Spencer

I stay in bed for the next two days. I had picked up my cellphone, found Zack's name in my contacts and allowed my finger to hover over the call button dozens of times before I locked my phone and put it to the side, only to grab it and type out a text to him minutes later. No texts were sent though and no calls were made; and he never contacted me either.

The day before the guys went on tour I was able to pull myself out of bed. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Matt sat; he had a cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. I don’t say anything as I pour myself a cup of coffee and turn to the table. Matt’s eyes catch mine and he looks genuinely surprised to see him.

“Morning,” he mumbles.

“I’m going to go apartments shopping today,” I tell him. “I should be here for only a couple more days, I know you’re leaving for tour tomorrow. So I’ll just leave the spare key next to the door in the bowl, if that’s okay?”

“What?” he said putting down his paper can coffee. “Spence, you don’t have to leave. You can stay here.”

I knew this was coming, I expected it. Matt was a great friend, one of the greatest I had. “Matt, it’s fine. I can’t stay here forever so I should just find an apartment now. I mean, the sooner the better.”

Matt didn’t answer right away. “Oh, okay,” he finally said. “If that’s what you want.”

I nodded, “It is.” Although I wasn’t sure. I just knew if I wanted to get back with Zack that I had to get out of Matt’s house. Zack wasn’t happy with me and Matt hanging out like we were, not now that Zack knew about Matt’s feelings for me.

Matt looked disappointed and I felt a twinge in my heart. He was my best friend, whether he had feelings for me or not. I didn’t want to hurt him, I didn’t want to not be friends with him and I knew that’s what Zack would ask. How would that even be possible? How can he remain friends with Matt but expect me not to be?

“I have a phone-in interview with a radio station in an hour, but I’d love to go apartment hunting with you. You know how people can be with women, they try to intimidate them and…”
It was a bad idea. I should start separating myself from Matt. The idea was simple but the actual process was complicated.

But he’s right. People constantly try to bully women when it comes to real-estate, car repairs, and whatever else. I nod, “Okay.”

Zack couldn’t get mad at me for this right? I mean, he broke up with me. So technically I could do anything I wanted and that’s what I will tell him if he finds out about this and has a problem with it. Matt is my friend; I’m not going to end a friendship to keep a relationship.

Matt makes his phone call to the radio station, and right after we head to one of the apartments on my list.

The first apartment was fine. It was a small studio apartment, the kitchen was cute and the bedroom was decent size. Matt didn’t like it, and when I asked why he just shrugged.
“It’s not you,” he said. whatever that meant.

The second apartment was larger. It had two bedrooms, so I could get a roommate if I wanted or use the extra space for storage as Matt suggested. The kitchen was cute, it had granite cabinets and oak cabinets. I was ready to put down my deposit, but Matt stopped me.
“Let’s think about it first, maybe grab a bite to eat. No need to make any rash decisions,” he told me. I wasn’t making any rash decisions. I liked this apartment, it was good. It was a good place for me to start over until Zack and I could talk and work things out. I agreed to lunch anyways, it’s not like the apartment was going anywhere.

“So, what’s wrong with the apartment?” I ask him after we get our pizza and sit down at a table.

He shrugged, taking a mouth full of pizza. “Nothing,” he said, not bothering to swallow.

“Oh, whatever,” I roll my eyes.

He sighed. “It’s not by the ocean.”

“What?”

“The ocean, you can’t see it from your apartment,” he said.

The ocean? What did that have to do with anything? We lived in Huntington Beach, the ocean wasn’t far. “Matt, that’s not necessarily a deal breaker for me.”

“Well, it should be. I mean, you’ve lived within the oceans view your whole life.” He told me. “You should just stay at the house until you find something better. You deserve better.”

I nibbled my lip, thinking it was just a place to stay. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I decided to change the subject. It didn’t matter. “You’re leaving tomorrow,” I say softly. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed. This is the first time in years that the guys were going on tour without me. I always tagged along, they were my best friends.

“Yeah,” Matt replied. “You should still come.”

A laugh escaped my lips but Matt’s face remained serious. I sigh. “You know I can’t.”

“Yes you can,” he tells me. “You can. I’m saying you can.”

“Zack doesn’t want me there,” I tell him.

“You don’t know that.”

I give him a look and he takes another bite of his pizza. “Matt…”

“No, Spence. You don’t know if he wants to see you or not. You guys are making this more complicated than it need to be. Just try to talk to him. And you know, who cares if he doesn’t want you there. I want you there.”

I can’t help but smile but it doesn’t last. I’m supposed to be pulling myself away from him, not smiling because he wants me near him. “I can’t,” I tell him.

Matt sighs. “Fine. But at least stay at the house? I mean, I’m going to be gone so it’s not going to be a big deal. You can take your time looking for a place to stay at least until…” he stops, looking troubled; pained. “At least until you and Zack get back together,” he finishes, avoiding my gaze.

“Okay,” I told him, nodding. He looked up at me and I gave him a small smile. “If you insist.”

Notes

This chapter is kinda shitty, sorry about that you guys.The ideas are slowly starting to run out, but I've still got some tricks up my sleeve. Is there anything anyone wants to see happen in this story? Always accepting suggestions!

Thank you to kaylakakes, Kimmie, Cheyenne16 and MeRi for commenting on the last chapter.

Title credit: Mest "This Time"