My Bloody Idiot

„So what’s the game plan?” I questioned as I lazily paged through an issue of Metal Hammer. We had moved up to my room since Saint was on a goddamn mission to make us both the slutiest sluts with a dash of glam to walk the streets of Huntington Beach. She had armed herself with a curling iron and my best guess was that she was burning my hair off completely. I did in fact realize I’ll have to make an appointment with my awesome russian hairstylist Tatyana after Saint will be done with me. „We get all dolled up, we raid my mum’s closet and then what? I’m not staying at that party without booze you know,” I raised my eyes from the magazine and looked at Saint through the mirror.

„There’s gonna be booze...” She said as she twirled a strand of my pink hair around the iron.

„I thought you said—„

„I’ll rephrase that – there’s gonna be booze for us.” She smiled reasuringly and for once she had surprised me in a good kind of way. She put down the curling iron and just then I took a long glance over myself. Goddamn... I didn’t look completely atrocious, I.. I kinda even looked good. I’d do me. Saint truly was a little box filled with big surprises.

„You know... You don’t completely suck at this...” I mused as I leaned closer to the mirror to inspect my face. I applaud her skills to make me look like a decent human being and make my wrinkles less visible. Should really get some botox or some fillers... whatever they used to completely paralyze your face would go just fine with me.

„You’re too kind, Vex.” She replied sarcastically, before taking the hairspray from the toilet-table and choking me with the toxicity. „So now we go and steal your mom’s clothes?”

„Probably. I haven’t been shopping yet, so...” And just like that – right on cue I heard the tv switch on at the room right across the hall from mine. „Mum!” I yelled, ‘cause walking ten steps really was too much for my old arse. The bed creaked and it sounded like someone particular landed on their ass right on the floor. „Mother!”

„There’s no need to yell, I heard you the first time,” My lovely mum appeared in the doorway, letting out a big yawn. „Oh hey Ariel.”

„Hi, Jude.” Saint smiled at her over her shoulder.

„What are you girls up to?” Mum crossed her arms over her wool cardigan as she leaned against the door isle. Her eyes dropped to her wristwatch. „A little early to put the war paint on...”

„We’re having a party,” Saint replied as her hand went to pick up her rum and coke. My mum raised an eyebrow. No mother, we’re not gonna trash your house, we’re obviously gonna trash the place next door. „I’ll rephrase that, Matt and I are having a party even tho we’re not talking...”

„You’re not talking?” No mother, don’t pull the subject from the dirt I just buried it in. Let it rest in peace.

„You wanna come?” I piped in, hoping Saint wouldn’t start her rant from the very top. Mum’s face grimaced in disgust. And this is where she’ll swear she’ll never drink a single drop of liquor ever again. Just watch.

„I’m never drinking again...” What did I tell you? „No, no... I’m gonna stay here with Jameson and we’re gonna have a Lucifer marathon.” Her eyes landed on the little Siamese asshole who most probably had been breaking shit while my mum was having her hangover nap. I had brought that little douchebag home eight years ago. If he hadn’t been so cute, he’d most likely would be singing in a choir at some pet shelter.

„Then you wouldn’t mind us borrowing some of your clothes?” I wiggled my eyebrows as Saint fixed her false lashes.

„I see you already wearing my pants,” She rolled her eyes and picked up the little furball. „Just don’t touch the fur.”

After a half an hour, we walked through the front door of Matt’s house ready for what it seemed to be World War III. I didn’t know who Saint was trying to impress, knowing she and Sanders had been together for over two years, but picking out a crop top and some ridiculously short shorts meant she was in fact trying to impress someone. That crazy blonde tried to talk me in to my mum’s remodeled wedding dress who was as tight as a glove and as short as a shirt, but I simply wasn’t riding the crazy train today.

Right as we walked through that dark front door, it felt like we had walked in to a set of the Project X. I threw a glare at Saint with a single phrase mirroring in my face ‘you were saying?’ Everyone seemed to be having a glass in their hand and this was very far from being a simple barbecue party.

„What the hell is going on here?” I whispered right as a chick in her underwear jogged right past us. Saint looked exactly how I felt. Lost. Confused. Starting to get real pissed.

„This looks like a fucking frat party...” Saint frowned, seeing a guy with two girls at each side heading upstairs. Quite frankly, it amused me. I just didn’t get how we didn’t hear the loud music when we were getting ready at my place. „And who’s gonna fucking clean that?” Saint raged as she pointed to something I wasn’t too interested in. Instead my attention concentrated on a couple chit-chatting away just a couple of feet from us.

