on my desk was all over the place. Since I came in late and Matt was my only responsibility today, I took the time to clean up my office. I put everything back where it needed to be, hung a picture over the spot that Matt punched the drywall in, and actually wiped down a bunch of surfaces.

I knew that now that I was pregnant I was going to have to try my best to not get sick, so if that meant constantly wiping down surfaces and cleaning everything, I was going to do it. Regardless if this baby came from Matt or Jesus, I didn’t want to lose it or screw up something else. After cleaning, I pulled up my laptop and grabbed a tupperware of cut up watermelon, eating the sugary goodness while catching up on all of my work e-mails from the last eight days.

There it was, the e-mail from Mr. Morgan regarding the situation between Matt and myself. He wanted me to type up an incident report for him so that he could file it away, and probably use it against Matt in the future. Yeah right, I mumbled to myself. I was just going to act like I didn’t see it. I might get into trouble for that later, but whatever. Shadows was scary, but somehow he had snapped back into Matt mode, and I wasn’t going to let this bite him in the ass more than it already was. I needed him out. This kid needed a father, even more so if it wasn’t going to have any extended family.

My door opened up and in came Ken and Billy, Matt between the two of them, cuffs on his wrists and his head hanging low. They forced him into his old, usual spot, across from desk. The spot he used to sit in before all of our sessions turned into him on top of or underneath me. His ankles were shackled to the chair and he didn’t say anything. They took the cuffs off of him and placed his wrists in the restraints on the arms of the chair. Both officers looked from Matt to me, then walked out of the room without saying a word.

Matt lifted his head and his eyes met mine. I could see that he wanted to say something, his eyes soft and he was chewing on the inside of his cheek.

I closed my laptop and rested my elbows on my desk, holding my chin up with my fists, “I hate seeing you chained up.”

He smiled softly, his dimples slightly indenting, “We both knew this was coming.”

“I missed you,” I said quietly, watching his eyes light up. “Don’t get too excited.”

He grinned this time, his dimples deep now, “I missed you too. Come give me a kiss?” I stood up from my chair and walked around the desk, resting my butt on the edge of it and leaning forward toward Matt. I pressed my lips to his softly and he let out a low groan. “Why do you taste like watermelon?”

“Because I was eating it, you weirdo,” I laughed at his stupid question. I grabbed the tupperware of it and held it to him, “Open your mouth.” I popped one piece in his mouth and he ate it, then opened it back up for more. “No, you only get one.”

“One more,” he pouted.

“No,” I smiled and wiggled my eyebrows at him. “All for me.”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re lucky I’m stuck in this chair.”

“Am I?” I raised an eyebrow.

He nodded furiously then stopped, laughing at himself. “You never told me why you came home early.”

I frowned and sat back on my desk, kicking my feet up and onto his lap. I sighed, “Got into it with my brother. Let’s just say my entire family is not happy with me right now, so my best bet was just to come home and get away from them.”

“What happened?” he frowned. “It doesn’t have to do with your dad, right?”

“No. It has to do with you,” I laughed and pointed my fork at him. “My cousin was pissing me off and kept calling me fat… saying I’d never get a boyfriend. Then I accidentally slipped up saying that I was seeing someone and my whole family ganged up on me asking questions. Then my brother confronted me and it just came out. Let’s just say he screamed at me loud enough that my whole family now knows that I’m romantically involved with Shadows.”

“Where the fuck are you fat? Is she a fucking moron?” Matt sneered and I snickered at him getting defensive over me. “She’s a bitch. I don’t like her and I don’t even know her. And your brother fucking sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” I giggled at his anger. “I wish you could see your face right now.”

He glared at me, his face red, “That pisses me off! It’s not even your brother thing. Like why the fuck would someone call you, of all people, fat?”

“Matt, it’s not a big deal,” I laughed and nudged him with my foot. “Stop being so sensitive over me. Teddy bear.”

“I’m sorry your family is mad at you because they hate me. I’m not that bad of a guy,” Matt scoffed.

I leaned down and kissed his cheek, “I know, Matty. But, my brother also told everyone that you gutted someone. So I don’t think that they’re going to accept that you aren’t that bad of a guy.”

“That’s so annoying,” he grumbled like a teenage girl. “It was one person.”

I couldn’t contain my laughter about his attitude, “Oh, stop. I don’t care what they think about you or us. I love you so it is what it is.”

“You what?” Matt squealed, his gruff voice almost cracking. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Matthew,” I grinned at him.

“Again,” he demanded, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

“I love you. Not saying it again.”

“One more time,” he pleaded.

I rolled my eyes, “I love you, idiot.”

I kissed him on the lips once more. When I pulled away he was still grinning, “I love you, too. This is the best day of my life.”

“So, about that bipolar medication…” I chuckled and pinched his cheek, my thumb sinking into his dimple. The grin still not leaving his face, “Come on, it’s not that exciting.”

He rolled his eyes, “And you would think that the murderer, gang leader, Shadows, would be the one that was less excited over this. You are more heartless than me.”

“You are such a hopeless romantic, it makes me sick,” I laughed and smacked him lightly. “Now, can we get some work done so that I can get you out of here? I’d like to be able to love you in my bed, so the sooner we can get all this done, the sooner you’re a free man.”

He nodded and I got up from my spot, walking back to my chair across from him, ready to press the record button. “I love you, Ivy.”

I rolled my eyes, “I love you too, Matt.”

Notes