A Lifeless Dream

I opened my eyes and I was in David’s house. I didn't know how I got here I was in Huntington Beach with my friends well my new friends but anyway. I took a look at the house to make sure I was right...yeah it was definitely his house and now I was terrified. Everything in this house now seemed so strange and everything reminded me of that horrible night.

The front door opened and I turned my head to see David entering the house. The moment he saw me his eyes filled with rage. I was just stood still starring at him my whole body shaking with fear. What is he going to do to me? We had broken up why am I here? I kept asking myself.

"What happen Ali are you scared?" he said while walking towards my shaking body, he used the nickname that he had for me at least he used to when we first started dating.

"Why am I here?" I asked. My hands were hugging my body while my eyes were locked on his watching his every move.

"Don't act like you don't remember. I told you I was going to get what I want but you didn't listen so I made sure that none of your friends will look for you again and brought you home. You belong here Ali with me either you want it or not!" his hand removed the hair that had fallen to my face behind my ear. I shivered at his touch and I saw his hands balling into fists.

"No! You're lying I don't want you anymore you can't keep me here against my will" I felt confident right now like nothing could hurt me...boy I was wrong.

"Why? No one is going to search for you even your own mother can’t protect you anymore or you forgot that she is dead?" I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and he just laughed at me.

"Why are you doing this? Just let me go" I almost pleaded him.

"Because I loved you and you left me to go and live your life somewhere else. I could have helped you but you chose to leave and make a new life leaving me here. I needed you too and you left! That's why you deserved what you got and you deserve what you are going to get right now you fucking bitch!"

The next thing I remember was his fist connecting with my face. I gasped in pain and tears started running down my face. Before I could manage to stand up from the floor he started kicking me to my stomach and I felt blood on my lips. I begged him to stop but he didn't listen he just kept kicking me. After a while I felt completely numb I was curled into a ball as a fail attempt to protect myself.

But then he stopped and I felt him picking me up caring me to his bedroom. This can be good I thought. He laid me down on his bed and started removing my clothes. No not again!

"Please don't do this" the tears never stopped running down my face this whole time.

"Shut up" he slapped me across the face. "You made me do this don't you get it?" he caressed my cheek and I hissed in pain "If you were with me none of this was going to happen Alicia"

I was now naked and I watched him removing his jeans and underwear. He was ready once more to force himself into me and I didn't want that. I didn’t want to feel the pain I felt the last time he did that but I was too weak and broken to do anything.

I had lost all hope for someone to save me but then I heard a voice calling my name and David slowly disappeared. My whole body started shaking and this time it wasn't from fear. I could hear someone calling my name but this time the voice was louder and my eyes flew open.

My eyes instantly met his brown ones and I felt safe. Brian was the one that was calling me I was happy that I was here but I was also terrified for the awful nightmare that I just had. He was next to the bed leaning on top of me his hand still on my shoulder and I grabbed the hem of his shirt pulling him closer to me as I started sobbing.

I thought that everything in my dream was real, I felt like I was stacked with him and I would not see anyone again. But most of all I thought that I would never see Brian again and that's what scared me the most. I hadn’t realized that he had laid down next to me and he had pulled me into his chest as I was still crying.

"Shh... easy sweetheart. Everything is gonna be alright ok?" his voice was calm and his hands were rubbing circles on my back. My heart almost skipped a bit when he called me sweetheart but I was too scared to care at the moment.

"Don't leave me" was all I said between my cries.

"I'm not gonna leave you" Brian said to me and that's all what I needed to hear.

After a while I started to relax and stop crying. Brian pulled me away from his embrace and wiped away some of my tears while looking straight into my blue eyes. His eyes were beautiful. They were brown and if you look carefully in them you can see and bit of gold in them which make them special. I could look into them for days and never get bored but I didn't have that right. Cynthia had it...

"You're ok now?" he said still looking into my eyes.

