The bar is packed by the time I get there so I clock in and get straight to work. I do my best to focus on the paying customers at the bar, but my mind keeps wandering off to Zack and the day we spent together. The thought keeps leading to what would happen if we ever got back together and I have to remind myself that he is with Gena. I hated the reminder, so when the cute guy at the end of the bar told me to pour myself a shot of tequila when I poured him one, I did.

“What’s your name?” He asks me as I refill his shot glass.

“Sutton,” I smile at him.

The guy takes his second shot. “I’m Tobias,” he tells me.

“Well, thanks for coming out and drinking with us tonight, Tobias,” I tell him as I begin to pour a beer for another customer.

“Well, if I knew the bartender was so cute, I would have been in here sooner,” he flirts.

I laugh and shake my head. “Oh, I’m sure you say that to all the bartenders.”

Tobias laughs. “Oh, hardly. Have you seen some of the bartenders around L.A.?”

I grin and shake my head. “Nah,” I tell him. “We’re the best bar in the city, I wouldn’t waste my time anywhere else.”

“Well, now that I know you work here, I won’t either,” he tells me with a wink.

I feel myself blush. “Do you live around here or are you just passing through?”

“I just moved here about six months ago,” Tobias tells me before he takes a drink of his beer.

“Ah, so we’re both relatively new to the area,” I tell him, making another drink, “I’ve been in L.A. for about a year.”

“Where did you live before this?” Tobias asks me.

I hand the beer to the patron and after realizing no one else was waiting for a drink at the moment, I decide to focus more on Tobias. He is super cute, after all, and is distracting me from Zack. “Here and there,” I tell him. “What about you?”

“Ah, a mystery, huh?” He grins. “I lived in Oregon before this. My girlfriend and I broke up and I wanted a change, so I thought why not.”

“Oh, that’s rough,” I grimace. “A change is good, though, right?”

“Right,” he tells me. “So, uh, what about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

I shake my head. “No, I haven’t really had time to date.”

Tobias raises his brow. “Another mystery, huh? Well, how about I take you out to dinner sometime and in exchange, you can tell me a little bit about yourself?” I bite my lip then open my mouth to reply, but before I can, his phone vibrates causing him to look down. “Shit, sorry, it’s my boss. One second.”

He answers it as a woman walks up and orders a bottle of beer. I pull one from the cooler and pop it open before handing it to her and she hands me her money. She’s walking off as Tobias hangs up. “Alright, tell me you didn’t change your mind. Unless your answer was ‘no’, then by all means, take your time to think about it.”

I laugh. “No, I would love to go out with you sometime.”

Tobias grins. Before he gets the chance to reply, I hear from my left, “Can I get a shot of Jack and a Guinness?”

I turn my head and see Zack standing a couple of barstools down. He doesn’t look impressed and I notice him give Tobias a dirty look. “Zack? What are you doing here?”

“Came for a drink,” he tells me.

Tobias stands from his seat. “Sutton, I have to get out of here. He picks up a pen on the counter and jots his number down on the coaster he was using, then slides it to me along with enough money to cover his tab and a hefty tip. “Call me and we can talk about going out.”

“Okay,” I answer trying to smile but suddenly feeling awkward with Zack's eyes on me.

Tobias starts to walk off and Zack repeats himself. “Hello, Bartender! Jack. Guinness.”

I grab a shot glass from under the counter and then fill it with Jack. I hand it to Zack before grabbing his bottle of Guinness. “What are you doing here, Zack?” I pop off the lid and set it down in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he says rudely. “Am I disrupting your playing field?”

I roll my eyes. We’re back to him being a dick, are we? “Look, I get asked out all the time okay? People get alcohol in them and they get the courage to start asking out everyone in the bar. What’s the issue?”

“No issue,” he tells me taking a drink from his beer, “Sutton.”

“You see, I know there is an issue because you only call me by that name to be an ass.”

Zack shrugs. “I call you by that name because it’s your name.”

I stare at him for a moment before I scoff. “Okay, whatever. I’m working so I don’t have time to argue with you.”

Zack looks around the bar and I know he’s noticing that it’s slowly starting to clear out. “Fine.”

“Fine,” I retort.

I spend the next hour keeping myself busy and avoiding Zack unless he needed a refill – which he needed quite a bit. My head is swirling with confusion. We were doing great earlier today. We were laughing and joking and smiling so what the fuck happened? I know Zack is upset over the fact Tobias asked me out, but he has no right to be. He is in a relationship with Gena and I am allowed to be in a relationship, too, if I want to be. Still, for some reason, I feel guilty.

I set a basket full of fries and a cheeseburger in front of Zack. “You should eat something to soak up all that alcohol,” I tell him.

Zack looks at it for a minute before looking up at me. “Are you going to go out with him?” His voice is calm and sounds discouraged.

I bite the inside of my cheek for a moment before leaning on the bar and taking one of the fries out of the basket. “I don’t know,” I tell him taking a bite of it.

Zack grabs a fry, too. “Sorry for being a dick.”

I shrug. “I get off in a few minutes. Want to hang out?”

