I Will Wait For You

I look around, but I can’t see anything. I’m surrounded by complete darkness, and it’s terrifying.

“Hello?” I call out, hoping, in vein, that someone will respond.

Suddenly, there’s a light coming from behind me. It’s far away, but I can make out shapes moving around, I think. I hear faint voices. I start to walk towards the light to try to make out what they’re saying.

“I don’t know how much longer we can wait.”

“Hello?” I call again.

Suddenly, the shapes are gone, the light disappears, and I start to panic, screaming out for anyone, anything to respond to me.

“Please! Someone tell me what’s going on!” I scream, but it’s useless. I fall to my knees my body trembling as I sob uncontrollably.

Suddenly, the light is back. I look up. It looks like it’s getting closer. I stop sobbing, and get back to my feet. I start walking toward the light again, but stop when I realize that it’s not just one light, it’s headlights, and they’re coming right toward me. I scream out for help.

I sit upright in bed. It was just a dream. It’s still dark outside, so I look over at the clock, it’s only a quarter past two in the morning. I feel stirring beside me, and realize that Matt must still be in bed beside me. It’s dark, but I can make out the shape of him lying next to me.

A bright light suddenly lights up the whole room, and I realize I’m not at home at all. I’m in the hospital. I look over to where Matt is lying, but I realize that it wasn’t Matt lying next to me. It’s me.

I start to scream, as I stare at my lifeless body lying in the hospital bed. The machines start beeping like crazy, and there’s a rush of motion around me. Doctors surround the bed at once.
“We’re losing her!” One of them yells, as I try to scream at them that I’m right here.

I feel myself being shaken, and suddenly I’m back home, in my bed. The morning sun is shining bright through the window in my room. Matt is sitting next to me on the bed, his hand on my arm, and an extremely concerned look on his face. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I don’t know why my dreams are so real these days, and why they won’t leave me alone.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Matt says soothingly, pulling me into his lap. We sit like this for at least ten minutes, until I can get my emotions under control. “Do you want to talk about it?” Matt asks, pulling back to look at me, as I stop crying.

“It was so real… terrifying, even. I thought I was dying… or that I was already dead. I was in the hospital, watching my body lay lifeless on the bed there. Doctors rushed in, they said they were losing me.” I choke back a sob.

“It’s alright.” Matt says, pulling me back to him. “You’re here with me now.”

“You stayed the whole night?” I say, the realization hitting me.

“That okay?”

“Of course, I just didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone, after what happened last night.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, really. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes, I believe so. Do you have to leave?”

“There’s a band meeting soon…”

“Okay.” I say, trying not to sound upset that I’ll be alone, once he leaves.

“Would you like to come?”

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t. Please come?”

“Okay.” I’m relieved that I won’t have to be alone, after all. “I’m going to shower before we go, though.”

“I’ll wait for you in the living area.”

“Sounds great.” I smile at him, as I remove myself from his lap, and make my way to the bathroom to get ready.

--

“Hey, Lakyn! Are you feeling better?” Jimmy asks, as we meet the guys later on.

“Yeah…” I say, reluctantly.

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“It just wasn’t a great night.” I try not to give away too much.

“Matt’s that terrible, huh?” Johnny laughs, and Matt punches him in the arm.

“Shut the hell up.” Matt says. “That’s not what she’s talking about.”

“Of course not.” Johnny teases. Matt flips him off in return.

“Maybe after our meeting, we could go do something fun?” Jimmy looks at me for approval.

“What are you thinking?”

“Whatever your heart desires.” He smiles.

“If I didn’t know any better, Jim, I’d say you were flirting with my girl.” Matt comes up next to us.

“Your girl? I don’t see a ring on her finger, so I’d say she’s still fair game, Sanders.” Jimmy laughs, teasing him.

Matt suddenly puts his hands on my waist, and pulls me to him, kissing me. My hormones start to get the best of me, and I start to imagine this situation escalating, in my head, as I close my eyes, and surrender to him. All too soon, though, he pulls away. He makes a point to keep one hand on my waist, though, as he dares Jimmy to make a move now.

“Point taken.” Jimmy laughs. “Although it’s not me you’d have to worry about, it’s Vengeance.”

My body tenses, as I recall what happened between me and Zach not so long ago. I can feel Matt tense, too, and his hand slides away from me. Jimmy’s face goes white, as does Zach’s, at the realization of what he just said, settles in.

As if on cue, to break up the awkwardness that’s settled upon us, Brian and Alexa pull up.

“Sorry we’re a little late.” Brian says, getting out of the car, and walking around to the passenger side to open Alexa’s door.

“No problem.” Matt says, nonchalantly. Maybe he’s already over what just happened. Jimmy and Zach have both regained the color in their faces, as we all walk in the building.

Once the guys are gone, Alexa turns to me. “How are you?” I can tell she isn't happy.

“I’m better.” I lie, partially feeling better, but also not so much after the awkward parking lot conversation that just took place.

“You better not be lying to me.” She says, with a completely straight face, and I know she’s done messing around, if something happens again, she’s liable to drag me to the hospital by my hair, if she has to.

“I’m fine, Lex. You need to keep calm, though, for the baby.” I feign a smile at her.

“The baby is fine. You should be worried about yourself. Something is seriously wrong, and you’re not making matters any better by not going to a doctor to see what’s up.”

“I’m handling it.” I say, solemnly. I’m getting sick of her scolding me, though I know deep down that she’s right.

“How?!” She raises her voice. This situation seems to be escalating, and I really don't want to deal with this right now.

“Lex, calm down.”

“How could I possibly calm down when you’re being a fucking idiot?!” We’ve caught the attention of the lady sitting behind the desk at the other end of the room.

“Maybe we should go outside…” I put a hand on Alexa’s arm, steering her towards the door. I watch the lady pick up her phone, and start talking to someone. “I think you need some fresh air.”

“I think you need some fucking fresh air!” She yells, pushing me away. “I think you need to wake up and smell the roses! Something’s very wrong with you, but yet you deny it every step of the way! One of these days I’m going to come over and find you lying dead in your apartment!”

“What’s going on?” Brian asks, walking towards us, Matt in tow.

Alexa ignores him, continuing her tirade. “You should really pull your head out of your ass, and think about everyone else around you! Don’t you think we’ll care if you die?!”

“Alexa.” Brian tries to calm her.

I’ve had enough. I turn around and walk out the doors. It’s only when I’m halfway across the parking lot, searching for my car that I realize I rode here with Matt.

“Lakyn!” Matt comes running up behind me. “Are you alright? What was all that about?”

“She’s pissed because I haven’t gone to a doctor to figure out why I’m so fucked up, I guess.”

“Don’t say that.”

I feel tears welling up in my eyes. “I just want to go home, Matt.”

“I’ll take you.”

“No. I don’t want to interrupt your meeting, or whatever. I’ll just walk.”

“I’m not going to let you walk all the way home, you live on the other side of town.”

“I want to. I really just need some time alone. I’m sorry.” I turn away from him, and start walking home.

Notes