Strawberry Fields Forever

The next day, Matt woke up very groggy with a terrible headache. It was only a little after seven, but he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep again. He’d never been much of a sleeper, but especially not when he was cuddled against someone, which had been rare even during the years prior to his wife’s death.

Matt liked to believe that they were happy, but the truth was that Val would have divorced him sooner or later – and it was nothing but just and his fault.

During her entire pregnancy with Cash, she’d never once shared the bed. She’d suspected him of cheating, and Matt knew all along, but she refused to believe it for years. And then… Matt swallowed as he thought about the fateful evening.

The band had been touring in South America, and they only got back some days ago. Up until that tour, Matt believed that there was beauty in every woman – at least to a certain extent. But when he saw the very first girl in the line at the meet and greet in Sao Paolo, he knew just how wrong he had been.

When they walked in, Brian whispered into his ear. On that tour, they’d been playing an extreme version of would-you-rather. You had two options and you had to carry out one of them, no matter how disgusting they were. And everyone who was in – Brian, Zack, Johnny, their roadies Matt and Jason Berry as well as two of their bodyguards, Big T and Dan the Body – had to play along, even if it wasn't their "dare".

For example, when Johnny had to choose between picking up a male groupie or having every single hair of his armpits removed with tweezers by Dan, Dan couldn't refuse to do it, even though it was Johnny's dare. But that was only the beginning. Their choices had become more and more disgusting (and funny they thought) with time.

“Bone that ugly ass moon pie face over there or the Berrys get to wax your ass hair,” Brian said. Matt swallowed. It was obvious who the fan was interested in from her looks, but Matt found out later, when he did the deed highly intoxicated and from behind, just how much:

On her left ass cheek, she had a giant portrait of him as a tattoo. An ugly portrait even, with his teeth looking black, his one ear being way further up than the other one and the scripture "Matt Shadows" that he hated so much. It had to be either M Shadows or Matt Sanders, nothing in between.

It was that encounter that gave him chlamydia, and through him to Val. And that was when he knew Valary wasn’t able to lie to herself anymore. That would have been the beginning of the end of them.

He let out a sigh as he thought about her. Would she have wanted him to move on? Most definitely. All Matt knew was that she wasn’t bitter about everything, and never had been. She was way too perfect for him, and maybe Amelie was, too.

He turned around to face Amelie, who was still soundly asleep. He watched her breathe for a while. Did he deserve her, all that happiness? Certainly not. But Matt was just a man, he couldn't refuse something she was willing to give anyway. It was wrong to take her love, so wrong. But at this stage of their forming relationship, none of them wanted to stop.

The steady rhythm of her chest moving up and down made him somewhat sleepy again. Matt decided to get up and play the piano for a while, but when he walked past his kids’ room, he heard them talking already. Matt entered the room and saw them peacefully lying next to one another, something that rarely happened.


“Good morning sweethearts,” he greeted them. “Daddyyy,” they howled giddily. After feeding them breakfast and changing Cash’s diaper, he put them in front of the TV to have some time for making pancakes for Amelie. Despite not exactly remembering every detail from the night before, he still knew it showed him that everything was going to be alright eventually.

Pancakes for breakfast had become a ritual for them, and they were the only meal Matt dared to make alone, simply because he’d done it so many times. But that day, he decided to step things up a bit: Instead of just drowning them in maple syrup, he heated up some frozen berries as a sauce and put some whipped cream on top.

Content with himself, he looked at his creation. It was impressive considering he had been living off canned food and takeout for so long.

Just as he was about to carry her plate upstairs, he heard the soft slapping of her bare feet -splat, splat, splat- as she walked into the kitchen. In a long white t-shirt that spelled “City of Voodoo – N’Awlins”, she looked simply breathtaking to him. “Hello there, Rosebud,” he said sheepishly as he hugged her. Even in the morning, she smelled so good. “I made you something.”

After devouring the pancakes, Matt arranged a meeting with Brian and the guys at the beach. Luckily, Amelie was alright with starting from scratch with Brian. Each of them dressed one of the kids and Amelie made some sandwiches while Matt packed some beach and children necessities. And off they went.