„What is she doing here?” I frowned as my eyes dropped on Jennifer.

„Who?” Saint asked jerking a bottle of Bacardi out of some kids hands. I hoped to God everyone was legal here tonight.

„Jennifer. The chick I’m producing!” I cried out, pointing to the brunette in a very tight dress. I should’ve wore mum’s fucking wedding dress... „And what is he doing with her?!”

„Well... from where I’m standing, it looks like the two are getting really cozy,” Saint nudged my side with a stupid smirk on her face, before she drowned her self in ridiculous amounts of rum.

„I need a drink...”

„Rum?” She offered me the liquor she loved more than probably she did Matt.

„I don’t drink that shit,” I grimaced in disgust, „I’m gonna go booze hunting, don’t get caught in a menage-a-trois or something...”

Good ten minutes passed and I still hadn’t laid my hands on something better than that Budweiser piss-water or some disgusting vodka. What did it take for a girl to get a drink around the place? I knew Sanders had at least a bottle of whiskey somewhere, but where...

As I walked around the house, it was a tad hard to wrap my head around everything going on. I didn’t know the majority of people I met here and if I had known there would be this many annoying human beings, I would’ve never come.

„Riles!” I heard a voice call my name from the patio. Oh look at that, I’ve found Sanders. I pushed my hands in the pockets of my leather pants as I walked over to him. „You look lost, are you looking for something?”

„Yeah,” I sighed as he got up from his chair and hugged me, „A bottle of Scotch would be nice. You’ve put them in a safe or something? What’s the deal, where’s the good booze?”

He frowned for a slight moment, getting lost in his thought cycle, „I think Gates jacked the last Laphroaig, you could ask him to share,” He laughed, before his hand went to ruffle my hair.

„Did I hear my name?” Speaking of the son of a gun. I turned around to see him coming towards us with a cigarette between his lips and that beautiful miss Laphroaig in his hand. He stopped mid track when his eyes met mine, the smirk growing only wider. „Whoa, Vex, didn’t recognize you there... You can almost pass for a girl.”

„Did you just admit you’re swinging the opposite way?” And I knew I didn’t look like a guy, so that wasn’t even an insult. He could’ve done so much better.

„There’s a difference between what I did ten years ago and what I’m doing right now,” He winked at me as he lit up his cigarette. „But if you’re up for it, we can find you a pretty hot chick, I fell like doing charity work today.”

It was hard to miss that hand sliding over Matt’s face. „I asked you both not to do this, didn’t I?”

„Relax, Shads,” Brian rested his cigarette equipped hand on Matt’s shoulder, „Riley knows I didn’t mean it.” Matt raised his eyes to look at Brian, a small hope mirroring in them, „Nobody is blind enough to hook up with Vex.”

And just like that - all the hope vanished. Matt pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed heavily.

You know what? I wasn’t even up for a fight with him. „Good talk.” I nodded, raising a thumbs up, heading back in the house. Was there a point in his contract that obligated him to be such an asshole? I mean, was it really necessary? If you’ll tell me – yes, it’s in the job description for the vacancy of Synyster Gates, then I’m all good with it, but if not – I don’t get how he still has friends.

I squeezed my way through the sea of people to get to the kitchen and try to get something to intoxicate myself with. As soon as I stepped my foot in the kitchen I noticed a couple having a make out session on the kitchen island. I tried my best to shut them out and pour myself a drink. What is this shit? Grey Goose? I sighed heavily realizing vodka it will be for the night.

„You need a soft with that?” I raised my head to see where the voice was coming from. A guy with light brown hair was hovering a good foot above me. He seemed familiar. „You’re Riley Vex, right?" He extended his arm for me to shake, „I’m Brooks. The new drummer for Avenged.”

„Oh hey,” I shook his hand, „I think I produced a couple songs for your previous band a few years ago.”

„Right. I thought I’ve met you before,” He chuckled. „So how about that soft?”

„Sure, what ya’ got, man?” I smiled. Was there seriously a genuinely nice guy in the fucking band? So being an asshole wasn’t a must? Color me shocked.

„Well, I can offer you the very tasty yet probably roofied orange juice, or maybe the drugged cranberry juice... or, I’d say the best call would be this unopened can of sprite. Shouldn’t be drugged, but we can change that if you’re in to that kinda stuff.” He laughed as he gestured towards each soft neatly sitting on the kitchen island. And yes, the couple to my right was still making out. Get a fucking room, people.

