”Come here you fucking bitch.”

My back slammed against the wall, his hand was around my throat and holding with such a force that my feet had to have been at least a foot off the ground. I choked back my own tears as his fell freely.

“Do you not understand what I said from the beginning? Are you that fucking stupid?” His grip tightened on my throat, his left hand punching the wall next to me, “You’re mine. I own you. You answer to me and do as I fucking tell you.” He looked broken, ready to snap any minute. His grip loosened, but he still held me agains the wall under my chin, then rested his forehead on mine and looked at me through tear-filled eyes and blurred vision, “I can’t lose you. I won’t.”

“Matt, let go of me, please,” I pleaded, still trying to fight my tears back. As soon as his hand fell from my neck I cocked my fist back and punched him square in the jaw.

He stumbled back into my desk and stared at me in shock for a second, then got back up and slammed me against the wall again, “You’re out of your mind, little girl.” His hazel eyes darkened and I was truly terrified. There went Matt. This was Shadows. “Do you want to die, Ivy?” He threw me onto my desk harshly, then grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me up to meet his gaze.

The door to my office flew open and I heard Sandy’s voice scream for him to get his hands off of me. Matt’s hand disappeared from my shirt and I let out a deep, shaky breath. He stood with his back against my wall, his hands in the air, his eyes back to the soft hazel I’ve grown to adore.

His eyes were filling up again and his bottom lip was quivering, “I didn’t mean to. Ivy, I didn’t fucking mean to.” Keith walked over and tried to get the cuffs on Matt, but Matt tried to fight him off, “Get the fuck off of me.”

Finally catching my breath I was able to speak, still leaning against my desk and taking in what was going on, “Don’t hurt him.”

“You stay out of this,” Keith muttered at me as he continued to try to get the cuffs on Matt, failing at it. “Stand the fuck still, Shadows.”

“Get off of me. Let me talk to her,” Matt whined, thrashing in Keith’s arms.

I saw Sandy pull a needle out of her pocket and pop the cap off. Keith pushed Matt hard against the wall, straining Matt’s neck. “You can’t sit like a good boy and get your cuffs on then you’re getting knocked out,” Sandy barked at him as she pushed the needle into his neck, injecting the sedative into his blood stream.

Matt let out a growl at the feeling as his body started to give up fighting. Keith got the cuffs on him and began pulling him out of my office.

“I’m so sorry… I love you, Ivy.”

I woke up from my nap with a scream, sweat dripping down my body. It had been four days since the incident with Matt in my office and I was over the recurring flashbacks. They had been coming piece by piece, but this time it was almost the whole thing. I didn’t need this stress, not with this little human growing inside of me. We needed to have a talk when I got back to work, that is, if Mr. Morgan even allowed Matt back into my office after the show we put on. I rubbed my face a couple of times before deciding to get out of bed. I sat up and grabbed my phone, seeing that it was about five in the afternoon… I had napped for three hours… my family probably thought I was dead. I grabbed my phone and contemplated texting Matt to tell him I missed him, but decided against it. I told him I wouldn’t talk to him until I was back in California, and I didn’t want to seem weak, even though I was.

I changed out of my sweats and into a pair of jeans and a flowy tank top, then tossed my now-tangled hair up into a messy bun. I slid on a pair of flip flops and made my way down the steps and into the living room of the beach house. The smell of food filled my nostrils and I took a deep breath, smiling.

I made a quick turn into the kitchen and peeked over my mom’s shoulder as she stood at the stove, “What are you making?”

“Scallops, mussels and crab linguine,” she said before ushering me away from the stove. “And you can’t have any until dinner is ready. Don’t even think about asking your aunt for a bite of salad yet.”

I frowned and looked over at my aunt who was cutting up leafy greens for the salad. She shook her head and wagged her knife at me while I stuck my bottom lip out, pouting because I was hungry. “Come on, I need something to eat I’ve been sleeping for hours!”

“Who told you to sleep all day?” My mom laughed and bumped her hip with mine, “There are cut up veggies and dip in the fridge. Help yourself and ask your brother and cousins if they would like some as well.”

I nodded and reached into the refrigerator, grabbing the tray and walking into the living room. Three of my cousins were sitting around with Andrew. I placed the tray down on the coffee table and took a seat on the floor in front of everyone, quickly digging in.

“Look who’s awake and starving!” Andrew laughed, “Have a good sleep?”

I shrugged and popped a carrot into my mouth, “Where’s everyone else?”

“Beach. They’ll be here soon once dinner is ready,” my cousin, Amanda spoke while eying me. “I’ve never seen you stuff your face so fast.”

I finished chewing what was in my mouth and reached for another veggie, but stopped myself realizing that it was obvious I was pigging out. I placed my hand in my lap and looked up at her, then at Andrew who shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t eat lunch since I was sleeping, so I’m pretty hungry.”

“You ate pretty ravenous at breakfast, too. I’d watch it before you get fat,” Amanda sat back into the couch with a smirk on her face. I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of my cousin. She was the same age as me and for some reason always felt like we were in competition against each other. She had announced to everyone last night that she was now in a committed relationship AND was going back to graduate school. My family was so impressed with her… I wanted to vomit.

“I’m fairly certain that vegetables aren’t going to make me fat, Mandy” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m just saying, portion control is key to being thin, Ivy. How are you ever going to find love if you can’t keep your weight off?” She said while flipping her bleached hair behind her shoulder.

“Actually, I have found love, and I’m fairly certain that he would love me whether I was 120 pounds or 220. Worry about your damn self,” I snapped at her.

“Ivy! Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend!” My aunt squealed while standing in the doorway from the kitchen to the living room.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, I mumbled to myself, low enough that only I could hear it. What are you doing, Ivy? I smiled awkwardly and scratched behind my ear, “Surprise?”

