Enough

Zack and I didn't talk until we were halfway back to Matt's house. Curiosity got the best of me, so it was I who broke the silence.

“What did Jake say to you?" I asked him.

Zack didn't answer me at first but then he said, "Nothing worth repeating." I sighed and he glanced over at me. "What happened? What caused Matt to go over there?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

"Damn it, Beks. I know you're lying to me. But why?"

I didn't answer him, and he didn't bother pushing the matter. It wasn't until we pulled into Matt's drive way and got out that he spoke again, this time to Matt.

"What the fuck is going on?" Zack asked Matt as Matt climbed out of his truck. "She won't tell me, but you better."

Matt stared at Zack for a moment and I could tell he was trying to decide if he should fight with his best friend or just give in. Finally Matt looked at me and replied. "It's not my business to tell, man."

Zack looked at Matt for a long moment and then turned back to me. "So we're keeping secrets from each other now? Is that it? Or am I the only one out of the loop?"

"Zack, it's not like it." I answered him; I reached for his arm reassuringly.

Zack turned his attention fully towards me and Matt took this as his chance to go inside to avoid an argument. "Then tell me what's going on."

My hand slid down his arm, and he caught my hand in his. I stared down at our hands for a moment and that funny feeling returned to my stomach. Butterflies.

I looked back up at Zack and my desperate eyes met his pleading ones. "It's not an easy thing to say."

Zack pursed his lips. "You told Matt."

"He bugged me for weeks."

"Beks..."
I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. I knew it wasn't his business. I knew I had no obligation to tell him. I knew I had to tell him anyways. I knew after everything he did for me, I couldn't lie to him anymore.

"I'll tell you," I told him. "But you have to promise not to react the way Matt did. You can't do anything about it."

Zack didn't answer right away. "How am I supposed to promise that knowing the way Mat reacted? I don't know what it is you're going to tell me, but I know if it upset him it's going to
upset me."

"Promise me."

Zack took a sharp breath and then pushed it out. "Fine," he sighed, clearly unhappy with my conditions, "I promise."

I nodded curtly. "Okay."

I began the same story I told Matt. I stared at the ground mostly, or at a tree far off and Zack mostly stared at his hands but I occasionally noticed him stealing glances of me. When I finished my story there was a very long silence. I couldn't bring myself to look at Zack and I was wondering if he was thinking of me any differently.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me this before? He should be dead, Beks! Dead! You should have let Matt kill him! I would have helped! And all those guys that he...that he...motherfucker!" I looked at Zack and noticed he was clenching his fists and looking for something to hit.
"Hey, hey, hey," I said, grabbing his hand and forcing it into mine. "Calm down, it's okay."

"No it's not!" He yelled, refusing to look at me.

I let go of his hand and put both of mine on each side of his face and forced him to look at me.
"You got me out of there, Zack. If it wasn't for you and Matt, I would still be there."

"We should have come back sooner; we should have come and got you as soon as we lost contact with you."

I shook my head. "I wasn't ready then, I wouldn't have gone."

"But..." Zack started but I shook my head and removed my hands from his face and brought them back down to my sides. Zack grabbed my hands almost immediately. "I should have been there. I'm sorry."

"I should have told you what was going on sooner," I told him. Zack pulled me into a hug and I nuzzled my face into his chest.

He pressed his lips on the top of my head. "It's okay. I know now, and I'm never going to let anything like that happen again. I promise."

A few hours later, I pulled up to Zack's driveway. He left shortly after our talk and I had to have a discussion with Matt about his actions. As for the remainder of my day, I was going to push aside my problems and be carefree and enjoy my movie night with Zack; I think we both deserved some time just to relax and have fun.

I grabbed my sack of snacks from the passenger side seat before getting out of my car and walking to the front door. Zack opened it before I had the change to knock.
"Are you ready for a horror-ble night?" Zack asked with a grin on his face.

I laughed. "You're not funny."

"But you laughed!" Zack smiled, closing the door behind me as I pushed passed him.

"It was a pity laugh!" I told him opening my sack of treats. "I brought sour gummy worms, twizzlers, chocolate and salt and vinegar chips."

"And I have popcorn and beer." He motioned to his little mini-refrigerator.

"I can't believe you still have that!" I laughed. Zack and I bought it together when we were still in high school at a yard sale. We used it for our movie nights in his parents' basement.
Zack laughed too. "I can't believe it still works!" He opened it and grabbed two beers. He offered me one and after I took it he opened the other and brought it to his lips. "Ah, refreshing."
I shook my head. "You're an idiot."

He shrugged. "You obviously enjoy it because you stick around."

"True!" I smiled.