„That sprite sounds perfect.” I said and he instantly took the can, opening it and pouring in to my red cup. „Thank you very much.”

„It’s nothing. I used to help out at Johnny’s when I was younger, I’m used to making drinks.”

„No shit. Me too.”

„Look at that, we have something in common, well besides our striking good looks,” He winked at me charmingly, before he clinked his glass against my plastic cup. „Cheers.”

„Vex!” Saint appeared around the corner, that Bacardi she had overtaken before now half empty. Before her eyes connected with me, those pretty blues landed on the couple next to me. She grimaced in disgust, before she waved them off. „I was looking everywhere for you! Oh, Brooks, I see you found your date for the night.”

„Wait...” My eyebrow arched as I blinked a couple of times. „You’re the guy—„

„Who’s your date! Yes, Vex.” Saint seemed to be too chipper about this. Had she honestly been only drinking? No little happy pills, no nothing?

„Excuse us for a second,” I held up my finger as I took Saint by her arm and pulled her aside. „You set me up with their new drummer? To make Gates jealous? Are you completely out of your mind?”

„Look, I’ve been thinking. I don’t want you to make him jealous. Don’t look at me like that. What? Brooks is single, he’s hot and he’s nice,” She said and took a mouthful grimacing right after.

„Yeah, that’s surprising. I thought being an asshole was a requirement to try out for that shit band,” I said thoughtfully, throwing a short look at Brooks who was now talking to Johnny. The height difference between the two looked almost comical.

„You deserve a nice guy, Vex...”

„Whoa, you’re saying it like we’re about to get married or something.” I frowned for a moment, „we simply happen to be at the same party and happen to be talking. That’s it.”

„For now.” Saint smirked and slapped my ass as she went back to the guys. I shook my head as I followed her shortly after. That girl is simply something else...

„They’re starting beer pong in a few,” Little Christ spoke just as I closed in on the group. „It’s two against two.”

Brooks looked at me, „Wanna play?”

„I don’t know,” I shrugged as I picked up my solo cup from the island and took a sip, „Who are we playing against?”

„Gates and the hot chick...” Johnny explained chugging down on his wine bottle. „What’s her face... Joanne?”

„Jennifer,” I corrected, knowing who exactly he was talking about. I couldn’t believe this shit. Where the fuck was his wife? Why was he screwing around with some bimbo so freely?

„Yeah, that’s the one,” Johnny snapped his fingers.

„You guys should totally play!” Saint suddenly lit up. There was something suspicious about the chick. Why was she pushing this so much? I looked at Brooks, waging the thought for a bit. Jen didn’t seem like the girl who’d like to lose...

„We could try.” His shoulders twitched, „I mean what’s the worst that could happen? We get drunk?”

„Fine.” I smiled as I emptied my cup in three long gulps. „I’m ready. I haven’t played the bloody game in only God knows how long...”

Brooks laughed, „Right after you milady.”

I chuckled as he lead me through the heavily intoxicated people and back to the patio, where they had set the table and everything. Zacky was standing at the side of the ping-pong table, a beer in his hand. „So who’s gonna play against these two? Anyone?”

„Us.” I stated as soon as we walked through the open glass door. I completely ignored Jennifer’s dissatisfied grimace and her stupid remarks about what the hell am I doing here. Uhmm, girl, I knew these guys even before you were born...

„Brooks and Vex against Gates and Jen?” Matt roared in laughter, „This should be interesting.”

„Players take your places,” Zacky announced, „I trust everyone knows the rules. The first team to go out of cups - loses.”

I didn’t know under what kind of rock in what kind of cave you have to live to not know the game. I took the hairband from my arm and made my hair in a high pony tail, before going in for a stretch. It’s on...

„Somebody’s eager to kick some ass...” Brooks said surprised.

„Well... It’s what I do...” I let out a small laugh.

„Okay, I see Vex is warming up,” Zack chuckled, „but there’s a twist to the game. If you score a cup without a bounce, the opposite teams chick strips a clothing piece.”

What? That was straight up bullshit! A discrimination! Who came up with such a stupid rule? „Zacky, that’s sexist... What gives?”

„You better get ready to show your granny panties to the whole world,” Brian snickered, stripping off his leather jacket. I squinted my eyes on him.

„Oh, you’re on!”

Notes

So I just wanted to make something clear, this whole thing happens in the time while "The Stage" was in making and I have made the guys five years younger. Why? I don't know, I just felt like I should.

I hope you all will enjoy the first part of the party and I'd appreciate if you'd give me your thoughts on the chapter. Cheers!