Spencer

After a few minutes of crying into Matt’s chest, I dried my eyes. "Sorry," I mumbled to Matt as I tried to wipe the makeup from his shirt.

"You're okay," he told me. We began walking back to the bus, his arm slung across my shoulders again.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked me as we climbed up the steps to the bus.

"Sure," I replied as I made my way through the bus and to my bunk. I pulled out a wipe out of my makeup bag and headed to the bathroom, Matt watching me the entire time.

Matt stood in the doorway as I began to wipe the running mascara from my face. He didn't reply so I glanced at him through the mirror, he was nibbling at his lip.

His eyes found mine through the mirror and he stared at my reflection for a moment before saying, "I don't want you to take it the wrong way. You and Zack are both my best friends."

I turned to him and leaned against the sink. "Okay."

His eyes lingered on my face and a sigh escaped his lips. "Why do you put up with that kind of shit?"

"What do you mean?" I asked but I already knew his answer.

"He treats you like shit and don't say he doesn't because everyone sees it even if they don't bring it up."

I sighed. "I cheated on him, Matt. He's just angry."

Matt shook his head. "No. If he's so angry that he gets pleasure from hurting you then he should have just broke up with you." The thought of Zack leaving me hurt my heart, and it must have shown on my face because Matt sighed. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth Spence."

"Matt..." I began, pushing past him gently. I really didn't want to get into this with him.

"No, just listen to me," he urged. He followed me to the back room. I sat on the couch and he pulled a chair up and sat in front of me.

"I love Zack, Matt."

"I know you do but look at how he's treating you. Don't think I haven't noticed how depressed you've been." He grabbed my hands. "Yeah you fucked up royally. You hurt him bad and I'm not making any sort of excuse for you or what you did but...fuck, Spencer, he's treating you like shit and hurting you too. I get it, he's angry and he has every right to be but like I said, he chose to stay with you; he should be working on forgiving you. He shouldn't be out trying to piss you off, or hurt you or make you jealous or whatever the fuck it is he's trying to do. You deserve better than that."

I felt selfish because I agreed with Matt. I know I didn't deserve this. Zack flirting with so many women and fans was wrong and I knew that. I also knew Zack deserved more than me. I cheated on him and broke not only his trust, but something else broke inside him too or else he wouldn't be acting this way. I knew that.

I sighed and stared down at my hands. They were tiny compared to Matt's. His thumbs rubbed large, soothing circles on the back of my hand. Most people would consider this odd behavior, but it felt natural between Matt and I. I wasn't sure if it was because we were so close or if maybe it was just because I had always felt completely comfortable around him.

I opened my mouth to respond but we were interrupted when the door opened and Zack emerged. His eyes found us and then found our hands. "Can I speak to my girlfriend privately, please?" he seethed.

Matt moved his eyes from Zack and to me. He raised his brows and I nodded. Without a word, Matt got up from the chair and left the room. Zack closed the door behind him.

"So, what, I need permission to talk to you now?" He asked.

I groaned. "It's not like that and you know it, Zack."

He made the few short steps towards me and handed me a box. It had the iHop logo on it. "You didn't eat."

I took the box from him and laid it on the table net to us. "I'm not hungry," I told him. Suddenly, I couldn't look at him.

Zack sat in the chair Matt was in and stared at me. "What is your problem?"

"My problem?" I scoffed. "Am I supposed to be okay with you flirting with every female that lays her eyes on you? You're going out of your way to hurt me and you know it Zack."

"Oh, get over it, Spencer." He rolled his eyes. "I'm just being nice, it's a part of the job and you know that."

“Sure, sweet talking is a part of the job - I get that. But you're not just sweet talking, Zack! You're flat out flirting with these people while I sit right there and listen to it!" I was beginning to get angry again.

He shook his head, a light smile forming on his lips. "Oh, am I supposed to do it behind your back? Am I supposed to get drunk and invite one of them into our bed? Is that how it's supposed to be done, Spencer? Oh, please teach me your ways!"

"Oh, fuck you." I stood from my seat but he pulled me back down.

"I'm not done talking to you," he said.

I gave him a crazed look. "I don't care."

He scooted the chair closer to me and put his hands on my knees gently. I didn't look at him, but I didn't move either. "Spencer," his voice was soft.

I kept my gaze away from him and he began to run his hands up and down my thighs. I finally looked up at him, tears burning my eyes. "I know I hurt you, Zack. I know I fucked up and I'm sorry. If you don't want to be with me, I understand but I can't keep doing this anymore. You're hurting me, don't you see that? Don't you care?"

Zack hung his head, his hands resting on my thigh. Temptation to run my hands through his hair, down his neck and against his arms hits me but I don't move. After a long time, Zack finally looks up at me.

"Spencer, you know I love you." His words send a jolt through my body. The L-word hasn't passed his lips for almost six weeks and there it was. "I'm just...I'm really hurting and I know
I've been an asshole, I’ve been handling this all wrong and I'm sorry."

A lump caught in my throat. "I know, I'm sorry too."

"I'll try to do better, okay? I want to be with you; I love you." His voice was sincere. His green eyes searched my face and I wanted to kiss him but refrained.

"I love you too," I whispered. He leaned forward and pulled my head to his. Our foreheads rested against each other's for a moment before he slowly brought his lips to mine.

Notes

Kinda short but I may update again tomorrow. Feedback is muchly appreciated! Thank you guys so much for reading!!

Title credit: Bullet for My Valentine "Dead to the World"

Also, big announcement for some! "Enough" is getting a sequel! I've been convinced and so I'm beginning to work on that and i hope to have the first chapter out in the next couple of weeks.

Edit: MeRi, I was doing last minute adjustments when you asked for an update so good timing! haha