The Way Your Heart Sounds

A few days later, Lauren came home to see Jimmy sitting on the couch. He quickly stood up and smiled at her.

“Hey, I was waiting for you,” he said. Things had been a little weird between them since Jimmy’s relapse a few days prior. However, he finally seemed to be returning to his usual, smiley self. Lauren smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Can we talk when you get settled in?” he asked.

“Of course,” she answered. She headed down the hallway to change her clothes and put her bag away, then returned to Jimmy and asked him what was up.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know I’ve been acting a little off the wall lately, probably scaring you half to death,” he laughed sheepishly.

When Lauren told him there was no need to apologize, he stopped her and continued.

“It’s wrong of me to keep you in the dark. After all, you’ve been there for me through this whole experience. You deserve to know what’s going on.”

Lauren felt a knot form in her stomach as she listened to him. She had no idea what he was about to say, but assumed that it wasn’t going to be good judging by his need to keep it a secret. He sighed as he looked at her.

“I’ve been having mental health issues for basically my whole life on top of the addictions. Depression and anxiety, mostly. So sometimes I just kind of … lose myself, I guess, like the other night. It’s been harder to keep it under control without the alcohol and the drugs… and I’m sorry for not being honest with you. It’s just not something I like to talk about, and I thought I was handling it well but I really wasn’t…” he trailed off, although he looked like he had more to say.

“Jimmy,” she placed a hand on his knee. “You’ve been doing phenomenal with all of this. And don’t you ever feel like you need to keep something from me. I promise I’ll still be here helping you through everything. No matter what.”

Jimmy smiled and looked over at her before wrapping her in a hug. He gently swayed back and forth with her.

“I get so scared you’re going to leave,” he mumbled.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she replied.

They stood there wrapped in each other's arms for a few minutes.

“Have you spoken to Johnny?” she asked. She felt kinda bad for screaming at him, but she was still unbelievably pissed off at him, so she didn’t feel too bad.

“He called me to apologize the next day, we made peace. Apparently Matt nearly beat the living crap out of him when he found out,” he paused to laugh, “he also told me to apologize to you.” She nodded.

“I guess I can forgive him, as long as you do.”

“He’s not a bad guy, he just screwed up. We used to drink together all the time so I can imagine this whole thing has been weird for him,” Jimmy sighed. Lauren knew he was just defending his friend, but still couldn’t believe that Johnny would jeopardize Jimmy’s recovery just to have his drinking buddy back. He could have asked any of the other guys to go out with him instead.

Jimmy decided to spend some time in the studio working, while Lauren made dinner for the both of them. She heard a knock on the front door while she was in the kitchen, so she stopped what she was doing. When she opened the door, she wasn’t thrilled to see Johnny standing there.

“Oh, hey,” he said awkwardly.

“Jimmy is in his studio,” she said.

“I actually came by to talk to you.”

Lauren invited him inside and they both sat on the couch. She asked him if he wanted to talk to Jimmy too, but he said it was fine to leave Jimmy alone and let him work.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for how much of a jerk I was the other day. I know I told Jimmy to tell you that, but I thought this deserved an apology in person,” Johnny said.

“I accept your apology. But for the future, can you take one of the other guys out with you when you go to the bar?” she laughed. Johnny cracked a smile.

“Yeah, I know I’m pretty dumb. Probably one of the worst friends ever,” he said.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” she shrugged. “You sure you don’t want to say hi to Jimmy while you’re here?”

Johnny said he’d pop his head in, and made his way down the hall to Jimmy’s studio. He came back rather quickly.

“He’s screaming in there. Don’t want to interrupt him in case he’s recording. Just tell him I said hi,” Johnny said.

“Sure thing.”

She led him to the front door and let him out as they said goodbye. She felt a little better about Johnny now. At least he had the decency to come apologize in person and acknowledge that he did something wrong. Since dinner was just about done, she made her way over to Jimmy’s studio herself to ask him if he was hungry. She didn’t hear screaming, so she knocked.

“Hey buttercup,” he said as he opened the door.

“Hungry? I made soup,” she said.

“Sounds great!”

He followed her out to the kitchen and smiled when she placed a bowl of soup down in front of him. He didn't even bother to let the soup cool down before he picked up the bowl and started drinking.

“So Johnny stopped by while you were in the studio,” Lauren started, blowing on a spoon full of soup.

“Yeah? What’d that little shit want?”

“He stopped by to apologize to me for the other day. He was going to pop in to say hi but he said you might be recording vocals or something,” she said. Jimmy nodded.

“He has a heart sometimes. And yeah, I was. Good thing he didn't come in, I guess,” he
laughed. They both ate quietly together for a few minutes before Jimmy checked his watch.

“Shit. I have to go. I have AA in like fifteen minutes,” he mumbled. He left his bowl in the sink, grabbed his jacket, and kissed her on the head.

“See you when I get back. Love you,” he said quickly.

As soon as Jimmy left, Lauren started washing the dishes from dinner when she heard the front door being unlocked. Maybe he forgot something?

Matt made his way through the front door and removed his sunglasses, looking around for Jimmy.

“Oh. Hi Lauren. I guess he's not here?” He asked, walking over to her.

“No, sorry. He had to go to AA. You're welcome to hang out until he comes back,” she said.

“No worries. I just wanted to pick something up from him. He must have forgot I was coming today. Mind if I peak in his studio?”

“Sure, as long as you know what you're looking for, ‘cause I sure don't,” Lauren laughed. Matt smiled and nodded.

“I do. I'll be right back,” and he was off down the hallway into Jimmy’s studio.

He came out a moment later with a Manila envelope and explained that it was a demo Jimmy wanted him to pick up. Lauren nodded and stood there a bit awkwardly, not sure what else to say.

“By the way, did Jimmy invite you to Val and I’s wedding yet? It's coming up and I'd love to have you there,” he said.

“I think he mentioned it briefly at some point. But yeah I'd love to go! I just have to find something to wear,” she answered. Matt smiled.

“Val has been freaking out over her dress, her hair, her makeup, all that crap. Girly things I guess,” he shrugged. “Anyway, I'll get out of your hair now. Tell Jimmy I stopped by.”

Once Matt left, Lauren got herself cuddled up in Jimmy’s bed. She hoped that he would be home soon because she was starting to miss him even though he’d only been gone for an hour or two. When she heard the front door open, she smiled and sat up in bed. Jimmy came through the bedroom door a few moments later.

When she jumped out of bed to hug him, he smiled and picked her up off the floor.

“Was I really gone that long?” He joked.

“You being gone at all is too long for me,” she mumbled, kissing the side of his neck.

Notes

Guys, I met the band on Friday night at their NYC pop up shop!!! It was the best night of my life, they were all so sweet and I got the chance to hug them all. I've been waiting to meet them since I was 12 years old so it was really like a dream come true! I just had to share, everyone I know in real life is sick of hearing about it. :P

Anyways, enjoy this one!