My cuticles are bleeding due to the constant, obsessive picking over the last several hours. Even now, even though they’re tender to the touch, I still pick at them as I wait for Zacks arrival. I pick and pull a small piece of skin on my thumb until it becomes larger.

“Ow, shit,” I curse quietly as I tear the piece off completely. Small drops of blood surface and grow larger until I grab a napkin from the dispenser and wrap it around my thumb. I hold it firmly for a few seconds until the blood clots and stuff the bloody napkin into my jean pocket. To keep myself from further picking I force myself to lay my hands flat on the table in front of me. I'm not sure why I still get nervous at the thought of seeing Zack. I wonder if I will always feel this way and then silently pray that I won’t. If that’s the case, I am going to have to constantly wear gloves to prevent myself from picking my fingers down to the bone.

The door opens and my heart flutters into my throat when I see Zack walk in. I watch him nervously as he looks around the restaurant for me. After a moment, his eyes find mine; he smiles and waves before making his way over to our table. As he gets closer, I notice that his hair is damp and parts of his white V-neck t-shirt cling to his torso like he put it on without drying off completely from a shower.

God damn, he looked good. “Hey,” he grins, taking his seat in front of me. “Sorry, I’m late.”

I shake my head, returning his smile. “No, it’s fine. I just got here myself,” I lie.

Zack picks up his menu and looks at it for a very brief moment before putting it back down on the table. “So, why was your date so shitty?”

I raise my brow and take a sip of my water. Before I can reply, however, our server walks up. “What can I get you to drink?” She asks Zack with a smile.

Zack orders a water and the server walks off. He raises his brows expectantly. “So?”

I take a deep breath and shrug. The truth was, I couldn’t stop thinking about Zack the entire time, but I couldn’t tell him that and I hadn’t come up with another reason to tell him. “I don’t know,” I tell him. “He just wasn’t my type, I guess.”

“And what exactly is your type nowadays?” Zack asks.

I shrug again. “I guess I don’t really know. I'm still figuring it out. I haven’t really had time to date around over the last several years.”

The server arrives with Zack's water and then takes our order. “So,” Zack starts again after the server disappears again, “You didn’t date while you were AWOL?”

I chuckle slightly. “I wasn’t in the same place long enough to even find someone I was interested in.”

“Oh, I see,” Zack nods taking a sip of his water.

I nod too, and awkward silence begins to blanket us. I fight the urge to start picking at my cuticles again. “So, can I ask you a question?”

I can tell that Zack is messing with his lip ring behind his closed mouth. “Sure.”

“It’s personal,” I warn.

“I can’t guarantee that I'm going to answer but you can ask,” he tells me.

“Okay, fair enough,” I reply. I take a sip of my water mostly to stall asking him what I'm going to ask. The last time I asked him this, he kicked me out of his house. “Why do you insist on cheating on Gena? Why not just break up with her if you’re not happy?”

A muscle in Zack jaw twitches. He shifts in his seat and I notice him glance back at the exit. For a moment, I think he’s going to storm out but eventually, he relaxes and leans back in his chair. “I tell you what, I’ll answer that if you answer a question first.”

I think about it for a moment. There isn’t much I want to hide from Zack, so I reply with “Okay.”

Intrigued, Zack sits up in his chair. “You can’t lie and you have to answer.”

I shrug. “Fine but the same rules apply to you when you answer my question.”

Zack smirks. “Fine.” He takes a sip of his water and shifts in his seat so he’s slightly leaning over the table. “Did you kill Eli?”

I can’t help but scoff. “That’s what your big question is? I have already answered that, remember?”

“You answered it when Gena was sitting beside me. I know you don’t trust her so…” he trails off as he waits for my answer.

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t kill Eli. Before Halloween, the night with you in the bar, I hadn’t even been back to Huntington Beach since my eighteenth birthday.”

Zack narrows his eyes. “Okay, so maybe you didn’t do it…but you have to know who did or you put someone up to it.”

I shake my head and glance around the diner. Thankfully, it was clearing out and the closest people to us were several tables away. It is true that I have an idea who killed my brother – the anonymous blogger – but I didn’t even know her true identity. Even if I did, there was no way I would tell anyone my suspicions. It’s horrible, but Eli got what he deserved. The police and justice system weren’t doing anything about his crimes so someone else took matters into their own hands. No matter who it was, I know I will always go out of my way to protect them in whatever way I can. Who knows how many people they protected by doing what they did, so it is the least I can do.

“No, I –” I start but Zack cuts me off.

“Oh, come on, Sheridan. I know you know something.”

I scoff. “Why does it matter? Why do you think I know something? I mean, maybe the only reason you’re hounding me is because you’re really the one that did it and you’re curious to know If I have something to incriminate you.”

Zack laughs. “Touché but we were still on tour when he died.”

“So then you know who did it or you paid someone to do it for you…everyone knows you make enough nowadays for it.”

