I Will Wait For You

*Two Weeks Later*

It’s Monday again. Gag. I have to go back to work. I slide out of bed slowly, and make my way to the bathroom to prepare for the day. Once showered and dressed, I head downstairs. I grab something for breakfast, and grab my keys off the counter.

I pull up in the parking lot at work, and immediately feel overwhelmed. I dread stepping into the office building, when I used to love my job. In fact, two weeks ago I did love my job, but suddenly my feelings have went south, and I don’t feel like I can do it anymore. I sulkily step out of my car, and head in.

--

With the workday behind me, I pack up my things, ready to head home. I’m extremely tired, for some reason, and can’t seem to remember anything today. I’ve been making mistakes all day.

“Lakyn, would you mind stepping into my office for a moment to talk?” Janice asks, standing before me.

“Sure.” I smile, and follow her to her office.

“Please have a seat.” She motions to the chair before her desk, as she sits down in her own. I sit down, as she proceeds to speak. “I noticed today, that you seem to be having some difficulties with your work. Is there something going on that you would like to tell me?”

“No.” I stutter. “I mean, not really, just haven’t been feeling well… or myself, lately.”

“It seems to be taking a huge toll on your work, as I said previously, and that concerns me. Do you need to take some more time off to recollect yourself?”

“I-I’m not for sure, really.”

“I see. Well, I’m afraid that if you can no longer perform your duties at work, I’ll have to let you go. I really don’t want to, Lakyn. You’ve been a great employee, and I would hate to see you go.”

“Oh.” I sulk in my chair. As much as I don’t like my job right now, I can’t really afford to lose it.
“I’ll give you until the end of this week. If your job performance hasn’t returned to normal, I will have to let you go.”

“Okay. I understand.” We both stand, and, for a moment, I think she is going to say
something more, but instead, she walks be to the door, and says she will see me tomorrow.

As soon as I get home, and inside my house, with the door shut snugly behind me, I fall to the ground, weeping. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I’m about to lose my job, and I can’t even control it. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve never been like this before. Never felt like this before, and not in a good way. This isn’t a fairy-tale, but more like Hell. My own personal Hell.

I pick myself up from the floor, and walk upstairs to my room. I throw my purse and cell on the bed, and walk into the bathroom. I look at my tear-stained face in the mirror, and can’t help but cry a little harder. I walk over to the tub, and decide that I’m going to take a nice hot bath. I turn on the water, and plug the bottom of the tub. I undress myself, and sink slowly into the warm water. Once it’s full, I shut the water off, and lay back. Unfortunately, it’s difficult for me to relax, with all that’s going on in my head.

I lie back farther, until the water laps around my face, until my whole body is submerged in water. I lie there for a second, seeing how long I can hold my breath.

I can hear muffled voices coming from somewhere. “Lakyn?”

It’s like I’m dreaming.

“Can you hear me?”

I can hear someone sobbing.

I’m trying to open my eyes.

A small flash of light peaks through, it’s so bright, my eyes quickly shut again.

“Lakyn?!” Yelling now.

I’m still trying to see that bright light again, when I’m ripped from my dream. I try to breath, and end up taking in water instead. I come up coughing. I’m back in my tub, back in my real life. Alexa has her hands on my shoulders, and sits on the edge of the tub beside me, looking at me like I’m crazy.

“What the fuck are you doing, Lakyn?! Are you trying to kill yourself?!”

“No.” I mutter, finally able to stop coughing.

“That’s not what it looks like!”

“Is everything alright?” Brian asks from outside the bathroom.

“No everything is not alright!” She yells in return. But quickly catches herself. “But don’t come in, she’s not dressed! Wait downstairs, I’ll be down in a second.”

“Alright.” He says, and I hear the footsteps getting lighter, as he walks away.

“I think your bath time is over.” She says, turning her attention back to me. She stands up, grabs a towel, and tosses it to me. “I’ll wait for you downstairs with the guys. If you’re not down in five minutes or less, I’ll be back. Do not try to pull any stupid shit like that.” She scolds me, and then leaves the room.

I wrap the towel around myself, and step out of the tub. I drain the water, as I look at myself in the mirror. I look slightly better than before, but I’m still a wreck. I rid my face of smeared makeup, and dry myself off. I walk into the room to throw on some clothes, before heading downstairs.

Everyone is sitting on the couches, talking amongst themselves, but as soon as they see me, all conversation stops. Alexa comes over to me and takes my shoulder, leading me to sit down on one of the couches.

“I am perfectly capable of walking, and sitting on my own. Thanks.” I take a seat next to Matt. We’ve hung out several times since that day at the beach, and I’ve gotten comfortable having him around. Of course, we’re just friends, but I feel like I can really trust him, and that means a lot to me. Especially during a time like this.

“Is there something that you want to tell me… tell us, maybe.” She stares at me, waiting for me to admit that I’ve done something wrong.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“All I know, is that when I walked into the bathroom, you were lying unconscious in a tub full of water.”

“For the last time, Lex, I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” My voice is rising, I’m clearly irritated. Matt puts a hand on my back, trying to calm me. “Would you please just let it go.”

She huffs and starts to say something, but I cut her off. “I was just taking a bath. People still take those you know.”

“Stop being a smart ass.”

“I’ve had a rough day, and I was trying to relax. I was rudely interrupted, of course.”

“Had I not have interrupted, you would’ve drowned!”

“I was conscious.” I lie, choosing not to tell her about the dream.
“My ass.”

“You startled me of course, when you pulled me from the water. I really was not trying to kill myself. I promise.” I smile at her.

“If you pull any shit like that again, I’m admitting you.” She smirks at me, and we laugh.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Umm… you invited us for dinner…”

“Shit, I forgot! I’m sorry!” I stand up from the couch, ready to head to the kitchen.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Matt asks, looking up at me.

“I just had a rough day at work, and I’m stressed.” I choose, again, to skip the part about my boss wanting to fire me. I don’t want anyone worrying about me… not any more than they already are now.

I walk to the kitchen and rifle through my cabinets and fridge, looking for something to cook for everyone. I’m about to yell at them to see what everyone wants to eat, when Matt appears next to me.

“Need some help?” He asks, smiling at me.

“What sounds good for dinner? What does everyone like to eat?” I shut the fridge, and look at him for answers.

He’s really close to me, looking in my eyes, studying me. Suddenly his hands are on my face, pulling my lips to meet his.

When we pull away, we’re both breathless. And I don’t know what to think.

“I’m sorry.” He puts some space between us. “I’ve been wanting to do that, since I’ve laid eyes on you. And actually remember it.” He smirks, and I laugh.

“It’s okay. I enjoyed it. I just can’t think straight now.” I laugh.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.” He has a devilish grin on his face, and something deep down inside of me wants him right now. I know it’s not the right timing, though, I don’t want to ruin what we have.

“How about we just eat out?” I say loud enough for everyone to hear, as I stare at Matt, unable to take my eyes off of this handsome man before me.

I think I hear an agreement from the living room, but I’m too busy stealing one more kiss to really hear it.

Notes