"Yeah I think so" I said and nodded my head. Surprisingly he pulled me into another hug.

"Fuck Alicia you scared me" I was still in his embrace and a few more tears escaped from my eyes.

"I'm sorry" I wiped my tears.

"Don't be! As long as you're ok...but what happened?" he asked the question that I was dreading to hear because I had to lie...I didn't want him to know...

"Maybe it was tiredness. I'm out all day looking for a job and I barely eat because of that... Nothing serious don't worry" I said and forced a smile to my face.

"Are you sure? And why were you crying?" his voice was full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm sure really don't worry...and I was crying because I had a nightmare and when I woke up I didn't know where I am and I got a little scared...Sorry" I gave him an apologetic smile.

"You don't have to be sorry. I'm gonna get the others, they are really worried about you" he said and got up from the bed.

"Why don't you give me a minute and I will come down to see them I feel a lot better" I said and pulled the covers away from my body.

"Are you sure?" He said and I nodded my head to him.

"Ok then I'll see you downstairs" he opened the door and flashed me a smile before he closed again and got downstairs with the guys and his girlfriend.

After he left I got up from the bed with a sigh. The room that they had put me had a bathroom and I got in to wash my face. My eyes were a little red from crying and I was thankful that I hadn't put a lot of make-up because it was going to be ruined by now. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and washed my face. I stood in front of the mirror and examined my face...no bruises. It really was a dream.

With another sigh I got out of the bathroom and bedroom and headed downstairs. I could hear voices but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I soon as my foot hit the living room I was attacked with a hug.

"You fucking scared me. Don't do that again Ever" Lusy said and I chuckled.

"Don't worry I'm fine ok?" she pulled away to look at me and nodded her head.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch where she, Matt and Zacky were sitting. I took a glance around the living room and on the other couch there was Jimmy, Johnny and Brian of course Cynthia was sitting on his lap. Jimmy came and sat down next to me.

"Pancake me and my stallion ducks were really scared about you" he said and put me in a hug.

"Tell your ducks not to be afraid I'm fine" I chuckled as I hugged him back.

"They are stallion ducks not just ducks" he broke the hug and look at me serious.

"Ok then tell your stallion ducks not to be afraid" I said and put emphasis on the stallion.

«That I will do" he laughed.

"So what happened?" Matt asked me.

"I really don't know... I wasn't eating really these days I was out all day searching for a job. Maybe my system was out of battery" I said not wanting to tell the truth. He just nodded.

"You should rest then and eat you don't want pass out again" Zacky spoke this time and I smiled at him.

"I will do! I'm really sorry that I ruined your night" they were all looking at me with smiles on their faces.

"Don't even mention it. You are ok now that's what matters" Johnny said and I nodded to him before my eyes were locked on the ground.

They started talking about something I couldn't follow and I just laid back to the couch not having the strength to try and join their conversation. I was looking at the ceiling thinking about what I was going to do with David. I shook the thoughts out of my head when I felt tears dreading to come out of my eyes.

I sat straight on the couch and my eyes felt upon Brian who was kissing Cynthia. I felt something inside of me breaking... All I wanted was to run and go home. I wished I could be her... I wanted him to kiss me not her but that was never going to happen. Jimmy noticed and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders

"Wanna go home" he said to my ear so only me could hear him.

"Please" I looked into his eyes he just nodded.

"Hey guys I'm gonna give Alicia a ride home ok?" he said and they nodded or mumble a yes.

I gave them all a slight hug and they said to me to get some rest. When we were leaving I turned my head to look at Brian and he was looking at me with a look on his face that I couldn't understand...

We got into the car and the whole ride to my house was silent. I was glad that Jimmy didn't ask me any questions because I really needed that silence to think. I had to tell someone about my past I couldn't hide it anymore, I had to get it out of my chest.