Zack grins. “Alright, you don’t know anything about it. I just figured you did. Especially since you said the police questioned you for hours when you came to town.”

I shrug. “Well, it looked suspicious. The missing sister Eli publicly called crazy and unstable just happened to come back with a changed name right after the murder. But, you know, I had an alibi and they have nothing whatsoever on whoever did it so…I don’t know. I guess it’s going to go cold. I'm just waiting for the house to not be a crime scene anymore.”

The server walks up and delivers our food. She asks us if we need anything else and after we tell her no she walks away. Zack continues the conversation after he takes a bite of his burger. “What are you going to do with the house? Are you going to move into it or…”

I shake my head aggressively. “God, no! Not only because of Eli’s murder but because of all the shit Eli and my mom put me through. No, I don’t ever want to step foot in that place again. I just want to tear it down.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Zack tells me popping a fry into his mouth.

“Anyway,” I shrug. “It’s your turn.”

Zack groans. “Ugh. Okay, what was your question?”

I fake-glare at him. “You know what my question is. You’ve been avoiding it for weeks.”

“I have not!” Zack lies.

“I don’t see why you won’t just admit to why you do it. I mean, you’re obviously not ashamed of how you treat her because you keep doing it. I just don’t understand,” I tell him.

“Wow, harsh,” Zack scoffs.

“Well, am I wrong?” I ask.

Zack shakes his head. “It’s complicated.”

I lean back in my seat. “Okay. I’ve got time.”

Zack groans again. He stares at me for a very long time before he sighs and eventually replies. “I don’t know.”

I roll my eyes at his response. “Oh, come on!”

“No, I’m serious. I don’t know why I do the things I do. I mean, I don’t even know why Gena sticks around, but she does,” Zack shrugs.

“So then stop being an asshole. I mean, it’s obvious that she loves you and I mean, you love her too –” I ignore the pang of jealousy and pain in my chest, “– so why isn’t that enough?”

Zack wasted no time replying. “I want more.” We’re both silent for a long moment and he continues. “I know that makes me sound like a complete asshole but…something’s missing. I don’t know what it is, I don’t even know if it has to do with Gena but…I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid to feel like you’re missing something,” I tell him. “it’s stupid to do this to a girl
that loves you while you try to figure it out, though.”

Zack stares at me for another long moment. I’m about to open my mouth to tell him that maybe I was out of line but before I do, he replies. “You’re right,” he nods. “You’re absolutely right.”

After that, we change the subject and talk about other things including what was next for Avenged Sevenfold and Zack asks if I have any guys I planned on seeing. We finish our food and go to the counter to pay but when I begin to dig my wallet out of my purse, Zack stops me.

“No, I’ll get it,” he tells me. “I was late anyway.”

I shake my head and attempt to refuse but he’s already handing the cashier his money. “Zack, come on, you don’t have to do that.”

Zack thanks the cashier as she hands him back his change and turns to me. “It’s fine, I mean, like you said, everyone knows I make a shitload of money anyway,” he mocks me from our previous conversation.

“Oh, shut up,” I laugh as we walk out of the diner. “I was trying to make a point.”

Zack and I walk down the pier and continue our conversation. Our hands bump together a couple of times and at one point I even think Zack reaches for me but I brush it off as my imagination. It is beginning to feel like it did when we were teenagers, we are laughing and joking with each other. I forgot how much I missed this and how much I miss him. This is why
I never came back – because I knew we would fall back into the way things used to be and it would be too hard to leave again. I was thankful that Zack was back in my life and I have no plan on leaving again.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to the house and hang out?” Zack asks me as we approach my car.

I shake my head and laugh. I did, I really did but couldn’t for two reasons, one being I didn’t trust myself alone with Zack in a private setting and also because I had to get back to Los Angeles and get ready for work. “I wish I could but some of us have real jobs,” I joke.

Zack laughs and opens my car door for me. “Alright, I’ll text you then.”

I grin and get into my car. “Sounds great. Thanks for lunch! Next time I’ll buy.”

Zack winks at me. “Not a chance. Drive safe!” He tells me before shutting my door. Zack gives me a wave before I start the car and pull out of the parking spot.

Notes

Hey guys! So sorry for the lack of updates last week! Right after I posted Chapter 07 of this and 02 of Secrets and Lies, I deleted everything off my computer because it was in a very dire need of an update and I needed to clear up everything to get just enough space......and then that didn't work. I literally fought with it until two days ago until it FINALLY updated and I was able to redownload Word and everything else I use. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and Happy Friday the 13th! Did you guys see those sweet $13 lawn tickets for Avenged's upcoming tour? It's definitely a deal if you couldn't afford to go otherwise! Our guys are just super sweet and considerate!

If you read Secrets and Lies, I will be updating that later tonight or tomorrow because I still have to finish the chapter.

thank you so much to overneaththepathofmisery and Tina7x for commenting on the previous chapter!

Title credit: Halsey “Drive” Altered Line.