**

More hours passed and out movie night was a success. We had watched Night of the Living Dead, The Bride of Frankenstein, and Hellraiser. Now we were watching Dracula, and though it was one of my favourites, I was having a hard time paying attention to it because Zack was sitting on the couch next to me and his leg was touching mine. I didn't understand why after all these years I began to get butterflies in my stomach when he was around. I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling like this around him at all.

At first, I tried to tell myself it was just because I missed Jake, but I knew that wasn't true. Now, I'm really starting to wonder if maybe I cared about Zack a little more romantically than I should. I mean, he was in a relationship, he was basically engaged to be engaged. He knew who he wanted to marry, he had the ring, he was just waiting for her to say yes - and she was going to say yes. I mean, just look at him not only was he completely gorgeous but he was also kind, caring, smart and talented.

I shook the thoughts from my head; he was my best friend that was it. Of course, I thought he was handsome - there was nothing wrong with admitting that your best friend was handsome, and anyone who knew Zack knew he was kind, caring and talented. I was being ridiculous; I didn't have feelings for Zack.

Yet I couldn't stop thinking about his leg touching mine and his arm stretched out on the couch above my head. I couldn't help but glance at his lips when he spoke to me. I couldn't explain the electricity that shot through me when he touched me.

I submerged myself in these thoughts until the movie was over. I yawned and stretched, glancing at my phone while doing so. It showed that it was nearly five in the morning.

"Tired already, old woman?" Zack chuckled.

I elbowed him gently in his side. "Shut up." I yawned again. "I should get going."

"I thought you were staying the night?" Zack asked me. I wondered if he really had a tone of disappointment in his voice or if I had just imagined it.

"I was," I told him, "until I forgot my overnight bag. You know me, I was too worried about the sweets to worry about anything else." The truth was I didn't know if tonight was going to be awkward or not because of my confession earlier so I forgot my overnight bag on purpose.

"Okay," Zack said pulling me back down on the couch. "So, you can wear some of Gena's clothes to bed. And I'm pretty sure we have extra toothbrushes and stuff from when Gena's cousins come stay the night. Those kids are always forgetting their toothbrushes."

“Okay, if you insist." I yawned.

Zack smiled, "I do." He got up and pulled me back onto my feet. "Let's get you to bed, sleepyhead."

I gently nudged him in the side again before following him upstairs. He pulled me out a tank top and some shorts from Gena's drawer and showed me to the guest room. We said our good nights, and he told me to holler if I needed anything, and then he left the guest room and returned to his own. I changed quickly and crawled into bed, falling asleep soon after my head hit the pillow.

Everything was dark.

The silence was deafening, I could hear the blood pumping in my ears. My arm reached and hit a wall. I moved my hand around until I felt a light switch, I switched it on and the room lit up. I was standing in my home with Jake.

"Jake?" I called into the room. There was no answer. I continued to venture into the room, and up the stairs.

Before I could reach our bedroom, a pair of hands pulled me into the guest room. I kicked and scream, and when I finally got loose I realized it wasn't the guest room at all. I was in a padded cell. I was in a strait jacket.

"Somebody? Please help me!" I screamed. Suddenly two people rushed into the room, medical masks shielding their identity.

"Rebekah, back up before we sedate you!" One ordered.

I shook my head, bewilderment clouding my head. "What's going on?!"
"See, Doc." The other one said. His voice sounded familiar. "She's been like this for weeks. She knows who she is but she doesn't know what's going on, or what she's doing, or where she's at. She keeps talking to the walls, calling them Zack or Matt."

"Jake?" I asked, peering into the face of the man talking. He lowered his medical mask.

"Hello, Rebekah."

"What's going on?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "You went crazy on me, baby. I had no choice but to bring you here. You were a danger to me and more importantly yourself."

I shook my head. "No, no, no, no, no." I took a few steps back from him. "I got away from you. I left you. You put me in the hospital. You...you could have killed me."

Jake sighed before looking back at the doctor. "Rebekah, why don't you relax a little while? I think you're going to be here for a bit." The doctor said.

I shook my head, "No! I want to talk to Zack or Matt!"

"Rebekah! They aren't real!" Jake pleaded. "They're made up in your head!"

I tried to struggle against the strait jacket. "You're wrong! You're lying!"

"Beks..." Jake said.

"Don't call me that! Zack is the only one allowed to call me that!" Jake looked down but didn't reply. "Please let me talk to him, please!"

"Zack does not exist, Rebekah." The doctor told me.

"Yes, he does!" I screamed. "Zack! Zack! Zack!”

Jake ignored me so I continued to scream for Zack and the Doctor pulled a syringe out of his coat pocket. Jake held me as the doctor walked up and lined the needle up with my jugular vein.

