A Lifeless Dream

I stayed at the mall with Lucy for at least three hours. David didn't show his face again but I couldn't relax, I knew he will come back but for now I decided to forget about him and enjoy my time with my best friend. When it was time to leave Lucy said that she will be riding with Matt. Johnny and Zacky with Jimmy and Brian was giving me a ride home. It will be one hell of a ride. It's not that I didn't want to ride with him I just thought it will be awkward...well we'll see.

Brian's POV

I led Alicia to my car and placed her things to the back seat while she sat to the front. I knew something was going on with her and I knew that she had told Jimmy. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous because she trusted Jimmy and not me. I am going to asked her what was going on during the ride home and I really hope she would tell me because I want to help her.

Since the day I met her I’ve felt protective over her and after of what almost happen at Jimmy's I thought she wasn't going to talk to me anymore but hopefully I was wrong. I didn't mean for that to happen but I couldn't help it I wanted to kiss her and maybe if Jimmy hadn't interrupted us I may have kissed her. I know I have a girlfriend and I know that it will be wrong if I had kissed her but I wanted to.

"Are you ok?" I said and stole a glance from her.

Her hair was falling down her shoulders while she was looking out of the window. I can't lie she was beautiful.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she said as she broke her gaze from the window and turned to look at me with a small smile on her lips.

"I don't know you seemed kinda out of it" I shrugged.

"I'm fine don't worry" she said and smiled.

We didn't speak for the rest of the drive home but I wanted to know what was bothering her. She might tell me that she was alright but I could see it in her eyes that she wasn't. She kept looking out of the window not saying a word, she didn't even move. Yeah, fine my ass. She simply doesn't trust me I wouldn't trust me after what happened but we're friends after all I want her to trust me. Me. Not Jimmy....Great now I'm speaking like a girl.

"We're here" I said as I turned off the car. She didn't move.

"Alicia we're here" I said once again and slightly shook her arm.

"What?" she said and shook her head.

"We're here" I said and pointed to her house.

"Oh, thanks for the ride Brian" she said and smiled.

"No problem" I said and she got out of the car to grab her bags.

"Are you sure that you're ok?" I got out of the car and helped her with her bags.

"No, I'm not" she said and stared at her feet.

"Hey, look at me" I lifted her chin with my finger.

"You know I'm here for you right? If you want someone to talk to I'm here" she kept her eyes on mine.

It was that moment that I got lost in her eyes. It was the first time that I felt an unknown feeling growing inside of me. Her blue eyes held sadness and worry inside of them and for the first time I wanted to replace that with happiness. Because she deserves it. She was nothing like any other girl I had been with. Even Cynthia but I shook the thought of her out of my mind.

I looked at Alicia again and I could tell that she was on the verge of tears so I did the only thing I could do, I hugged her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me close to her. I kept stroking her hair not knowing what else I could do. She moved away from my embrace and looked at me.

"Thank you. Just give me some time and I will tell you Brian. I promise" she said and tried to smile.

"Anything you want babygirl" she just nodded her head.

"Goodnight Bri" she said giving me a light hug.

"Goodnight Lissa" I returned the hug and she gave me a small smile before turning her back to me and heading to her house,

I got into my car and sighed. I didn't know what to do. My feelings are a complete mess right now. I know I'm with Cynthia but things aren't going well right now. The truth is she didn't have a family thing today we actually got into a fight and she left the house. I really don't know why I'm with her anymore. She is always complaining that I don't give her enough attention and that I'm cheating on her. Really, if I wanted to cheat I would have broken up with her.

On the other hand I was confused about my feelings for Alicia. She is a great person and for the first time I met her I knew that she would be special. I knew that something was going to happen between us and after that day at Jimmy's I was sure. Just by look at her you could see how caring and understanding she was. I sighed again and decided that it was time to go home.