“You’re going to have to tell us all about him at dinner!” My aunt grinned at me and walked back into the kitchen.

I sat in silence eating my vegetables feeling Andrew’s eyes on me. Amanda had shut herself up since I had snapped on her. I tried to wrap my head around how the hell I was going to get out of this, but the half hour until dinner went by way too quickly and I soon found myself sitting at the elongated table outside with my mom across from me, brother next to me, and all of my other family members… six cousins, two aunts, two uncles and my grandparents, at the table.

I twirled the noodles onto my fork and tried to force myself to eat, now growing nervous about this entire situation. Andrew would know if I was lying since I had told him previously that it was a complicated situation that he would not understand. I just hoped he wouldn’t accidentally, or on purpose, tell everyone that there was a little human growing in my belly. The conversation at dinner floated around what everyone did during the day, and what we were going to do for our last two days together.

Then, my Aunt Mary’s voice spoke up again, “So, Ivy, tell us all about your boyfriend.”

I dropped my fork and placed my hands in my lap, clawing at my jeans while trying to figure out what to say. Nothing I could come up with sounded good. Fuck. I put on a fake smile, “His name is Matt. I met him through work.”

Instantly all of the questions started filtering in from my grandma, mom, aunts and two younger female cousins… Is he cute? What does he look like? What does he do? Is he a cop? Do you have a picture of him? What’s his last name? How long have you been together?

I let out an awkward laugh, “Hold it with all the questions, please. He’s very handsome. I don’t have a photo. He’s tall and has pretty hazel eyes and short, dark hair. We’ve been together for about four months.”

“Last name?” My uncle looked at me with an eyebrow raised, playing the protective father card.

“I don’t think you guys need that bit of information until I know it’s a little more serious. I don’t need anyone scaring him away,” I smiled at my uncle who smiled back at me, seeming to understand what I was saying.

“So what does Matt do?” My mom smiled at me. “I’m so glad you have finally found a real boyfriend. Ivy, this is huge.”

I ran my hands through my hair, pulling it out of the bun it was in. “I can’t say what he does. His job is pretty confidential. I don’t even know all of the details. No more questions, please. This is really awkward for me.”

My mom just smiled and said okay, and we all ate the remainder of our meals. My brother, cousins and I volunteered to clean up the table while the “adults” set up for us to watch a movie together. Andrew was standing to the left of me as I washed the dishes, and handed them to him to put on the drying rack. My other cousins had finished putting all the leftovers in the refrigerator and were now joining our parents and grandparents in the living room, bringing out snacks for the movie.

Andrew spoke up, “What are you hiding, Ivy?”

I refused to look up and meet eye-to-eye with my brother as I continued washing the dishes, “I’m not, Drew.”

“His job is confidential?” Andrew let out a laugh, “Won’t give a last name.”

“Drop it,” I sighed and handed the final dish to him. “You’re on the other side of the country from me. Keep your nose out of my business unless I put you in it.”

“I would at least like to have some type of details about this guy if you’re having his baby,” he put the dish down and leaned onto the counter, forcing me to make eye contact with him. “Who is he?”

I bit my lip, fighting tears in my eyes, “You won’t understand. None of you will.”

“He doesn’t work for the prison, does he?”

“No, he doesn’t,” I leaned against the counter and put my head in my hands, feeling tears fall down my cheeks.

“Are you really dating this guy or did he force himself on you?” my brother’s voice sounded concerned.

“No! He would never!” I shot up from my hands, “It’s just really complicated, okay? You would never understand because of his reputation.”

“Ivy, what is this guys last name?” Andrew looked down at me, tired of my crying and darting from the answers.

My brother had gone to the same college as me, out in California. Once my dad got sick two years ago, my brother and his girlfriend moved back to the east coast to be near him, and I knew that if he knew Matt’s last name it would hit him instantly who he was. Everyone knew his name in the state of California. Especially because we lived so close to the area that Avenged Sevenfold dominated.

I sighed and took a deep breath, knowing I was about to get myself into some serious shit. “Sanders, Drew. Matt Sanders.”

My brother’s eyes widened and he took a step away from me, looking at me like I had three heads. “You have got to be kidding me. That’s your boyfriend? The father of your child? Are you out of your mind!”

“You know, I’m really fucking sick and tired of hearing that I’m out of my mind!” I screamed at him. “This is why I said you weren’t going to fucking understand!”

“He’s a fucking pig! He’s in for murder! Gutted someone and is head of that fucking gang that runs all of Orange County! A criminal, Ivy. A fucking criminal. I can’t believe you,” my brother snarled at me.

“What the hell is going on in here?” My mom’s voice sounded from the doorway.

“Your daughter is having a murderous, gang lord’s child,” Andrew sneered.

My mom stood shocked, “What! Ivy, is this true? You’re pregnant?”

“I’m going back to California,” I muttered and walked away from my brother, brushing past my mom and up the stairs. I called a cab for the airport and gathered my belongings. My entire family stared at me in disbelief as I walked out of the beach house and got into the cab, not even looking back at them. Tears filled my eyes, realizing how crazy my life had become within the past year. I didn’t blame them for being disappointed in me, I understood it. But, this was my life now, and it was with Matt and this baby, and that was it.

When I got to the airport I purchased the first flight back to Orange County that I could find. It was leaving in the next fifty minutes. I slumped into one of the seats, searching my phone for Zacky’s number. I sent him a text saying I would need him to pick me up from the airport in about five and a half hours. He just answered saying okay, didn’t ask why. I then swallowed my pride and dialed the number of my criminal baby daddy to tell him I was on my way home to him.

Notes