I Will Wait For You

Matt was right, this is a long walk. I’m not even halfway home, and I feel like I’ve been walking for ages.

I have to stop to wait for the walk signal, so I take in my surroundings. It’s not every day that I walk around town. Ironically enough, I’m right next to a clinic. I decide to finally take Alexa’s advice, and get myself checked out.

--

*One week later*

“I understand you have to do what’s best for you. I really hope you start feeling better.” Janice pulls me into a hug, taking me by surprise. “I wish you the best.” She smiles, as she pulls away.

I thank her, and walk back to my office to grab my things.

On the way out to my car, I dial Alexa.

“Lakyn, is everything okay? I know I was really harsh on you last week, and I’m really sorry. I just…”

“Lex,” I cut her off. “I really need you right now. I’m not mad about what happened last week, I’ve gotten over it. I just really could use a friend right now.” I feel as if I’m about to break down, but I know I have to try and be strong. I don’t want to break down in the parking lot, before I’ve even had a chance to tell her what’s going on.

“Of course. Come over, I’ll send the guys on their way.”

“Actually, it’s okay if they stay. I’ll be over in a few.” I say, hanging up the phone, before I start to cry.

--

I don’t even have a chance to knock on the door, before Alexa has opened it. She immediately pulls me into a hug.

“You had us all so worried.” She says, as she hugs me. She pulls away, and ushers me into the living room, where I’m swarmed by hugs, as well.

After everyone’s calmed down, we all sit around the living room.

“I know that most of you are probably upset with me, right now, and I understand that.” I start off. “I want to say that I’m really sorry to have worried you all this past week. No one did anything wrong, I promise. Not even Alexa yelling at me last week.” I smile at her, after saying this. “I don’t really know how to go about telling you guys this, but” I have to pause to compose myself. “I went to see a doctor last weekend, on my way home.”

Alexa looks stunned, like I must be making this up.

“I know what you’re thinking.” I have to laugh at her response. It’s the little things. “I really did go see a doctor. Amazing, huh?” I try to use a little sarcasm to steady myself. “I can’t tell you how many tests they did. They can’t explain it.”

Alexa, impatient as always, cuts in. “Explain what?”

“I’m dying.” I finally spit out the words.

No one says anything for a solid five minutes, at least. I think they’re all in shock. Alexa starts to cry, breaking the silence that’s upon us, and I walk over to console her. I sit beside her on the couch.

“I don’t understand. Why? How?” She says, through her tears.

“I don’t know. They couldn’t explain it. It’s apparently not like anything they’ve dealt with before. They don’t know the cause.”

“Maybe they’re wrong.” She says, looking up at me, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “You should get a second opinion.”

“I did. They said the same thing.”

“But, it can’t be true. You’re young, you still have so much life ahead of you!”

“I realize.” I let my head fall.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Lake.” Alexa wraps her arms around me, and I can’t help but cry to, as she cries harder.

No one chooses to speak, as we both sit there on the couch, crying. As we calm down, I pull away from her, and dry my eyes. She does the same, as she sits back against the couch.
“I’m really sorry to throw this on you all, like this.” I stand up, and pace behind the couch. I can’t look at anyone in the eye, because I’m afraid I’ll break down again. This sparks more tears from Alexa, and seeing as she can’t control herself, Brian leads her into the other room. I’m thankful he does, I can’t handle seeing her like this, and knowing my own fate now.

The other four guys sit silently on the couch, staring at anything but me.

“Isn’t anyone going to say anything?” I stop pacing, and look to them for some sort of answer, but no one speaks up. I can’t handle this, too. Even Matt doesn’t want to look at me, now, or speak to me.

I’ve tried so hard to push the tears back, but they start up again, full force. I can’t see, so I just drop to my knees on the floor, and let my head hang in my hands. I’ve been telling myself this past week that everything will be okay. I was able to keep myself composed when I told Janice this morning that I was quitting my job. I can’t handle it anymore, I’m tired of acting like I’m fine, when I’m not.

I feel strong arms pulling me up, and I look up to see Matt. I cry harder thinking about what he feels right now. He pulls me into his chest, and wraps his arms around me, as I cry into his shirt. I don’t ever want to leave these arms. I’ve wasted so much time screwing around, when I could’ve made this man mine long ago.

When I finally calm down, again, I pull my face from Matt’s shirt, now soaked with my tears. I can tell that he’s been crying to. I reach a hand up, and wipe a stray tear from his cheek. He pushes my hand away, and kisses me.

It’s only too clear to me now, his true feelings for me. If only I’d realized them sooner.

Notes