Zack stares at me for a long moment as if it’s contemplating the offer. “It’s getting late. I should call Brian see if he’ll come get me. I really shouldn’t be driving.”

“Okay,” I nod. He is right, by the amount of alcohol he’s had, he really shouldn’t be driving. “How about I drive you to my apartment. You can hang out while he makes the drive.”

Zack nods. “Okay.”

“You call Brian, and I’ll grab my things and a box for your food,” I tell him before I head through the Employee’s Only door.

I grab my things and can’t help but check my reflection in a mirror before clocking out. I try to tell myself it’s because I worked hard tonight and want to make sure my makeup isn’t running down my face, but I know the real reason has more to do with Zack. I walk out of the room and notice the bar stool Zack was sitting on is empty. I frown and look around the room, but he is nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, did you see where the guy that was sitting here went?” I ask my coworker.

She shakes her head. “No, sorry,” she replies before turning her attention back to the cellphone in her hand.

I stand there, thinking maybe he went to the restroom, but after a couple of moments I give up and head outside. Zack is standing a few feet from the door. His phone to his ear and a cigarette in the mouth. When he spots me, he hangs up.

“Hey, I thought you left,” I tell him.

Zack takes a long drag from his cigarette before answering. “Quieter out here to make a call,” he tells me. Without thinking much of it, I reach up and pluck the cigarette out of his mouth and stick it in mine. “Wow, I don’t miss that,” Zack laughs, draping his arm around my shoulders.

“Did you want your burger?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “Nah.”

Zack and I head to my car and he seems to be in a much better mood than he was when he first got to the bar. He’s laughing and joking while slurring some of his words. Traffic is thick, so it takes almost half an hour to get to my apartment but with Zack in the car, time goes by fast.

“So, what are you doing in L.A. anyway? Did you already drink all the liquor in Huntington Beach?” I ask him as I park my car.

“I don’t know,” he answers as we get out. “We were just having so much fun today. I hated that it had to end, so after I ran some errands and spent some time with Gena, I decided I would come see you.”

“Oh,” I reply. I’m not sure of what else to say that’s appropriate. “Should we head in, then?”

Zack nods and we walk around the building to the entrance. Zack opens the door for me and we walk in. It’s quiet as we enter the elevator and I’m secretly hoping that Rachel is home to create a barrier between me and Zack. I’m not sure if I can be trusted with him alone and I feel horrible about that.

I’m regretting inviting him over as we reach my floor. My heart is pounding, and I think I feel Zack reach for my hand as we make our way down the hall, but I tell myself I’m making it up like I did on the pier.

I was wrong though because Zack reaches for it again but this time he finds it and laces his fingers with mine. His hand is warm and soft, but I can feel the roughness of his fingers as they brush against the back of my hand. My heart is pounding even faster now and I'm sure it’s going to work itself to death.

We reach my door and I pull my hand away from Zack’s, so I can search for my keys. I find them and pull them out of my purse. “Sheridan,” I hear behind me. It’s quiet and the heat from his breath tickles my neck. Zack’s hands are my hips and when I turn to him, they remain there.

Zack doesn’t wait for me to say anything. He kisses me softly but passionately. His lip rings are warm against my lips; he bites my top lip and I invite his tongue inside. He’s backing me up to the wall and I run my hand through his hair before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him deeper into me.

I’m trapped, now, between the wall and Zack but I don’t mind. He cradles my cheek as he kisses me and the anxiety I felt moments before melts away. He breaks away from me for a moment and kisses my jaw and my neck, then my throat before his lips land back on mine.
I feel his fingers creep up my arm that’s still around his neck, and he brings it down, so he can grab my keys out of my hand. He breaks apart from me, so he can find my apartment’s key and everything starts to hit me. He inserts the key and I hear the lock disengage, he smirks at me before leaning in to kiss me again.

“No, Zack…I can’t…we can’t,” I stumble over my words.

Zack kisses me, and I let him. “Why not? Come on, I know you want to.” His lips brush against mine as he speaks. There’s yearning in his voice mixed with a little of something else. Desperation? Anticipation?

I stifle a groan. He is right. I want to so fucking bad. “You’re with Gena. This isn’t…” I push him slightly away from me. “This isn’t fair or right.”

“Who says what is right or wrong? Doesn’t this at least feel a little right to you?” Zack asks me.

My answer is complicated because yes, kissing Zack feels right but remembering that he’s with Gena makes me feel like shit. “You’re with Gena, Zack. That is all that matters.”

Zack stares at me for a long moment. His face is emotionless, so I can’t read what he’s thinking but he doesn’t try to make a move on me again. After a long moment, he purses his lips and nods. “You’re right.”

I nod. “Okay.” It’s quiet for a moment and I feel awkward again. “Um, so do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?”

Zack shakes his head. “Nah, Brian will be here any minute,” he tells me. “I’ll talk to you later, Sheridan.” Before I can reply, he’s already heading down the hallway.

Notes

Thank you overneaththepathofmisery for commenting! To answer your question, unfortunately i don't have a lot of chapters for you to binge read! I'm hoping to find the time to binge-write soon, but so far no luck!

Title credit: Just Surrender “Of All We’ve Known”