“Jake, please don’t do this!" I begged, Jake didn’t look at me. “Jake!”

The doctor was about to push the sedative down into my neck when I jolted and suddenly I was back in the guest bed in Zack's house. I was drenched in sweat and it took me a few moments to notice Zack sitting beside me on the bed. His hands were on my shoulders as though he was trying to shake me awake and he wore a tired, yet troubled look on his face.

"Beks, are you awake? Are you okay?" He asked me anxiously.

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. My cheeks were wet but I wasn't sure if it was from crying or sweating. "Nightmare."

"Want to talk about it? You were calling out my name and...and Jakes." Zack didn't look like he wanted to tell me that last part.

"I wasn't calling for him out of yearning," I explained.

Zack nodded. "Do dreams like this happen a lot?"

I shook my head. "No, this is the only one. I think it's just because I saw him today."

"Well, yesterday." Zack corrected with a slight grin. I glanced at the clock and realized I hadn't even been asleep for an hour.

"I'm going to get some water and cool down a bit," I told him, tossing the blankets off my legs and getting out of bed.

"Want some company?" Zack asked.

I shook my head. "No, I'm okay." I walked to the bedroom door, "Go back to sleep. Really, I'm fine. Sorry I woke you."

"It's okay." He said before I left the room and walked down to the kitchen.

I poured myself a glass of water and sat down at one of the bar stools. I hated myself for imagining that dream. I might love horror films and ghost stories but nightmares were something I couldn't handle. It was like your own mind was turning against yourself, I hated it.

I sat in the kitchen for ten minutes or so, and then decided to go back to bed. I walked up stairs and turned into the bathroom first. I washed my face and dried it before exiting.

"Beks," I heard faintly from the room to the right of me.

I poked my head in and seen Zack walking from the bed towards his door. "Yeah?" My heart fluttered when I realized Zack was only in his boxers. My eyes traveled across his tattoo on his chest before I finally met his eyes.

"Come sleep with me," he told me. "I think, maybe, you'd sleep better with someone beside you."

I chewed on my lip, the offer was tempting because I knew he was probably right but it was hard to ignore the butterflies in my stomach and I knew it was a bad idea. "It's okay, I'm okay."
Zack shook his head and put his hand on the small of my back. "I insist. We used to share a bed all the time."

I laughed. "Only because you refused to sleep on the floor."

He laughed too. "That's not the point." He pulled back the blankets and got in. I reluctantly got in beside him, but snuggled down into the pillow when I realized how much more comfortable his bed was compared to the guest bed.

Zack and I didn't speak again. After a few minutes Zack's breaths became even and I knew he had started to fall asleep. My eyelids were drooping, and I was exhausted but couldn't sleep because Zack's arm was carelessly laid across my waist. I couldn't think about anything other than the heat radiating from his arm. My body sucked the heat in like it craved it.

Zack pulled me in closer to him and suddenly I couldn't breathe. My back rested against his bare chest. I could feel his hot breath against my ear. I shifted myself so I was lying on my back, my heart was pounding and I wondered if I could sneak back into the guest room without waking him. I wondered what he'd say in the morning when he woke up and I wasn't here in bed with him. I wondered if I really wanted to get out of bed with him in the first place.

"Beks," Zack said soft, tired voice. "Go to sleep."

I looked at him but he didn't bother opening his eyes. I shifted in bed again so I was staring at him, his arm still around my waist, my heart still beating ferociously. I closed my eyes for a few moments but opened them again. I stared at Zack's face, taking in every inch of it like I had never seen it before.

He was so cute when he slept. His face was pressed into the pillow, which made his lips pouty. I hadn't thought about his lips in years and suddenly they were all I could think about.

"Zack," I said barely above a whisper.

"Hm?"

I didn't reply. I wasn't even sure why I said his name. I pursed my lips together hoping he'd ignore me and go back to sleep, but instead he slowly opened one of his eyes. "What's wrong?"
I stared at him for another moment, before pulling his mouth to mine. I kissed him slowly, taking it all in before pulling away.

Zack stared at me for a seemingly long time before pulling me back to him. His arm tightened around my waist as he deepened the kiss. I ran my arm against his ribs and pulled him closer to me.

A small moan escaped me as he bit my lip and my hand traveled up his back. We kissed for a few more moments before he pulled away.

"We should get some sleep," he whispered.

I nodded gently and flipped over so my back was facing him. I just was beginning to doze off when a single thought ripped through me.

Gena.

Notes

Thank you for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! Feedback appreciated!

Title credit: The Used "Blue and Yellow"