When I was ready to start the car I noticed that she left some of her bags in my car. I thought I might as well give them to her now. I got out of the car and opened the door to the back seat and grabbed her bags. I walked towards her front door and I was ready to knock when I saw that she didn't lock so I opened the door and got in.

I searched for her but there was no sign of her downstairs. I thought that she will be upstairs so I made my way up the stairs and towards her room. It was only 8 p.m so I doubted she will be sleeping. However I decided to be quiet and not disturbed her. As I moved towards her room I could hear her talking to the phone more like yelling. My curiosity got the best of me and I opened the door she was with her back to the door facing the window. I stood there waiting for her to speak.

"You can't do this. I won't let you. You've done enough" once again she yelled to the person she was talking.

"You have no idea what I've been through. You’ve never understood me and I thought you loved me" she said her voice cracking. Wait…she has a boyfriend?

"No I fucking hate you after what you did…We have been broken up for 4 months why don't you just leave me alone please?" her voice was now low and calm and I could feel the tears running down her beautiful face.

"How can you say that? I wanted to be alone and you hit me because of that...and worst of all you did the one thing and I thought you could never do to me" my jaw clenched he hit her?

"No one deserves that. Don't bother me or any of my friends again" she said and hung up.

She turned and he jaw dropped when she saw me standing by the door. I was mad for what he did to her I really wanted to kill him. She stood there frozen not knowing what to say or to do. She finally spoke.

"Br- Brian?" she said still shocked "What... What are you doing here?"

"You forgot some of your bags in my car and I thought I might as well bring them to you. Your door was unlocked so I came in. What's going on Alicia? And do not tell me that everything is fine because we both know that is not" I said and moved closer to her.

"Alright, I will tell you just don't be mad at me" she said her eyes glistening with tears.

"I won't. Just tell me the truth" she nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed. I got and sat down next to her turning my body so I could face her.

"One month before I got here and the main reason I got here was because my mother was murdered…and not by any people but from my father...I just got back from work and she...she died in my arms" she said her eyes locked to the ground. I was trying to sink in what she had just told me.

"He tried to kill me too but he didn't succeed it. He is in jail now. After a month I decided to move, I couldn't live in that place anymore" her voice was breaking and I squeezed her hand to show her that I'm here. She raised her head and looked at me her eyes filled with tears.

"My feelings were all turned off. I was numb...The next day I got to my boyfriend’s house David because I wanted to break up with him...he didn't took it so well and he hit me before...before he rapped me" she said and broke down in tears. I brought her close to me and let her cry to my chest…

"That bastard" I said in a hissed tone.

"The day I passed out was because he called me and threatened me and when I woke up and cried was because I saw a nightmare that he took me away and did the same thing he did back home" she said through tears and I just held her close to me stocking her hair.

"Shh…babygirl no one is going to harm you...no while I'm around ok?" I said and pulled her away so I could see her face. She just nodded her head and buried her face in my chest.

"Want to lay down?" I asked her and she looked at me.

"Don't leave me" she shocked her head.

"Never" I said and picked her up to move her to bed.

I laid her down and I laid down next to her. She instantly moved closer to me and wrapped her hands around my neck burying her face to my chest while I moved one hand around her waist and stocking my hair with my free arm. After a little while she spoke.

"Can you sing to me?" her voice was above a whisper and she moved her head to look at me.

"Which song?" I asked in the same tone of voice.

"I want Remenissions" she said and rested her head to the crook of my neck.

I was surprised she chose one of our songs. I didn't know she was listening to them, well I was wrong. However I started humming the song to her while I continued stocking her hair which seemed to relax her.

A good friend once told me

You are memory

Without them we equal nothing

And all I can see this place I wanna be suddenly my life was so free

Leaves at my feet blow to the ground

Their echoes are reaching my ears

Night's coming fast sun's going down

But keep away for me"

I hummed the chorus and I noticed that she had fallen into a deep sleep. I kissed the top of her head and she stirred in her sleep. I closed my eyes and after a while I felt asleep with Alicia in my arms.