Gojira’s song Magma started to play as soon as Matt turned the ignition of his convertible. Their fingers entwined between their car seats. Amelie looked at him as he drove through the streets. He wore green trunks and a plain white t-shirt. His obligatory backward worn cap and the aviators completed the look. Amelie was wearing a beautiful black jumpsuit that seemed to be just right for a beachy day.

“I think you should rename yourself to M Shades,” she remarked with a smug grin. His thumb softly stroked her hand as he pulled into a parking spot at the beach. After a while, the rest of his bandmates and their families arrived. River and Cash immediately started playing in the sand with Tenney, Zack’s son.

“Amelie,” Matt said placing his arm on the small of her back as he led her to where Johnny and Brian had installed a big open tent so they were in the shades, “those are my bandmates.” He pointed toward them.

Johnny aka the garden gnome was the first to approach her. “Hi, I’m Johnny,” he said with a smile, “I play bass and I’m the leader of Avenged.” Matt let out a chuckle as they shook hands, remembering the funny videos they used to make when they were almost ready to come out and play.

In one of them, he’d filmed himself saying nice things about Johnny and in the end you could see that very man aiming a gun at him, forcing him to say all that. They all laughed.
Zacky was next. He introduced himself with a warm smile and some small talk.

Matt threw a knowing look over to Brian, who was chilling in the sun on a camping chair, flipping through his phone. He knew it wasn’t easy for him, so he respected him even more for trying. Brian got up from his chair and slid the phone into his trunks before heading over to where he was standing.

An uncertain smile on his face, he said, “Hey Amelie, nice to meet you. We said ‘from scratch’, so… I’m Brian and I play the lead guitar.” Matt smiled, knowing that it must have cost him a lot of energy. Syn Gates usually wasn’t someone to admit he was wrong. Amelie laughed and then took the hand he was offering. “Amelie Richter, nice to meet you, too.”

With screeching tires, Zacky’s car came to a halt right in the parking lot behind them. The guys’ women emerged with some sixpacks, a cooler and Zacky’s portable barbecue. Brian leaned over as they approached them. Zacky’s Meghan seemed to be struggling with the barbecue, so Matt jumped up the stairs to help her.

They quickly introduced themselves to Amelie and as she and Meghan started to build a sand castle with the little ones, Matt slumped into the stool next to Brian and opened a bottle of beer.

“Dude,” Brian laughed hysterically, his face practically glued to his phone again, an awful habit he had picked up on the last tour, “you have to see this. There is a tumblr page literally dedicated to pictures of Matt’s crotch! It says something like Matty’s horsecock.”

Suddenly curious, Johnny and Matt arched closer to look at the pictures. They all laughed at it and Matt swore to himself that he wasn’t going to wear jeans on stage anymore, since they always gave him fake boners. Well, he admitted with a grin, some of them were real...

As the sun started to set Zacky fired up the barbecue and Matt decided it was a good time for a swim, since the food would not be ready for another twenty minutes. He simply grabbed Amelie by the hand and dragged her into the ocean with him. In the waves, he couldn’t resist.

He securely pressed her against himself and her legs moved to embrace him. She had this happy laugh on her face again that Matt knew made him fall in love with her in the first place. He captured her lips in a passionate kiss as the cold waves washed around them. Their tongues battled ferociously before they broke apart to get some air.

Later they had some steaks, chicken and sausages along with potatoes and veggies Meghan had prepared in advance and then Brian started a bonfire. They were sitting on the floor, Amelie between Matt’s legs and leaned against his chest.
His arms were around her and he could inhale her scent whenever he wanted to. Johnny and Zack were grilling some marshmallows, and for the first time in a long time, Matt felt that everything was finally going pretty alright.

Eventually, Cash passed out and Matt carefully carried him to Brian’s car. He’d promised to take him and River over the night so Matt and Amelie could have some alone time. Frankly, Matt knew they needed it, especially after he decided to leave all those doubts behind and try it.

“Thanks for taking them again,” Matt said as he quietly closed the door. “Don’t worry about it,” Brian said with a smile, “and have a good time with your… girlfriend.”

He hesitated before that last word, not really knowing how to call her. Matt turned around to face Amelie, who just smiled.

He took her hand in his and finally felt complete.

Notes

Hey guys, here's an update for you :)
Hope you liked it. Unfortunately, spring break is ending for me, so I'm sorry if I can't update as frequently :/