The car slowed down and stopped on my drive way. Jimmy stopped the engine and we stood in the car in silence. I didn't know how I was going to tell him the truth but he was the only one I could trust right now. I know I had Lucy but she just going to worry and I didn't want that. I think Jimmy is going to be worried too but I think he is going to handle the situation better.

"Can you come in? I need to tell you something" I said turning my head to look at him.

"Of course pancake" he flashed me a smile and I chuckled at his nickname for me.

We got out of the car and I heard him locking it before he followed me into my house. I motioned for him to sit in the living room. He sat down on the couch and I sat on the couch opposite from him.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No I'm fine. What's going on? Is it about Brian?" he asked me and this time it was my turn to shook my head.

"No. But really I wished it was" I said and a sigh escaped my lips. Jimmy stared at me with his eyebrows frowned but before he could say anything I spoke.

"Listen Jimmy is just...I...I have something to tell you something about my past...I just had to let it out of my chest and you are the only one I trust now" I looked him and he nodded for me to continue.

"Before I came here you know I lived in England..." I said and he nodded..."The real reason I moved here is because one day when I came back from work I saw my mom laying in the basement covered in blood...she died in my arms" I tried to hold back the tears but I failed, nevertheless I continued " the worst part was when I discovered five minutes later that my father did it. We fight and he tried to kill me too saying I was worthless like my mother. We struggled and then I accidentally shoot him but didn't kill him and I was happy for that because I want him to suffer for what he did..."

I lifted my head that was facing the ground to look at Jimmy. He was on the couch looking at me with big eyes but his eyes softened when the tears started running again and he got up from the couch and sat next to me wrapping one arm around my shoulders pulling me to his chest. In that moment I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Come on Lissa don't cry. I'm here nothing is going to happen" He kissed the top of my head and rocked me slightly back and forth to relax me.

"Thank you Jimmy but there is more" I said once my sobs were stopped and I got out of his embrace to look at him in the eyes.

He gave me a nod to continue and I wiped the tears from my eyes. A few deep breaths later and I was ready to tell my nightmare.

"Well when I was in England I was with someone for three years. David. He was there for me and for that I was thankful but after everything that happened I was a mess and I didn't really want to stay there anymore and I didn't felt anything. It was like someone had turned off my feelings. So after I made my decision to leave the country I got to his house to tell him to break up. I explained everything to him but he just got angry and he hit me" I saw his hands balling into fists and his knuckles turned white.

"Jimmy he did something else..." the sobs were coming back on the thought of that night...

"He..he ra-raped me" I said and broke down again...

He instantly wrapped his arms around me and rubbed circles on my back as I was crying my eyes out. He was there the whole time holding me while I was crying. For a moment I wished it was Brian the one who was doing that but I was happy that Jimmy was here for me.

"That fucker" I heard him saying and I pulled away looking at him. My sobs were stopped and a few tears were escaping my eyes but Jimmy managed to wipe them away the moment they left my eyes.

"Was he the reason that you pass out today?" He was angry but he was trying to hide it.

"He called me and told me that he knows where I am and he was going to get what he want...I'm scared Jimmy what if he finds me?" I said my eyes looking down at my lap. Jimmy lifted my chin and made me to look at him.

"No one is going to harm you ok? I'm not gonna let that fucker come near you and neither will the guys ok?" I nodded and he kissed my forehead before he pulled me into another hug.

I think I fell asleep because I felt someone carrying me in his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold still. He laid me down on my bed and pulled the covers on to cover my body. I opened my eyes and I saw that that someone was Jimmy and he was just going to leave.

"Jimmy please stay with me. I don't want to be alone" He turned his head to look at me and nodded.

He came and laid down next to me and I snuggled closed to him while he wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe. I'm happy that I shared my secret with Jimmy because I know I can trust him, I may not know him for so long but I know he will never betray me.

"Thank you Jimmy" I mumbled into his chest.

"No problem Lissa just get some sleep ok?" he said and kissed the top of my head.

I nodded into his chest and I let sleep consume me...